by Ovidia Yu
‘But I can see you are a good trainer. So here’s the deal. You take the maids and train them for me … no security bond, no extra levy, no MOM snooping around. You pay $250 a month, big discount, right? You can save up to buy more handbags; I know you Tai-Tais like designer handbags. In return you pass them on to me for further training once they can cook, can operate washing machines, can understand basic instructions. I can even let you have two maids at a time. Good deal, right?’
Through Aunty Lee’s indignation she was aware that Jonny Ho still had not answered the question of why he had not supplied Beth with a domestic helper when he had this (illegal) supply of cheap labour. Even Cherril was put off; though, only someone who knew her as well as Aunty Lee did would have noticed the tightened (still smiling) lips and narrowed eyes. But before either of them could answer him there were three interruptions: Xuyie, who was hardworking but inexperienced, wanted to know what to do with the two basins of cooked potatoes taking up space in the chiller, Avon wanted to know what to tell a caller asking whether Aunty Lee’s Fish Head Curry was nut and gluten free, and a strange man rushed into the café and headed straight for Jonny Ho, shouting: ‘You lousy cowardly cheater! You cannot keep hiding from me! You’re going to face me and admit what you did whether you like it or not!’
Jonny Ho stood and pushed his chair between him and the newcomer, glancing around for support. But Aunty Lee was more interested in the slightly bald, slightly chubby man who was panting as he glared at Jonny. He looked about the same age and same height but, in contrast to Jonny’s careful professional outfit, the newcomer was wearing an old striped polo shirt and baggy khaki shorts … and open-toed sandals instead of pointed Italian leather shoes. Right now his face was red with heat and rage, and sweat was beading on the shining crown of his head but Aunty Lee thought she recognized him.
‘Fabby? Is that you? You are Fabian Loo, right? Little flabby Fabby?’
Taken aback, the man switched his glare over to her. ‘Who are you?’
‘I am your Aunty Rosie; you don’t remember me? I used to come over to your house when you were so small … I would bring you kueh bangkit and pineapple tarts for Chinese New Year! Alamak, Fabby, you look so much like your father. Ken was also only in his thirties when he started losing his hair. Wah, he tried everything! Western treatments, Eastern treatments, coconut oil … until finally your mother told him to just shave his head!’
Distracted, Fabian Loo ran a hand over his balding head. ‘Aunty Rosie … yes, sure I remember you. It’s been a long time. Sorry to drag you into the middle of this. But I have something to settle with this rotten cheater.’ It seemed to dawn on him that Aunty Lee was sitting at Jonny’s table. Cherril had moved swiftly away, and Aunty Lee would be holding her mobile phone in case she needed to summon help from the police post. ‘You know this guy?’
‘I just met him yesterday … at your mother’s old house. Your Aunty Beth introduced us.’
‘Aunt Beth told me I would find him here. Anyway, I don’t want to get you involved but, in case he’s trying to pull some scam on you, you should know that he swindled me and he conned my late mother. I am going to challenge my mother’s will and sue the shit out of Mr Fancy Pants Jonny Ho!’
‘Aiyoh, Fabby. Things like that you best leave to lawyers to handle; don’t chase people around yourself. Lawyers love to handle this kind of thing,’ Aunty Lee put her hands on Fabian’s arms and looked up at him. ‘Wah, you’re all grown up and so handsome!’
It was understandable that a Singapore boy like Fabian, brought up to be respectful to his elders whatever he might think of them, found it difficult to push her away as Aunty Lee started walking him to the exit. She very much wanted to talk to the boy, but not with Jonny Ho around. And she suspected it would not be as easy to get Jonny Ho to leave.
‘Come back and talk to me another time. Or come and have dinner in my house. I want to talk to you and find out how you’ve been doing. Did you drive here?’
‘No. Where would I get a car? That guy’s taken everything, even the house that my father paid for. There’s no way Mum would have left the house to him. But what’s the use? Nobody here cares. They all think he’s so charming, so entrepreneurial. He doesn’t have anything. I thought Julietta would help me talk Mum round, but even she disappeared on me. That jerk probably paid her off. Whatever he’s doing it’s with my mum’s money that should have come to me. Nobody gives a shit what happens to me. Aunt Beth doesn’t like him, but even she says just leave it, just go back to America. Well, I’m not going to go back until I find out what’s going on!’
Aunty Lee looked worriedly at the café door which she had closed behind them.
‘So Fabian, you will come back and have dinner with me one day? Here, I give you my card. You call and say when you want to come, and I cook for you all your father’s favourite dishes. You look so much like him you will probably like the same food.’
‘I don’t know. I don’t feel much like eating with all this going on.’ But he sounded more like a sullen schoolboy than a crazed avenger.
‘There’s a taxi … hiyah, why doesn’t it come over?’ Aunty Lee waved urgently at the stationary (and slightly familiar?) taxi parked a little down the road from Jonny’s flashy blue car.
‘The driver’s probably asleep or taking a pee break,’ Fabian said. Now the fight had gone out of him he looked miserable and pathetic. ‘Don’t worry, Aunty Rosie. I’ll walk out to the main road and get a taxi there. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come and kicked up a fuss in your café. I was just so mad at Jonny Ho. And he’s been avoiding me. He won’t give me the key to the house, says they are converting it into a playschool and there’s nowhere for me to stay there. That’s the house I grew up in, and he’s just making plans and changing things and … look, even if he hasn’t done anything wrong is that any way to behave? After all, if he married my mum he’s officially my stepfather, right? Shouldn’t he take some kind of responsibility for me?’
‘He wouldn’t let you stay in Patty’s house? Who can like that!’
Fabian looked embarrassed. ‘I went straight to the house when I got back. Actually, I only came back because Mum’s lawyer contacted me about her new will: the one that they hadn’t seen. So when I saw him I was naturally a bit upset, and this was after a travelling all the way back from the States and how many time zones worth of jet lag, and so maybe I shouted at him a bit and threw some things, and Aunt Beth was there and she got a bit scared and started crying. So Jonny made it quite clear he doesn’t want me around there. Anyway I’ve been trying to get him to come see Mum’s lawyer with me but he just ignores me.’
Fabian didn’t look jet-lagged to Aunty Lee so much as a frustrated man with a grudge. Had Jonny made Julietta disappear, or had Fabian said something that made her run away? What could Flabby Fabby have done to make his own mother write him out of her will?
CHAPTER NINE
Aunty Lee Gets Involved
When Aunty Lee returned to the café she found Jonny chuffed and triumphant. Clearly he considered Fabian’s ejection a triumph for himself. Cherril on the other hand was sullen … no, not just sullen but angry … beneath a token veneer of courtesy but Jonny was too full of himself to notice. Aunty Lee wondered what Jonny could have said or done in the short time she was outside.
To make things more complicated, Mr and Mrs Guang came in just then. They smiled and bowed to Aunty Lee, then ordered a tea each and sat.
Aunty Lee liked having people in the café because it brought good energy. And she was glad the old couple were trying to be neighbourly. Both she and Cherril tried to chat or suggest food they might try, but the Guangs seemed happy to sit quietly.
‘For the free air con,’ Cherril guessed.
‘So, are we ready to talk arrangements?’ Jonny sat, knees spread wide, and grinned at Aunty Lee with aggressive charm. Because Aunty Lee had removed Fabian (son of her old friend) rather than him (husband of that old friend) Jonny clearly thought he h
ad her favour. He clearly did not know nobody works charm like a Peranakan Aunty. Unlike many other women who lose their charms as they grow older and wider, Peranakan Aunties become more powerful.
‘What arrangements?’
‘We should not waste time. Time is money, you know. I want to start helping you immediately. I also have contacts in the construction business and, just for you, I can arrange for you to get a special deal to makeover both your house and restaurant.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with my house, what.’
‘But when was the last time you had a renovation?’
‘I got to wait until Nina gets back,’ Aunty Lee said firmly. ‘Once Beth gets back her Julietta, Nina will come back here and—’
Jonny shook his head, laughing at her. ‘No way Julietta is coming back. What I mean is, no way she will get back the job if she does. No fear. She had her chance and she blew it. No second chance for losers. Even if she comes back it will make no difference!’
‘If she comes back we will know why she ran away. That might make all the difference,’ Aunty Lee said firmly, ‘and Nina is only helping Beth out until you get a replacement.’
‘Your Nina may not want to come back here you know. She may want to run away from you and that policeman that is harassing her.’
Aunty Lee stared at him. She could not believe Nina had said any such thing to a stranger … it must have been that Silly-Nah. Silly must have told Beth or Jonny what she had overheard in the café when Nina said she was tired of being hounded about Salim. But it was Aunty Lee that had been doing the hounding, not Salim. Aunty Lee suddenly felt hugely irritated with Nina. This was the thanks she got for trying to get her to live happily ever after!
Jonny’s mobile rang just then and he (most rudely) glanced at the number and answered in Mandarin, turning away without excusing himself.
Aunty Lee looked out of the window and saw the mysterious taxi she had seen lurking just up the road when she sent Fabian off. It was just the distraction she needed from Nina’s ingratitude and Jonny’s rudeness.
‘I talk to you another time.’ Aunty Lee grabbed her handbag and trot-shuffled out of the café.
Before the taxi driver knew what was happening, she had pulled open the door and hopped into the back seat despite the driver’s loud objections.
‘You are the same taxi driver that was at Jalan Kakatua yesterday, right? Outside that children’s school?’ Aunty Lee said breathlessly as she hurriedly arranged her handbag and herself and slammed the door.
The driver twisted around in his seat to look at her in disbelief. ‘Aunty, you deaf, is it? I told you, Not For Hire, understand or not?’
‘Hiyah! Why do they make seatbelts so tight?’ Aunty Lee complained. ‘And why make it so hard to stick it in underneath you? They should make them with Velcro. Just two flaps of Velcro, left and right over on top. So much easier, right?’
‘Hey, Aunty, I said I’m not taking passengers.’
‘Your “Hired” sign is not up. There’s nobody in your car. You must drive me, otherwise I will call your company and report you for not picking up an old woman!’ Aunty Lee would never have done that, of course. She disliked talking on the phone, especially to strangers, because she could not see their reactions.
‘I’m waiting for somebody.’
‘Then why your engine is on but your call sign is not up?’
‘Why so urgent, Aunty? Got to go hospital have baby, is it?’
Looking out of the back window, Aunty Lee saw Jonny Ho, complete with plastic smile, start walking towards the taxi.
‘Alamak,’ she said.
The driver glanced in the direction of the café then suddenly the car was in gear and pulling away fast, the driver barely checking for oncoming traffic. Fortunately for him and Aunty Lee they didn’t hit anything.
‘Aunty? So, where are you heading?’
‘Bring me to Jalan Kakatua.’
‘What? Why?’ The man’s immediate attention and suspicion were obvious.
‘My maid is working there temporarily. I want to talk to her: 221 Jalan Kakatua.’
‘If your maid is working there, no way that dragon boss will let you talk to her.’
‘Just drive in that direction, okay?’ Aunty Lee said vaguely, turning to look out of the rear window. Jonny’s fancy car could catch up with a taxi without problem but she doubted he would bother.
‘Hey, I can understand you wanting to get away from that guy but I got to earn back my rental and diesel, okay. What about if I drop you around here? You can take another taxi there.’
Aunty Lee dug into her purse which (fortunately) had cash in it. ‘Where you picked me up is my café. I got to go back there, just not yet. You just want to go back and follow that Jonny Ho again, right? Here … drive around for fifty dollars. Or you can park somewhere. I want to talk to you.’ Nina could wait. After all, Aunty Lee knew where she was and, at the very worst, she could always send Salim to rescue her from KidStarters.
Even the back of the driver’s neck looked suspicious. ‘Look, I can use fifty dollars. Who cannot, right? But I don’t do any funny business.’
‘You weren’t waiting for passengers.’ As the taxi slowed down by the side of the road Aunty Lee spoke quickly to counter the possibility of being ejected. ‘You were just parking there outside my shop waiting. And just now you didn’t drive because I told you to, you were driving to get away from that man who followed me out; you didn’t want him to see you. So you better tell me who you are or I am going back to tell him some taxi driver is following him!’
The taxi speeded up and pulled back into the flow of traffic. It belatedly occurred to Aunty Lee that hijacking and threatening a taxi driver she knew nothing about might not have been the smartest thing to do.
‘What’s your name?’ The man did not answer. Aunty Lee pushed forward between the front seats and squinted at the identification notice displayed. ‘Seetoh Ying Ping … Mr Seetoh I want to talk to you, and I need you to pay attention so find somewhere to park.’
‘Aunty, look, I don’t want any trouble, lah. Let me just drop you off. Or I bring you back to where I pick you up, okay? And you better sit properly and put on seatbelt. Taxi drivers are fined if caught carrying unbelted passengers, and I got enough problems without kenah fined, okay.’
Aunty Lee started the struggle with the seatbelt again. She did not like wearing seatbelts, but she did not want to get the man into any more trouble before learning what trouble he was already in.
‘Mr Seetoh, why were you following Jonny Ho?’
Horns blared as the driver’s head jerked round to look at Aunty Lee, and the taxi swerved into the path of a pick-up with a (fortunately) more alert driver.
‘Park first then we talk.’ Aunty Lee settled back and tugged to loosen her seatbelt which had snapped against her.
‘Guys like that Jonny Ho are troublemakers,’ Seetoh said. ‘PRCs all like that, come here to laowah only. Think that just because they got money they are so big shot can treat us all like shit.’
Seetoh drove them to a small parking bay along the park connector jogging route. Since the latest drive to get Singaporeans exercising, free parking could be found near most parks. Park benches could also be found and they settled on one, watching maids walking dogs and pushing prams and wheelchairs pass by. Aunty Lee could not help thinking that this would be a good place to take a grandchild walking some future day, but resolutely pulled her mind back to the present.
‘But why were you following Jonny Ho?’
‘I never said I follow that bastard, what.’
‘Too late for that. Look, why not just tell me? We can exchange info.’ Aunty Lee put on her best wheedling harmless family friend look. ‘My friend is going to work for him. I just want to watch out for her. If you know anything about him or about his playschool, you must tell me so that I can warn her.’
Seetoh did not answer. He was younger than Aunty Lee thought, going by the back of his head, pr
obably in his early to mid-thirties. He had a bespectacled, boyish round face with very black hair and looked as though he had been miserable and desperate for so long that he had come to accept it as his natural state. He was very properly dressed in a dark dress shirt and khaki pants that had probably been ironed when he put them on, but he looked as though that had been quite some time ago. And the man looked as worn out as his clothes. And to Aunty Lee’s sharp nose, he smelled hungry.
‘When was the last time you ate something?’ Aunty Lee asked.
‘What?’
‘Drive me back to where you picked me up,’ Aunty Lee said. ‘You can park in front, also free. I will get you something to eat.’
‘Look, first you tell me to drive away from there, then you tell me to find somewhere and park. Now you want me to drive you back … crazy lah, you.’
‘I had to get away from that man in my shop, but he will have left by now. And I wanted to take a good look at you, to see whether you can be trusted or not. I want to trust you, but I can’t trust somebody who doesn’t eat properly. If you cannot take care of your body how can you take care of anything else? You can keep my fifty dollars. How much would you earn following Jonny Ho around?’
‘Julietta was my girlfriend, my fiancée,’ Seetoh said. ‘If she wouldn’t run away with me she would never run away with somebody else. That guy did something to her, and I am going to get him for it if it’s the last thing I do!’
Some people fall in love regularly. For them the state of being hopelessly in love is more important than the hims or hers they are in love with. Often this is sensed by those hims and hers, so this kind of love often remains hopeless, suiting all involved. Aunty Lee fell in love with couples. She did not want to marry again – her late, beloved M. L. was still very much a part of her life – but she missed him. And the only way she knew of dealing with her loneliness was to fix up other people so she could enjoy their togetherness. Nina had refused her advice, but now Aunty Lee had found a new project,
