Funny, I’ve never heard anything about you. I wanted to scream, yell at Beck, run back into my bedroom like an insolent teenager. “It’s Paloma, like Picasso.”
“Well, isn’t that a pretty name,” she said with a thick southern twang. “What a beautiful baby. Cutie, just like her daddy.” She pointed at Beck. “Can I hold her?”
“Sure.” I handed Sky to Laurel, and the baby immediately started crying.
Laurel held Sky at an arm’s length, as if she had never held a baby before.
I took a big step backward and shot a hurt look at Beck. His mouth gaped, and his brow was furrowed. Was he shocked also?
No. It wasn’t that. He was probably ashamed of me. It was one thing to kiss me in his truck when the world couldn’t see, it was another thing to tell his rich friends that he was slumming with the nanny.
My cheeks burned with shame and my body felt impossibly hot. I needed to get out of there before I embarrassed myself and Beck.
He and his friends would probably laugh tonight about the poor Mexican girl who fell in love with her boss. How delusional and pathetic I was to ever think I had a chance with this Blue Devil.
I looked back at Laurel, who was now holding Sky closer. As if on cue, Sky spit up all over her. Curdled milk and strained peas stained her dress.
That’s my girl.
Round one.
Sky: 1 Laurel: 0
Mónica let out a laugh. I turned to her and gave her another dirty look.
“Oh my. She must be ill. Here, take her.”
Laurel handed Sky back to me.
“Beck, may I use your bathroom to freshen up?”
“Sure, it’s down the hall.”
I grabbed Sky and took off as fast as I could to her room.
How had I been so wrong? I had been sure that Beck had been falling for me. After our kiss under the stars last night, I had felt something. A connection. A spark. I had been certain he had felt it too. His face lit up when he saw me, and he no longer asked me to leave every afternoon, so he could be alone with Sky. He had finally opened up to me about his marriage. I had never felt closer to anyone as I had to Beck last night.
But I was naïve. A man like Beck could never love a woman like me. I came from the wrong side the tracks. He belonged at a country club, and the only way I would gain entrance to one would be through the door marked “employees only.”
When he was finally ready to move on from Catherine, he would marry someone like Laurel, not me.
I placed Sky carefully on the changing table. But before I could stop myself, I started crying. The sobs came, and I couldn’t stop them. I changed her as quickly as possible and lifted her up, then sat in the rocking chair.
The door opened, and I was horrified to see Beck standing there, watching me.
“Lo, can we talk?”
I shook my head and kept it tilted downward. I didn’t want to talk to him and I refused to let him see my tear-stained cheeks.
He came closer toward me. “Look, I had no idea Britney was bringing her sister. Laurel is just up here visiting. There is nothing going on between me and her. This is a work function, not a date.”
Sure looks like a date to me.
I choked back my sobs and tried to calm my breathing. I didn’t want his pity.
I forced myself to speak. “It’s fine. Go, have fun. She’s really pretty.”
He was now standing above me and sat on the bench next to the rocking chair. He brushed back a lock of my hair. “She’s not as pretty as you.”
Wait, what? “Beck, that’s not funny. Please stop flirting with me. I know you don’t mean it. I’m sure you just got caught up in the moment last night. And it’s okay. I can’t help how I feel about you. I get it—you’re some gorgeous rock star pilot, and I’m just the nanny. I’m sorry about my behavior. I won’t let it interfere with my job. Please, just leave me alone.”
But he didn’t leave. His hand brushed against my cheek, cupping it.
“Lo, I’m crazy about you, too.”
My heart fluttered, and I wanted to pinch myself. Was this really happening?
He leaned in closer to me and my heart leapt. Was he going to kiss me again? The first kiss could’ve just been written off as a moment of passion, but a second kiss couldn’t be ignored.
I lowered Sky into the crib and leaned toward Beck. Our lips were as close as could be without touching. I looked up at him one more time. This couldn’t be happening. I felt like in a second, his friends would open the door and laugh at me, like this was a cruel joke.
But no one opened the door.
This was so wrong. He was my boss. I was his nanny.
Then why did it feel so right.
I couldn’t catch my breath. Nerves, excitement, dreams pent up in my body. His eyelids closed and our lips met in perfect, forbidden bliss. He pulled me closer to him, and the kiss turned from sweet to hungry.
¡Ay, Dios mío!
I kissed him back. He tasted like salt and lime and lust, and I wanted to drink him in like a margarita.
He finally pulled away and I opened my eyes. He had a devilish grin, and I didn’t see a hint of regret in his eyes.
But had these kisses ruined this job which was the only good thing that had ever happened to me?
“We can’t keep doing this,” I said.
“Yes, we can. And I plan to do it again. I’ve got to go. But wait up for me. I’ll get out of there as soon as I can. And Paloma, you are way more to me than just the nanny.”
Then he kissed his daughter’s head.
And with that, he walked out of the room, leaving me counting the minutes until he returned.
Chapter Sixteen
Canapés
I licked my lips, savoring the taste of Paloma. She was even sweeter than I had imagined. Our kisses had been everything that I had fantasized they would be—innocent, warm, loving, yet passionate, and hopefully a hint of what was to come.
“Bye, girls.”
Mónica shot me a dirty look, probably suspicious of Laurel, but Ana María ran over and gave me a hug. A lump grew in my throat. I was not only crazy about Paloma, but I adored her sisters. My new life as the lone male living with four women felt right. It had only been a few weeks since Paloma and her sisters moved in, but I already couldn’t imagine living without them.
Laurel waited for me by the door. Her perfume overpowered me, and I couldn’t help but think about how different she was from Paloma. My stomach tightened with guilt. I didn’t want to go out tonight, especially with Laurel. But I didn’t have a choice. As I had told Paloma, this was a work function, not a date.
Laurel touched my uniform. “Beck, that baby of yours is so cute. I’m so sorry she’s feeling sick.”
“She wasn’t sick earlier. She had just tried peas for the first time.”
“Oh. I don’t know anything about babies. But I could learn.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and make a smartass remark. I didn’t care if she knew anything about babies or not. I had no desire to date her.
I only wanted Paloma.
We all climbed into Charlie’s SUV and to my dismay, Laurel sat in the middle seat right next to me.
Ah, hell. I didn’t want to be rude to her, but the only woman on my mind was Paloma.
“So Beck. Your nanny seems nice. I think she has a crush on you,” she teased.
I didn’t appreciate her passive aggressive way of trying to find out what was going on with me and Paloma. I fought the urge to tell Laurel that the crush was mutual, that my lips were still burning from Paloma’s heat, that I wanted to fuck the shit out of my nanny. But I didn’t want to start any gossip.
“She’s an amazing woman. I have never met anyone like her. She has such a positive attitude even though she’s had a rough life.”
Her face contorted, and I could see that my response didn’t satisfy Laurel. “Well, she must be special. So, who’s going to watch Sky when you go back to Pensacola?”
With any luck, Paloma will come with me.
Man, was I being interrogated? I was done with this conversation. “I’m just taking everything day by day.” I turned my head and looked out of the window. Thankfully, Charlie arrived at the banquet hall. Good, time to get this event started so I could get back home to Paloma.
I exited the vehicle and didn’t even bother opening Laurel’s door. I wanted to make it clear now that this wasn’t a date.
We entered the banquet hall which was decked out. There was a ridiculous ice sculpture in the center of the room, expensive linens and designer silverware on each table, and elaborate flower arrangements adorned every corner.
In the past, Catherine and I would appreciate the elaborate set up. But now, it seemed gaudy. All this wasted money, especially knowing that many of the residents of this town were hungry.
For some reason, I thought that I would be the one to show Paloma a whole new way of life. But she was the one who was opening my eyes up to the world.
I greeted our fellow pilots. Sawyer was flirting with tall redhead and Declan was nursing his drink while making small talk with the commander’s wife. Yup, another fun night.
I walked over to a table of food and grabbed a plate. But nothing excited my taste buds. The spread consisted of smoked salmon on cucumber slices, shrimp on rice crackers, caviar on puff pastries, and sausage stuffed mushrooms.
I would rather be home feasting on one of Paloma’s meals.
Hell, I’d rather be feasting on her.
I quickly said hi to the commander and engaged in thrilling small talk about the weather. Luckily, another pilot stole him away from me.
Laurel walked up to me. “Do you want to dance?”
I winced. I didn’t want to turn her down, but I didn’t want to lead her on either. “I’m really not in the mood, Laurel. It’s nothing personal.”
Her face tensed up and she bit her lower lip. She gave me an understanding nod and then walked away.
Great now I had hurt her feelings.
I needed some air. I stepped outside the building, hoping I would be alone, but within minutes I saw Charlie exit the building.
He walked over to me and put his hand on my back. “You okay, man?”
“Yup.”
“No, seriously. I know you miss Catherine. Hell, we all do. She was a great woman. But she would want you to be happy. Laurel has always had a crush on you. I know she’s coming on strong, but she’s a great girl. I think she’s just nervous.”
Maybe I was wrong about Charlie. Unlike Sawyer and Declan, Charlie appeared to be stable. And he was right—Catherine would want me to be happy also. She had even told me that before she died.
“I appreciate that, but I’m just not ready yet,” I lied. I was ready. I would never stop loving my wife. But my feelings for Paloma were strong. They were real.
Charlie looked me straight in the eye. “It’s the nanny, right? You’re fucking the nanny? Hell, I don’t blame you. She’s fine as fuck. I’d love to be livin’ la vida loca with her. But it’s a rebound dude. Don’t fall in love with the help.”
My chest constricted, and I had to force myself to unclench my fist. I wanted to deck the motherfucker, but I was in uniform outside an officer party for the Angels. I wouldn’t risk my career over his stupidity.
“Don’t ever talk about her like that again, got it? She’s not some fetish. She’s honestly the sweetest, kindest, most selfless woman I have ever met.”
His eyes bulged. “Wow, you are already whipped. She must be incredible in the sack.”
Fuck my career. I raised my fist and clocked him in the jaw. “I warned you, dude.”
I gazed toward the banquet hall. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the night snacking on canapés while schmoozing with a bunch of pretentious assholes who didn’t have a clue how good they had it. After only a few weeks living with Paloma, my entire world view had changed. Yes, my wife died, and I’d miss her until my last breath. But I had a great life. I was blessed. I had a beautiful daughter and my dream career. I was financially stable, had every opportunity for my future and had traveled the world. Paloma had never even seen the ocean.
“Give my regards to the CO, your wife, and her sister. I’m going home.”
He rubbed his jaw. “Dude, I’m sorry. Just come in. I didn’t know you were serious about her. It was a joke.”
“It’s fine, man. I just want to be alone.”
“At least let me give you a ride. You didn’t even bring your own car.”
Give me a ride? I remembered the first night that I hired Paloma, how she had walked miles to get to her job. At night. Alone. An attractive woman. I was a fucking man. A goddamn United States Blue Angel. My entitled ass drove a half a mile daily from my home on the base to the hangar. I had no idea what it was like to wear threadbare clothes and have worn shoes a size too small. And I never ever suffered from hunger. Hell, I wasted food before I met her.
“It’s a beautiful night—I’m going to walk.”
Walk straight home to Paloma. And kiss her until the dawn broke.
Chapter Seventeen
Flan
After I got the girls to sleep, I paced in the living room. God, what had just happened? Beck had kissed me again. Once could’ve been an accident but twice now meant that the first kiss hadn’t just been in a fleeting moment.
But now, everything was so confusing. He was my boss. Not that he took advantage of me, hell no. I wanted that kiss probably more than he had. But even so, it was wrong. It was distracting. I had to stop this now. Before it got out of hand.
It was only nine o’clock and I didn’t expect him home for a few hours. He was probably dancing the night away with beautiful Laurel. Maybe he was kissing her? He probably only kissed me because he was horny and thought I was easy. From all the men I had seen around my mother, I realized that men didn’t have many standards. They were happy with any warm body. Or even a cold one for that matter.
To distract myself, I decided to make some flan. It was so easy to cook and the girls loved it. It was also soft enough that Sky could try it. I started adding sugar and a tablespoon of water to a pan and placing it on the stove until it reached the desired dark color. Once it had, I removed the pan from the heat and scooped the hardened sugar into a pie pan. Then, I mixed eggs, La Lechera Condensed Milk, Media Crema, a can of evaporated milk, and some vanilla. Once blended, I poured this mixture into the mold, filled a baking pan with water, and baked it at 350 degrees for an hour.
But Beck still wasn’t home yet.
I was about to scour the kitchen counters as a way to deal with my anxiety. But the door opened, and Beck stood there with a sheepish grin.
I opened my mouth to tell him all the ways that these kisses were wrong. To tell him all the reasons why this could never work. All the reasons why no matter how much I wanted him, nothing would come from these kisses but heartbreak. Especially mine.
But no words came out of my mouth. Instead, my weak heart ran to him like a scene from a movie, and before I could come to my senses his lips covered mine.
But this time, we didn’t stop at a kiss. A hunger that I didn’t know existed in me exploded. Beck scooped me up in his arms and carried me to his bedroom, a room I had only briefly been in, as I had tried desperately to respect his privacy.
He gently laid me down in his big king size bed. I was drunk on his scent.
“Wait, Beck. Is the event over?”
“No,” he said in between kisses. “I just couldn’t wait to be with you any longer. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
I wanted to get lost in the moment, lost in him, and turn off my brain.
But I had never been one to get lost in the moment. I prided myself on being the sensible one, the responsible one.
“But, we should stop. I’m your nanny.”
He laughed. “No, you’re Sky’s nanny. You’re my woman.”
But for once my mom had saved me. She had lured him back to her room. The one thing I’d say for her, is that she never allowed us to get abused.
My hand reached for the shiny gold buckle on his belt. As I tried to undo it, he stopped me.
“No, tonight is all about you. Let me worship you,” he said as he continued to kiss me.
Worship me? I tensed up. The thought of having pleasurable sex was foreign to me. I’d had sex before, but honestly, I had never really enjoyed it. And I had never been in love with my partner.
He finally pulled away from my lips. “Are you okay? Look, if you want me to stop, say the word and I will never touch you again. But don’t back out because you’re scared. I give you my word that I won’t hurt you.”
I wanted to believe every word he said. But how could what he just said be true? Of course he would hurt me. He was leaving next month to go to Pensacola and fly around the country, and I would move to San Diego. His wife died just last year. Was I the first woman he had kissed since she passed? For some reason I thought I was. I was clearly a rebound. An amazing man like him would never get serious with the nanny. This was a fairy tale. And no matter how much I had prayed that they were when I was Ana María’s age, I knew fairy tales weren’t real.
But I didn’t want my dream to die. I wanted to drown in his kisses, live in his world, and believe for once in my own happy ending.
“I’ve never been better. And no, I don’t want you to stop. I want to kiss you forever.”
Joy flooded my body. I wanted him, I needed him.
Blue Sky (Blue Devils Book 1) Page 9
