His baby Sky was adorable. She looked just like her daddy, but had blonde hair. Was her mom blonde? How had she died?
And I hated to admit it, but Mónica had been right about him—he was hot. Gorgeous, even. Ugh, I should not be thinking about my future boss like that. His dark hair, his piercing blue eyes, and the sexy scruff hiding his chiseled face. And that was just his face. His body was ripped. I had tried not to stare at his tattooed bicep. When I hugged him, I couldn’t help but melt into his rock-hard chest. But even if I wasn’t his nanny, he was way out of my league. I pictured his wife to have been some tall gorgeous, classy blonde, with bouncy golden curls and killer legs. In other words, nothing like me.
That must’ve been why he chose me—I must be her complete opposite. I was sure he wasn’t remotely attracted to me. Which was a good thing since he would be my boss.
All that mattered was that I had a job!
I burst back through my door, and the scent of burnt toast immediately overtook my nostrils.
Great, Mama was home.
I didn’t want to tell her about the job. Not yet. Not until I knew for certain that I had it. If I told her now, she would try to sabotage it, because she needed me to take care of the girls. And even though she didn’t watch them, she didn’t want us to move. She needed the girls so she could continue to get money from the government. Mama’s greatest fear was that I would get a job, get custody of the girls, and leave her. Then she would have no money, no place to live, and no one to make her food. It would serve her right.
“¿Dónde estabas?” she barked at me, the thick stench of cheap liquor still on her breath.
“None of your business. Where were you? You didn’t even come home last night.”
Her eyes fell on the enchiladas. “Why are you bringing my food to another house when we are starving? And why are you wearing my nice dress? Were you with a man?”
I forced myself not to explode at her. “No, Mama. I’m not like you.”
Her hand lifted, and before I could duck, her hardened palm slapped against my cheek. “Don’t talk like that to me, Paloma. I am your mother. I would never talk to my Mama the way you speak to me.”
I pressed my hand against my cheek to ease the sting. “Yeah, well I wouldn’t either. Abuela was a good mother. You are cruel and selfish. I wish you had died instead of her!”
The second those words left my mouth, I regretted them. Not because I hadn’t meant them, because I had. But I shouldn’t have stooped to my Mama’s level. After twenty years of emotional abuse and neglect, I was a wreck. I needed to get away from living with her before I lost my mind.
But first, I needed to use her abuse as a way to get what I wanted.
“I don’t feel safe here anymore. I’m going to take the girls tonight to stay for a few weeks at Tío José’s. If you argue with me, then I’ll press charges because you just hit me. Your choice.”
My mama looked away from me. “You can go. I don’t want you here anyway.”
Good. Step one went off without a hitch, unless you counted me getting slapped. Now I just needed her to sign over custody. I placed the enchiladas down and went to get the girls from our room.
Mónica greeted me at the door.
“Did you get it?”
I placed a finger over her mouth and closed the door.
Once safely inside, I whispered, “I think so! He said he would like to offer me the job and would call me!”
“Oh my God! Lo! You did it! When do you start? Do you really think he’s going to hire you?”
I nodded. Even Ana María started jumping up and down, though I wondered if she understood what we were talking about, and how this job would change our lives.
I glanced around our small room. We all slept together on a queen mattress without a frame. But we had dressed it up with homemade pillows, and I had made sure to secure a Princess Elena blanket over the border so Ana María would have something special. But even her pretty blanket couldn’t brighten up this dump. With linoleum floors, cracked walls, and one bathroom for the four of us, I would be embarrassed if Beckett ever saw where we lived. But I was grateful to have a roof over our heads.
I wondered what Beckett’s home was like. I had been on the base once with my uncle, who had been a maintenance man there before he had been fired. I remembered thinking that the officers’ homes seemed so grand. I bet the kitchen had new appliances. I couldn’t wait to cook in it, and to take Sky to the base park. Was this really happening to me? Why was I afraid that tomorrow he would call and let me know he had found someone else?
But even if he kept his word and gave me this job, getting through the next ten weeks would be brutal. Especially for my sisters. My uncle would definitely agree to watch them, but he was an alcoholic. And Beck had said that I’d be off work every day in the afternoon, so I was hoping I’d be able to pick the girls up from school and be with them until they went to sleep. And honestly, what other choice did I have? They couldn’t stay with my mother because she often didn’t come home. It was only for ten weeks. They would be fine for ten weeks. That had to be.
Mónica grasped my hands. “So, then what? After the ten weeks, we can move to San Diego? How are you going to get Mama to sign over custody?”
My heart dropped. I prayed this wouldn’t blow up in my face. My Mama could screw this entire thing up. If she found out about the job, she would embarrass me and show up at Beck’s house. And Beck definitely wouldn’t want my mother around his daughter. But I had to put on a brave face for Mónica. “Whoa. No cantes victoria todavía. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I haven’t even started the job. He could call tomorrow and say he changed his mind.”
Her face dropped. In a way, she needed this more than I did. I had already lived two years of my adult life like this. Mónica wouldn’t tolerate it. The second she turned eighteen she would flee this town, any way she could, whether it was on the back of a motorcycle or hitching to San Diego. My sister was not the type of girl to stay here and tough it out.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go eat. I brought back the rest of the enchiladas. And remember, don’t tell Mama. I will deal with her when I start the job.”
I opened the door, expecting to find Mama scarfing down the food, but instead, she had vanished again. Fine by me. I was pretty sure she didn’t like my sass, but her moods no longer concerned me.
I plated the enchiladas for Ana María and Mónica, and we sat down around the kitchen table.
I hadn’t said grace since my abuela died, but tonight I wanted to. To honor her. To honor the gift of this job. To honor the food on our table.
“Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.”
Mónica gave me a quizzical look but didn’t question me. “Amen.”
“Amen.” Sweet Ana María looked so adorable clasping her hands. A chill passed through me. What if something happened to the girls while I was at work? Would they be okay?
They had to be okay. Had to be. This had to work. But I couldn’t stop thinking of all the ways this could go tragically wrong.
Mónica scooped a big bite of the enchiladas. “These are so good. Definitely why he hired you. And, of course, because you look sexy in that dress.”
I shook my head, completely in denial of what I had felt during the interview. He was so ridiculously hot, looked like he walked off a movie set. But his tone with me was serious and his eyes looked sad. But at least a couple of times during the interview, I could swear he was attracted to me. The way his eyes lingered on my body when I first walked in, how hard he embraced me back when we hugged. But that was probably wishful thinking. “No, it was nothing like that. He did ask me if I had a boyfriend but made it clear to me that he didn’t even want to be my friend. I mean, his wife died last year. It’s all so sad. He seems like a really good man.”
A good man. Those words hung heavy on my lips. What was a good man? Did I even know
? Had I even met one? My uncle was a hard worker, had provided for his family, and had been faithful to my aunt, but he fell apart when he has lost his job. Became a nasty drunk and my aunt left him. Now, he was even more of a mess. And in his drunken stupors, he was violent. He had once choked my aunt.
“Was he hot?”
I exhaled. I didn’t want to tell Mónica how sexy Beckett was, how once during the interview I became entranced with his eyes. But I had no one else to confide in but her. “Yes, Mónica, he was. So gorgeous. He was over six feet tall with the most incredible body, and had the most beautiful sky-blue eyes. But I could tell he had a bad boy streak in him. I mean, his arm had a bunch of tattoos. And he smelled so good.”
Mónica squealed like the schoolgirl that she was. “Damn, girl. Forget working for him. Marry him. Does he have a brother?”
I eyed her. In my dreams. Though I had vowed not to even consider dating seriously until I had a college degree, could support myself and my sisters, and was stable, a man like Beck seemed completely unattainable.
“Ay, Mónica, you’re crazy. I’m not going to marry him. He’s my boss. He wouldn’t hit on me anyway. I highly doubt I’m his type. His daughter has white-blonde hair. I’m sure his wife was some gorgeous rich, educated classy woman. And she just died a year ago.”
But at some point, he would move on, right? I couldn’t imagine a man as sexy as him being single forever. “Even when he’s finally ready to date again, I highly doubt that he would be interested in some poor chica from El Centro. And by that time, we will be in San Diego starting our new lives. He’s a Blue Angel. He can get any woman he wants. The prettiest girls in the world.”
Ana María finally seemed to comprehend our conversation. “You are the prettiest girl, Lo.”
I leaned over and kissed her forehead. She was so sweet. She deserved a great childhood. A princess room instead of a cheap blanket. I bet Sky had the best nursery. Probably with one of those plush cribs from Pottery Barn and designer baby dresses. I tried not to be jealous, but sometimes I couldn’t help it. Why did some people have so much when I had so little?
Mónica pinched me. “All I’m saying is that it could happen. Just like The Sound of Music. We could be like the Von Trapp family.”
I laughed. “Yeah, but I can’t carry a tune. You are silly. Get your head out of the clouds. Best case scenario, I truly get this job, and we take the money and start over in San Diego. We can have a good life and make something of ourselves. But I promise you—I’m not going to fall in love with my super-hot boss. I want him to respect me, not see me as some girl who would use sex to get money. It would be gross, because he’s paying me. I want to teach you girls your own self-worth. That you have something to offer the world besides your body.”
And I meant every word I said. Maybe one day, after we had moved to San Diego, I would meet a nice man who would treat me right and accept my sisters as part of his family. But until then, I would happily remain single.
We spent the next hour actually enjoying ourselves. Laughing, fantasizing about our new lives in San Diego. Mónica dreamed of working in a clothing store to get discounts and spending her weekends hanging out at the beach. And Ana María wanted to take dance lessons and learn how to ride a bike. Those little things in life that most people took for granted would be huge for us.
I cleared the table and Mónica started doing the dishes. Then, my phone beeped.
Mónica and I shared a glance, and we ran over to it. She grabbed my phone first, but I stole it out of her hands.
My heart skipped when I read the text from a phone number with an 850 area code.
Paloma, this is Beckett. I enjoyed meeting you tonight and loved the delicious enchiladas you cooked. I already checked your references. Your teacher couldn’t say enough good things about you. Sky is a bit restless, and I have to report to base early tomorrow for a meeting with the Captain. Is there any way you could start tonight?
Chapter Four
Cold Pizza
I looked out the window for Paloma. I had texted her an hour ago, and she still hadn’t arrived. To be fair, I had asked her to come over at the last minute. But she had been so eager for this job, her tardiness shocked me. I had already notified the security guard at the gate to allow her on base. What was the holdup?
My fingers shook, and I knocked back another shot of whiskey. I hated to admit I was nervous. I had not spent any time alone with another woman since Catherine died. Yes, Paloma was my employee but having her in our home felt illicit. This home had been my little slice of paradise in the desert, my home with Catherine. Her presence still lingered in the air, and I wanted to keep her to myself just a little while longer. Every day without her felt a little more final.
Sky had finally fallen asleep, but I knew she would be up in a few hours. I could always get her back to sleep, but I really needed a good night’s rest. I started flying again tomorrow.
I grabbed the final slice of pizza from the box on the counter. It was cold, but it didn’t matter. Though it was filling, it didn’t satisfy me. I was craving more of the enchiladas Paloma had made earlier.
I glanced down at my phone and saw a message.
Paloma: I’m here. I didn’t want to knock or ring the doorbell.
What the hell? I hadn’t heard a car drive up.
I peeked past the curtain, and Paloma eagerly waved back at me.
I opened the door.
“Sorry it took so long for me to get here. I had to drop my sisters off at my uncle’s place and then walk back here.”
Walk?
Dammit, I hadn’t even realized she didn’t have a car. I looked down at her worn tennis shoes. Man, was I so entitled that it had never crossed my mind that this poor girl had probably walked four miles today to come to this interview, go home, and come back? “No worries. I’m sorry. I should’ve offered to pick you up. You shouldn’t be walking alone at night. I assumed you had a car.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. It’s okay, though. I like walking. But I do have my driver’s license in case you need me to take Sky to appointments. I took driver’s education in high school. Got an A.”
The excellent driver without a vehicle. And my rich ass owned four. Granted, one was Catherine’s, but I also had a truck, a sports car, and an SUV.
Paloma’s hair shone in the moonlight, and I couldn’t help but notice again how beautiful she was. Her lips were naturally pouty, and her breasts were full. I fought off my desire. Maybe I should’ve hired an old grandma type to watch Sky.
“Come in.”
“Thank you, sir.” She walked through the doorway, clutching a small duffel bag, and fidgeted. Her nice dress from earlier was gone, and now she was wearing a grey T-shirt and black pants, which hung low on her hips. Based on the high school graduation date on her résumé, Paloma had to be around twenty. My mind flashed back to what my life had been like eight years ago when I had been her age. I studied hard during the week at Annapolis and partied harder on the weekends. My parents had given me a car for my high school graduation and always sent me spending money in addition to my salary from the Navy. I never had to work for food. I guess I never considered how good I had it.
“Paloma, my men call me sir. As I said in the interview, you can call me Beck. Mi casa es su casa. That’s about the only Spanish I know—I took Latin in high school and Arabic in college. You are my employee, but I want you to be comfortable here. After all, you are watching the most important person in my life.”
“Yes, sir, I mean, Beck. Sorry, that will take a while to get used to.”
I smirked. Did she see me as some old guy? “I’m not that much older than you. I’m twenty-eight. How old are you? Twenty-one?”
“Twenty. I’ll be twenty-one in October. It’s just . . . you’re my boss. You already said that you had no interest in being my friend, which I totally understand, so ‘sir’ keeps it professional for me.”
Man, I must’ve come off like an asshole. Profes
sional was one thing, but I didn’t need to act like a dick. I’d been so wrapped up in my grief that I hadn’t interacted with another woman alone outside of work. This was supremely awkward. “I did say that. I meant that you are my daughter’s nanny and our relationship should be about her. We won’t be socializing together alone as adults. But, of course, I want you to be comfortable, and if you need anything, like a ride, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here for you. Let me show you to your room.
She nodded and quietly followed me to the guest bedroom. Catherine had decorated it last year. It was simple and feminine. Just a bed, a desk, and a dresser.
But one look at Paloma’s beaming face and I realized that my version of simple was her version of luxurious. “This is so beautiful! I’ve never had a real bed.”
This girl was blowing my mind. “Glad you like it.”
“I love it.” She dropped her duffel bag and sat on the edge of the bed. I noticed her eyes were tearing up. I had been burying my own emotions for so long, I blinked hard to prevent myself from tearing up also.
Man, this was intense. And it was only the first night.
I had an overwhelming desire to help her. To change this girl’s life. After ten weeks of working for me, she would have enough money to move away, attend college, and support herself. If she was as hard of a worker as she claimed, I bet she would be successful. This job could be life-changing for her. And it would all be because of Catherine’s wishes. Catherine’s legacy.
Sky let out a soft cry. Perfect timing, because I wanted to show Paloma everything before I went to sleep. She followed me to Sky’s room, and I scooped my angel up.
Sky greeted me with a coo and a stretch, and my heart melted. At nine months old, she was so innocent and sweet. But I was racked with guilt thinking about how I could never give her the life she deserved. A life with a mother who loved her.
“She’s so precious! Can I hold her?”
“Of course.” I handed Paloma my daughter. Paloma’s face lit up, and Sky smiled. A sharp pang hit my chest. It killed me to see another woman hold my daughter. My last memory of Catherine was her holding Sky one final time. One final kiss before she was taken away from me.
Blue Sky (Blue Devils Book 1) Page 3
