Trembling with a mixture of emotions, of which the predominant one was humiliation, Laura shook her head. "I'll go with the others, thanks. I'm not a bit tired."
"I still think you should come with us.''
Inflamed by the intimacy of the word "us," she shook her head more forcibly. "I tell you I'm fine. I'd prefer to stick with the crowd anyway."
A spark of anger lit the gray eyes, then with a curt nod to Elaine he strode across to Laura. "Come back in the car. You look pale as a ghost."
"Don't give me orders." Unwilling to let anyone know they were arguing, she kept her voice low, but the vehemence was unmistakable. "Go off with your girl friend. You've done your duty for the day."
Aware of Beth still close by, Jake frowned. "I didn't make any arrangements to be collected. It was left open and- "
"Jake! "Elaine called. "If we don't hurry, we'll be late for the film."
"You'd better go," repeated Laura coldly and walked over to where Beth had tactfully withdrawn herself.
For an instant Jake hestitated, then he moved to the car, climbed in and was driven off.
"What was all that about?" Beth asked as the sound of the engine died away. "Why were you and Jake arguing?"
"Jake was annoyed because I didn't want a lift."
"I'm sure Elaine didn't want to give you one, either! What got into him? He isn't usually daft."
"Perhaps he thinks a bit of competition will do your niece good."
"Elaine doesn't need to be made any keener. She's crazy about him already. And the harder he plays to get, the keener she becomes."
"Then he's doing the right thing," Laura said tartly.
"Jake isn't putting on an act. But he won't let himself be pushed into a situation until he's made up his own mind about it."
Not trusting herself to answer, Laura began to walk down the path.
For the rest of the day her mood alternated between anger at Jake's behavior and anger with herself for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. Suppose he had not known Elaine was going to collect him and had wanted to give her a lift back in the hope he could part company with Elaine once they returned to Eddlestone? Yet against this was the way Elaine had warned him they would be late for the cinema, a fact that bespoke a commitment on his part to spend the evening with her.
But then why shouldn't he have made a date with Elaine? When he had decided to go potholing he had not known what was going to happen; it was probably as much of a revelation to him as it had been to her to discover the passion they could arouse in each other. Yet if this were so, surely he would telephone her the moment he could? Even if he could not leave Elaine tonight, he would want to make sure that they met tomorrow.
But the evening passed without a word from him and at midnight she went to bed and tried to sleep, assuring herself he would come and see her in the morning.
Before the sun was up Laura was busy in the kitchen, baking coconut cakes—Jake's favorite—and making the Sunday lunch, doing anything and everything she could to keep her mind occupied. Yet always Jake's face was in front of her, his gray eyes quizzical, his wide mouth curved in the ironic smile she had come to know so well.
"You're up early," her father commented, coming into the kitchen at half-past nine and staring at the batch of cakes on the table. "Are we expecting visitors?"
"I felt like baking." She gave him a kiss. "Bacon and eggs or pancakes? "
"Neither. I'll settle for these." He helped himself to a warm coconut cookie and buttered it liberally. "Delicious," he went on. "Pity Jake won't be here to taste 'em today."
Surprised, she almost dropped the teapot she was filling. "How do you know he won't?"
"Because he's meeting one of our directors in Manchester this morning. There's a big government contract in the offing and Jake has an idea how we can tender a cut-price offer."
Laura put the teapot on the table. So that ended her hopes of seeing him today.
"What's wrong?" her father asked. "You've lost your smile."
The ringing of the telephone brought it back with such brilliance that John Winters gazed after her in astonishment as she darted into the hall like a whirlwind to pick up the receiver.
"Hello, Laura," said Beth. "I'm calling to see if you and your father would like to come over for tea this afternoon."
Forcing back her disappointment, Laura murmured that she was too tired to go out anywhere, but that she was sure her father would accept Not for anything in the world did she intend to leave this telephone today!
"If you change your mind, come along with him," Beth went on. "Elaine won't be there, if that makes any difference."
Laura's pulses jumped. "I don't object to your niece, Beth."
"Don't you? I wasn't sure. Anyway, she's in Manchester for the day."
The breath seemed to leave Laura's body, and automatically concluding the conversation, she replaced the telephone and returned to the kitchen. Beth's casual remark about Elaine had sounded the death knell to all her hopes, bringing the mirage of happiness to a shattering end. And mirage was exactly the right word! Only a fool would have read so much into a casual kiss, have seen it as a sign of love instead of propinquity. How could she have allowed herself to respond to Jake like an infatuated schoolgirl? Remembering the way she had shamelessly shown her feelings, she burned with mortification.
"What's wrong, Laura?"
Her father's voice made her realize she had been standing motionless by the doorway, and she hurriedly crossed to the oven and opened the door.
"It was Beth," she mumbled. "She's invited us over for tea."
"Good. The break will be nice for you."
"I can't go. I've some things to do here."
"Don't be silly. Of course you must come."
"No!"
The sharpness of her tone silenced any further remon- stration, and after a moment she heard her father scrape back his chair and leave the room. She sighed and leaned against the counter. Poor dad, what a trial she had been to him since she had arrived here. Parents had a right to expect some peace of mind once their children had reached maturity, yet here she was acting like a teenager in a tantrum. But at least her father didn't know the reason for her unhappiness. He probably believed it was still due to her living in Eddlestone; and no doubt he was even now blaming himself for her mood.
Calling his name, she hurried after him and found him halfway up the stairs.
"Yes, lass?"
"I'm not unhappy about living here," she blurted out. "I don't wantyou to think that."
"But you're unhappy about something?"
"It's nothing much. Feminine nonsense really." She forced her voice into a higher key, hoping it would rob it of its flatness. "You know what women are like—up one minute and down the next!"
"Aye, I certainly do."
He continued on his way upstairs and Laura returned to the kitchen. Only ten o'clock. Five more hours before she could be alone in the house and give vent to her misery.
Yet even after her father had departed for the Simpsons' she found it impossible to give way to tears and, dry-eyed and depressed, she wandered from room to room, finally forcing herself to sit down and look with unseeing eyes at the television.
It was a relief when her father called her to say he had been invited to stay on for supper, and assuring him she was fine on her own, she went back into the living room, her body still shaking from the expectancy that the telephone bell had aroused in her. Fool that she was to think it might have been Jake. Hadn't Beth's comment about her niece rushing off to Manchester been sufficient to stop her from thinking his kisses had meant anything other than a momentary passion, caused no doubt by relief that she had not been killed?
She buried her head in her hands. To go from hate to love had been such a sudden swing of mood that she wondered if it was only transient. Perhaps tomorrow she would wake up to find she did not care what he did or with whom he did it.
Yet as she hoped this was true, she knew it w
asn't. Love once given—even though it had been unsought for—could not easily be retrieved. She was in for a rough time, and the quicker she could learn to dislike Jake again, the better for her peace of mind.
CHAPTER SEVEN
On Monday morning it required all Laura's willpower to go to the factory, and she was shaking with nerves as lunchtime drew near. Should she make an excuse to leave the canteen before Jake came in or should she remain and deliberately force herself to serve him? She longed to run away, if only for that day, but knew that if she did, her eventual meeting with him would be all the harder.
Because of this, she greeted him with a cool smile when he finally presented himself in front of her, tray in his hand.
"How are you feeling today?" he inquired. "Haven't lost your nerve for more potholing?"
"Certainly not, "she said.
"Good. I look forward to taking you again. Aside from your nearly killing yourself, it was one of the best days I've spent in a long while." He leaned closer. "Come and join me for a cup of coffee."
"I haven't time." She avoided his eyes. "But I want to thank you for saving my life."
"You've already thanked me… and in a way I'll not forget."
She dug her nails into the palms of her hands, hating him for taunting her in this Way. "I think we… I think we should forget what happened in the cave."
"Why?" He leaned closer, proximity making him look bigger and broader. "Not angry with me because I kissed you, are you?"
"Why should I be?" Mustering all her pride, she gave him a sardonic smile. "Kisses don't mean anything these days."
"I had the feeling mine did, as far as you were concerned."
Conscious of the humorous curve of his mouth, her humiliation was strengthened by anger.
"Don't be naive, Jake. Just because I responded to you doesn't mean anything."
"Doesn't it?"This time he was smiling openly. "Then I'll always know where to come when I want a bit of extra snogging!"
She glared at him. "What a horrible word!"
"How about petting then? Or do you prefer smooching? There are plenty of words to choose from."
"And plenty of other girls for you to choose from, too."
"Meaning?"
"That I'd like you to leave me alone."
"Suits me." With a nod he moved away, and the moment she could, Laura left the cash desk and went to her office.
Her encounter with Jake had shaken her, and it was an effort to get through the rest of the day. But at last the five o'clock hooter sounded and she collected her things and hurried blindly down the corridor.
"Just the girl I want to see!" said Robert, stepping into her path. "I've managed to get tickets for the preview of a new play in Manchester and I'd like to take you."
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
Out of the corner of her eye she glimsped a pair of broad shoulders emerging from the personnel manager's office. The thumping of her heart told her it was Jake, and she made herself speak in a loud and happy voice.
"Sounds lovely, Robert. Honestly, you're the only civilized man around here!"
"I'm glad you finally appreciate my worth!"
Quickly she began to walk again, losing her vitality the moment they were outside the building. She longed to tell Robert she'had changed her mind but knew it was the worst thing for her to do. She must go out often and not give herself time to mope.
In the next few weeks Laura saw Robert nearly every evening, and it was not until Nell Rampton commented on it that she realized everyone in Eddlestone was anticipating their engagement. Faced with increasing gossip on the one hand, or more evenings alone on the other, she did the next best thing possible and, cutting down on her meetings with Robert, started to spend more time with Beth.
What began as a safety measure—for she had considered the woman too old for her to become a close friend- soon developed into a genuine affection, and she found herself happier in Beth's company than in Robert's more demanding one. Only when mention was made of Elaine did she find it difficult to hide her feelings, but sensing Laura did not like her niece, Beth rarely referred to her.
"What's happened to your music society?" Laura asked one evening when she and Beth were coming home from a visit to the cinema.
"We're having a meeting on Sunday. I was going to tell you."
"I might not be able to make it Tim said he might be over for the day."
"Bring him along, too."
"He prefers pop!"
"Then come over when he leaves. We generally go on till midnight."
" I won't promise. It depends what time he goes."
But as usual Tim's stay in Eddlestone was short, and five o'clock saw him speeding away again on his motorbike.
"One day he'll run out of excuses for leaving here early," his father said sourly.
"You can't blame him," Laura said stoutly. "Being with us is a bit like bread and bread!"
"I thought bread was the staff of life?"
"You don't need a staff for support when you're twenty-three!"
"Maybe not." There was a sigh. "What are you going to do with yourself now?"
She hesitated. "Beth's having a musical evening but I'm… I'm a bit tired and I'll stay in."
"Pity. She asked me to come with you."
"You?"
"Why not?"
"No reason at all." Laura was suddenly jubilant. "We'll go as soon as I've changed."
"You've changed your mind, too," he commented with a chuckle. "I'll never get used to the female mind."
"How sensible of you » realize that!"
"I'm a sensible man."
"I know." She bent and kissed the top of his head. "I hope I've inherited some of your sense."
"You have, "he assured her. "Too much of it, I think. I wish you were more romantic."
"About men, you mean?"
He nodded. "It's time you settled down and looked after someone else instead of me."
"I prefer to look after you. I've no intention of being an unpaid housekeeper and bed warmer!"
"Men could say they don't want to be regarded as providers of security," her father rejoined. "And both suppositions are wrong. Most couples marry for much simpler reasons."
"Such as?"
"Love. And that can mean different things depending on your age and wisdom. Passion or companionship— ideally both, of course—and the knowledge that with one particular person you can achieve a communion of feeling that will wipe out all your loneliness."
His voice trailed away and he searched for his tobacco pouch, concentrating on filling his pipe and avoiding his daughter's eyes. Yet he had given away more of himself than he realized, and Laura knew that the years of mourning her mother had passed for him, and that emotions, long dead, were now returning to life, bringing with them the need for all the things he had just mentioned so passionately. Companionship, closeness with a partner, the sharing of mutual pleasures. In the past, work had been enough for him; now he needed more.
"Put on your navy suit," she said. "It makes you look distinguished."
"Slacks and sweater are fine," he replied. "I've no hope of attracting the dolly birds, even if I change clothes!"
"Don't be so sure. Fifty-five is a glamorous age." She saw his expression and said quickly, "I was kidding. You 'll do perfectly in slacks."
So it was that later that evening she and her father sat in Beth's crowded sitting room and listened to Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony. The beauty of the music did much to ease the tension that had now become an accepted part of her life, and as she relaxed in an armchair she felt calmer than she had for a long while.
As the last movement neared its end she slipped quietly into the next room to prepare the tea. Though Beth lived with her brother, one small wing of the house had been made into her own self-contained apartment, giving her the privacy without which she would not have been content to remain so close to him.
Cups and saucers had already been set out in the s
mall but beautifully equipped kitchen, and Laura put on the kettle and removed the tea towels from the plates of sandwiches.
"Need any help?" a gruff voice asked, and she turned to see Jake in the doorway.
"No, thanks." Hiding her trembling hands behind her back, she regarded him with composure. "I didn't know you came to these sessions."
"Music is a passion of mine. I didn't come because I knew you'd be here."
Since this very thought had been uppermost in her mind, she was disconcerted and hoped he did not find it as easy to guess the rest of her thoughts.
"Elaine's in London for a couple of days," he added, "and I was at loose ends. But if my being here upsets you, I'll go."
"Why should it upset me?"
"Because I know I irritate you; and as you have to see me during your work week…"
"You have to see me, too," she reminded him coldly.
"Aye, but I don't take on about things the way you do. Besides, you're easy on the eye and I enjoy looking at you!"
"Really? I was under the impression I left you cold."
She started to swing away from him but he stepped forward and spun her to face him. Before she could stop him he pinned her against the wall and pressed his body close against hers. With every ounce of her strength she fought him, but he was too strong for her and, accepting this, she relaxed completely, hoping he would lessen his grip and afford her a chance to escape. But she had once again forgotten his ability to know what she was thinking, and his hold tightened as he gazed down at her.
"You're not getting away from me so easily," he hissed. "I've had as much as I can take of your supercilious attitude. You enjoyed kissing me before, so why not enjoy it again?"
His head lowered and one of his hands caught her chin, making it impossible for her to turn away. Mesmerized, she stared into his face. His eyes were so close that she saw herself reflected in their pupils, then the image blurred and his lips covered hers. Their pressure was gentle, which surprised her, for she had expected it to be as firm as the body that uncompromisingly rested its length upon her own.
"Kiss me back," he murmured upon her mouth.
She refused to do so and he slowly moved his lips back and forth across her upper lip before tenderly nibbling the lower one. His breath was soft as a butterfly's wing, and she was aware of it only because she felt a change in temperature on her skin. Then his mouth was still, remaining passive upon her own, the weight of it increasing slowly as his demands on her increased.
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