“No. Don’t ask me to do that again. I used the spell out of desperation, and only because I thought I had taken adequate precautions.” He shook his head. “The other mages couldn’t help me as much as I assumed. I almost killed myself trying to contain the power.”
“But you did contain it.”
“Barely. One Above knows what would have happened if I hadn’t.”
“I understand. We’ll just have to figure something else out.”
Krytien sighed. “When do you think they’ll attack again?”
“I don’t know. You’ve given them something to think about, though. They don’t look eager to try again tonight. I’m taking advantage of the time they’re giving us, especially since Jeldor came up with the rest of our forces.” He stood. “Get some rest. We can manage for a little while without you.”
Kaz left, stopping briefly to speak with Wiqua on his way out of the infirmary.
Krytien stared at the ceiling.
Am I ever going to learn my lesson? Or am I destined to keep tempting fate?
He had just started to close his eyes when the Byzernian settled in beside him.
“How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted.” Krytien rested a hand on the old man’s arm. “How are you doing? I’m sorry about Hag.”
“So am I. But it was her time. I just hope she did enough good to outweigh the bad. Underneath that gruff exterior she had a tender heart.” Wiqua cleared his throat. “Now, tell me what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“On the wall. What went wrong?”
Krytien chuckled. “I performed a spell I had no business trying.”
“I disagree.”
“You weren’t there.”
“I didn’t need to be there. I’ve seen you work. I know what you’re capable of.”
“What exactly am I capable of?”
“Anything.”
“You sound like my old master. He swore I had more potential than anyone he’d ever seen.”
“You do.”
“A lot of good that potential does if I keep endangering the lives of others. The spell was too difficult, and it required too much power.”
“Almost all forms of sorcery endanger the lives of others. Even what I do. The spell you performed did not require too much power. You simply introduced too many variables by relying on others rather than yourself.”
“Then why—”
“Stop!” snapped Wiqua.
Krytien blinked. Normally soft-spoken, the old man’s tone took him aback.
Wiqua’s voice softened. “Quit arguing, and listen to me for a moment. Your problem is that these more dangerous spells affect your focus since you know they have a greater risk of harming others. What you need to do is practice something extremely difficult in private, something that will affect no one but yourself. That way the pressure of repeating Asantia, which I know still weighs heavily on you, is not possible.”
“Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it.”
* * *
Elyse stared out from the balcony of the great keep. She looked past the furious activity on the walls where her army worked by torchlight, and focused on the valley that widened toward the enemy’s camp. Thousands of fires, varying in size, shone brightly in the black night. Somewhere among those fires walked a man she thought she would never see again.
You tried to warn me he was still alive, didn’t you Amcaro?
Her skin crawled as she thought of her last meeting with High Mage Nareash.
I wish I could go back and stab something a little more vital than his shoulder.
A knock came at the door.
“Enter,” she called, turning from the view.
Kaz walked in wearing a troubled expression. Still dressed in his armor, he brought with him a smell of musk and death. Elyse wasn’t sure if she had ever seen his shoulders hunched so far forward or his head hung so low.
It’s like he’s carrying a great burden.
He closed the door. “I saw your light was still on.”
“It’s fine,” said Elyse. “Dawn may be only a few hours away, but I won’t sleep tonight.”
“I’m not sure when Nareash will attack again, and I needed to speak with you.”
“About our forces?”
“Actually, about more personal matters.”
Elyse’s breath quickened. Since their kiss a couple weeks ago, they had spoken little except about matters of the army or her kingdom. She had expressed her feelings for Kaz, but a flash of his past had ruined the moment.
“It’s about my memory,” he continued.
Of course that’s what he meant. He wanted to speak in private when we were in Conroy’s dungeon, but then news of the High Pass interrupted us.
Despite all the doubts and questions she had about what Kaz’s memory would mean for her, she managed to put them aside. She went to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to two chairs facing each other in the corner. When settled, she put on her bravest face.
“Tell me.”
Kaz still couldn’t recall everything from his past, and the timeline of certain events became muddled. However, he did remember a great deal of the life he had left behind.
Elyse became overwhelmed with both fear and sorrow. It scared her to know that places in the world existed where young children would be trained and encouraged to do such heinous things as the Kifzo had been forced to. Her fear grew when she thought about the man across from her taking part in those things.
But then she looked past those acts and saw the torment plaguing Kaz. Compassion outweighed her fear.
“I pretended I enjoyed those things. But I never did. Not that it excuses my behavior, but the pressure placed on me to live up to my father’s standard was overwhelming. I should have stood up to him.” Kaz grimaced. “Everything I feared about my past has come true.”
And the knowledge is devastating him.
Elyse hated herself for finding comfort in his devastation because it meant that the knowledge of Kaz’s past would not change the man she loved. Her heart sped at the realization that he wanted no part of his old life.
“Then you’ll just have to stay in Cadonia and create new, better memories.” She thought of the battle before them, and sighed. “Perhaps not right away. But hopefully soon.” She smiled, trying to lighten his mood. Then she pressed further. “Maybe we can create those memories together.”
She waited for a response as the first hints of a false dawn crept into her quarters. Elyse realized they had been speaking for some time.
Kaz closed his eyes, and swallowed. “I can’t stay. I’m sorry. I-I never meant to hurt you, I just didn’t know the truth.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I have a wife,” he whispered, opening his eyes once more.
Her stomach dropped. The room spun.
A wife?
Kaz’s hand reached out to touch hers. “Are you alright?”
She reflexively pulled it away, blinking. “Yes. Of course.” Clearing her throat, she gathered herself and straightened. “So, a wife? What is she like?”
One Above. Why would I ask such a thing?
Kaz gave her a look. “Are you sure you want to know? I thought—”
I can’t take it back now.
“Yes. Please. I’d like to know what the woman who captured your heart is like.”
Kaz opened and closed his mouth without a sound. He nodded. Elyse knew him well enough to see that he tried not to go into too great detail about Lucia. But he didn’t have to. It was plain that his wife meant everything to him.
And nothing will stop him from returning to her.
Despite feeling as though a spear had entered her heart, Elyse managed to hold it together. Kaz had done more for her than she could have ever asked. She would not make him feel guilty for having someone that important in his life.
I only wish I was that someone.
“Have you thought of who shou
ld take over command in your place?” she asked.
Kaz wore a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”
“I assume you’ll want to leave immediately to go to her?”
“But I gave you my word.”
I see the longing in his face, and yet he still feels obligated to me. Or is it guilt for moments we shared that now seem wrong?
“I believe you’ve already fulfilled your word. The rebellion has been put down.”
“But your kingdom isn’t safe.” He paused. “Besides, I can’t go back until I learn what Nareash and thousands of Kifzo are doing here. Something isn’t right. I don’t want to return home blind.” He laughed, but it lacked humor. “And for that matter, I still don’t know how to even get home from here. A victory would benefit both of us. Your kingdom would be safe, and perhaps I can learn how to return to Hesh from one of the Kifzo.”
She did her best to laugh with him, but only managed a thin smile.
They parted awkwardly soon after.
After the door closed, Elyse walked back to the balcony. She stood there thinking until the morning sun bled across the horizon, warming her skin and bathing the valley in crimson and gold. No tears fell, but not from a lack of sadness or sorrow for she had plenty of both.
I’ve wept enough in these last two years for ten lifetimes. I refuse to shed any more tears.
Her body grew stiff, her senses numb, as smoke from the enemy’s cook fires crawled into the sky.
I have no family and no love. Nothing is left but my kingdom. I will not lose that too.
She left the balcony. Lobella would be by soon to help her get ready for the day. She may not be a soldier, but as queen, she had much to do.
* * *
Kaz left Elyse’s quarters carrying a weight of guilt unlike any he had ever known. Any joy that filled him over the returned memories of Lucia also brought him a sense of regret for what might have been with Elyse. In turn, any lingering vision of what he once dreamed of having with Elyse seemed like betrayal to a wife he wanted so desperately to hold again.
The way Elyse hid her obvious pain at the news ate at him in much the same way as thinking about what Lucia must have been going through since his disappearance.
He had tried to soften the news of Lucia to Elyse by first telling her about the atrocities in his youth, hoping that they might repulse her enough to forget any feelings for him.
But she looked past that and wanted to be with me anyway. She saw the real me just as Lucia did.
He loved Elyse for what might have been.
He loved Lucia more for what he once had.
Kaz hated the things he had once done as a Kifzo warrior. The thought of returning to Hesh and facing that life made him sick.
But no one says I have to do those things again. The world is a big place. Bigger than I ever imagined. I’ll take Lucia away from that life. Away from Hesh. And maybe then we can start a family.
Chapter 2
Drake ran his hands over the rough granite of the rust-colored merlons. From the outermost of the three curtain walls defending the High Pass he gazed upon the enemy’s encampment. Densely packed white tents made it look like a cloud had fallen into the valley. Pockets of grey smoke drifted over the tents while black specks hurried about in preparation for the day.
He wondered if the enemy would finally make use of the large siege towers that loomed over the camp.
They used them in the initial assault. Why build the things if they’re just going to sit there?
He shifted, wincing at the deep soreness in his tired limbs.
I wish they’d just send them over now while I have the energy to fight. He grunted. That’s probably the point.
They had been under siege for weeks, killing thousands of the invaders, yet the army looked just as big as it had in the beginning.
He blew out a long sigh.
“What’s eating at you?” asked Raker.
The engineer spat over the side, wiping the spittle from his lip with his empty sleeve. A strong tobacco smell followed the grisly veteran wherever he went.
“Just wondering how long we’ll be able to hold out.”
“As long as we need to, kid.”
“It’s easy to say that, but the reality is that each death affects us more than it does them.”
Raker grunted. “Starting to sound like Senald. I hope you ain’t sharing your thoughts with the men. They don’t need to hear you talk like that.”
“No. I save all my complaining for you.”
The engineer grinned a mouthful of yellowed teeth. “Don’t worry. It’ll even out eventually so long as we keep killing more of them than they do of us.”
Drake wished he could share Raker’s optimism. With the first surge, they nearly lost the fortress. Even with reinforcements coming in, things had looked grim. Drake hated to admit it, but he had thought that day would be his last.
But then it all changed.
The spell Krytien and several of the other mages had managed still gave Drake nightmares. The sorcery had torn men into countless pieces. Once he recovered from the shock of what he had witnessed, he’d hollered in joy during the enemy’s withdrawal until he lost his voice.
Unfortunately, the effort had incapacitated Krytien for several days.
Good thing the enemy didn’t manage to regroup right away.
The invaders had been cautious with their attacks since, probing the fortress’ reinforced defenses rather than chancing another full assault.
“Too bad you and that mage ain’t got anymore of that Nitroglycas. That’d sure make a dent in their numbers,” the engineer muttered.
Drake blinked. “Don’t think Janik and I haven’t thought the same thing. But several of the ingredients are hard to come by. Neither of us can afford to leave and go searching for something we may not find. Krytien ended up taking the other ingredients from us.”
“Why is that?”
“Don’t know. He said he needed them for research.” He sighed. “If we would have known this was waiting for us after Conroy, I might have saved one or two of the clay containers.”
“And that might have cost us that battle. If there’s one thing I’ve learned here in Cadonia, it’s that you can’t think about what might’ve been. If I had talked to someone about what I was feeling after Jonrell died, I might still have my arm.”
“If I had paid attention to Mal, Jonrell might still be alive.”
Raker spat. “And if Amcaro had killed that blasted High Mage out there a long time ago, then I might still be in that bathhouse in Segavona.”
Drake chuckled. “Are you ever going to let that go? It seems like you mention that bathhouse three times a day.”
“No, I ain’t letting it go.” He closed his eyes. “It was just like a dream I had once. Three women. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. All of them gorgeous and all of them shared my bath. It was beautiful.” He opened his eyes and his voice took on a sour note. “And it was all ruined when Kroke dragged me outta there because of this.” He made a coarse gesture toward the enemy’s camp. “I swear, if Nareash ever stops hiding and gets close enough, I’m going to shove a ballista up his rear.”
“And Hezen?”
“What about that whoreson?” Raker growled.
“I figured you were saving a ballista for him too.”
Raker spat. “Nope. For what he did to the Hell Patrol, betraying us, nearly wiping us out in Asantia all those years ago. . . . It’s got to be personal. A lot of good people died on account of him, including Ronav. It’ll be the mace for him.”
* * *
“You still alive?”
Krytien jumped at the voice, unfolding his arms and wheeling to his right. “What?”
Kroke gestured with a knife. “You been staring out there for some time without moving.”
He chuckled. “Just thinking.”
“About Nareash again?”
Krytien nodded. “I just can’t figure it out. He had us in th
at first rush. All he had to do was take the field, and he would have beaten us. But he pulled his men back, and all he’s done is probe. He’s barely allowed his other mages to join the subsequent attacks.”
“I think you gave him something to chew on. That spell you managed with the other mages was the craziest thing I ever saw.”
“And it nearly killed me. If he had come at us then, I would have been useless. It was a desperate move for a desperate situation.” He shook his head, trying to put himself in Nareash’s position. “It doesn’t make sense. Sure, the spell was powerful, but he’s a High Mage. I don’t see how that would have done anything to give him more than a moment’s pause.”
Kroke twirled the blade in his hands. “Don’t sell yourself short. It gave me more than a moment’s pause, and I’m on your side.”
“He must know something that we don’t.”
But what could it be?
“Either that or he just doesn’t want to get his hands dirty again in a fight. He doesn’t have that scepter he used against the other High Mages.”
“Kaz said that Nareash had no issues with getting his hands dirty in Hesh.”
“Yeah, but you weren’t there.”
Krytien cocked his head. “What does that mean?”
Kroke sheathed his blade. “It means High Mage or not, scepter or not, my money is on you.” He slapped Krytien on the back. “I better get back to my post. I’m sure they’ll be coming at us soon enough.”
Krytien turned back out toward the enemy’s camp.
The last High Mage in the world. And he’s here.
He broke out in a cold sweat. Eventually Nareash would make an appearance, and Krytien knew it would fall on him to try to stop the High Mage. Kaz, for all his ingenious strategy and fighting prowess would be helpless against such sorcery.
We all will. Including me.
* * *
Kaz stood on the inner wall of the fortress, looking over a small model of the High Pass, scaled for discussing strategy. He issued orders to Captain Samhan, the original commander of the fortress, and to others, before dismissing everyone to their duties. Yanasi lingered behind.
“Commander, I have an idea I’d like to run past you.”
“Why not mention it before I dismissed the others?”
Trial And Glory (Book 3) Page 2
