"And now Beck…I couldn’t save her either. And Rodney's significant! She's all alone because I couldn't save him!" Her chest started to quake and I held her to me. She pushed me back a little, but I held onto her. "No! Don't comfort me. I caused all this." She looked up at me with questions in her eyes. "I can't believe you're not mad at me for letting him die."
"Stop, Maggie," I said and took a deep breath. "Stop this."
She wasn't going to stop so I yanked her to me. She tried to push me off and I just held on tighter. She wasn't this kind of fighter. It took no time before she was burying her face in my neck instead of pushing me away. I held on to her just as tightly as she was me. "I'm so sorry," she cried.
I took a deep breath to hold back my own emotion. Hers, plus mine, plus knowing things were probably going to get worse, was killing me. She took my face in her small, cold hands and looked into me. "I'm. So. Sorry."
"Baby," I pleaded. "This wasn't your fault."
"You're only saying that because of the imprint. It won't let you be mad."
"I'm saying it because it's true," I said, hard and unrelenting. "Beck isn't your fault. Rodney…isn't your fault." I fought the clog in my throat. "Maggie, things happen. Some things just happen sometimes and no one is to blame and no one could have stopped it."
She didn't look completely convinced, but I felt her fingers move a little on my face. She let them slide away and then looked at Jen. "Is Bish packing?"
"Yeah," she answered. "He's got Maria helping him." She smiled. "Those two get along pretty well so far."
"He adores her," Maggie confirmed. "And vice versa." She looked at me and cleared her throat. "We should probably pack, too."
"All my stuff is here," I said. "I moved it all from upstairs. I'll start putting stuff in the suitcases."
She nodded and I turned to do just that. She and Jen spoke for a second before Maggie closed the door. She stayed there a bit and waited. I'd known that she was putting on a front the past few days. She was trying to be happy and strong for everyone, but with Haddock and Rodney and now Beck, it was just too much for her. But she was acting like she didn't want my comfort at all.
Was it her idea of self punishment because she blamed herself, or did she honestly think I was upset with her and just couldn't face my anger because of the imprint?
I glanced over at her to find her watching me as I threw a wad of t-shirts into the duffle bag. "You all right?"
She nodded. "I'm fine, Caleb. Just…" She shook her head. "I'm just ready to get there. See Mr. and Mrs. T."
I nodded at that. "I'll get you there as soon as possible. We'll go to your Dad's straight from the airport, and then I'll take you to Beck's."
"Thank you."
I decided to let the awkward behavior between us go and not mention it further. She needed to process what was going on. I could wait.
So we packed up everything in silence and I tamped down on the protective vibe racing through my veins. I dragged our bags and let her carry her purse and my hoodie for the plane as she walked in front of me.
We were almost down the hall when Jonathon turned the corner, running into Maggie. He gripped her arms to keep her upright and even though he was just being a gentleman, I saw red at the sight of his hands on her skin.
Maggie quickly pulled back and I wondered if it was because she felt my annoyance or she felt the angry buzz her skin makes when someone touched her that wasn't me. I frowned. And she didn't even want me to touch her right now.
She jerked her gaze to me. "That's not true."
Crap. I forgot to block her. "Yes, it is," I argued softly. "This is stupid, Maggie. You don't need to punish yourself."
"I'm…not."
"You're not?" I asked and she paused before shaking her head and refusing to look at me. I let our bags fall from my fingers to the floor and went to stand in front of her. "It wasn't your fault. None of this was."
Jonathon just stood there, his eyes moved back and forth like he was watching volleyball. I ignored him.
"Maggie."
"You can't say that Beck and Ralph aren't my fault," she said and finally looked up at me.
"Yes, I can. Because it's mine." If my beautiful little Maggie wanted to play martyr, two could play that game.
"No," she said, confused. "How could it be your fault?"
"Because I touched you and made you mine." I felt my jaw clench at the truth of those words. Maggie's life hadn't been exactly rosy since I'd dragged her into my world.
"Don't say that," she pleaded. "Don't start this again."
"Don't start what? Don't start saying that if it weren't for me that you and your family would be safe and normal like they used to be?"
"Caleb…" Her lips quivered again and I knew I'd won. I stopped everything and pulled her elbows so she'd come into my arms. Her skin was soft and sweet smelling and gulp inducing. I took her chin in my fingers and made her look up at me. I wrapped my other arm around the small of her back to keep her there.
"Maggie Camille," I breathed and felt her breath catch. "Stop this right now. It's no more your fault than it is mine. Stuff happens. It sucks, it sucks so bad and, baby…I'm dying for you. I wish I could stop this, but I can't." I let my thumb sweep across her bottom lip.
She sniffed once before wrapping her arms around my neck. I exhaled as her skin touched mine and gripped her to my chest tightly. I felt good for bringing her down from the ledge. It was my job to protect her, even when it was from herself.
I could feel her breaths on my neck and had to hold myself back as I always did. I opened my eyes to find Jonathon still standing there. I ticked my head toward the hall to tell him to get lost. He cleared his throat and did just that.
I leaned back to rest us against the wall, but it was the stairwell door instead. I heard my "Crap!" but it was too late. I held her tighter as we tumbled back to the floor and landed on my butt with her in my lap. She was giggling before I could even get what had happened. I chuckled, too, and smoothed her hair back. I toyed with a piece between my fingers. It was so stinking soft. "Woops."
She laughed and put her hand on my cheek, shifting to straddle me on the floor. "Silly boy," she said softly.
I gripped her hips and tried to remember that she needed me because she was upset. But Maggie on my lap… My imprinted body was done with being the good guy in this department. It wanted her. All of her.
She sobered a bit then and licked her lips. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, baby. That's the point." I took her face in my hands. "It was a tragedy, not a vision that you could stop."
I saw a flash of worry and the vision of Bish and Jen play through her mind before she said, "I know."
"You're overwhelmed by everything. I understand. Just don't push me away when all I want to do is be here."
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my chin. She looked up at me from under her lashes and I barely suppressed my groan. She leaned forward to kiss me where I wanted her. I let my hands travel to her hips, tugging her a tad closer, and then told them to stay.
Stay, hands, stay right there.
The kiss was over too quickly for me, but I knew that Maggie was still hurting. I rubbed her soft arms, letting her be calmed and eased back into reality, until she was ready to go.
I helped her stand and we turned the corner only to run into Jonathon again. "Dude?" I said in annoyance.
"Wait," Maggie said and I saw it all play out in her mind. She took Jonathon's arm and peeked around the corner, all business.
She was the Visionary and she was so freaking good at it.
Then I saw who Maggie was waiting for. Rodney's significant, the girl who Maggie had talked to and learned what she was, came around the corner with a book in her hands. She was fully engrossed in her reading and didn't look up. Maggie stopped and pushed Jonathon in front of her. The girl looked up just in time to see him and jumped back to avoid the collision and giggled in embarrassment. But Jonathon, the ev
er clingy guy, grabbed onto her arms to keep her from falling.
And the imprint started with bursts and shivers as I watched in Maggie's mind, and we held onto each other and remembered our own imprint. The day I damned the girl I wanted so badly and got the love of my life all in the same moment.
The day she became my girl.
I whispered how amazing she was into her ear. She had to have grown tired of my saying it, but I couldn't stop. Maggie was torn between a fulfillment of watching her subjects follow their destiny and the sadness going on in her own life. I held her tighter and felt her gratitude.
"I'll always be here to hold you together," I told her with conviction.
She turned and pulled me down to her. And as I let her control me and my lips, my hands found their favorite spot. Her hips. And I told them to freaking stay.
Stay, hands, stay right there.
Chapter Three
Maggie
I snuggled into Caleb's hoodie as we sat on the plane. We hadn't even taken off yet. Bish and Jen were in the seats in front of us, and Fiona and Dad were in the seats in front of them. Peter had purchased us all First Class tickets and I felt bad about that. But not bad enough to actually feel it. I was too busy feeling guilty over Ralph and Beck.
But good things were happening around us. Maria stayed with Peter and Rachel so Bish and Jen were, for lack of a better phrase, all over each other. It was gross and sweet all at the same time. She was turned in her seat toward him and kept sweeping his hair back as they talked. She was telling him about her job and trying to avoid any talks of houses and what they were going to do. For now, they'd stay with Peter, but soon… I didn't want to think about it either. Bish didn't have any money, it wasn't a secret, but it was Virtuoso tradition for the groom to buy his wife a house, to have a place to take her home to after the wedding.
I sighed and pushed it away. And then I looked away when Bish took her jaw in his hand and kissed her. Deeply.
I buckled up and turned into Caleb's side. I fully intended to sleep the whole way. I needed all the rest I could get to be ready to meet up with Beck's parents. Caleb lounged and lifted the armrest so I could lay against his chest. His fingers brushed my neck repeatedly as he tried to fill me with his calm.
I slept so good it was unreal.
When I opened my eyes, we were back in Tennessee and I rubbed my eyes and squinted at the woman who insisted on blaring the news so loudly. Caleb and I made our way past Bish and Jen to Dad. He and Fiona were just as new as Bish and Jen, but less obvious. My dad had always been sweet to my mom, but at home. I couldn't imagine him as the PDA type, so it didn't surprise me that they just held hands as they made their way out of the seats. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Man, life was different. I was headed home with not one, but two sets of newly imprinted significants, and we'd left one new set at the palace.
Things were turning around for the Virtuoso and turning upside down for me. I tried not to think about it too much. I didn't want Caleb to feel even more guilty.
When we made it back to Dad's house, I stumbled in my shock as I went inside. Dad had removed all of the things that my mother had used to make it a 'home'. Pictures were off the walls and replaced with ones of just us, without her.
The frilly lamps and silly knick knacks were thrown out. All that was left was a normalcy that I was grateful for. Dad really had moved on, and just in time it seemed. It would have probably been awkward for Fiona to come home to a house filled with the face of another woman.
I looked at him. "You were pretty busy while I was gone, huh?"
"You're not upset are you? I saved you a few things, put them on your bed. And this…" He pointed to the large mirror they'd found at the antique place together. "I thought you might want that…for you and Caleb's place."
"Thanks, Dad," I hummed. "No, I'm not upset. I thought it was about time."
He hugged me sideways with one arm, but that wasn't enough. I hugged him around his middle like the little girl I used to be and squeezed. He gripped me in that knowing way and held me tightly. He whispered, "I'm sorry about Rebecca, baby."
I nodded. "I'm gonna go see her parents now."
"Want us to come?"
"Nah," I insisted. It was going to be hard enough to face them without an audience. "You can just come with me to the viewing tomorrow, all right?"
"That's fine. Whatever you want."
"This'll give you two time to settle in anyway." I glanced at Fiona as she stood off to the side, regal and quiet. "We'll sleep at Caleb's tonight." I didn't add anything further. I didn't want to get into intimate details about…that.
"And I'm just here to get some stuff," Bish spouted quickly. "I guess I'll stay with Jen at Peter's for a while."
"Don’t faint when you see the place," I told him. "It's massive."
He didn't smile, but he did come and give me one of his big bear hugs that I had been missing. "Maggie," he sighed at a loss for words. His mind was literally blank of anything comforting to say. I shook my head at him to tell him it was OK. He kissed my cheek and said, "We'll see you later, won't we? At Peter's?"
"Nah," I said and looked at Caleb. "I thought we'd stay at your apartment, if that's all right?"
He nodded and gave me a look. "Of course."
"That way you can get settled in, too, without anybody else to distract you."
And once again, I left it at that.
"If that's what you want," Bish countered. "We'll come tomorrow, to the viewing."
"Sure." Caleb still had our bags in his hands. I realized we didn't even have a car here. Caleb's bike was at Uncle Ken's. I swung my gaze to Dad. "Can we leave our stuff here and get it later?"
"Of course."
I nodded. "OK. I'm ready when you are," I told Caleb, the ever stoic bodyguard. I jiggled the key ring he'd given me in the front pocket of his hoodie. It clanked against the star bracelet that he'd replaced from the 25 Hour Skillet crew and reminded me that no matter what happened from now on, I had people who loved me and cared about whether I was happy or not.
I let that thought hang there as Caleb led me out the door with his hand on my lower back. I heard Dad and Fiona talking to each other in their minds about me; poor me, sweet me, me who'd been through so much. What about poor Beck? Poor Ralph? They were the ones paying for my mistakes.
My Converses smacked on the pavement as we made the short trek to Beck's house. Caleb was quiet and I was thankful as he held my hand. I didn’t want to talk about it, not really. I just wanted her to be alive and she wasn't, and it was my fault. Gosh... I thought about what Beck would say at hearing me talk like this. She'd tear me a new one for sure.
I laughed at the memory of her yelling at me when I cried about her being grounded when we were twelve. She had gotten caught and I hadn't. I wanted to turn myself in, confess all, but she scoffed and made out like I was being a complete idiot. "Now why would you do that? Then we'd both be in trouble instead of just one of us! That's makes no sense, Mags."
But I felt so guilty that I wound up telling on myself. They may as well have printed up 'Wanted' posters for me because my conscience plagued me everywhere I went. So naïve, so simple, so easy…such a different time in our lives.
Caleb's thumb rubbed gently across my fingers, bringing me out of my memory. I looked up to find his sympathetic face watching me. When we came up on Becks' house, I saw her car in the driveway. They must've taken Ralph's. The ache in my chest got almost unbearable as her parents' silhouettes could be seen through the window.
Caleb stopped me and turned me to him. "Wait."
"I'm gonna lose it, Caleb," I told him, my voice shaky. "I'm not going to be able to-"
His warm lips were on mine, halting anything else I might have said. I wasn't exactly kissing him, but he sure was kissing me. He wrapped me into his chest and kissed the breath right out of me. My hands were trapped between us. I curled my fingers so I could feel productive in the hanging on for dear life department. The h
arder he kissed me, the deeper I fell.
I knew what he was doing. And as grateful as I was to him for trying to fill me up with calm instead of sorrow, I was now being wracked with a need for Caleb that seemed suddenly desperate. I forced my hands out from between us and curled them around his neck. My tiptoes pushed me up to meet him of their own accord.
"Hell, Maggie," he murmured against my lips. His hands became paws as he gripped me closer to him.
The hoodie was suddenly very warm. It was strange. I'd never felt like this before. It was like my body was done with being on the backburner to my responsibilities. It didn't give a darn what was going on around us, it just knew that Caleb was here, he was touching me and he was mine.
It was too much, but I couldn't stop myself. I was on autopilot and my imprint was driving. I felt completely out of control.
Caleb brought his hands up to my face and exhaled harshly against my cheek as he pulled back a little. "It's OK," he soothed and rubbed with his thumbs. "It's OK. It's been like this for me since the beginning and it's totally normal. Our bodies are just…tired of waiting to be together, that's all."
"You've felt like this the whole time?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"Well…not exactly like this, but it's been pretty bad at times," he answered wryly.
"The boxer briefs incident?" I said and found myself smiling.
He laughed and chewed the corner of his lip. "Yep. Top of the list."
"So what does this mean?"
"Remember when I said most significants are married within a couple of weeks? Well it's been a few weeks already, babe. We can wait, but it's not going to get any easier."
He was trying not to grin. "Oh, you seem so broken up about it," I teased.
He laughed and gripped my hips tighter. "Not really broken up about it, no. The fact that you finally want me almost as much as I want you does feel kinda nice though."
I rolled my eyes good naturedly and we both seemed to know that our little 'calming session' was over. I looked at Beck's car once more and whispered, "Thanks, babe."
Independence (The Significance Series) Page 2
