“Uh . . . Wilhelm?” said the kobold hesitantly.
“Willum,” Willum reminded him.
“I don’t think were gonna make it.” The kobald pulled a card out of his hand and turned it around. On the face of the card was a vertical infinity symbol colored in blue and gold. It was the high universal card. No matter what happened, he was going to take at least one trick. They had lost before they even began.
“Blast it!” Willum swore, throwing down his cards.
“Ha ha! We win!” shouted the dwarf. He pointed at Bofus. “”Once again, kobalds prove to be the inferior race!” The kobald cried out in shame and began repeatedly slamming his face into the stone table.
Willum stood from his chair. “Okay, Theodore. What are those two syllables?”
The imp’s grin spread from ear-to-ear and he snapped his fingers. The smoky ground underneath the table opened up. The dwarf and kobald gasped as they fell into nothingness. Theodore rubbed his pale hands together as he approached Willum.
“Ho-Ho! Two words. Six letters,” he said with a giggle. “You will approach Mage Vannya at some point of the day and say, ‘lick me’.”
“Ugh! No way,” Willum said. “Lick me? That’s childish.”
The imp gave him a dull look. “We’re talking about a two syllable punishment. Of course it’s going to be childish. That’s what makes it so amusing.”
Willum put his face in his hands, trying to think of a way he could say that and not have it come out as vulgar. “I can’t do it.”
“Rules are rules, Willy,” the imp reminded him. “Now I believe it is time you should be going. You only have about two hours before sunrise.”
“No, Theodore. Make it something else. We should renegotia-!”
“And no sneaking those syllables into the middle of a sentence either, Willy!” the imp added as the smoky ground beneath Willum’s feet disappeared and he fell into blackness.
Two hours later he was wakened by a booted foot.
“It is morning, Willum Oddblade,” said Jhonate, giving his ribs a firm nudge. “Wake now if you wish to eat.”
She moved on, carrying her loaded pack over to the packhorses and Willum sat up with a groan. The rest of his companions were up and moving. Jhexin was joining his sister at the horses, while Vannya fussed over the breakfast. Willum didn’t see Deathclaw anywhere, but the raptoid was likely already scouting the road ahead.
“How are you feeling, Willy? Rested?” the imp asked.
“Shut up,” Willum grumbled as he climbed out of his bedroll. He pulled on his boots and began putting his things away. One thing he had learned quickly on this trip was that Jhonate didn’t mess around. She hadn’t been kidding when she said he might not get breakfast. She followed through.
Willum brought his bedroll and pack to the horses and loaded them up, next to the wrapped body of the troll thing. He noted the amused expression on Jhexin’s face and nodded at the man. “Morning.”
“Good morning to you, dry foot,” Jhexin replied. “You look tired. Is it because you carry that bed around with you?”
“No. It’s my axe,” he replied.
It wasn’t the first time Jhonate’s brother had given him a hard time about his bedroll. The Roo-Tan didn’t often use horses, preferring to run everywhere they went. As a result, they traveled light. Both Jhexin and Jhonate had left their colder climate gear behind and slept in a sort of mesh sack at night. It weighed very little and kept insects off of them as they slept.
If not for Vannya they probably wouldn’t have horses at all. The beautiful mage may have begun dressing like a Roo-Tan woman, but she didn’t know how to travel like one. The majority of the items that weighed the two horses down were hers. Jhonate had opposed weighing down their expedition with such a load, but after Vannya had protested, Xedrion had approved it. Most of it was investigative equipment she had brought with her from the Mage School, packed away in bulging sacks and chests of various sizes.
Willum glanced at Jhexin, “Son of Xedrion, why do you think that your father chose this particular group to undertake this journey?”
The Roo-Tan warrior shrugged. “Sir Edge was the one who suggested us. The only addition father made was replacing Qurl with Jhonate.”
“Why do you think he did that?” Willum said.
Jhexin, shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know, but it sure made her mad.”
“Ho-ho, Willy! He is clever, that Protector,” the imp observed.
Why is that? Willum asked.
“Ever since he agreed to their marriage, those two can barely keep their hands off each other,” Theodore replied. “Sending her away allows their ardor to cool and it also allows him to evaluate his future son-in-law without her interference.”
Come on, Willum said. He had been around both of them many times. If Sir Edge hadn’t told him they were betrothed, he wouldn’t have believed it.
“It’s obvious, Willy. Ho! Whenever those two are in the same room you can practically smell it.”
“I think it’s because of her,” Willum said aloud, nodding towards Vannya. The Mage had lifted a bubbling pot of gruel from the fire and was sitting it on a rock to cool. “I don’t think the Protector wanted Vannya to be the only woman on this trip.”
Jhexin followed his eyes and his smile became a leer. “You could be right about that one. Too bad she is a dry foot. If she was a Roo-Tan girl, I would be laying marsh roses at her door.”
Willum didn’t know how to respond to that. With the tone in the man’s voice, he wasn’t sure if the remark was supposed to be vulgar or romantic. “Even ‘dry foot’ girls love flowers,” he said.
“So how are you going to say it to her, Willy?” the imp asked. “Have you decided?”
No, he replied mentally. He was dreading it. It was hard to even think when that woman was around. He couldn’t imagine approaching her with so base a statement.
“Are you two eating or not?” Jhonate called.
“Yes!” both men replied. They approached the fire and held out bowls which the mage filled with a smile.
“I am so excited for today!” she declared. “Finally we’ll get there and see what we can learn from this Mister Stolz.”
“You will call him Mister Hoon,” Jhonate reminded her, also directing a glance at Willum. “Until he tells you otherwise.”
“Right, the name thing,” Vannya said, placing a hand on her chest. “Thank you, Jhonate. I would likely have forgotten and I wouldn’t want to offend the man.”
Jhonate glowered at her. Willum was sure that the mage hadn’t intended to sound condescending. He had also found it difficult to remember that particular cultural tradition at first. But after a few days in Roo-Tan’lan it had become second nature. He supposed that it was harder for Vannya to remember since everyone so readily gave her permission. Jhexin had decided to let her use his name by the second hour of the journey. Jhonate had been unpleased by that development as well.
“Are you still not ready to leave yet?” said Deathclaw suddenly from behind Willum’s shoulder.
Willum jumped and the horses whinnied in fear. They stumbled a few yards down the road before Jhexin was able to catch up to them and calm them down. Willum was grateful that they had been hobbled. Otherwise, they would have been delayed trying to chase them down.
And you could have warned me he was coming, Willum said to the imp. He couldn’t blame the horses for being nervous. The raptoid was a formidable presence, muscular and dangerous looking. Every part of his body was a weapon and that wasn’t even counting his sword and throwing knives.
“Ho-ho, Willy!” laughed the imp. “You should pay closer attention to your surroundings.”
“I didn’t hear you approaching,” Willum told the raptoid.
“Of course you did not,” Deathclaw replied, then addressed Jhonate. “What is the direction of our journey today?”
“We travel south to the riverbank and then we head eastward,” Jhonate replied. “In half a day�
�s journey, the river joins the swamp. That is where we shall find Stolz’s cabin. Nearly two miles away from the village of Glen.”
“I shall stay east of you, then,” Deathclaw replied. “I will let you know if I find anything that should alarm you.”
“Uh, Deathclaw. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to have breakfast with us?” Vannya asked.
The mage was eyeing the raptoid with calculated interest. Twice already on their journey, she had asked if she could examine him with her magic. Willum wasn’t sure what she was hoping to learn, but Deathclaw hadn’t exactly been kind with his refusals.
The raptoid leaned over the pot and sniffed at it with distaste. “Bananas and berries and mush. No. I shall eat a bird on the way.”
He turned and disappeared into the foliage. Vannya stared after him with pursed lips. “Well, he didn’t have to be so rude about it.”
“Eat quickly,” Jhonate commanded. “I would like to get there as soon as possible.”
They did so, polishing off their bowls of gruel in silence. The ‘mush’ that Deathclaw had spoken about was actually rice. It was something that Willum had eaten a few times during the siege at the Mage School, but never as a sweet dish. Vannya had mixed in some cinnamon with the berries and banana and though he found the texture a bit strange, Willum thought it was pretty good.
“It was delicious, Vannya. Thank you,” Willum said.
“Why you are very welcome, Willum,” she said, placing a hand on his arm and delivering one of her leg numbing smiles.
“Ho! Now is a good time say it!” the imp encouraged.
Willum’s cheeks reddened and he merely grunted and turned away. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this.
“So you keep saying, Willy,” the imp said. “But you will. That was the agreed upon payment for your loss.”
The group finished cleaning up the campsite and left, Jhonate taking the lead. As she had the first two days of the journey, Vannya stuck close to the woman’s side, enthusiastically pointing out things and asking observant questions. She kept a notebook in her hand, something she called her ‘field journal’ and jotted down copious notes.
Willum and Jhexin walked behind them, leading the horses and generally admiring the view. Every once in a while, the Roo-Tan warrior would make a remark or two about the mage that was surprisingly blunt for someone raised in Jhonate’s family. Willum had noticed this behavior often from other men when Vannya was around. She seemed oblivious to it, but he wondered if that was really the case. She didn’t exactly encourage it, but all the same, Willum noticed that she seemed to know exactly which men to ask if she needed something.
“What is your difficulty with our bet, Willy?” the imp teased. “Could it be that you’re enamored with this scented mage?”
Scented? Willum asked.
“You do not smell it? Ho! The girl practically douses herself with flower water. She has several bottles of it in one of those wooden chests of hers.”
Well, I hadn’t noticed, Willum replied, though now that he thought about it, she did smell nice.
A short time later, they came upon the river Jhonate had mentioned. The road that they were on crossed the river at a shallows, but Jhonate took a left turn and led them along the bank where they joined with another road of sorts. It wasn’t very well traveled, basically a pair of wagon tracks surrounded by marsh grasses. They headed down this trail as the river shallows widened, splitting into several small streams.
“How much further, fullsister?” Jhexin called out. “The river has become marshes.”
Jhonate shrugged. “I do not know. It has been many years since father took me to see old Stolz.”
“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?” Vannya said, flashing a smile back at them as she jotted down more notes. “Look at how quickly the vegetation changed as we reached the marshes. There are plants here I’ve never seen before!”
Jhexin let out a low groan. “Look at the way the sun hits that yellow hair. And those eyes and that rear! I’ve been thinking, father is allowing Jhonate to marry an outsider. Perhaps he would allow me to court this one, mage or not.”
“You want to marry her?” Willum said in surprise. It wasn’t exactly the kind of coarse talk he heard from the students in the academy.
“Agh, you are right,” Jhexin said. “She is too much of a thinker for me. But, mmm, if there was one woman worth becoming a dradatchi for, it would be this one!”
The Roo-Tan warrior said that last part a bit too loudly. Vannya and Jhonate both turned their heads to look back at the two men. Jhonate’s face was a mask of anger. Jhexin looked back at them innocently, while Willum managed a sort of apologetic grimace.
Vannya leaned toward Jhonate and whispered something to her. The Roo-Tan woman gave her a firm nod and snapped, “Jhexin! Walk with me. I need your eyes.”
The warrior dropped his horse’s lead and trotted forward, smiling at Vannya as he approached. She replied with a grin of her own and left them to walk back to the horses with Willum. She grasped the lead Jhexin had dropped.
“Sorry, I had to get out of his line of sight for awhile,” she said conspiratorially. “He’s sweet, but a bit of a starer. I could practically feel his eyes burning holes in my buttocks.”
Willum chuckled a bit embarrassedly and asked, “How do you handle that? I mean, when men look at you in that way.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I must say that is the first time a man has asked me that.”
“I’m sorry if it was an inappropriate question,” Willum said.
“No. I was just surprised. Boys don’t usually try to think of things from a woman’s point of view.” She thought about how to answer it for a moment. “It doesn’t bother me for the most part. Not unless they get rude, and when that happens, I’ve learned to deal with it. My father told me when I was young that men were going to like me. He taught me to use it to my advantage.”
“Oh?” Willum said. She had a reputation for flirting to get what she wanted. He was surprised to hear her admit it.
“Now would be a hilarious time for you to say it, Willy,” the imp pleaded.
Shut up, Theodore.
“Not in any vulgar way,” she assured him. “My, that could have sounded wrong. No, he taught me that a smile here and a touch on the arm there would be helpful when I needed something done.”
“That does sound like something your father would say,” Willum said. The Wizard Valtrek was the Mage School’s spymaster and had a reputation for possessing a real devious mind. Willum had seen it for himself during the war. He rushed to add, “Please take no offense. I respect your father. It’s just that I know he’s always looking for an angle.”
“Don’t worry. I know what he’s capable of,” she said. “I actually like it when men aren’t afraid to speak honestly around me.”
“I will have to remember that for the future,” Willum said.
“Why Willum Vriil,” she said, dropping her jaw in mock surprise. “Is this your way of announcing your interest? I thought you had something going with that platemail woman.”
“Uh, no, I . . . Kathy the Plate?” He reached up and rubbed the back of this neck. “Well, she definitely seems interested in me, but I don’t know. I mean . . . I have never even seen her without that armor on.”
She giggled and then her eyes became wide. “Have you ever thought, what if she looks the same underneath? I mean, what if that is just her body type?”
He smiled questioningly. “You mean all rigid and segmented?”
“Yeah. She could be an insect woman and you’d never know.” She snorted a cute laugh. Jhexin and Jhonate looked back at them and she placed a hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she said lowering her voice. “I wasn’t trying to make fun. I’m sure she is a lovely person.”
He chuckled again. “She is . . . I think. It’s hard to say. I wasn’t able to get to know her all that well. She sort of latched onto me towards the end of the war and then I left with Tolivar and I
haven’t seen her since. So to answer your earlier question, no, there isn’t anything going on with me and Kathy.”
“That wasn’t my question, Willum,” Vannya said. “I asked if you were announcing your interest in me.”
He blinked at her. Her eyes were so blue. “I . . . don’t usually ‘announce’ my interest in women. I sort of spend time with them and figure that if they like me, something will sort of work out.”
She squinted at him. “No wonder Kathy the Plate felt she had to be so forward with you. I’ll tell you what. When we get back to Roo-Tan’lan, why don’t you ‘spend some time with me’ while I’m doing my research and we can see if ‘something will sort of work out’.”
The Troll King (The Bowl of Souls Book 9) Page 28
