by Noelle Adams
She didn’t need to see that this morning.
She dumped her pile of jewelry on the counter as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Morning,” Lucas said, sounding friendly and casual.
What was he even doing up this early?
And why did he have to sound so awake? Awake and masculine. Awake and masculine and sexy.
First thing on a Monday morning.
She did her best to suppress a snarl.
“You’re running late,” Michelle said, without looking up from her laptop. “Did you oversleep?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jill was trying to drink her coffee and put on her earnings, bracelets, necklace, and rings at the same time.
Lucas was watching her with laid-back interest in his green eyes.
She tried not to snarl at him again.
His eyebrows went up slightly, and she realized she must not have done a good job at the suppression.
She turned her back to him, reaching into the cupboard for a breakfast bar. She preferred to eat cereal, but she didn’t have time this morning. She kept her back to Lucas as she gulped down more of her coffee.
“You missed a button.”
She stiffened, glancing over her shoulder to verify that Lucas had been talking to her. “What?”
“You missed a button.” He gestured toward her dress. “You want me to get it?”
“I can get it,” she gritted out, contorting her arms until she could feel which button on the back of her dress was undone. Discovering it, she stretched her shoulders painfully so she could button it.
When she glanced back over at Lucas, she saw that his mouth was tilted up slightly.
He was laughing at her. Silently but definitely laughing.
She didn’t try to hide her snarl this time.
He didn’t have to be up and dressed and at work by eight in the morning. He didn’t have to sit there in her kitchen, looking smug and gorgeous and amused and irresistibly rumpled when she could barely pull it together.
What kind of malicious turn of fate had made him her roommate at all?
When she’d managed her button, she poured more coffee into her cup and took it with her, grabbing her bag on her way out as she left.
She did remember to mumble out a “See you later,” before she closed the door.
It was just the first Monday morning of Lucas living in her apartment.
It was going to be a long six months.
ON WEDNESDAY EVENING, Jill was sitting at a table in Tea for Two with Michelle and Chloe when she saw Steve standing outside on the sidewalk, waving to get their attention.
She said, “Michelle,” and pointed toward the glass storefront.
Steve and Michelle had a silent conversation made up of hand gestures and facial expressions while Jill laughed in amusement.
“Why won’t he just come in and talk to her?” Chloe asked.
Chloe was gorgeous in a wild, artistic way with thick, wavy hair and very dark eyes. She was as loud and dramatic as Jill was quiet and contained. Jill had met both her and Michelle at events on campus she’d attended with Ted shortly after they’d moved to Blacksburg, and the three had been friends ever since.
“He won’t ever come into Tea for Two,” Jill explained, surprised that Chloe wasn’t already familiar with this particular running joke. “Says it’s too girly.”
“Seriously?” Chloe’s eyes were wide.
“Yeah. He’s mostly just joking, but he never comes in here.”
Michelle had finished her wordless conversation, and Steve disappeared from the sidewalk outside.
“What was that all about?” Chloe asked her.
“He’s going to the bookstore. Doesn’t know how long he’ll be.”
“How are things going with you two this week?” Chloe asked in a different tone.
Michelle made a face. “Pretty good, I’d say. We’ve only argued six or seven times.”
Despite the light words, there was an edge to Michelle’s tone that worried Jill. Her friend had sounded almost resigned, as if she were so tired she was on the verge of giving up. “You want to talk about it?” she asked.
Michelle shook her head. “Don’t have the energy tonight. Let’s talk about something easier.”
“Let’s talk about Lucas!” Chloe exclaimed. “Tell me all about him.”
“You met him,” Jill said carefully, praying with everything in her soul that Chloe wouldn’t have a thing for Lucas. She wasn’t sure how she would deal with that.
“Only once and just for a few minutes. I want to know more about him.”
“There’s not much to know. He doesn’t have a job. He just hangs around all day and does not much of anything.” Jill was trying to sound uninterested, but she ended up sounding a little bitter.
“He’s not bad,” Michelle said, shooting Jill a quick look. “He cleans up after himself, and he’ll do any favor you ask him. He’s a nice guy. I like him.”
“But you don’t like him, Jill?” Chloe asked, her eyes very sharp, very knowing.
Jill shrugged. “He’s okay. I don’t know him very well.”
“She won’t even stay in the same room as him,” Michelle put in.
“That’s not true!”
“Yes, it is,” Michelle said, sipping the last of her Earl Grey. “You don’t hang out in the living room anymore. You come home from work and hide in your room.”
“It’s just been a couple of days.” Jill felt defensive because Michelle was absolutely right. She’d been avoiding Lucas as much as possible. It just felt awkward around him, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
“Yeah, but you live up there. It’s your home. You can’t always be on guard just because you don’t know him very well.”
“I know. I’ll get used to it. It’s just been a couple of days.”
She hadn’t told her friends about what had happened with Lucas. She didn’t normally keep secrets from them, but it felt like so much, so deep. It was too big for her to talk about, so she’d tried to pack all the feelings up and stuff them into a safe little corner of her mind.
“He’s really a nice guy,” Michelle said. “Just try to get to know him. I’m sure you’ll get comfortable around him soon. As it is, he thinks you don’t like him.”
Jill’s eyes widened. “Did he say something?”
“No, but he notices every time you leave the room. I see him watching you. I guarantee he thinks you don’t like him.”
“Ooh,” Chloe said with a little smile. “That’s interesting. He watches her. Is there potential there, do you think?”
“No!” Jill’s response was too quick, too sharp. She saw the surprise on her friends’ faces. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It’s just that there’s definitely no potential. He doesn’t have a job. He doesn’t take life seriously. He just kind of… drifts around. There’s no way we could ever be in a relationship.”
“No,” Michelle agreed. “It doesn’t seem like you two would be a good fit.”
“Oh well,” Chloe said with an exaggerated sigh. “He sure is good-looking though. At least he’s a little eye candy.”
Despite her mixed feelings for Lucas, Jill immediately bristled at the term. “He’s not eye candy. He’s not just a hot body. He’s a person. A human being.”
“I know,” Chloe said, her eyebrows arching again. “I didn’t mean he wasn’t.”
Jill groaned and slouched back in her chair. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean that. I wasn’t intending to attack you. I’m just trying to explain why it feels awkward. He’s a man, a real live human being. And he’s always there, living in my home.”
“Yeah. So that means you need to get to know him. That’s the only way you’re going to feel comfortable with him.”
Michelle was right. Jill knew she was.
But that wasn’t the only problem.
The problem was that it felt like Jill already knew Lucas.
She k
new him and she really liked him.
And she wanted to have sex with him again.
But she’d meant what she told her friends. There was no real potential for Lucas to become her forever man.
He didn’t want to be anyone’s forever.
He was her roommate, and that was all he could ever be to her now.
LUCAS WAS SURPRISED to discover that he liked having roommates.
He’d accepted Steve’s invitation to move in because he’d wanted to move somewhere else—anywhere else—and he always went wherever the tide took him. Steve’s was the first offer, so he accepted it. He’d had roommates in college, but since then he’d always lived alone or briefly with Carly, his former fiancée. Having roommates was different. It felt like a step backward in some way.
But at the end of his first week in the apartment, Lucas was realizing that he really liked it.
The apartment itself was big and airy and comfortable. He liked the older features and the updated kitchen and bathrooms. He also liked how fixed up it was—with little touches like prints on the walls, throw blankets on the sofas, a vase that Jill always kept filled with fresh flowers. It wasn’t fussy or uncomfortable. It was warm. Soft. He liked to look at it, and he knew Jill was the one who kept it that way.
She liked having a home, and she worked to make the place feel so nice.
Lucas appreciated it—since most of the time now he lived in generic hotels or half-empty studio apartments.
In his first week in Blacksburg, he did the normal things. He bought a few pieces he needed for his bedroom. He found a good gym to join so he could work out every day. And he explored the town and surrounding areas. Blacksburg wasn’t a city, but it was a decent-sized town, and because of the university, there were plenty of things to do. The rural mountain counties surrounding it were scenic and offered a lot of hiking and fishing and activities on the New River.
Lucas liked it. He wasn’t surprised Jill had decided to settle here after wandering for so much of her life.
But Lucas didn’t just like the apartment and the area. He also liked having people around.
It was different to wake up and have people to say hello to and to return to. To have people to chat with at all hours. Steve had been a good friend in college, and he was a still a great guy. He worked really hard but had a fairly relaxed attitude about everything else. And Michelle was smart and serious and the least judgmental person he’d ever met.
And Jill…
Jill didn’t seem to want to hang out with him much, and it was bothering him more than it should.
He understood feeling awkward about the fact that they’d had sex and then become roommates. But he’d been going out of his way to make her comfortable, and she still barely said ten words to him at any one time.
They’d had a good time together.
They’d really gotten along on that one night they’d shared.
He was sure they could get along again if she would just give him the chance.
Sure, he spent about half the time imagining her in bed with him, but he hadn’t acted on it. He could be a decent guy when he needed to be. He could respect the boundaries she’d set.
She could at least give him the opportunity to prove that.
It bothered him that she was so standoffish.
A lot.
On Friday, he’d wandered around town until he’d found a farmers’ market, and he’d bought some good fruits and vegetables. He’d had the urge to cook something—he did like to play around in the kitchen when he wasn’t feeling too lazy—so he’d started to experiment with vegetables, pasta, and sausage. He thought he might go out later and try to find a bar that wasn’t filled with college students, but it was early yet. Not even seven in the evening.
Jill wasn’t home yet.
She usually got home by five thirty or six, so he wondered what was keeping her.
Maybe she had a date.
He didn’t like that idea.
At all.
Just because he was resolved to be a decent guy with her didn’t mean he wanted her to hook up with some other guy while he was standing here in the kitchen, wondering when she was going to get home.
Michelle and Steve were home and in their bedroom. Probably either arguing or having sex. That was what they seemed to do whenever one or both of them weren’t working.
At least they weren’t loud about it.
Okay, sometimes they were loud about arguing, but they kept it quiet in bed.
He figured they’d probably come out again in time to have some dinner. They liked when he fixed something. He was a pretty good cook.
Jill would probably like his food too if she bothered to come home.
He realized he was being petty and unreasonable, so he tried to talk himself out of it as he added more cream to the gorgonzola sauce he was making.
He had no claim on Jill. None whatsoever.
And if it felt like he did, that was his problem. Not hers.
She could date or screw or marry any guy she wanted, and he had absolutely no reason to complain.
He almost jumped when he heard a key turning in the lock.
She was home.
He glanced back as she entered, catching her shoulders slumping and her head lowering as she put her bag on the floor where she always kept it. She was wearing a short plaid skirt, her tall boots, and a soft sweater that was very thin and very tight. If her legs weren’t enough of a temptation in that skirt, the sweater pushed it over the top. Her rounded breasts were very clearly outlined by the fitted material.
They looked big and firm and irresistibly soft in that sweater.
Lucas found himself imagining what he would do with those breasts before he realized what he was visualizing. He pushed the thought out of his mind and said, “Hey there. You okay?”
She was still standing there, looking tired and strangely defeated.
He saw what happened. He saw her make herself straighten up. He saw her force a smile on her face. He saw her put on a pose for him rather than acting the way she really felt.
“Yeah,” she said in an almost convincing tone. “I’m fine.” She walked over to the kitchen area, her eyes taking in his jeans, T-shirt, and bare feet and then the herbs on the cutting board and sauce in the pan. “That looks good.”
“Hopefully. Are you hungry?” He saw she was about to decline his offer, so he continued, “I made way too much, and I don’t know if Steve and Michelle are going to ever come out of their room again.”
Jill’s blue eyes strayed over to the hallway. “Are they fighting again?”
“They were earlier. Not sure if they still are or not.”
“Ah.” Jill’s cheeks grew slightly pink, and Lucas knew she was thinking about sex.
That knowledge wasn’t good for his own attempt to keep his mind on the straight and narrow.
He stirred his sauce and reminded himself he was going to be a nice guy. He wasn’t going to be pushy and try to get her into bed again when that wasn’t what she wanted.
He was capable of controlling himself. He had sex all the time.
One hot night with her wasn’t going to change everything.
When she hefted herself up onto a stool at the counter, he was ridiculously pleased. It seemed like she was actually going to hang out with him tonight.
“Bad day at work?” he asked lightly, noticing again that when she thought he wasn’t looking, her eyes were heavy and her expression was tired.
“Eh.”
“What does eh mean?”
“It means… eh.”
“Does that mean work was eh or your desire to talk to me about it is eh?” He’d bought a bottle of red wine from a local vineyard at the farmers’ market, and he picked it up, starting to hunt for a corkscrew in the drawers.
“It’s in the one by the refrigerator,” Jill told him.
He turned around, opened the drawer, and found the corkscrew. Jill reached beneath her for two wineglasses that wer
e hanging on hooks above the wine rack built into the island.
As he poured the wine out, he prompted, “You never answered my question.”
Jill was silent for a minute until she accepted the glass of wine he offered her. After taking a sip, she said, “I guess both. Work was eh. Telling you about it is eh.”
“I thought we got along pretty well. Before, I mean.” He spoke as lightly as he could, although he was seriously invested in her response.
Far too invested. It triggered little alarm bells in the back of his mind.
Being invested meant he was vulnerable.
Being vulnerable meant he was weak.
Being weak meant he got hurt.
“I know,” Jill said softly. “We did get along.”
“But?”
She opened her mouth. Closed again. Then said, slightly hoarse, “I keep thinking about you and sex.”
He was briefly surprised she was so direct, so honest. Then he realized he shouldn’t be surprised. That was her nature. Hiding from him the way she’d been this week wasn’t.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked, trying to keep the edge of heat out of his voice but not entirely succeeding.
Her cheeks flushed again, more deeply this time, and she dropped her eyes as she sipped her wine. “You know what’s wrong with that. We don’t… we don’t want the same things.”
She was right. She was entirely right.
She wanted a forever man. She wanted a long-term relationship, and he didn’t.
He really didn’t.
He could never be a forever man.
He felt an intense kick of disappointment at that acknowledgment, and his voice reflected it as he replied, “No. I guess we don’t.”
“So it wouldn’t be smart for us to have sex again, but it’s hard for me to… to not think about it.”
He was glad he wasn’t the only one whose thoughts kept going astray. “Yeah. I know the feeling.”
Her eyes darted up and then back down, and she blushed even more.
He took a deep breath, pushing past the sudden urge to grab her, kiss her, take her hard and fast right there against the counter. “We had a lot to say to each other before we got into bed. So maybe we could still… talk to each other.”
