“I don’t want to be here!” she sobbed, sounding so scared and heartbroken, my pulse started racing. Whatever she was seeing in her dreams, I wanted to fucking destroy for her.
“Ro!” I shook her shoulders, and her eyes finally blinked open.
She was shaking, glancing around the darkened room with pure terror on her face. “S-S-Sin?”
I kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, sweet girl. I’m here. I got you. Nothing’s going to hurt you as long as I’m around.”
Slowly, she began to relax, and I moved to lie beside her. She turned so she was able to pillow her head on my chest and hug my waist. I stayed quiet, letting her get her head straight while I rubbed her back. If she wanted to tell me about it, that had to be her choice. I wouldn’t make her tell me if she wasn’t ready.
“It’s the same dream every time,” she whispered once her shaking finally stopped. “And it’s so scary because…it’s a memory.”
I kissed the top of her head, telling her without words that I was there, that I was listening.
“Almost every night, for months, Sicko Stan would come into my room. I hated it. I hated—hate—him. But…as long as he was coming into my room, that meant he left the other girls alone, y’know?”
“Yeah, baby. I know. You wanted to protect them.”
“Yeah.” She blew out a tired sigh. “Genesis and London were already living in the house. The week before, he’d tried to go into London’s room, and she puked all over him. Her ability to puke on command came in handy that night. It saved her, and he didn’t try again. I was kind of jealous of her after that.”
“The dream—is that the night it stopped? Is that when Aubree and the others saved you?”
After a small hesitation, she nodded. “He came into my room, and I was so tired, so sick of everything. I kept crying, begging to be anywhere else but there. He was drunk, though, so he didn’t seem to care that I was screaming. Maybe that got him off or whatever, I don’t know, but he didn’t seem too worried that I would wake up the other girls or even his wife. Normally, he would put his hand over my mouth if I started crying.”
My gut clenched as those visuals filled my head. Fuck, I wanted to kill that monster with my bare hands.
“His drunkenness made him rougher, and he hurt me that night. I was…bleeding.” Her arm tightened around me, her face burrowing in my chest. “He laughed because he thought I was pregnant and that he was killing the baby. Getting rid of the proof of what he’d been doing to me.”
“Were you?” I choked out.
“No,” she whispered and shivered at the bad memory. “I was lucky, I guess.”
I was relieved.
That she hadn’t had to go through the trauma of a miscarriage like Kassa had.
That she hadn’t had to carry that monster’s spawn inside of her when she’d already been through so much.
That she didn’t have to associate having a baby with the man who stole so many other things from her.
“But even though I told him I wasn’t pregnant, that I got my period, he wouldn’t believe me. He started hitting me, and that got him… Yeah. He was on top of me when the girls came in, screaming so loud the neighbors heard and called the cops. Genesis and London grabbed him by the arms and pulled them behind his back so hard, he screamed in pain. It woke up some of the other girls, and they came running to see what was going on. By then, Aubree had already cut him, and there was blood everywhere. It was hard for the medics to figure out what was his blood and what was mine when they tried to clean me up.”
“I don’t like those three most of the time, Ro,” I told her honestly. “But I will always tolerate them because they saved you.”
She lifted her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “Thank you. They’re my soul sisters. They mean everything to me. If it weren’t for them, I’m pretty sure he would have killed me that night.”
I cupped her cheek, wanting to kiss her so damn bad, but afraid it would make her uncomfortable after reliving all those bad memories. “I’m sorry that happened, baby. I hate that you had to go through any of it. If I could change it for you, I would.”
Her hand covered mine. “I know you would. I wish I could change what happened to you with your stepmom, too.”
Not wanting to think about Brandi when I had perfection in my arms, I pulled Roanna back down on my chest and kissed the top of her head. “Try to sleep, Ro. I’ll be right here if you have another nightmare. I’ll protect you.”
But as much as I didn’t want to think about my stepmom and the ugly past, my mind couldn’t push any of it out. For the longest time afterward, my dad had acted like he hated me. Like it was my fault his wife got bored with him and decided to turn me into her sex toy.
For years, I thought it was my fault, too.
It took a while before I could admit to myself that what she did was the definition of statutory rape. Guys didn’t get raped—or so I’d told myself. I was willing; she didn’t do anything I didn’t want her to—again, that was what I told myself. She was in her twenties; I was a horny fifteen-year-old with sex on tap whenever I wanted it.
I hated her, and I showed her how much every time I fucked her. It only made her want me more. She liked how rough I was, how I only seemed to want to hurt her even as I was getting off inside her. It was sick, and I began to hate myself for it. All the shit I’d pulled in the past seemed like child’s play compared to how I started acting out.
I wanted someone to notice that I wasn’t okay, that I didn’t want to go home because I couldn’t stop what happened when Brandi touched me. I lost control. I fucked her even when I tried not to. When I locked the door and turned up the music so I didn’t hear her out in the hall, telling me how good I was at licking her cunt, she would find a way to get the door open and, within minutes, be on my dick.
And because my cock got hard for her, I thought it was my fault. I didn’t think of myself as a victim because I didn’t know I was one.
I didn’t want to be one.
Then Dad caught us one night after she snuck into my bedroom. I was asleep and woke up to her on me, my cock already hard and inside of her. I shouted for her to get the fuck off me, not realizing what time it was or that Dad was home.
Or maybe I did and just wanted it over with.
I still wasn’t sure.
But Dad was suddenly in the doorway, watching his wife ride my cock even as I was yelling at the bitch to get away from me.
I’d never seen him get so pissed, never seen him raise a hand to Mom or even Brandi before that day. But he grabbed her by the back of her hair, pulling her off me, and throwing her across the room. He told her to pack her shit and get out, and I almost cried in relief that night because she did.
It was over.
I didn’t have to worry about coming home because she wouldn’t be there anymore.
I could sleep. I could do whatever the hell I wanted, and she wouldn’t be there to jump me anytime she wanted.
But Dad stopped talking to me after that. For years, we were like strangers living in the same house. We never ate together, barely grunted at each other in passing. And I was okay with that. Because even though I thought it was my fault, I knew it was his fault too.
It wasn’t until later, when the high school had an assembly on rape, that I realized what Brandi had done was considered statutory rape. That even if I was willing, I was too young to give consent. But I kept quiet, not even telling my two best friends.
Who would have believed me anyway?
I was a guy.
Guys don’t get raped.
At least, that was what everyone thought.
Besides, it would have been embarrassing as hell. I would get laughed at, and then people would call me a little pussy because I’d let Brandi fuck me. Maybe she would cry rape too, because I’d never been gentle with her. There were times I even left bruises on her.
No fucking way was I going to give h
er a chance to turn the tables and for me to end up behind bars because of that damn bitch.
So I let it rot inside me, pushing the memories down until they were just dark shadows that tried to creep back in and suffocate me. But when I met Roanna, I didn’t let myself think about the negatives of admitting what Brandi did to me. All I wanted to do was show her she wasn’t alone.
And maybe—just maybe—I’d wanted her to believe me and not laugh.
My sweet girl wanted to change that for me just as much as I wanted to change it for her.
“Ro,” I whispered her name. “I love you, sweet girl.”
She sighed then began to snore softly.
Grinning, I tucked her closer and shut my eyes. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me,” I said quietly, giving in to sleep.
Chapter 22
Sin
Lifting my beer to my lips, I watched as Roanna inspected the small slice of steak I’d cut off my New York Strip and placed on her plate.
After I woke up to her curled against me like a well-satisfied cat, we spent the entire morning in bed. Around noon, I finally forced myself to get up and feed her, but not before showing her just how huge my shower was and how good it felt to ride my cock with the heat of the water spraying down on us.
I took her home after lunch, but only so she could change her clothes and grab an overnight bag.
Now we were having dinner, and she was completing her part of our little wager. I sang her song with her; now she had to eat a piece of meat.
With a heavy sigh, she finally picked up the steak with her fork and slowly brought it to her lips.
Before she could put it into her mouth, I grasped her wrist and brought the fork to my lips. Chewing the perfectly grilled beef, I winked down at her.
“But I promised,” she started to protest.
“You looked like it was physically hurting you just thinking about eating that, sweet girl.” I leaned in closer, touching my lips to her ear. “Suck my cock later, and we’ll call it even.”
Pink filled her cheeks, but excitement filled her eyes. “O-Okay,” she breathed, leaning into my lips as I kissed my way down her neck.
Under the table, I touched her bare leg, stroking the inside of her thigh with my thumb. I’d never seen her in a dress before. When she stood up, the hem barely covered her ass, pulling eyes to her and driving me crazy with jealousy. As we’d walked through the restaurant earlier, I’d been tempted to knock out half the other patrons just for looking at her.
That was my ass to look at, my legs to have wrapped around my waist, and my pussy to slide into later.
Forever, if I had anything to do with it.
But as soon as we were seated in the booth in the back, I took full advantage of the length of her skirt and slid in beside her so I could rub my rough fingers over her silky smoothness as much as I wanted.
“You ready to get out of here?” I asked, biting into her earlobe, making her breath hitch.
“So ready,” she moaned.
Lifting my head, I singled the waiter for the check. A minute later, the black book was placed on the table. Pulling a few bills from my wallet to cover our meal and a tip, I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the booth with me.
Outside, I handed over my valet ticket before turning her in my arms to kiss her senseless.
My phone ringing had her stepping back, a shy smile on her kiss-swollen lips. “You should answer that.”
Exhaling heavily, I pulled out my phone. Seeing Kale’s name, I grunted and answered. “Yeah?”
“Gray and I are headed out. Want to grab a few beers with us?”
I stroked my hand down Roanna’s back. “I’m out with Ro.”
“Bring her. Santana and Kassa are coming too.”
I pulled the phone back from my mouth. “Babe, you up to having drinks?” She nodded. “Yeah, okay, Kale. Text me where you’re going, and we will meet you there.”
As the attendant pulled up my car beside us, I opened Roanna’s door for her. She climbed in, and I bent to kiss her before going around to tip the guy waiting with my door open. The minute I pulled into traffic, I was reaching for her hand, entwining our fingers and resting them on my thigh.
Never one to like being touched, I couldn’t seem to stop touching Roanna.
Gray and Kale were already at the club they texted me they were going to when we arrived. They stood at the bar, girly drinks in one hand, beers in the other, watching as Kassa and Santana danced with each other several feet away.
From the look of it, they were putting on a show for my friends and having a good time doing it. The two of them kept checking to see if their guys were watching, giggling as they drove Gray and Kale crazy.
Roanna stepped up to the bar, ordering us both beers. I boxed her in, an arm on each side of her, my lips on her neck until the bartender placed the bottles in front of her. When she started to pull money out of her purse, I handed over my credit card, telling the guy to start a tab for us.
Glancing back at me, she rolled her eyes and tossed a five-dollar bill on the bar top for a tip. Grinning, I brushed my lips over hers before finally turning to my friends. “What are you two dumbasses doing?”
“Keeping an eye on the girls, man,” Kale grumbled, his eyes like Gray’s, glued to the dance floor. “They said we can’t dance with them and are making us hold their drinks. Haven’t been here ten minutes, and I’m ready to get out of here.”
One song faded into another one, and their girlfriends finally left the dance floor to join us. Seeing Roanna with me, the two women pulled her into a group hug. “You have killer legs,” Santana told her enviously, already tipsy, making me wonder what the fuck she was drinking or if the party had started somewhere else. “Fuck, I want to be you when I grow up.”
Roanna laughed. “Thanks?”
Kassa swallowed the last of her drink and grabbed both Santana’s and Roanna’s hands. “Come dance with me!” she commanded, but she paused in front of Gray to kiss him. “You stand right there and watch. Don’t take your eyes off us.”
Hunger darkened his sand-colored eyes. “Whatever you want, little butterfly.”
Roanna looked nervously back at me as Kassa dragged her to the center of the dance floor. The place was getting crowded, and she hadn’t had enough to drink yet to be comfortable with the number of people. I nodded to her, promising her with my eyes that I was there if she needed me.
By the end of the first song, however, she was relaxed enough to dance with the other two. She laughed with them, moving her amazing body to the beat of the music, proving to me again that it wasn’t just her voice that could hypnotize me.
The next song the DJ played was slower, sultry, and Kassa pulled the other two closer, her eyes going straight to Gray with a saucy little smirk.
“Fuck,” Kale hissed out, his fingers clenched around his beer bottle and Santana’s pink drink.
“I’m about to cut this night short.” Gray groaned and tipped his beer back.
I leaned back against the bar, watching the show the three of them were putting on for us. They were teasing us, driving us crazy with the way they were grinding against each other. My hands itched to get them on Roanna. I was with Gray; this night was about to be over. We’d just arrived, but I was ready to take Roanna home and fuck her until she begged me for mercy, payback for the torture she was unleashing on me now.
My gaze was on her and only her, so I didn’t see the two guys who were behind them at first. It wasn’t until one of them put his hands on Roanna’s hips and started pushing his crotch into her hips that I even noticed him.
When I saw his hands on her, my vision clouded with red. Roanna and the other two stopped dancing, and the second guy moved between Kassa and Santana.
“He’s dead,” Gray snarled, dropping the drinks on the floor when the guy leaned in to Kassa to say something, and Gray stepped in the pile of shattered glass and booze before storm
ing through the crowd.
Roanna pushed the guy away from her just as I started moving toward her. The guy laughed and tried to grab her waist, pulling her against him as he started dancing again, and she stomped on his foot, making him squawk in pain. Beside her, Kassa and Santana were both tearing into the second guy from what I could hear.
Even though I’d moved first, Gray reached them before me, bulldozing over people. He pushed between the girls and grabbed the guy by the shirt, fisting his hand in the material as he got in the guy’s face.
“Gray!” Kassa yelled at him, tugging at his arm. “Calm down. There’s no reason to start throwing punches.”
My hand slid around Roanna’s waist, and I pushed the first guy back. “Keep your hands to yourself, motherfucker, or you will only be able to drink soup through a straw for the rest of your life.”
The guy backed away, his hands raised and a stupid grin on his face. “Sorry, man. Didn’t know she was with you.”
Kassa finally got Gray to release the other guy. “Let’s go!” she ordered when he took her hand, dragging him toward the nearest exit before he could change his mind and start a brawl.
Kale was already pulling Santana toward the bar, and I followed. He motioned for the bartender to close out their tab and put his girlfriend in front of him, keeping himself between her and the rest of the club. “Did you have fun, doll?” he asked with a laugh, kissing the tip of her nose. “You like nearly causing a riot?”
“Depends,” she said with a sassy grin. “Did it turn you on?”
He leaned down to whisper something in her ear that had her giggling and turning red.
I tucked Roanna in beside them, signing my name on the credit card slip when the bartender placed both our bills in front of us. “You okay?” I asked at her ear.
She smiled up at me over her shoulder. “I’m good, but I’ll be better when we get back to your place.”
I pressed my hard-on into her hip. “Me too, sweet girl.”
Tainted Bastard Page 15
