by Desiree Holt
She was both bereft and relieved when Alex pulled away from her. In the next moment, he was unfastening the manacles and helping her off the spanking bench. He guided her to the bed and urged her onto it.
“Knees,” he ordered.
She obediently dropped to her hands and knees, quivering with the eagerness of what was coming next. Pillows slid beneath her to prop her in place. Foil crinkled, then he was kneeling behind her and his latex coated shaft was probing at the entrance to her cunt. Hands gripped her hot buttocks, pinching the places she knew were striped as Alex pushed steadily into her wet tunnel. Between the plug and his cock she was incredibly full, incredibly stretched. And her clit begged for attention.
Alex leaned forward and licked her spine. “I know you want me to touch that hot little button, but I think this time I’ll make you do it. Touch yourself, Elizabeth. Stroke your clit. Now. Do it.”
She slipped one hand past the pillows between her thighs and found the throbbing nub. With a sigh of relief, she rubbed it with two fingers, stroking, stroking, as Alex began to fuck her harder and harder. He worked one hand beneath her to grab the chain linking the nipple clamps, pulling on it with each thrust of his shaft. More, more, more. Harder, harder, harder.
“Not yet,” he warned. “I’ll tell you when.”
Liz had to grit her teeth to hold back, but Alex was in control here. At exactly the moment, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to hold off anymore, he shouted, “Now!”
Yanking harder on the chain, he drove into her, his hand tightening on her hips, his body stiffening. Liz exploded as he poured his release into her, every muscle and nerve in her body dancing, clenching, spasming, while the walls of her pussy milked his cock.
At last, he released the chain and fell forward on her, catching his weight on his hands. They stayed there in that position, slick skin glued to slick skin, lungs dragging for air, hearts thundering, for what seemed forever to Liz. Finally Alex withdrew from her body and stood. She heard him move around to dispose of the condom, then felt his hands at her ass, removing the plug. And finally he helped her off the bed and onto her feet. He removed the nipple clamps with practiced care, laving each bud with his tongue as pain shot through them.
He lifted his head and smiled at her. “Very good. Very, very good.”
“Thank you, Sir,” she breathed.
“The thanks are all mine.” He brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “Dress now.”
They dressed in silence, Liz’s mind spinning with thoughts she could hardly grab onto. She was positive Alex would bring up dinner again. He wasn’t a man to let things go by the wayside. Should she tell him now? Stop seeing him? Pretend nothing existed except the two of them at Rawhide.
Fully dressed, she gathered her purse and took a deep breath. Maybe he wouldn’t bring it up again.
But then his hands were on her shoulders, one moving to cup her chin and force her to lift her eyes and look at him.
“Stay and have a drink with me, Liz. One drink. Please.” His eyes, now a hot, bright blue, lasered her with a hungry look.
She wrenched her gaze from his. “I…no. Thank you, but no.”
“Liz.” His hand still held her jaw, and he brushed his lips against hers, a light caress.
“What do you want from me?” she cried.
“I think you know what I want,” he said in his soft drawl. “We have the magic here at Rawhide. I believe it can work for us beyond the club. I think you do, too, whether you admit it or not. Why won’t you give it a chance? Tell me what the problem is?”
For a moment she was tempted to let it all out. Tell him her devastating story.
No. He’ll realize how pathetic you are, and then you’ll have nothing with him at all.
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
She ran for the door, pulled it open and raced down the hall. In the lounge, she ran smack into Reece.
“Liz? What’s the matter?” His eyes narrowed. “Did something go wrong in the playroom?”
She shook her head. “No. No, no, no. Please let me go. Please.”
She jerked away from him and ran for the front door, not stopping until she was in her truck and pulling out of the parking lot. Her heart was racing so fast she was sure it would beat out of her chest.
Well, she’d probably done it now. Ruined everything. Maybe it was no more than she deserved. Why had she ever thought when she started this that she could just dip her toes in the water again and walk away barely damp? Especially with Alex Wright.
Falling into subspace was her favorite release from the iron control she had to maintain everywhere else in her life. And she’d craved it all the time she denied herself. What she hadn’t counted on was meeting Alex Wright and losing her heart to him.
Now she was in big, big trouble and turning her life into one big pretzel.
Chapter Nine
Alex wondered if he would hear from Liz again. Contrary to everything he practiced he’d put himself out there where she was concerned. Now he felt a reversal of their roles, a switch where she held all the cards.
He wouldn’t call her. Couldn’t call her. This had to be her decision. But shit, the waiting seemed endless. Thank god there was plenty of work to do at the ranch.
The Running W spread wasn’t as large as either his brother-in-law’s or the Hallidays’, but it was still considered large with a good-sized head of cattle. And that meant there was always something to keep him occupied.
For one thing, it was time to cull the calves from their mamas and move them to a separate pasture. The unrelenting sun and lack of a breeze made it hot, sweaty, tiring work, but it was just the kind he needed. He was up every morning with the hands, working until nearly dark to accomplish the task. Then he showered, swallowed a sandwich and poured himself a drink.
And that in itself showed the state he was in. He seldom drank by himself. He had the occasional bottle of beer with his foreman and maybe some of the hands, or a drink when he was out socially. But liquor had never been his thing. He’d always been afraid it would erode his self-control in some way. But right now that control was badly frayed.
Where was Alex Wright, the man always in charge?
The first time he met Liz, he thought what a great playmate she’d make. If she was into his lifestyle. But that was all.
Yet somehow she’d pierced the armor he was so proud of, the thing he’d thought was so much a part of his personality. Now he could barely eat or sleep or work without images of her creeping into his thoughts. He wanted her. Needed her. And he might as well admit that he wanted it forever.
But the next step would have to be hers if this was going to work between them. The waiting, however, was driving him nuts. He didn’t want to enlist the Hallidays again, but pretty soon he’d be reduced to resorting to anything.
Alex stared at the calendar on the wall. One more day. He’d give her another day to reach out to him. Then he’d have to do something or lose his mind.
****
For three days, Liz dragged herself through her chores, trying to blank her mind, shut out the conflicting feelings bombarding her. But every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Alex’s face. And when she crawled into bed at night, the memory of his hands on her, the arousal he created with the flogger and the paddle, the feel of his thick cock inside her while he tugged on the nipple clamp chain left her restless and edgy.
Why couldn’t it be just about the sex? Why did messy emotions have to creep into things? Liz wasn’t sure which bothered her more. That Alex wanted to pursue a relationship or that she had fallen so hard for him.
She was more than grateful when, on Saturday, Trish’s mother brought her for her session. She didn’t think she’d be able to face Alex right now. Or maybe ever. Only how did she prevent him from showing up at the Lucky L when Trish Stanton was there working her horse? Or avoid him in Boerne, where you could drive the length of Main Street in five minutes? Or at any events they were both liable to attend?
Late Saturday, she called Rawhide and left a message that she wouldn’t be there that night and to please let Alex Wright know he shouldn’t expect her. She’d thought about just not showing up but realized she at least needed to make the call.
Sundays were always busy at the Lucky L. They were booked with people who couldn’t come for training during the week and with visitors looking over the facilities.
“You need a vacation, Liz,” Scotty told her in a low voice when he ran into her in the main barn. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you look as if you’ve been rode hard and put away wet.”
She sighed. “I’m fine, Scotty. Really. Just not sleeping too well.”
He studied her for a long moment. “I know it’s not my place to say this, but you run a hell of a great place here. You should cut yourself some slack. Get a life for yourself. It’s not against the law.”
“I’m okay,” she protested. “And I do have a social life.”
“I don’t mean lunches with Katie Halliday. You’re a fine looking woman, Liz Gillibrand. If I was twenty years younger I might take a run at you myself.”
Liz stared at him. “Excuse me?”
Scotty laughed. “Just a comment. Don’t take offense. But you’ve got a lot to give some lucky bastard. I just hope one comes along soon.”
It was hard not to be flattered by Scotty’s remarks, but it still didn’t address her problem. She craved Alex Wright, and she was afraid to give in to the craving. Was she being a coward? Was it time to take a chance again? Her head ached with all the questions bouncing around inside it.
She deliberately stayed away from Rawhide all week, avoiding Alex’s calls by the simple expedient of letting the answering machine pick up at the house and the calls on her cell go to voice mail. She was hiding and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to find a solution to her problem.
When Katie called on Wednesday to invite her to dinner on Saturday, her friend refused to take no for an answer.
“You’ve been avoiding everyone for a week,” Katie pointed out. “Reece has a cattleman’s association meeting. We can stuff ourselves with forbidden food and indulge in some girl talk.”
“Oh, Katie, I don’t know if—”
“No excuses. Seven o’clock or I’ll come to your house and make a stink. Your employees would just love that, wouldn’t they?”
So reluctantly, she finished her work on Saturday, took a long hot shower, and dressed in a pair of her comfy jeans and a T-shirt. Pulling her hair into a ponytail she swiped gloss over her lips, picked up her purse and keys and headed for what she was sure would turn into a lecture. On the drive to the Halliday ranch, she rehearsed all the things she would say to Katie to explain why she wasn’t going to see Alex anymore. By the time she pulled into the turnaround in front of the house, she had her resolutions firmly in place.
But it wasn’t Katie who opened the door. Instead, she was shocked to see Alex, in tight jeans and a knit collared shirt that showed every sexy line of his body. Liz stood rooted to the spot, stunned and speechless.
Alex reached for her hand and tugged her into the house. “Don’t be mad at Katie and Reece. I made a pest of myself, and I think they said yes just to shut me up.”
“Yes?” Liz frowned, still trying to gather her wits together. “About what?”
“About being alone with you outside of Rawhide.” He was drawing her further into the house, and she seemed powerless to resist. “You wouldn’t answer my calls, wouldn’t come to the club. I was going nuts.”
She realized they were in the great room, the lamps turned down low and music playing softly from the built-in speakers. Her eyes tracked around the room, spotting a tray on the coffee table with wine in a cooler and two glasses, and a tray of cheese and crackers next to it. She started to back away, but Alex held firmly to her hand.
“No. I’m not letting you run away this time.” He put her purse and keys on a side table and grabbed her other hand, turning her to face him. “I don’t know what this is between us, Liz, but it’s damn sure more than some hot D/s play. And I want to pursue it. To see if it’s what I think it is.”
Her stomach knotted. “And if it isn’t? You just walk off into the sunset? Thanks for the ride?”
“You might be the one to do the walking,” he pointed out. “But I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Either way.” She tried to pull her hands away, but he tightened his hold on them. “At least sit down and talk to me.” He grinned. “I’d hate to waste such good wine.” He brushed his lips over hers. “Half an hour, Liz. Tell me what’s wrong. If we can’t resolve this I promise, I’ll back off. Please.”
Liz worried her bottom lip, her body and her emotions in a tailspin. Just the touch of his hand heated her entire body. And something else, deep inside her, was clawing to get out.
Take a chance, Liz.
She heard Katie’s words in her head, sighed, and nodded. Maybe it was time to unload her baggage. If Alex wasn’t serious about this and he dumped her, at least maybe she’d be ready when someone else came along.
But she sure hoped it didn’t turn out that way, because she couldn’t deny her feelings for him any longer.
“All right. I guess at the very least I owe you an explanation. Then we’ll see.”
He smiled at her with a mixture of relief and heat, threaded his fingers through her hair to hold her head in place and kissed her with a hunger that burned through her body. His tongue was a live wire, washing fire over every interior surface of her mouth, jolting her clear down to her now pulsating cunt. Oh, god, how quickly she melted into him, heart pounding, body crying out for him.
He kissed her and kissed her until she had no breath left and didn’t care. She held onto his wrists for dear life, anchoring herself. She was so lost, drifting on an erotic current that swept away reason. When he lifted his mouth from hers, her head was swimming and her bones had turned to liquid.
“Now that’s the reaction I was looking for.” Alex’s voice was low, his drawl as thick as sorghum. “I think a little wine is in order.” He kissed her eyelids and her cheeks, then took her hand and led her unresistingly to the couch.
She was still trying to pull her scattered wits together when she found a full wine glass in her hands. Alex touched his to hers gently, the sound a faint chime.
“To us,” he said. “I hope.”
Liz sipped at the amber liquid, taking her time to collect herself. Her first instinct—to run like hell—didn’t seem to be an option anymore. Alex took one of her hands in his, his thumb caressing the knuckle, then lifted it to his mouth and licked it gently. Shivers skated down her spine. When he dropped her hand and sat back on the couch, she felt as if something vital was missing.
“Let me start this,” he said. “We’re great at Rawhide. Incredible. You don’t need me to tell you that. But Liz, you’re an extraordinary woman who appeals to me on every level. I want more with you. I want to strengthen this connection that I know you feel, too. And I don’t believe it’s just the so-called keeping up appearances for your workers that’s holding you back. If you don’t share my feelings, tell me now and we’ll be done. But if you do, I want to know what’s going on here.”
Liz took a healthy swallow of wine, needing the liquid courage. She’d gotten herself into this corner. Now she had to decide if she wanted out or not.
Just let it out. If he’s insulted, so be it. If he runs, he runs. But right now, you’re only hiding from yourself.
She dropped her gaze to her hands, hyperaware of his fingers at her nape, stroking, soothing, feeling the infinite patience in his posture. She drained her glass and held it out for a refill.
Alex chuffed a little laugh. “Is it so bad you have to get drunk to tell me?”
“Maybe.” She still didn’t look at him. She waited until he’d poured more of the amber liquid into the goblet, opened her mouth, and just let it all roll out. Every pitiful detail. All of her humiliation.
When she finished
she waited for him to say something, but he was silent, his fingers still stroking, easing. She was almost afraid to look at him. Just at the moment when she was ready to jerk away and head for the door, he took her wine glass from her fingers and set it on the table. Then, effortlessly, he lifted and settled her on his lap, trailing kisses over her cheekbones, her jawline, down the column of her neck. The knot in the pit of her stomach slowly eased, and she found herself leaning into him.
When he spoke, his voice sounded harsh, but his anger was obviously not directed at her.
“If I ever meet that asshole, he’ll be lucky if there’s enough left of him to pick up with a towel.” He nibbled her ear lobe. “Men like that aren’t…really men. They’re cowards who get their power from abusing others.” He cupped her chin and turned her face, forcing her to look at him. “If I thought you really believed I could do that to you I’d be even angrier, but I’m going to assume you’re just in self-protection mode.”
Liz nodded, unable to say anything.
Alex cleared his throat. “So I’m going to say this and hope you believe me. From the minute I met you, I wanted you, but not as just a fling. A toy. I could sense your depth as a person and felt a connection I’ve never felt with anyone else. I can’t promise you nothing will ever go wrong, Liz, but I can promise you, I’ll do my damndest to prevent it. I want a future with you, one in which we’re equals every place except the bedroom. Are you willing to take a chance on that?”
She drew in a very shaky breath and let it out. “Yes. I want that, too.”
There. She’d said it.
“Good. Then I have a suggestion. If you don’t want to go to your place yet, don’t want the staff to see my car parked there, will you come home with me?”
Okay, here was her next big decision. If they were truly going to have a relationship, she couldn’t hide it. And couldn’t be bullied by the people looking for a chink in her armor. Katie had said it. If they didn’t like it, if they gave her trouble, well, she’d just fire them and hire someone else. Suddenly, it all seemed so simple. She took the leap, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d feared.
