by Karen Reis
On Sunday, Paul Martin and his family called me and invited Sean and I to go as a couple with them to King Put’s Putting Range for some miniature golf. He said that his wife Debbie wanted a chance to get to know me better since we’d only met and spoken with each other that one time at Genny’s shower.
Debbie was something of a hyper-active social butterfly, and she was the type of woman who had activities for the family lined up for every weekend. She and Paul had a large group of couple friends with whom they did outings and hikes and other things like that, and, according to Paul, Debbie wanted to bring us into the fold. When we arrived at the mini golf range in Sean’s truck, Debbie wrapped me up in a warm hug and engaged me in animated conversation. She, unlike all my coworkers, didn’t say one word about the bombing or the note, both of which had made the local nightly news the day after it had occurred.
Everybody’s kids were along, and Sean and I, who had none, were given the responsibility of looking after Kaylee, the younger of Paul and Debbie’s twins. The three of us got our clubs and balls and had our hands stamps, and then we went through a set of doors that led to the miniature golf range. Kaylee bounced along next to us, holding both of our hands and chattering nonstop. She had a huge vocabulary and a low sugar tolerance. We bought sodas at a kiosk while we waited our turn to start playing, and soon she was hoping up and down and running back and forth between us and her parents, who stood close by.
Sean smiled and me and took my hand in his, rubbing it slowly and seductively. “You ever think about having kids?” he asked me quietly.
His question surprised me. It was one of those subjects that most people considered dangerous ground. I shrugged. “The idea terrifies me. What if I end up just like my parents?” I looked at Kaylee, and then over at Paul, who was holding Kyle. He was one year old and still a baby and very cute. Looking at him my heart suddenly ached.
“But maybe I wouldn’t,” I said at last. I raised my eyebrows and asked Sean in return, “Do you want kids?”
Sean smiled and kissed my hand. “Yes. I do. Though I get how you feel. My parents were not good examples, but I like to think that I’d be able to learn from their mistakes and be smart enough not to repeat them.”
Kaylee tried to hit a boy with her club, and Sean took it from her as punishment. I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, he wants kids.
As our turn came to start I told Sean, “I should warn you, I tend to get a little out of control with the ball sometimes.”
A slight smile pulled at his lips as he looked at me and restrained Kaylee from trying to jump in a pond. “Just how out of control are we talking?” he asked, picking up Kaylee and settling her on his shoulders, which she thought was just grand.
“Well, one time I was trying to get the ball past this windmill thing and I struck the ball too hard. It ricocheted off the tower part and it ended up hitting some strange man in the butt. Luckily he thought it was funny, but for a moment there, I was sure he was going to pop his top and go after me.”
Sean laughed outright at me, but I didn’t mind. It was a funny story and a good memory. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “If you hit someone with a ball, I’ll protect you from the fallout. But maybe we can work on your game in the meantime.”
He ended up having to work on Kaylee’s game, which inevitably meant cheating so that she could get a ball in the hole or through a trap. I didn’t mind at all because we were all having fun. Sean was patient with Kaylee when she got frustrated or hyper, praising her when she was able to made a shot on her own, and encouraging her when she couldn’t. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t think he had anything to worry about in the parenting department, but I didn’t.
Kaylee “won” and when all the couples with us had finished the course, we stormed the nearest ice cream shop. Sean and I ate our cones slowly while Kaylee devoured hers. By that time, it was dusk, and Paul and Debbie said goodnight. Their kids made a fuss, but only a small one, because they really were well behaved kids, and then they were out the door, the rest of the couples following with them. That left Sean and me alone. We talked about silly things and then we were quiet for a while. Sean opened his mouth to ask me something, but he was cut by the sound of heavy breathing coming from the direction of my feet.
“Is that Darth Vader?” Sean asked instead, leaning forward and looking at my purse.
“My ringtone,” I said sheepishly. “I’m a huge Star Wars fan.” I pulled my phone out of my purse and looked at the caller ID. “It’s my sister, Vanessa,” I said with surprise. My sisters didn’t call me very often. I opened my phone up and pressed Talk.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Vanessa didn’t even bother to say hello. “Dad just told Nancy that he’s $90,000 in debt with his business and she went through the roof.” Her voice was strained and she sounded like she was trying not to cry. “Nancy started raging and Harvey got upset and starting barking and barking at her.” Harvey was Vanessa’s beloved black Cocker Spaniel. Her voice cracked and she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore because she sobbed, “Carrie, she picked him up and threw him against the wall. He’s hurt and he can’t move. Lindsay is starting to load some of our stuff into her car but I have to take Harvey to the vet.”
I sat there stunned, unable to move for a moment. Nancy had never done anything physical before, if you didn’t count throwing glass figurines at our heads or slamming doors so hard that the windows rattled. “Jesus Christ, Vanessa,” I managed to say finally. “Where is Nancy right now?”
“She’s in her bedroom with the door shut tight and we haven’t heard anything from her for a few minutes, but we’ve got to get out of here. We can’t stay here another night.” She paused, and then added in a small voice, “We’ll have to leave most of our stuff behind. I’m afraid she’ll burn it all like she’s always threatened to do. She really lost it, Carrie. I thought she was going to attack us.”
I got up from the table without even realizing it and began to pace inside the ice cream shop. “You guys need somewhere to go,” I said, taking control of the situation. “Aunt Clarissa has an extra bedroom now that Pete’s moved to Texas. I can call her and see if you guys can stay there for a while. Then I’m going to come over and help Lindsay get loaded up while you take Harvey to the vet. It’s going to take me a little time to get there though. I’m in the southeast part of town, but tell Lindsay I’ll be there as soon as possible to help.”
I was so focused on my conversation with Lindsay that I hadn’t even noticed that Sean had gotten up and thrown his cone out till he grabbed me by the elbow and started guiding me toward the exit and out to the parking lot.
“Trouble at home,” I whispered to him as Vanessa babbled a bit about her dog. A thought struck me. “Where’s Dad?” I demanded to know as Sean opened the passenger door for me and I scrambled inside.
“He left the house as soon he told Nancy about the debt.”
I cursed under my breath. “Of course he did,” I snarled. “God forbid he act like a man and-” I cut myself off and took a deep breath. Bashing Dad right now wasn’t going to help Vanessa. “Look, I can handle Nancy and she knows it. She won’t try to hurt anyone else if I come. You just tell Lindsay I’m on my way and then get out of there, okay?”
I hung up with Vanessa and started to dial my Aunt Clarissa’s number. Clarissa was my Dad’s older sister and she lived on the west side of town in a fancy house. “I need to go to my parent’s house,” I told Sean as he started the engine. “There’s been…an incident there, and my sisters need to get out.”
“Where do they live?” he asked me.
“You don’t have to come with me,” I said as I pressed Send. “Nancy’s finally lost it and I need to help my sisters get out of the house tonight.”
“You can get more stuff in my truck bed,” he offered as I listened to my phone ring. I shook my head. I didn’t want him to see my parents or the place where I had grown up.
“Carrie,” Sean said firmly, a
nd I looked over at him. “I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation, and your stepmom doesn’t sound very stable at the moment. There’s no way I’m going to let you walk into that kind of situation alone.”
He was a prince, no doubt about it. His concern touched me, and a lump of emotion grew in my throat. I suppose I could have been adamant in my refusal of his help, but I didn’t want to say no. I wanted his help. I needed it. Too many times in my life I’d gone without that, and it felt really good to have a man back me up for once in my life.
“I would love for you to come with me,” I said huskily. I told him how to get to my parent’s house, and then Clarissa finally answered her phone.
My parent’s house looked worse than I could ever remember it being. The front yard, which had always been bare dirt, was covered with dead weeds and littered with trash. One front window was broken and all the potted plants surrounding the front door that had once thrived under Nancy’s care were dead. The front door also wasn’t where it used to be, but had been moved four feet to the left where a large window had once dominated the wall. Where the front door used to be was an exposed section of plywood where my dad had once again not bothered to finish a job, and had decided that putting the old peeling siding back on was simply too much work and let it be.
Even though the house had always been an eyesore, Nancy had done her best to keep it neat and clean. Now, there was a neglected air about the house that had never been there before, and as Sean parked the truck at the end of the driveway next to Lindsay’s half packed car, I looked over at him too try to gauge his reaction. He didn’t make any comments though, not about how trashy the house looked, nor did he tell me how sorry he was that I’d grown up in a place like this. I was grateful for his silence. We got out of the truck and went up to the front door. We had no trouble getting in even though I didn’t have a key; Lindsay had left the front door wide open so Sean and I just walked in. The house was eerily quiet and dark, and even when my parents’ dog Pepper ran up to greet us with a wag of his tail, the house felt lifeless, as if something horrible here had happened and even the walls were in shock because of it. I bent down to pet Pepper and he licked my hand.
“It’s been a stressful day, hasn’t it Pepper?” I glanced up at Sean. “You know, I probably shouldn’t leave him here, considering what Nancy did to my sister’s dog.”
“Probably,” he agreed. “Where’s your oldest sister?”
I glanced toward the back of the house. “Either she’s up in her bedroom or in the back yard getting some stuff she doesn’t want to leave behind for the night.” I glanced in the direction of the master bedroom. “And Nancy’s most likely in her room still. If we’re quiet, maybe she won’t hear us.”
The house was filthy and smelled musty and old. I led us past the dining room where papers were stacked all over the table six inches deep, and through the kitchen. In the rear of the kitchen was a hallway that led to a bedroom which had been converted into an office and in that hallway was where the previous owners had put in a staircase that led to the second floor. Lindsay and Vanessa’s rooms were up those stairs, and I climbed them as quietly as I could. Their bedrooms were crowded with their things, and we found Lindsay was inside hers, quickly and quietly stuffing clothing into suitcases. She didn’t say a word as she glanced quickly up at the both of us. The skin around her mouth and eyes were drawn tightly and her eyes were dry. Of the three of us girls, she was able to control her emotions the best, keeping her agony inside. It struck me then as a horrible skill, but I knew that saying anything at that point would do no good.
“Lindsay?” I said quietly. “Are you alright?”
Her lips thinned and she turned to yank more clothes out of her closet and dump them into another suitcase. She didn’t answer me. “Dumb question,” I said quietly. Of course she wasn’t alright. “This is my…boyfriend, Sean,” I gestured at him and he lifted a hand as by way of hello. “He’s here to help. He has a truck.”
Lindsay acknowledged him with a flick of the eyes in his direction, but she didn’t speak to him. Neither of us took it personally. I looked at Sean once more. “I guess I’ll help pack and maybe you could load?” I asked him.
Sean nodded. “Good plan.” Then he picked up two of Vanessa’s suitcases that Lindsay had already packed, plus Harvey’s kennel which was stuffed with his food and toys. Sean was pretty strong, I thought.
Lindsay shoved a duffel bag at me and pointed towards her desk. “Make sure any sensitive stuff is out of there.” I obeyed without a word and swept the desk’s contents: checkbooks, credit cards, paper, 3 hole-punch, and other odds and ends, into the duffel. Next I went into the bathroom and stuffed everything from there into plastic shopping bags.
When we had everything that they would need for the next few days packed into Lindsay’s car and Sean’s truck, I showed Sean where Pepper’s kennel and food was stored, and while he took that out to his truck, I put Pepper’s harness and leash on him. I was crossing the living room with him on my way out the door when Nancy emerged from her bedroom.
“Who’s out there?” she demanded to know, squinting into the dimness.
I stopped in the middle of the living room. Pepper wagged his tail at the sight of my stepmother. He did love her so.
“It’s just me,” I said in a stiff voice. The whore of Babylon. I tensed for a fight even as I remembered our last encounter. “Vanessa called to tell me what happened. As of tonight, they’ll be moving out.” My voice brooked no argument.
But Nancy didn’t have her claws out at that moment and she didn’t seem to remember her anger towards me. She simply looked tired and old, worn thin and beaten down. I saw all this and I blamed my father. She may have had her issues, but most of her anger came from the fact that my dad was completely unavailable emotionally and physically, didn’t communicate, and now had them up to their ears in debt, most likely because he was a poor businessman.
Speaking of that, I interjected, “And Vanessa is no longer working for you and Dad.” Vanessa might not know it yet, but she had just quit.
Nancy didn’t seem to hear me though. “I never meant for any of this to happen,” she told me, her voice brittle.
Sean appeared just outside the front door, and I gestured to him with a slight movement of my hands to stay out of sight. I turned my attention back to Nancy.
“I know,” I said, and I did know. She was talking about more than just that day, but about all the days before it. She hadn’t meant for her life to turn out the way it had. “I do understand that. But you could always change things.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, right.”
I cocked my head and asked the question I’d been wondering about for several years. “Do you love Dad?”
She shook her head regretfully. “I don’t know. I know he doesn’t love me.”
“You know,” I said carefully, not knowing how my next words would be received. “I’m kind of surprised you’ve never left him, considering everything.”
Nancy sank down into a chair, and Pepper strained on his leash to reach her. I wouldn’t let him and he sat down at my feet, whining softly. “I didn’t have to marry your father,” Nancy said wistfully. “I could have married a nice man back in San Diego. His name was Henry Phillips. Why did I choose your father over him? I can’t even remember.”
Tears filled my eyes at the pathetic picture she made. Nancy may have made my and my sister’s lives hell, but deep down I did love her and I hated to see her hurt so much. “You shouldn’t let him treat you so badly. You don’t deserve it.”
“I don’t.” She paused and looked me over. “Or do I? I haven’t been any kind of mother to you or your sisters. Not a good mother at all.”
“You did your best,” I told her gently, even though I agreed with her on that point.
Still, she would not be convinced. “I think I finally understand Barbara now,” she whispered. “Why she did what she did. I think it was because she knew
that if she stayed, she would go insane.”
I lowered my voice. “I think I can see that too.” I swallowed, and looked around. “What’s been going on around here?”
Nancy shrugged and looked around. Her eyes were blank. “This place has fallen apart without you. I never realized how much you did around here until you were gone Carrie. Business hasn’t been good, either. We keep losing money. It doesn’t matter how many hours we work; nothing gets better. And now this.” She shook her head. “Ninety thousand dollars. I should have paid more attention to the books. I should have spoken up. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think it was my place.”
“You’re his wife,” I insisted. “Of course it’s your place. It’s your money too, after all.”
“And my debt,” Nancy added bitterly. “I don’t know what we’re going to do. We barely have enough money coming in to cover the bills, let alone this debt.”
“Will you tell me how things got so bad?” I didn’t know if she would. My parents’ finances had always been strictly their business and none of mine or my sisters.
Nancy sighed. “He kept buying new equipment for all those harebrained ideas of his and paying people who hadn’t done their work. Then there was that lawsuit, and it just kept adding up.”
Lawsuit? I didn’t know anything about that. Not even Vanessa, who usually would tell me things about home with enough prodding, had hinted at such an occurrence. Heck, she might not even know anything about it.
