by Robin Kaye
“Kendall, you need to talk to him. I understand why you ran—I do. Getting hurt so soon after dealing with what David put you through, well, that’s a normal knee-jerk reaction. But this guy is the real deal, and except for his full name, it sounds as if he told you the truth. You have to at least give him the chance to explain. Can you imagine what’s it’s like to be him, to know what he used to be capable of and have that gift taken away?”
Yeah, she could imagine. Hadn’t this whole thing with David made her question her own ability as a therapist? Jax’s situation was so much worse. He didn’t have to question it; he knew he’d lost it. The only question was how much of what he’d lost he might regain. Knowing who he was and what he did for a living, well, she could understand his wanting to keep the result of his injury to himself. He controlled billions of dollars of other people’s money—their life savings. If word got out, he could lose millions. “You can’t tell anyone about Jax’s problem, Erin. Please. I just realized what it could mean to him and his company.”
“Of course I won’t say anything to anyone. Besides, I’m sure he has very capable people working for him. Are you going to talk to him?”
“Do I have much choice?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jax Sullivan had billions of dollars under management, and felt like a recalcitrant twelve-year-old who had been driven home and sent to his room.
Unfortunately, he was too sick to do anything but suffer in silence. It turned out that when one tossed one’s cookies soon after taking pain meds, the chances are pretty damn good those pain meds went out with the rest of the stomach contents. He wasn’t sure that was the case. Since he couldn’t pinpoint the amount of time between ingestion and expulsion, there was no way to really know. Which was why any sane person, even one in terrible pain who had just lost the love of his life, was stuck waiting for the phone alarm to tell him it was safe to remedicate.
After the first real dose, he slept, and now he waited for the third. It had been ten hours since Kendall left him. Ten hours was a really long time.
For the first time since his accident, the thought of being completely drugged out was a relief. For too short a time, he couldn’t think about Kendall and wonder where she was, he couldn’t recall the look on her face when she’d read his name off that damn prescription bottle, and he was able to erase the expression of sheer disbelief in her eyes when he told her he loved her.
He couldn’t stand being in bed anymore, so he rolled off, doing his best to move his head as little as possible. Grace had pulled the blackout shades, so he wasn’t sure if he’d crash again if he saw light. He grabbed his sunglasses and put them on before heading downstairs.
He hadn’t eaten anything since the night before, and even that had been a light dinner. Kendall sitting across from him was even more appetizing than her food. They’d often returned to the meal after he effectively lured her back to bed—or, in some instances, a long stop in the hallway—but that hadn’t been the case last night. No, last night had been special—even more special than usual.
Tears burned the back of his eyes—he barely remembered the feeling. He hadn’t cried in more than a decade. Actually, he hadn’t cried since before his parents’ death. He wasn’t sure if this was an improvement. Pain surrounded him; it was not only in his head, but also in his heart. It made it hard to breathe, it made it hard to think, it made it hard to put one foot in front of the other. He grabbed the banister on the stairs and sat. He needed to put it all aside and do something to get Kendall back. Crying wouldn’t help matters.
“Jackson Finneus Sullivan, what are you doing out of bed?”
He blinked and focused and found Grace at the bottom of the steps, her silver hair catching the light from the overhead chandelier, her hands on the hips of her mom jeans. She wore a navy sweater that he knew would smell like Chanel No. 5 and a look that had made him cower ever since he could remember.
Damn, he was a grown man. He refused to cower. “Grace, I love you, but I’m not a child and I refuse to be treated like one.”
Now the similarities between Kendall and her mother became startlingly clear. He knew where Kendall got her eyebrow raise and her death glare—both of which were cutting into him. If he’d thought Kendall’s was bad, Grace’s was worse. “Jackson, the doctor said—”
“I know what the doctor said. I spoke to him. It was probably the drastic change in barometric pressure that triggered the headache. Stepping out into the blinding light didn’t help matters, but that doesn’t matter, Grace. I need to find Kendall. I need to talk to her. I love her. I can’t lose her.”
Grace took a deep breath and looked like she was about to blow. “You can’t lose her?” Her voice got eerily calm. “I wasn’t aware that you ever had her, Jax. Or should I call you Jack?”
He winced. Grace obviously knew all—well, all about his lie, anyway. As for what else she knew, he really didn’t want to know.
Grace turned, and he thought she was going to leave him sitting there and not give him a chance to explain, but instead she opened the front door to reveal Jaime with his hand up to knock.
Jax took one look at Jaime and wondered if Jax looked half as horrified as Jaime obviously did to be back on Grace and Teddy’s shit list.
Jaime shot visual daggers at him. “Afternoon, ma’am. I just came by to check on Jax.”
“Jaime Rouchard, I had a feeling I’d be seeing you today. You were always so good about facing up to your shenanigans, but I thought you were well past the age of teenage pranks.”
“Yes, ma’am. I mean, no, ma’am.” Jaime stumbled over his words like a toddler in his first pair of big-boy pants.
Jax shook his head and then regretted the action. The dynamic duo had gotten caught again, only this time they’d both have to bend down in order for Grace to box their ears—unless one or both of them were sitting on the steps. He grabbed the banister, concentrating on taking the stairs one step at a time, then hung on to the newel post in what he hoped was a nonchalant lean, before shaking Jaime’s hand—he thought since he’d dragged Jaime into this clusterfuck, he owed him protection and did his best to maneuver between Grace and his best friend. Unfortunately, it meant now he was the one suffering the lethal burns of Grace’s laser vision.
Jack refused to shuffle his feet under Grace’s scrutiny—mostly. Grace was a scary woman. And now that he thought about it, Teddy had nothing on her when it came to radiating danger. When Teddy, the ex-Marine drill sergeant, was mad, you knew it. But Grace was different; she excelled in subterfuge. The woman could feed you cookies and then kill you.
“Have you eaten, dear?” She stepped around Jax, making a point to smile as she literally took Jaime by the arm and steered him toward the kitchen. “I’ve made a nice, savory stew with homemade sourdough bread for dinner. You’ll be staying, won’t you?”
Jaime let himself be led but turned his head in a pleading gesture, as if he knew he was headed to the gallows and Grace was the hangman.
Jax followed, and before he could come up with a good excuse to get them the hell out of there, Grace had both of them seated, plated, and damn near confessing all as soon as the aroma of lamb stew hit their olfactory glands. Oh, she was good. Jax hadn’t had lamb stew in several years. But he remembered every bite of every bowl he’d ever eaten and polishing off an entire loaf of bread to sop up every last drop of the broth. His mouth watered, and his empty stomach growled like a caged tiger.
Teddy strolled in just as he’d raised his spoon, waiting for Grace to give them the go-ahead to dig in.
Teddy pointed at Jaime. “You.” Then he aimed his finger at Jax. “And you. The office. Now.”
Grace and Teddy separately were formidable. Together they were indomitable, and their timing impeccable.
Jaime gave Jax a we’re-so-screwed look. They both returned their unused spoons to the table with a clank and rose to their feet with all the enthusiasm of two tomcats sharing the same leash.
They
survived the walk, a trip both of them had traversed more times than they cared to remember, and stood in their assigned places before Jax’s father’s old mahogany desk—the same desk Teddy used to deal with the estate accounts.
Jax and Jaime assumed the position—hands linked behind their backs to hide all evidence of shaking, feet shoulder width apart to prevent fidgeting, and eyes straight ahead in military form, just as Teddy had taught them. Unfortunately, they never seemed to control their reaction to the sound of the door closing.
Teddy walked past them with a back so straight, his spine looked as if it were forged out of steel. He sat and leaned back in the worn leather chair, looking like a cross between John Wayne and Bill Cosby. There was no way to know if he was going to pull out a six-shooter for cleaning or perform Cosby-esque facial gymnastics; maybe both. Whichever way it went, the silence seemed to last forever. Death-row inmates had shorter queues before their walk to the electric chair, and at least they got a last meal. The ticking grandfather clock ratcheted up the tension until it was difficult to breathe.
Jax’s stomach clenched, and he was almost glad Teddy had insisted they have the talk before they ate. Getting raked over the coals was bad enough, but Jax was certain if he’d eaten, he’d be turning several shades of green instead of just growing paler by the moment.
By the time Teddy moved, Jax knew both he and Jaime looked so bad, they’d make albinos look tan. That Teddy left them standing long enough to sweat through their shirts; it could have been his trademark.
“What in the hell were you boys thinking?”
Jax swallowed audibly. “Kendall came up to the cabin for the same reason I did. We wanted to get away where no one in town would know we were in Harmony. If you and Grace knew either of us was having problems, you’d have been on the first plane home. Kendall wanted time to process everything, and I didn’t want to worry anyone.”
“I know about Kendall’s job loss and what that sorry excuse for a fiancé did to her, but I’m still in the dark when it comes to why you felt the need to disappear, and not only keep your return a secret from everyone, but your identity a secret from Kendall.”
“Kendall didn’t tell you?”
“If she had, do you think I’d be wasting my time talking to you?”
“No, sir. I don’t.”
“Now, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours, son? I’m just about out of patience.”
“No, sir. As far as I’m concerned, it has no bearing on the problem as I see it.”
“And just what is that?”
“The problem is that I made a mistake and withheld information from Kendall, and it came back to bite me on the ass. For some reason, Kendall and everyone else in town seems to think I’m the devil incarnate. Kendall didn’t recognize me. She told me all about Jax Sullivan before I got the opportunity to introduce myself. If I had, she would have hightailed it back to Addie’s.”
“And why would that have been a problem?”
“Because she would have told Addie I was there, and Addie would have felt obligated to inform you of my presence. There were two bedrooms, and I thought if Kendall stayed, we’d both get the peace and quiet we were looking for. I never expected to fall in love with her, sir. Believe me, a relationship was the last thing I was looking for.”
“And yet here we are. I’ve never seen my daughter truly devastated before, and to find out that you not only abused our trust, but you also took advantage of her when she was already beaten down—” Teddy’s gaze slammed into Jaime. “And you went along with this?”
Jax stepped forward. “He didn’t find out until I was already in too deep to get out.”
“Did you ever hear the saying ‘If you dig yourself into a hole, the first thing you should do is stop digging’?”
“Yes, sir—from you. I asked Jaime to back up my story. I take full responsibility. I forced his hand. I put him in an untenable position—”
Jaime pushed Jax aside. “I did what I thought was right, and I’d do it again. You weren’t there, Teddy. Kendall is the best thing that ever happened to Jax, and from what I saw the other day, I think she felt the same way about him. I saw them both happy for the first time since we were kids. Jax may have gone about it the wrong way, but he never intended to hurt her. As a matter of fact, Jax played a big part in rebuilding some of the damage David did. Kendall will see that when she calms down enough to think clearly.”
Teddy took his time staring at Jaime, who didn’t so much as twitch. “I heard Kendall paid you a visit before she left.”
Jaime’s hands seemed to instinctively shield his privates, and he swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.”
“No permanent damage, I hope.”
“No, sir. I think Kendall has forgiven me. At least she said we’re even.”
Jax shook his head and asked, “What did she do?” Kendall was about five-foot-nine; Jaime was six-foot-two and 220.
“Let’s just say I took one for the team. I just hope it doesn’t affect my ability to reproduce.”
Jax swallowed back a groan. Man, he knew Kendall was pissed at him, but to be that pissed at Jaime . . . “Sorry, man.”
“Yeah, you don’t know the half of it. After the swelling went down, I had to go face Addie. It wasn’t pretty.”
Jax met Teddy’s gaze head-on. “I know I messed up in more ways than I can count—”
Jaime faked a cough that sounded like “Literally.”
Jax stopped feeling sorry Kendall had kicked Jaime in the balls.
“I know I don’t deserve your understanding or your help, but you have to know how special Kendall is. How could any man in his right mind not fall in love with her? Please tell me where she is.”
Teddy scrubbed his face with his hands. “She went back to Boston this afternoon. She doesn’t want to see you.”
“But—”
“Jax, I know my little girl a lot better than you do. The best thing you can do right now is to give her space. When she’s ready to deal with you, believe me, you’ll know it. She gets that from her mama. If you push her, she’ll go off, and the fallout will be irreparable. I’d help you out if I could, but I have Grace to contend with, and you know her: she’s like a mama bear when it comes to protecting her kids—and, yes, that’s including you and Racquel. After hearing what Kendall’s been through in the last few weeks, Grace and I were torn. Right now it seems as if you’re holding your own. Am I wrong?”
“No, sir.”
“Kendall’s devastated. I’ll do what I can to help you out, but I have to go around Grace to do it, and that’s like playing Russian roulette.”
Jax wasn’t happy about it. “I understand. Thanks.”
Teddy looked at Jaime. “Go on out and tell Grace we’ll join you in a few minutes.”
Jaime shot him a you’re-on-your-own look of relief and left the room, closing the door behind him.
“Tell me what the hell is going on with you, son. I know it’s more than your headaches.”
Jax sat on the chair behind him and rubbed his temples before looking back at Teddy. “This stays just between us? I don’t want Grace and Rocki worrying about it until I know more. If that’s a problem, tell me now.”
Teddy paled. “You have my word.”
If Jax thought it was difficult telling Jaime and Kendall, it was nothing compared to having to tell Teddy. Teddy didn’t interrupt, didn’t blink; he just turned and sat down as the ramifications sank in. After a few minutes of silence, he cleared his throat. “You have to get out of here. If you stick around much longer, Grace is going to figure it out.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t want to come down here in the first place.”
Teddy seemed to center himself, although he still looked pale, and his eyes looked shiny, but he shook it off. “Okay, this is what we’ll do. There’s no way you’re getting out of here before you eat dinner, so we’ll just steer the conversation in safe directions. Then you go back to the cabin with
Jaime to pack. I’ll get you on the first flight out of Logan in the morning and make sure there’s a car waiting for you at the airport to take you home. Be ready to head out by oh-four-hundred hours.”
Jax cleared his throat. “Yeah, um, I can’t tell time yet. But I’ll have Jaime program it into my phone.” Jax stood and took a deep breath.
Teddy came around the desk, grabbed him in a crushing hug, and held on. “You’re going to be all right, son. I promise.”
The last time Jax had heard those words was right before his uncles shipped him off to boarding school. Teddy had meant well, but he’d been wrong then, and he was wrong now. Jax couldn’t see anything being all right ever again. So he pulled away from the closest person to a father he had. “Teddy, Kendall deserves to be loved by someone with all his faculties. I know that. And I tried to stay away from her. I really did. I might not deserve her, but I love her. I love her more than my own life. She needs to know I never lied to her about anything but my name. Not once.”
“I’ll tell her.”
*
Loud, incessant banging woke Kendall. The sound seemed to hit every cold, hard surface in the apartment and ricocheted. It grew in volume and pulsed through her aching head until she wondered if her ears were bleeding. Whatever this was made Jack’s hammering sound tame. “Oh, God. How much did I have to drink?”
Erin groaned from the other side of the sectional. “If you feel anything like I do, the answer to that question is, Way too much. Is that a gong?”
“No, I think it’s someone knocking.” Kendall rolled off the couch, and her stomach swirled like a Tilt-A-Whirl. She closed her eyes and swallowed back bile. “Coming.” In her head it sounded like a scream, but it was probably closer to a whisper. She looked through the peephole, saw her father, and pushed back the weight of disappointment that crushed what was left of her heart. She hadn’t even realized she’d been hoping Jack would come.
She opened the door to the big, strong bear of a man who had seemingly aged ten years in twenty-four hours. “Daddy?” He had dark circles under his eyes, and his shirt looked as if he’d slept in it. He was always the starched-and-pressed kind of man, yet today he looked as if he’d been thrown from a speeding car. “Daddy, what’s wrong? Is it Jack? What happened?”
