by L. P. Dover
I was dead.
I DIDN’T KNOW how long I yelled her name or how the pain coming through the bond didn’t kill me on the spot. All I knew was that Ariella was hurt, she was dying, and there was nothing I could do to save her. I yelled for Sorcha to go faster, to push harder, but when Ariella’s life began to slip out of my hands my whole world was lost. I held onto our bond, our connection, trying to will my power into her body … to keep her alive.
“Dammit, you hang on,” I shouted in her mind. She was still alive, but only barely. I had to get to her before I lost her for good.
I was riding in the air on Sorcha’s back—my army and the others were riding on the ground below us—when the whole Land of the Fae lit up like a thousand suns. The blast from that exposed power blew us back into the air with its raw force, but Sorcha kept fighting, pushing her wings to the limit knowing we needed to keep going. I couldn’t see a thing as we flew straight into the light.
Once the light slowly dimmed down and my eyes adjusted, it took a while to figure out what I was seeing. What was once the Black Forest below us with its dark oily trees and stench of death was now replaced with green meadows and a sense of life. There was no sign of the sorcerer or his army, or his evil for that matter. It all felt clean … and pure. However, there was something down there, something lying still in the grass.
“Sorcha, look!” I hollered, pointing down at the figure in the meadow.
Hope surged through my veins and each second we got closer to the ground, the more I could tell it was definitely my Ariella lying down there. As soon as Sorcha got close enough to the ground, I jumped off her back and ran straight to Ariella. With my heart racing and my lungs burning, I collapsed onto the ground beside her and scooped her into my arms.
“Ariella? I’m here, angel, open your eyes,” I demanded.
Her body was so still, so broken. The gash across her chest was black with inky veins protruding from the wound, and as soon as I placed my hand against her heart, my world ended when all I got was silence. I could no longer feel her heart beating or the life that used to course through her blood.
She’s gone.
“No!” I roared, holding her tight.
I yelled her name over and over, but she never opened her eyes; those same ice blue eyes that were the most beautiful shades of blue I’d ever seen and could see straight through my soul to the good. Never was there a time I let my emotions get to me, but the void in my heart from her loss was too much to bear. I couldn’t hold it inside, the pain became too much. As I rocked her in my arms, I let the tears fall freely from my eyes.
“Brayden,” a soft voice sounded behind me. I could barely hear it because of the pounding in my ears. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice other than Ariella’s. Nothing else mattered.
A light hand touched my shoulder but I was too numb to actually feel it. Calista knelt down beside me, and with tears in her eyes she squeezed my arm that held Ariella tightly to my chest. “We need to get her home to Elvena, Brayden. There has to be hope since her body is still here and not into ash. It’s time to go,” she said softly.
Was there still hope? All I knew was there was no home without her, but I had to believe in something.
Getting to my feet, I carried Ariella over to Sorcha who was still in dragon form, hanging her head as I approached. I ignored all the pitying stares as I walked past my warriors and only concentrated on the angel I had in my arms, the angel who had also taken my heart. Sorcha held out her claw and I climbed up, never letting go of Ariella.
“Let’s go,” I called, holding on as Sorcha took off into the sky. We were followed by Drake, who roared and whimpered, gazing over at the sister he’d lost. “Please come back to me,” I cried, wiping the tears angrily away from my eyes. I wanted to be furious at her for going against me and doing what she did on her own, except looking down at her angelic face I couldn’t begin to feel anything except how much I loved her, and how empty and lonely my life was going to be without her.
The ride back to the Winter Court felt like an eternity, but if there was any hope left, I sure hoped Elvena could find it. If there was anyone who could it would be her. When Sorcha landed at the palace steps of my home, I jumped off and rushed Ariella inside.
As soon as I entered through the doors I yelled as loud as I could, “I need someone to find Elvena, now!”
Quickly, I carried Ariella to our room and kicked open the door. I gently laid her on the bed and sat down beside her, shaking from impatience. I wanted Elvena to hurry and say that she could find a way to save her. I wanted to hear those words come out of her mouth and know that everything would be okay.
“Hang on, Ariella. I’m going to bring you back,” I cried, kissing her limp hand. It was the same hand that held my ring … the ring I gave to her.
Shouts and shuffling feet echoed out in the hallway, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than Ariella and her frozen body. By the time Elvena made it to the room and to my side, I hadn’t realized that everyone had already joined in behind me. Tears were all I could see as I gazed at everyone’s faces. Calista and Meliantha were holding onto each other as my brothers comforted them by their sides. My sister had Drake, my parents had each other, and so did Ariella’s parents. I was the only one, standing alone, and doomed to live the rest of my life in misery.
How was that fair? Ariella sacrificed her life to save the Land of the Fae and this is what she got … what we got. How could a land that loved its people so much not protect her when she had her own blood spilled to save it? If she didn’t survive, I wasn’t going to be a part of it anymore; I refused to be a part of it.
Elvena’s chin trembled as she gazed upon Ariella with a hand over her mouth, trying to keep in her sobs. “How is she still here?” I asked. “She has to still be alive somehow, right?”
She swallowed hard and shook her head. “I don’t know, child. I can’t feel her presence, but she is still here. From the wound in her chest she should’ve been ashes a long time ago.”
“What can we do?”
She sighed and hovered over Ariella, narrowing her eyes in concentration. “Let me take a look and see what I can find. There has to be an explanation somewhere.”
I moved over so Elvena could get closer to her, watching as she placed her hands on Ariella’s head. Closing her eyes, I could feel the energy spike in the room as Elvena mumbled a chant in the Old Fae language. I knew the language well, but even with my enhanced hearing I couldn’t tell what she was saying.
She travelled her hands down Ariella’s body, hovering about an inch above until she reached the place above her heart. She choked on a sob and sucked in a ragged breath before continuing on down. At that point I knew it was no use. The despair flowing off of Elvena was answer enough. Ariella’s heart had died, and with it mine as well.
I couldn’t take anymore.
I took one last look at my angel, my love, and my wife. Forever will she stay engraved in my mind, but there was only so much loss I could take. Turning on my heel, I dug my nails in my palm to keep my mind focused on the physical pain and not the pain of losing my love ripping my heart into shreds. I ignored everyone as I passed them, and for the first time ever, my brothers even knew to stay back.
Before I could get out the door, Elvena’s command stopped me, “Brayden, wait!”
I turned around slowly and met her sorrowful brown eyes. My throat closed up and it felt like I couldn’t breathe from the weight pressing down on me; I didn’t want to breathe. By the look in her gaze I knew what she was about to say would only tear me apart more. I thought about just walking out, but I had to know.
“I know why she’s still here,” she uttered sadly, looking only at me.
She hung her head and took a deep breath before meeting my eyes again. The next words that came out of her mouth were not what I was expecting at all. The force of it slammed into my chest and took every ounce of happiness I had ever felt and shoved it into the pits of despair
. Grief consumed me and I got lost in it, falling until I knew I would never find my way back.
I didn’t want to find my way back.
THERE WAS pain …
I was standing in the middle of a bright field with flowers as far as the eye could see. I was dressed in a beautiful white, flowing gown just like the dress I wore on mine and Brayden’s bonding night. There were others here, some reading while lounging in the grass while others walked and picked flowers.
“Please tell me this isn’t what I’m supposed to do while I’m here,” I mumbled to myself.
A deep, sad chuckle sounded from behind me so I turned around quickly and saw someone I wasn’t expecting to see. He bowed his head and smiled. “You can do what you want here, Your Highness. I am not one for the flower picking either.”
“Lukas!” I shrieked, taking hold of his hand. He felt so real … so alive. “What’s going on? How long have I been gone?”
“Not long,” he answered. “It’s been about a day now.”
“Where’s Merrick?” I asked curiously. “I figured he would be here.”
Sighing, Lukas shifted on his feet and hung his head. “No, he’s not here. He wanted to be here when you crossed over, but Calista needed him more.”
When his gaze lifted to mine, I could see the hesitance and sorrow in his eyes. “Oh no,” I whispered, turning away. “I can’t imagine what they must be going through right now.”
Even though I didn’t have a heart that beat, I could still feel the hurt and pain in knowing that everyone I loved was back home suffering.
“What’s going on back home? Is Brayden all right?” I asked forlornly.
He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the same soft, angelic voice of the woman I remembered hearing when I died. I could feel her presence behind me. “They will all be fine, Ariella,” she replied, placing a kind hand on my shoulder. “Losing someone you love is not an easy task to bear.”
I think we all knew how that felt. Taking a deep breath, I turned around slowly and in front of me was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. “What are you?” I breathed, taking in her whole appearance.
Her hair was like my own, appearing more white than blonde, while her body beamed in the bright light almost like a shimmering glow. She had wings behind her back, but they weren’t feathery like you would imagine an angel to have. They were thin and iridescent, adding to the whole ethereal glow. I was amazed and in awe.
Smiling, she bowed her head and answered, “My name is Lailah, Your Highness. I am one of the keepers of the Hereafter. I have come to welcome you.”
I tried hard to smile but failed. “Thank you, Lailah. However, I wish I could say that I was happy to be here. I mean, I’m glad I was given the privilege to be here, but my heart was left back in the Land of the Fae.” I paused for a second and searched around again at all the people, noticing that none of them had wings except her. “So …” I began. “With being a keeper of the Hereafter does that make you an angel?”
She laughed and reached down to take my hand. Her skin was warm and soft, but her grip was firm and strong. I could feel her power and the pureness in her soul, and never in my life or death had I ever felt that kind of power. “I guess you can say that,” she said, “but my wings disappear when I leave the Hereafter and the moment I step back they appear.”
“How is that possible?” I asked. “Did you have to earn them before you could become a Keeper?”
She shook her head. “No, I didn’t earn them in the way you think. I was chosen.”
“By whom?” I wondered. I had never heard of Keepers before.
“You ask a lot of questions, Your Highness,” Lailah teased with a grin. “I will tell you all that you want to know, but there is somewhere we must go first.”
She looked to Lukas, who had remained silent during our introduction, and bowed her head to him. “It was lovely to see you again, Lukas, as always.”
“Same to you, Lailah,” he responded warmly.
He backed away slowly as Lailah held my hand tighter and lifted us up into the sky. “Where are we going?” I asked, looking down at the ground disappearing beneath us. The land below us started to fade and I had to close my eyes to the bright light that glared all around us the farther we went.
“Just hold on tight, Ariella, and keep your eyes closed. All will be revealed soon.”
“OPEN YOUR EYES,” Lailah commanded sweetly.
Before opening my eyes, it took only one second to know where I was. I was in the Land of the Fae, in the exact spot the life fled from my body. The green meadows flowed as far as the eye could see with no hint of evil anywhere, and where I had met my last minutes in our realm there was a bed of roses that grew where my body had lain. I picked a giant pink one and held it to my nose. It smelled so sweet and alive, and it reminded me so much of my home in Summer before I changed.
“Why did you bring me here?” I cried, kneeling down into the grass. “What purpose is it to remind me of what I left behind?”
Lailah knelt down beside me and placed her hands on the ground. “I didn’t bring you here to make you upset, Your Highness. This is the first step to helping you understand.”
“To understand what,” I whispered.
She took my hand and placed it on the ground. “That this isn’t the end,” she claimed. “Concentrate on the land and tell me what you feel.”
Closing my eyes, I connected with the land and searched deep within its depths. I knew what I was feeling because I had felt it before, before my court had been claimed. The land was waiting for someone to be worthy enough to claim it, to make it grow.
“It wants to be claimed,” I told her, “but with all the four courts who is there left to claim it?”
Grinning from ear to ear, she held out her hand and smiled. “That is the right question, Your Highness. Come, we have somewhere else to go.”
Instead of flying this time, the moment I took her hand the bright light that shone on us from before flashed all around us. I could hear the far away sound of voices off in the distance, and once the lights dimmed and we got closer, I knew who those voices belonged to. When the light disappeared, I immediately opened my eyes and gasped, clutching my chest. I could barely breathe from the sorrow and pain permeating the room … mine and Brayden’s room.
Merrick saw me and rushed over, taking me in his arms. “Oh, Ariella, I am so sorry I wasn’t there to see you on the other side. I couldn’t leave Calista … she needed me.”
“I understand,” I whispered.
He raised a questioning brow at Lailah and she quickly shook her head in response. I wonder what that’s about.
“How is Brayden?” I asked him. By the way he bit his lip and looked away, I knew something was wrong. I knew that look like the back of my hand. “Merrick, tell me,” I pleaded.
He sighed and blew out a shaky breath. “He’s not here, Ariella. After everything that happened he took it pretty hard. He said he was leaving.”
“Leaving,” I shrieked. “Leaving where?”
He shrugged. “No one knows.”
“I have to find him,” I exclaimed to Lailah, wanting to rush out the door. “Please, let me look for him.” There was nothing I wanted more than to see him again, but then if he couldn’t see me ...
Would he be able to feel my presence like Calista could with Merrick?
Lailah nodded sadly and brushed a gentle hand down my cheek. “You will have plenty of time to find your mate, Your Highness. However, there is something that you need to know before you do.”
A lone tear escaped down my cheek and she wiped it away, smiling. She walked me over to my family and as we passed them I got a clear view of the bed. There—lying under the sheets—was my body, still and unmoving with my eyes closed and unseeing. But how was that possible? I was dead, so shouldn’t my body have been turned to ash?
“Why am I lying there?” I asked nervously. “If I’m dead wouldn’t my body be gone?”
>
Elvena was sitting on one side of the bed sobbing with her head lowered while my sisters and Sorcha sat on the other with their arms wrapped around each other, sniffling and wiping away their tears. Bayleon and Bastian were even in the room with their eyes downcast, probably to keep from looking at Queen Mab or my mother.
Ryder and Kalen both hung back, grieving to themselves, wanting to give Calista and Meliantha their space. Kamden and Zanna were in the corner, both holding onto each other for comfort. However, Drake was a different story. Never once had I seen him cry, but watching the tears fall down his cheeks at my absence ripped my soul into pieces.
“Don’t despair, Ariella,” Lailah murmured. She placed a hand on the forehead of my body lying in the bed and looked back at me. I had no idea what was going on or why my body was still whole, but I wanted answers … I needed them.
“Tell me what’s going on,” I cried.
Lailah sighed and explained, “As you already know, when one of the fae dies, the soul in your body leaves and travels to the Hereafter. Your soul is what keeps your body together, keeps it strong. Yours has crossed over, Ariella, and that is what I see when I look at you right now. However, there is something that keeps you tied to this world, something that keeps your body alive even though your soul is not a part of it.”
“What could that be?” I whispered. “I have never heard of this happening before.” Nothing she said was making sense. I had never known any of this to ever happen in the Land of the Fae. What could be keeping my body tethered to my realm?
Lailah smiled. “Of course you wouldn’t have heard of this happening before. You are the first, Your Highness. The Keepers had known of your fate to defeat the sorcerer long before you even knew, except your destiny took an interesting turn that we didn’t expect. It wasn’t just something that saved you, but someone.”
I felt the presence of someone else with me when I defeated the sorcerer, but I never understood who or what it was.
