“The stories about what happened in last year’s campaign had something to do with it. He believed them to be true.”
“What do you believe?”
“Perhaps there is some truth to them, but I can’t imagine you doing some of the things that are being whispered. It isn’t like you.”
Tobin bunched his shoulders and started pacing again.
“Is it like you?”
Tobin let out a sigh. “The rumors you heard are probably all true. I wiped out an entire village of innocent people in order to incite Charu. I killed Odala and later Charu’s lover with my own hands. I did cruel things that at one point in my life I swore I would never do.” He paused, rubbing his jaw with an open hand. Just like Jober said. “Did you know that Soyjid was a minor shaman?”
Lucia blinked at the sudden change in subject.
“It’s true. Nachun said that he pushed my mind in ways that caused me to act out of character.”
She let out a slow breath, thankful Tobin’s behavior could be easily explained. “Well, that proves you aren’t responsible for those horrible things then.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I gave the commands. I held the blade.” He opened and closed his hands. “I might have continued down that dark path except I started having visions from my childhood I had long forgotten. Those memories have caused me to reexamine my life.”
“What memories?” Lucia asked.
“They are mostly of my mother,” he said solemnly.
“Oh.” She thought of Jober’s story.
Tobin walked over. “What do you know?”
“What?”
“There was something in your voice. Like you know something about her. Did Kaz tell you anything?”
“No. He never spoke of her.”
“Are you sure?” His voice grew accusatory.
“Yes. He became upset whenever I brought her up. After a while, I quit asking.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing,” she said, not wanting to get Jober into more trouble.
Tobin grabbed her by the arm. “Don’t lie to me!”
Lucia winced, looking down at her arm. “You’re hurting me.”
He didn’t let go.
“Please. My arm.”
Tobin’s eyes had glazed over. “You have to tell me,” he begged.
“Jober said that you killed your mother,” Lucia blurted.
His grip relaxed. “Did he tell you how he knows?”
“Yes. Kaz told him that he watched you kill her when you were boys.”
Tobin walked away. “Jober told me the same thing. Did he tell you anything else about Kaz?”
“Nothing that involved you.”
Silence stretched between them.
“Do you believe that I killed my mother?”
“I don’t want to. Is it true?”
“I-I honestly don’t know.” He frowned. “Does that affect your feelings for me?”
Lucia looked down at her still throbbing arm.
Tobin grunted. “I thought so. Kaz could do no wrong in your eyes, but not me. I’d like to think I didn’t kill my mother. But I was a young boy and those memories are too muddled for me to sort out. You may not believe me, but I’m desperately trying to atone for the mistakes I’ve made.” He paused. “Your husband was not perfect. He made more than his own share of mistakes. Did he ever tell you the story about how he became warleader?”
Lucia shook her head. “He didn’t like to talk about his life as a Kifzo. He said it wasn’t who he really was.”
Tobin chuckled. “I’ll disagree. It was at least a part of who he was. When we were much younger, our father sent several of the best Kifzo in training on a mission. The first to complete it would become warleader. Kaz and I reached a set location at approximately the same time. We found out that someone else had accomplished the task first, thereby becoming warleader.
“Kaz would not have that. After the boy refused to give up his right, Kaz had another Kifzo kill him.” Tobin chuckled. Lucia heard the bitterness in it. “Kaz couldn’t even do the deed himself.” He shook his head. “Kaz gained support from the others by allowing them to rape and kill an entire family. I tried to stop it. He and I fought. One of the other Kifzo shot me with an arrow, which gave Kaz the advantage.
“Kaz shattered my ankle in the fight and left me for dead. It took me a week to crawl back to Juanoq. I was fevered and on the brink of death. Would you care to hear more? It’s only the beginning of who Kaz was. What he allowed to happen under his command as warleader. Things he ordered us to do, would give you nightmares. I know because they haunt me to this day.”
“I can’t believe it,” she whispered.
“You just won’t.”
Tears rolled down Lucia’s face. The conviction when he spoke about Kaz rocked her. Jober had spoken just as strongly about Tobin.
Who do I believe? I thought I knew Tobin, but do I really? Does the same go for Kaz?
“What are you thinking about?” asked Tobin.
“That I want to see Jober,” said Lucia.
“Why?”
To ask him about Kaz.
She lied. “To tell him that his family misses him.”
Tobin raised an eyebrow. He walked to his desk, scribbled on a piece of paper, and handed it to Lucia. “This will give you, and you alone, access to Jober at any time.”
“What about his wife and children?”
“No.”
“But they miss him greatly.”
“Then he shouldn’t have tried to kill me.”
* * *
Tobin stared at the door as it closed. She hadn’t even told him goodbye. Of course, he hadn’t made the effort either. Their conversation had been completely unexpected, and he didn’t even know where to begin in making sense of it. So many questions he wanted to ask her. So many things left unsettled that would need decisions later.
I’m going to be a father.
The notion rocked him. Long ago, he had given up on the idea of having a family. Now that the opportunity presented itself, he found no joy in it.
She would rather the child was Kaz’s.
He rubbed his eyes. “We all carry our own regrets, Lucia.”
Are Kaz’s really so different from mine?
He snatched up a cup and threw it across the room. It smashed against the wall, leaving a wet spot as the pieces tumbled to the floor.
He swore, regretting his outburst.
Calm yourself. He clenched his jaw. You almost lost control with her. He recalled the frightened look in Lucia’s eyes when he had allowed his emotions to get the better of him. He cringed and began picking up the broken shards of his cup.
A frantic knock struck the door. “Warleader!”
“Later,” Tobin shouted. “I wish to be alone.”
“Warleader, I have urgent news.”
He went to the door. An out of breath guard bounced up and down in place.
“What is it?”
“Warleader, we just received word from the wall. There’s an army just outside of our towers’ range.”
“Has Walor returned?”
“No, Warleader. The army bears the colors of the Orange, Gray, and Yellow clans.”
* * *
Lucia grabbed one of the palace guards shortly after leaving Tobin’s room. She flashed Tobin’s letter. The man begrudgingly led her through the palace to the dungeons. Still reeling from her conversation, she could not put off seeing Jober. She owed it to Hielle to check in on his condition, and in the end, she had to learn from him why he had attacked Tobin.
The dungeons themselves were better lit and cleaner than she imagined.
The shuffling armor of the guard echoed off the granite walls as they walked. Subconsciously, Lucia’s hands rested on her stomach while she followed.
They stopped at the end of the hall and the guard rapped the hilt of his sword against thick metal bars. Chains clanged in a dark corner. Jober eased into the light, squintin
g. He looked as though he had aged years, face puffy and swollen. The chains grew taught several steps before Jober could reach the bars. He coughed.
“How are Hielle and the children?” he asked.
“They’re fine.”
Jober relaxed.
Lucia turned to the guard. “Why does he look so weak? What is he being fed?”
The guard glared. “What Tobin tells us to give him. Better than he deserves.” He nodded to the letter Lucia still held in one hand. “It says I’m supposed to give you privacy. I’ll be waiting down the hall. Call when you’re ready to leave.”
“Can’t I enter the cell to speak with him?”
“No.” The guard moved away, leaving them alone.
They stared at each other for some time until Jober broke the silence. “Why are you here?”
“Why am I here?” snapped Lucia. “I’m here because of you. Why are you here? What were you thinking trying to kill Tobin?”
Jober hung his head. “You don’t understand. I had to try. I couldn’t imagine you living your life with that animal.”
“That’s not a decision for you to make. This is my life, not yours.”
“Kaz would have wanted me to do it.”
“Kaz would not have wanted you to risk the lives of your family.” She thought about what Tobin had told her earlier.
At least I think.
She pushed aside those thoughts. “How would you know anyway what he would or wouldn’t want?”
“I told you we were friends.”
“As boys, yes. But until he disappeared, you worked in the stables.”
“How do you think I got that job? He secured it for me when no one would hire me after the lies Bazraki started. He also made sure I had enough money to buy a piece of land after Hielle and I married. We rarely had a chance to talk, but our friendship never died.” He paused. “You were everything to him. All that mattered in his life. I know he would not have wanted you to be with Tobin. That’s why I was so angry when I discovered what you had done.”
“You’ve been my bodyguard, my friend, for over two years. Why are you just now telling me this?”
Jober tried to peer down the hall, but his chains would not allow him to.
“Is it because of Tobin?” she asked.
He nodded. “And Nachun. I didn’t know what they would do to my family if they thought I was causing trouble.”
“So you tried to kill Tobin? Your logic astounds me.”
Jober shrugged.
“I told him what you said about his mother. That Kaz said Tobin had killed her.”
“What? How could you do that? He wasn’t supposed to know that you knew . . .”
“He didn’t deny it,” said Lucia. “He didn’t confirm it either. He can’t fully recall what happened to her.”
Jober spat. “I don’t believe it.”
She recalled the look in Tobin’s eye and the force he used when he grabbed her arm.
But then he gave me access to Jober. Why would he do that if he was trying to hide something?
She shook her head. “He admitted that he’s done evil things in the past, but he is also trying to be something better now.”
Jober snorted. “He’s manipulating you.”
“Maybe.” She paused. “You said that your friendship with Kaz never ended.”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how he became warleader?”
A moment of silence stretched. “Yes.”
“How?”
“He won the position after completing a test devised by his uncle and father.”
“Tobin told me some of the details around that test.” She relayed the facts. “Are those true?”
Jober looked away. “It isn’t that simple . . .”
“Do not treat me like a child! I can see that you know the truth. It happened as Tobin said it did, didn’t it?”
Jober swallowed. “Yes,” he whispered.
A sob caught in Lucia’s throat.
Jober looked up. “You have to understand the situation he was in. He didn’t enjoy what he did. It was something he had to do. Believe me.”
Lucia slowly shook her head and turned away from Jober. She ran down the corridor, ignoring Jober’s pleas to come back so that he might explain. She sprinted past the guard, ignoring his questions as well. She had to get away.
Kaz, how could you? You killed one of your own. You let a family be abused and murdered. And then Tobin? Your own brother!
* * *
Jober sat in the corner of his cell, palms in his eyes. His body ached. His mind swam after his conversation with Lucia.
All I ever tried to do was the right thing.
He had turned his back on Kaz to save his family, and when his guilt could no longer tolerate it, he tried to right his mistake by killing Tobin.
Not only did I fail, but I made matters worse. I betrayed Kaz again.
He thought of that night in the palace’s lower level when he and Tobin had fought. And Kaz disappeared.
Tobin wanted to kill me then, but Nachun wouldn’t let him. It would have been better for everyone if he had. My family would be safe, and Lucia would be oblivious to the truth. He chuckled. The truth? She doesn’t even know the half of it.
He rubbed his face thinking about what he would say if he ever saw her again.
* * *
Tobin stood at the top of Juanoq’s wide walls, looking over the moat and past the defensive towers scattered in the cleared land outside the city. A hundred feet up, a warm breeze danced across the ramparts. He took in the scene before him without having to turn his head. Thousands of warriors from other tribes set up camp just past the range of the city’s towers. He noted members from the Orange Desert Clan and Yellow Plain Clan. However, the bulk of the warriors consisted of the Gray Marsh Clan.
Just when I thought I could do some good.
“Have we had contact with them yet?” he asked.
“We’re working on that now, Warleader,” answered one of his captains.
Messengers ran between the towers, working their way slowly toward the city’s gates. They lowered the drawbridge to allow a man entrance. A short while later, the messenger came to halt beside Tobin, huffing for air.
He bowed. “Warleader, I have been inside the army’s camp.”
“Who commands?”
“Mawkuk.”
Tobin’s eyes widened. He had not expected men to follow him again.
Though with Soyjid dead, who else would they turn to?
“What does he want?”
“We are to open the city’s gates and allow them entrance. We are to pay restitution for the lives lost by all three clans due to the aggressions of the Blue Island Clan. Afterward, you are to surrender your life to Mawkuk.”
Shouts of outrage erupted along the wall.
Tobin silenced them with a raised hand. “What else?”
“Durahn is allied with Mawkuk. He is to immediately take control of both the Blue and Orange Clans as part of the condition of our surrender.”
Durahn. I ended up repeating Kaz’s mistake anyway. I waited too long to deal with him.
“And I assume that if we deny their terms, they plan to take the city from us by force.”
“Yes, Warleader.” The messenger bowed.
More shouts of anger rang in Tobin’s ears.
“Attack, Warleader. We can take them.”
Tobin glanced around at the men. Most were either members of the watch or part of the regular army. Few Kifzo were among them, his best having gone off with Nachun, and the remainder with Walor’s army.
He sorely missed Walor. A good leader and more importantly a good friend. Both of which I could use right now. Where are you?
Tobin hadn’t received an update in months.
Surely Mawkuk couldn’t have defeated him. He must have cut them off or at least delayed them. Is he betting everything on one chance to take the city before Walor flanks him?
Tobin laughe
d as he thought about the city’s defenses. Though he had a weakened force manning the walls, Mawkuk did not have the time, manpower, or weapons necessary to take Juanoq.
The challenge ahead lifted his spirits. His blood began to race with excitement as he forgot about the stresses of his earlier conversation with Lucia.
“We will not attack. There is no need to waste lives. My father built Juanoq’s defenses for a reason. We‘ll watch them die throwing themselves at us.”
A turmoil of emotions coursed through his body—the want of peace, and the desire for war.
“Warleader, should I send a response back to Mawkuk?”
He grinned. “No. Return to your tower. He’ll figure things out. In the meantime, we have work to do.”
Chapter 20
Yanasi smiled as the private saluted her and left. With the war over and her resignation handed in, she no longer commanded the hundreds of men she once had. Yet, they still treated her as their captain, saluting, asking for advice, and even bringing her meals as she waited at the edge of camp for Rygar scouting ahead as they returned to Lyrosene.
She took a bite of hard cheese as Rygar cut through a copse of pines, entering the wide road. He galloped toward camp with such urgency she thought something wrong until she noticed his bright smile.
Rygar jumped down as the horse came to a halt.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“I have some potentially great news that I think you’ll be interested in. Kroke, and probably Elyse too.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I’m kind of hungry. Some of that cheese might do me some good before—”
Yanasi punched him in the arm.
“Alright. It’s about Cassus.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “What is it?”
“There’s this story that came in from the coast a few weeks back that’s spreading like fire, almost as fast as news of the war.”
“What happened?”
“Well, it’s hard to get the full story since it’s already grown to legendary proportions . . .”
“Just tell me what you know.”
“Essentially, the Byzernians staged an uprising on a slave ship owned by a big-time trader named Melchizan.”
Yanasi’s eyes widened.
“Yes, that one. But don’t worry, all reports say he’s dead for sure this time. The Byzernians actually won. And from what I’ve heard, their plan is to free every slave still residing on Mytarcis.”
Trial And Glory (Book 3) Page 23