by Aileen Erin
First Published by Ink Monster, LLC in 2015
Ink Monster, LLC
34 Chandler Place
Newton, MA 02464
www.inkmonster.net
ISBN 9780990635277
Copyright © 2015 by Ink Monster LLC
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Also by Aileen Erin
The Alpha Girl Series
Becoming Alpha
Avoiding Alpha
Alpha Divided
Bruja
Alpha Unleashed
The Shadow Ravens Series
Cipher
Coming Soon – The Ghost Society Series
Invocation
For Jeremy.
Thank you for being my rock. I can’t do it without you.
I love you the most.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
To My Readers
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Chapter One
Ice-cold water rained down on my head. Someone was screaming.
“Tessa! Wake up!” The command rolled through my mental bond to Dastien, and I gasped.
Blinking the water out of my eyes, I tried to figure out how I’d gotten in the shower. It took a second for my sight to clear. Meredith’s crystal blue gaze stared down at me.
I reached for the knob with a shaking hand and turned it all the way hot. “Jesus. That’s the fifth night in a row.” My voice wobbled.
Hands held me against a hard chest, and I knew from the feel of him Dastien was holding me under the stream. This had become a necessary part of our nighttime routine.
He kissed the top of my head. “You scared me this time. I almost had to get the doctor.”
“No! Don’t do that. Ever. She’ll come at me with one of her shots.” If there was anything that would turn this bad situation worse, it was Dr. Gonzales and her little messenger bag of horrors.
“Do you remember what you were dreaming?” Meredith asked. She sat next to the tub in our small shared bathroom.
I shook my head slowly. Every night had been like this since I escaped from la Aquelarre’s compound. I hoped it was some sort of PTSD, but the fear that still coursed through my veins made me think it was something more. Something worse.
I only remembered pieces of my dreams—hints of blood and terror—but nothing concrete enough to tell her. My visions had never been so vague, but they’d been changing ever since Dastien bit me, turning me into a werewolf. For a while, I hadn’t seen anything. I thought they were gone for good. Then, the visions came back, but only when I focused on trying to have one. And then—weirdest of all—I’d started seeing stuff that happened in the future.
The only thing I’d seen since Luciana stripped me of magic was about Peru. If I’d gone instead of Claudia, everyone at St. Ailbe’s would’ve died.
I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. “Do you smell that?”
Dastien ran his hand across my forehead, pushing the hair out of my eyes. “Smell what?”
“Sulfur.”
Meredith and Dastien stilled for a moment.
Shit. If the smell was part of my “dream,” then I was either dreaming of my last run-in with Luciana or whatever she was cooking up for next time. “You aren’t smelling anything?”
“No, cherie. I don’t smell anything but you right now.” He turned the knob, shutting off the water, and then stood up, pulling me with him. “Let’s get into some dry clothes. Then we’ll talk, because pretending this isn’t happening isn’t working.” Water dripped on the floor as he moved. His T-shirt clung to his body like a second skin, showing off each ripple in his muscles. He stripped off his shirt and threw it in the tub with a wet plop before wrapping himself in a towel. Then he grabbed a second towel from the rack and turned to me, holding it open.
I closed the distance between us, and let his warmth sink into me. He was right. Ignoring whatever was up with me wasn’t working. Not even a little bit. But talking about this stuff made it real, and it was so much easier pretending that the last few weeks never happened.
That I’d never gone to stay with the coven. That my powers hadn’t been stripped and stuck in two stupid jars. That Daniel was still alive, Raphael had never been attacked, and Claudia was still here.
Tears welled but I refused to let them fall on principle. A pity party wouldn’t solve any of my problems. I blinked them away as I thought about what could be causing my nightmares.
I followed Dastien into my room.
“Holler when you’re dressed.” Meredith left our adjoining bathroom for her room, closing the door behind her.
“Sure thing,” I mumbled, still too caught up in my own thoughts to really focus on anything. The first time it happened, Dastien and I had torn up his cabin searching for a gris-gris. We hadn’t found anything that looked remotely cursed, so I thought it was a just a really bad dream.
But five nights in a row…
Dastien grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and quickly pulled them on. “Do you want me to help you get changed?”
My cheeks burned. “I’ve got it.” Even if he was my mate, we hadn’t gone through the whole bonding ceremony yet. He was determined not to cross the line until we did, but we were True Mates. Two halves of one soul. So, we already had somewhat of a bond. With it, we could talk silently to each other, feel each other’s emotions, and I could see where he was when we were apart—but that last one wasn’t a normal mate thing. That was an enhancement my witchy-ness provided.
I dug through my closet as Dastien turned his back, a gentleman to the end. After stripping off the wet stuff and tossing it in my hamper, I pulled on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank.
When I turned back, I blinked at the sight of the rainbow tie-dyed throw pillow in the center of my bed—the color was shocking compared to the painful whiteness of my room. Before I became a Were, I needed to be able to bleach my things free of any vision-inducing elements, so white had always been more about practicality than an aesthetic choice. The pillow was the first decoration I’d gotten since I gained control of my visions. Now, I wanted to hurl it across the room.
I wasn’t in control anymore.
Dastien reclined on my bed, and I crawled up next to him, hugging the rainbow pillow to my chest as I tried to hold it together. “We’re dressed,” I yelled.
Meredith peeked in and her hair fell forward. Her current dye job was black with streaks of hot pink. It looked fantastic against her pale, white skin. She was tall and thin, built like a runway model. On any other person, it might’ve been intimidating, but Meredith was my first friend here. My best friend, besides Dastien.
“So, what’s the deal with the night terrors?” She asked.
“I don’t know.” I picked at the seams of the pillow as I tried to come up with an answer that had some substance. How could I forget something that affected me so much? Even now, all I could remember was the smell of sulfur. And the fear.
“What about your visions?”
“Still MIA.” Although, I had a theory about what was happening. Not a great theory, but one in general. Worry gnawed in my gut, but I had to voice my fears. “Maybe having my magic taken out and put back in changed things.”
She sat on the foot of my bed. “But you don’t think they’re gone for good?”
“No. The magic is there. I felt it come back when the jars broke, but I wonder… No. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Dastien said. “Just tell us. We can’t help if you won’t talk to us.”
“The thing is…” Crap. I wasn’t even sure how to put this in words. “I feel it building in me sometimes. That little tingle that means a vision is coming the way it did before you bit me. But then the feeling goes away. Now, I’m wondering if I’m pushing it away. Maybe what I’m seeing is really bad, and I don’t want to see it? Maybe my mind is protecting myself? Only—”
“That makes sense,” Dastien said. “You can’t contain that kind of magic. It has to come out somehow. So, nightmares.”
“Which does me no good.” I tucked a strand of wet hair behind my ear as I processed my thoughts. “I mean, visions that I can’t see are useless.” And I’d never needed to see the future more than I did now. There were too many alphas on campus to agree on a course of action, and half of them thought that holding tight was the best plan. Which meant we were left sitting around like a bunch of morons, waiting for Luciana to make her next move.
Stupid. So freaking stupid. Not to mention frustrating. I hated doing nothing.
All the kids at school were on edge. Classes were canceled, but everyone was running the Cazadores’ obstacle course and training like they knew what was coming. The Cazadores patrolled at night, but walked through campus like God’s gift during the day. The alphas that had gathered—some of the ruling Seven alphas were here with other key alphas from around the world—spent their days arguing in the conference room, accomplishing absolutely nothing. Fights broke out every few hours as the tension brought out the wolves in all of us.
In other words, the pack was a hot mess, and it didn’t look like anything was going to change any time soon. Not unless I changed it.
“If I could figure out what I was seeing, then maybe we could actually start doing something.” I threw the pillow across the room in frustration. Maybe lack of sleep was making everything worse, but I couldn’t shake the sense of danger. “Are the Cazadores still watching my parents and brother?”
Dastien grunted. “Of course. They’re protected around the clock. Just like you wanted.”
“And Tia Rosa—”
“Left yesterday for her family’s estate in Mexico. Remember?”
“Right.” My great aunt had wanted to get far away from Luciana. At least that worry was gone. My family was safe. Whatever the vision was—it was about me.
“I know this isn’t ideal, but the Seven say we wait, so we wait,” Dastien said.
“Donovan doesn’t agree with that, does he?” I asked Meredith. She was True Mates with Donovan, one of the Council of Seven alphas that ruled over all packs. I wished he were here, but tonight was his turn for the wee-hours patrol.
“No.” She drew out the word. “But apparently he doesn’t always agree with them. And since you and I are friends, they think Donovan isn’t a fair judge of the situation.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Right?” Meredith shouted the word. “That’s exactly what I said.”
“I have to figure out what I’m dreaming.” If it was the past tormenting me, then I could deal with it. And if it was something that was going to happen, at least we could prepare.
“How?” Dastien asked.
That was the question. “I don’t know.”
“We could try yoga.” Meredith led the afternoon yoga sessions. I’d gone to a few when I first got to St. Ailbe’s, but hadn’t had time in a while. “It’s very centering.”
She might be right. At this point, I’d juggle oranges while hopping on one foot and singing the ABC’s if it’d fix me. “Okay.”
“And if that doesn’t work, maybe tiring your body out while you’re awake will give your mind a chance to relax,” Dastien said. “Either way, you need more sparring practice.”
I rolled my eyes. This had become a thing with him. All the Weres had been training to fight their whole lives and Dastien was one of the best Cazadores—the Were fighters who hunted everything that went bump in the night. I’d say it pained him that I was so bad at fighting, but I knew the only reason it bothered him was because he wanted me to be able to defend myself. Which was probably a good thing, considering.
“Fine. A little gym time won’t kill me. I’ve been spending too much time digging through old books anyhow.” I drummed my fingers against my leg. The only productive thing I’d been able to do was cook up potions. I had a whole pile of vials on my desk, just waiting for the next attack. “And if that doesn’t work?”
“We’ll go for a run. Shift.” Meredith sat on the edge of my bed. “We keep trying stuff until something works. You have to get out of your own way. Just break free from your thoughts and relax, and I’m sure your visions will come back.”
Just relax. Easier said than done these days.
As soon as I thought I had a grip on my powers, they changed again. Even if they were working normally—whatever that meant—Tia Rosa had made it clear that visions of the future couldn’t be controlled. They’d come or they wouldn’t.
She said I had to have faith.
Well, I had plenty of faith, but in myself?
Not so much. Not anymore.
Chapter Two
I did an hour of yoga with Meredith, but all I felt was exhausted. She wanted to do a long meditation after, but there was no way I wanted to fall asleep and go straight into another nightmare. So, Dastien got his way.
After two hours of martial arts training and zero visions, people started filtering into the gym. That was my cue to get the hell out. I was used to being watched—stared at—but ever since Luciana had stripped me, the attention made me anxious… Which in turn made me feel weak. It was dumb. There was no reason to feel this way, but I couldn’t control it. Dastien said that I hadn’t had time to deal with my emotions, but the problem was that I wouldn’t have time anytime soon.
Eventually I’d find a way to process all of it. I might even make some therapist rich with how much help I needed. For now, I needed to focus on digging out whatever vision was taking up all the room in my subconscious.
After yet another shower—this one much warmer than the last—I decided food was very much a necessity. Dastien had stayed behind to train with Cazadores, but I figured he’d end up at the cafeteria before too long. If I was hungry, he had to be, too.
In case no one else was eating, I grabbed a book on magic and headed across the well-manicured quad to the squat brick building that held the cafeteria. I passed two sophomore Weres. I wasn’t paying attention to them until one shoved the other. They shredded their clothes as they shifted to their wolf forms—snarling and swiping claws at each other.
One of them let out a yelp of pain, and I froze.
I had two choices. Keep walking and let them work it out, or step in and stop the fight.
Screw it. I’d had enough of the constant fighting. “Knock it off.” I yelled the command at them, backed with a healthy dose of alpha power. The wolves froze. “Jesus. No more fighting. You’re like a bunch of cranky toddlers.” They rolled over, showing me their soft underbellies. I took that as agreement the fight would end there. “Have a nice day, boys,” I said as I started back across the quad.
But still, this was getting ridiculous. If the alphas didn’t come to some sort of agreement
soon, I was worried what would happen to the pack. These little fights among the students were yet another glaring example of their division rippling through the pack bonds.
Someone had to step in and make some real decisions soon or there’d be no pack left to fight Luciana.
I braced myself as I opened the door to the cafeteria, hoping that Meredith or Donovan would be inside. Chris was definitely still in the gym. He’d come in as I was leaving. But I hadn’t seen Meredith, and she wasn’t in our suite. Adrian was probably out running the Cazadores course yet again. That thing was a beast of obstacles, but he was determined to beat the challenge time. To become some ultimate fighter.
The scent of waffles, omelets, bacon, fruit, and some sort of sweet pastry filled the air. I’d definitely need to hunt one of those pastries down. They weren’t an everyday thing, but man, when the chef made them, they were to die for.
As I moved through the room, conversations went silent. Of the thirty or so round tables, only one was completely full. Joseph’s little clique. His dad was the Alpha of the Canadian pack, and he thought that made him God’s gift to the world. Ever since Mr. Hoel died, they’d separated themselves. I hadn’t noticed until I literally bumped into one of them, and couldn’t feel their connection to the pack. I’d brought it up to Mr. Dawson and the rest of the group, but no one was doing anything about it. No one seemed the least bit concerned.
But I knew in my bones that they were going to be trouble. If not now, then soon.
The group at the table had grown today. They had two girls sitting with them—a blonde and a red head. My gaze stuck on the blonde. Something about the way she moved her hand…
If that’s Imogene, then—
She turned, and I got a full look at her face.
Shit. That was Imogene Hoel. Just fantastic. Her father was part of the reason our pack was so fractured. If she was sitting with those guys, then this was definitely more of a problem than I’d thought.
And now I wanted to kick myself. I’d stuck up for her when they were going to boot her out of the pack… Which was one of the stupidest things I’d ever done. It’d seemed right at the time, but apparently it was coming back to bite me in the ass.
