“It’s pretty crazy. Also, I feel like kids run into plenty of shitty adults along the way, so if I can be a good adult in their life, that has to count for something.”
“It does. I—my mom and I fought a lot about her being my constant shadow, but I think about how my experience would have been if she’d just dropped me off at high school when I was seven and just walked away.”
“She went to school with you?”
“Yep. Right up through med school. She sat behind me or beside me every day. For a long time, I thought she just didn’t trust me.”
“She didn’t trust anyone with her baby.”
“Sure didn’t. To say I can relate is an understatement. I want to protect them all the time.”
“You always will. Hope doesn’t leave for college for a year and I’m already praying she picks a local school. And she’s not even my kid.”
“She and Gracie are lucky to have you.”
“Yeah, I love those little punks.”
The waitress arrived with their massive steaks and topped off their drinks. They both ate in silence for a few moments. She didn’t want to get ahead of herself, but so far this was a pretty perfect first date.
“I like being with you,” she confessed.
“I like being with you.” Rafe reached over and took her hand, reducing Sloan to a puddle of gush and feels when he brushed his lips across her fingers. She knew it was way too soon to make the call, but she had a feeling that Rafe Whitcomb was a real keeper.
14
Something was off with Rafe when he woke up the next morning. His date with Sloan had been exactly what he’d wanted. A quiet night out, just the two of them. Good food, open and honest conversation. After he’d paid the bill, Sloan said she wanted to go to the beach. They drove to Venice and walked down the paths, away from the booths and vendors.
Rafe had looked at the lights in the distance from the pier and, for a moment, considered how much his life had changed since the first time he set foot on the same beach. He’d spent more time thinking about how good it felt to be there with Sloan under his arm. When they got back to the house, they had sex on the living room floor on top of one of the dozens of fluffy-ass blankets that Sloan kept around the house.
They’d ended up in Sloan’s bed, where she fell asleep in his arms. After listening to her snore for a good hour, Rafe called it a night himself, drifting off with her soft body pressed against him. When they woke up, neither of them were in a hurry to get out of bed. Rafe would make them waffles when they got their asses in gear and made their way downstairs, but for now chilling in Sloan’s bedroom and watching British cooking shows was perfectly fine by him.
For some reason, though, Rafe couldn’t stop thinking about how they were running out of time. A little more than twenty-fours and they would have to get back to pretending there was nothing romantic going on between them. He actually missed the girls. The house wasn’t the same without them. He missed their energy, their never-ending questions and their attempts at silly jokes, but the moment they popped into his head, all Rafe could think about was their asshole father, Drew. There was a line between what was now his business and what was for Sloan to keep to herself, but she and her kids mattered to him now in a different way and there was something about that that was just digging at him.
“I’ll be right back. Tell me if I miss the judging for the tarts.” Sloan hopped up and went to her closet. She came back out wearing a thin, silk night thing that made her tits look amazing before she slipped into the bathroom. Rafe grabbed the remote and hit pause. He was rooting for the young Irish kid to win the whole thing, but that didn’t matter at the moment. Sloan came out of the bathroom, lotioning her hands.
“Oh, you paused it. Thank you.” She flopped back down on the bed, but Rafe didn’t hit play.
“Can I ask you something?”
Sloan sat up and moved, so she was facing him with her legs crossed. “Sure, what’s up? Is everything okay?”
“I was wondering what happened between you and Drew”
“Like all of it or why did we split up?”
“Why did you split up, with a side of as much as you want to tell me.”
“He cheated, but that was the other shoe. When we met, he had so much more professional experience. He was older, cooler. His private practice was finally doing well. I think he saw me as someone he could mold and control, and also be his arm candy. But when I refused to come work for him, he started gaslighting me. Everything I did would have been better if I’d done it with him.
“When I started pushing back, he started saying that I was selfish because I wasn’t using my talents to help build his practice. It was hard enough being a very young Black woman trying to get respect in her field—that’s still hard, but then to get that shit from him at home? It messed with my head a lot.
“When I got pregnant with the girls, he was...kinder, for a little while. When I was, like, six months along, he casually mentioned how happy he was that things were ‘working out’. He thought, or he’d hoped, I was going to give up medicine to stay home with them, which I had no plan to do. We fought about that a lot. And when I went back to work, he strayed. To her credit, the woman he cheated with felt bad. She told me everything. I think she was trying to save our family, but I don’t know—to me that was like my way out. I knew I was done. I just didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t love him anymore.
“The fun part about having kids with your ex is that you can never shake them. Leaving Seattle has helped a lot. I’ve never been happier. The sunshine helps too, but I feel like I can breathe here and I don’t have to worry about seeing him a few times a week. Now I’m just hoping he falls into a sinkhole and I never have to deal with him again.”
“But he’s okay with the girls?”
“Yeah, he’s fine,” she said, waving him off. “He loves them, in his own arrogant way. His mother does most of the parenting when they’re with him. Part of the reason I didn’t fight for full custody is because Susan is a good grandmother and they like being with her.”
“Did he ever put his hands on you?”
“No. He didn’t, but I can tell you want to beat his ass and I appreciate it. What’s on your mind?”
“A couple things.” Rafe reached up and let the side of his knuckle trail down her neck. Sloan leaned into his touch.
“Care to tell me?”
“I was thinking about how I feel about you.”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m thinking about how hard it’s going to be for me when the girls get back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just thinking about how long it’s going to be before I accidentally touch you or fuck up, and kiss you goodnight in front of them.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that too.”
“And I’m thinking about where the line is with me and Drew.”
“Yeah, that too. With him, I’ll—I’ll let you know. You and I are together. I just want you to worry about us. All of my feelings for Drew involve regret and time wasted. It’s not a situation where I see us as this family that could have had it all if something had just been different. I can’t stand his ass in a real way. But I can handle him. And I’m not saying that like I don’t want you to care.”
“I know.”
“I just—I can handle him. But the girls are a different story.”
“This is your call because they’re your children, but when we go to my parents’ tonight and when you meet my friends, I want to introduce you as my girlfriend. I don’t want to pretend we’re just friends and I sure as fuck don’t want to spend the whole night telling myself I can’t touch you or kiss you.”
“I’d like that.” Sloan leaned forward and kissed him, but the soft smile on her lips faded as fast as it appeared. “When the girls get home tomorrow, I’ll talk to them. Or we can talk to them together, tell them we’ve initiated—” Sloan cut herself off.
“What?”
“I was going to say that we’re initiating step one of the new daddy plan, but I think that might give them the wrong impression. Not to say—”
“No, I get it. We’re not exactly sure where this is going, so we can’t tell them it’s headed that way.”
Rafe hated this part of the dating game, where one or both parties held shit back, or took too much care in tiptoeing around certain things so they didn’t scare the other person off. Rafe knew that what he was feeling for Sloan was intense. He also knew he could already see a future with her, but she was right. It was too soon to be talking about forever.
“We can tell them that we like each other and that we don’t know what will happen, but we’ll keep them in the loop. And then we can brace ourselves for fifty follow-up questions.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’ll steer the conversation from there.” Sloan chuckled and slid her hand over his stomach. His abs tensed under her touch as a rush of warmth flooded his body. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I want you. In my life.”
“I feel the same way.”
“Good—” Sloan’s stomach let out the loudest growl.
“You hungry there, champ?”
“Apparently.”
“Come on. I’ll make you breakfast while we see who’s gonna take home this week’s star baker.”
Rafe had never wanted to pat himself on the back harder and with more relief and satisfaction than he did after he introduced Sloan to the rest of his family. Before they left the house, he pulled up their family text stream.
Sloan and I are on our way.
We’ve decided to give a relationship a try.
Direct all audience questions to me.
Thank you.
Then he set his phone to Do Not Disturb and drove himself and Sloan across town to his parents’ house. When they got there, Gracie was bouncing off the walls and couldn’t help but mention to Sloan that she had already suggested that Rafe marry her. She was glad they were at least getting the ball rolling. After Gracie escaped from the headlock Rafe put her in, he took Sloan into the house to introduced her to his dad and Hope.
Immediately Monica put Sloan to work assembling skewers and Joe sent Rafe to help their elderly neighbor Mrs. Davis change a lightbulb in her garage. When he got back from Mrs. Davis’s, both his parents shot him looks that made it clear he had an earingful coming his way, but for the time being, they just let him and Sloan enjoy the block party.
Finally they helped themselves to the first round of burgers and chicken skewers off the grill and then they joined Gracie and Hope on the porch. The neighbor’s son Darius had set up his speakers on the other side of street, blasting 70’s and 80’s R&B classics, which had Monica two-stepping in front of the grill. BBQing with his family and neighbors, hanging out with his sisters, listening to Monica laugh with her friends—they’d been here dozens of times before, but it was different having Sloan with him this time.
Rafe felt different. He sat back, hiding the smile that wanted to plaster itself across his cheeks as he watched Sloan with Gracie and Hope talking her head off. Hope’s cell phone appeared in front of Rafe’s face. He leaned back and looked at a red carpet photo of a beautiful Asian woman and an average-looking White dude.
“You have to follow this site,” Gracie said. “They post all of her outfits. WhatNadiWore.com.”
“I love that dress,” Sloan said with a dramatic sigh.
Rafe took the phone and looked closer before handing it back. “Who are these people?”
“Nadia Chau and her new husband, Prince James. They had, like, the biggest wedding of the decade. Where were you?”
“He was probably asleep,” Hope said. “The wedding came on at four a.m.. You know her, Rafe. She’s on Galaxis.”
“Ah, okay,” Rafe remembered her when Hope dropped the reference. She’d made him binge watch three seasons of Galaxis for a short story she was writing for her friends. On the show, Nadia wore a ton of make-up to make her look like an alien. He remembered the weekend they got married too. The female members of the Baker family were all about it, but he’d had that Saturday off and gone for a ride up the coast with the boys. Clearly he’d made a mistake and missed out on the wedding to end all weddings.
“I woke up to watch it,” Sloan said with a chuckle. “Totally worth it.”
Rafe took the phone back and looked at the photograph a little harder. “Oh okay. She looks different in this picture. Couldn’t pick him out of a line up.”
“I can’t imagine marrying a prince,” Gracie said.
“That’s a hard no for me,” Hope agreed. “I don’t like having my picture taken like that.”
“Yeah, you do!” Gracie leaned over and snapped a selfie of them both. Rafe looked up as their father came out of the house, his keys jingling in his hand. He tapped Rafe on the shoulder, then pointed to his pick-up truck parked at the curb.
“I’m gonna run and get some more ice. Come on.”
Rafe stood and turned to Sloan. “The store is just around the corner. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ve missed at least the last four months worth of Nadia’s outfits. That should keep me busy.”
“Dad, can you get me some Skittles?” Gracie asked.
“Oh yeah. Double the Skittles?” Hope added.
“Double the Skittles. Let’s go.”
The whole way to the store, his dad told him about the issues he was having with some of the guys on his crew at the airport. Aircraft maintenance was no joke. When they pulled into the parking lot, his dad put his truck in park and things took a fucking turn.
“So, she’s the one?” Joe said, all casual like.
“Whoa! What the hell? It’s been, like, an hour,” Rafe replied. Yeah, he was falling pretty hard for Sloan, but that was his business and he didn’t need his dad calling him out like that.
“And you brought her home. The last girl you let hang out with your sisters was Kelly. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at her all day. You can’t fool me, boy. I know what it’s like.”
“Of course I like her. I said that last week. We’re together. I want you guys to get to know her. There’s a leap between all that and her being the one.”
“So, it hasn’t crossed your mind?”
“I—” Rafe couldn’t deny it. He’d thought about all kinds of shit, including what it would mean. He’d been thinking about it ever since Avery tossed the Dad grenade. He looked out the window and scrubbed his hand through his beard. Joe went on.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you didn’t tell her you could only stay on to the end of the year.”
“No, I did not.”
“So, are you staying on for her or the kids?”
Rafe sighed and pressed his head back into the headrest. “I don’t know, Dad. Both? They’re good kids. She’s an amazing woman.”
“You know you can keep dating her and not watch her kids.”
“I know.”
“I’m not saying you have to up and quit. I’m just thinking back to the beginning of the summer when you sat there on my couch and told me you were done. You said you wanted to move on and I know you didn’t have a solid plan, but I also know you give a lot of yourself. I thought you were ready to give something else a go.”
“Yeah.”
“You hear me, Rafael?”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“You can go back to school. You can go work for your Uncle Nick at the shop. You can still do whatever you want.”
“I think I just didn’t want to move to Australia. Moving on to a different family is one thing. I couldn’t uproot myself and I didn’t want to miss Hope’s senior year.”
“I’m not saying any of this because of Sloan. She’s a great girl. Monica loves her and Hope took to her right away. Gracie wants to move in with her. And you know I’m never going to complain about you dating a doctor. You’ve just been doing a lot for other families for a long time
, and yeah you were paid for it, but your time and your dreams are important too. I—I know a lot of that blame falls on me.”
Rafe turned and looked at his dad. “What are you talking about? I don’t blame you. What would I have to blame you for?”
“I could have made you go back to school. I coulda—”
“Dad. I fucked up. I could have gone back to school, but I chickened out.”
“Yeah, well you wouldn’t have been in that situation if I hadn’t—”
“If you hadn’t moved us out here. Yeah I know, but I don’t see it that way. Do you think I wish we were back in Woburn? Cause I don’t. I didn’t start fucking up when we moved out here. I had just been fucking up in a familiar place with cops who didn’t give a shit what White boys were doing.”
“Yeah,” Joe said quietly. Sure, things changed when they came to the West coast, but there wasn’t some magical life Rafe was missing out on three thousand miles away. He’d tracked down old friends from his junior high school. He knew what they were up to and he knew he wasn’t missing out on a damn thing. Sure as fuck, nothing he would trade Monica and his sisters for. Nothing he would trade Sloan and her girls for either.
“Stop beating yourself up,” he said to his dad. “I hear you and I will tell Sloan if and when I’m ready to move on to something else. I won’t spring it on her and I won’t keep it all in until it turns into resentment or something worse. Do I have some shit to figure out? Yeah. But right now, this is what I want.”
“Good. I just know love can make you do crazy shit sometimes.”
“Like buy a lifetime supply of Brita filters?”
“Hey, you make fun, but look at my skin.” Some of the redness on his dad’s face had gone away. “I look forty again.”
“Let’s not get carried away now.”
“We need bags of ice and some Skittles.”
RAFE: A Buff Male Nanny (Loose Ends Book 1) Page 16
