“You’re staring,” she whispered, and he remembered when she’d said that to him before, the night in the movie theater right before he’d kissed her.
“I love to look at you,” he admitted, threading his fingers through her tangled hair.
Her eyes slid closed as she nuzzled his chest with her cheek. He stroked her back, curved around to tease her front, resting his hand on her chest. The pounding of her heart beat against his palm, a steady ba-boom that reminded him she was a flesh-and-blood real woman, a woman with faults and strengths and loves and hates. A woman much like him, yet different.
So different. She was good for him. He’d let her in despite his old habits of never revealing himself, and he’d shared everything with her. And she had stayed, exposed herself right back, and he’d be damned if he could turn her away now.
Not when he loved her so much.
Overwhelmed, he gathered her closer, his heartbeat matching the rhythm of hers, her legs tangled with his. She was a soft, warm bundle, slim arms holding him close, damp lips pressed against his skin. She felt so good, so right in his arms. And he was consumed with the need to tell her how he felt, how much she meant to him.
“It wasn’t so bad, was it? Letting go?” he said instead.
“What do you mean?” She wouldn’t look at him, her words muffled against his chest.
“You know, shedding inhibitions, letting loose. You let go for me tonight, Jane. And you enjoyed it.” It was a major step for her, he knew. After all, this was a woman trying to regain control of her life.
Lifting her head, her intense gaze met his. “I loved it when you lost control, too.”
“I love you,” he admitted, the words just spilling out. He immediately stilled.
Her eyes went wide, unblinking for several long beats, her body frozen. He couldn’t believe he’d said that. Too soon, way too soon. But then she smiled. A smile so sweet, so full of love and affection and hope, that his heart threatened to crack open and spill all over the place at the sight of it.
“I love you, too.” Her voice was soft, a mere whisper, and he swallowed her words, kissing her and himself stupid, drunk with his love for her.
They moved as one, eager for each other as he pressed her into the mattress. He took her hands, entwining his fingers with hers and brought her arms up and over her head. Holding her captive, both with his hands and his gaze, as he made love to her again, possessing her. Making her his and loving her with a fierceness, an intensity he didn’t know he had.
All of it brought forth by the love of this one woman.
Jane.
Chapter Fifteen
It figured a ringing phone would disturb his time with Jane, Chris thought, reluctant to crawl out of bed to answer it. She lay next to him sound asleep, her body curved around his, and he held her close, pressed yet another kiss to her forehead.
It was almost five in the morning and he needed to answer that damn phone. No one called at this time unless it was about work.
He knew it was about work.
Shifting, he pulled away from her and rolled out of bed, the cold air hitting him, making him inhale sharply. It had rained earlier, the air turning bitterly cold, threatening snow, and he wondered what could be so urgent in the middle of December.
Of course things got busier the closer it was to Christmas, and that was in only a few days. People were foolish, negligent this time of year. Too-dry trees with lights that shorted out. Candles left lit for hours and burning where they shouldn’t be. The possibilities were endless and people, unfortunately, weren’t too bright.
A phone started ringing again, this time his cell, and he grabbed it from his dresser, answering it quietly so as not to disturb Jane.
“Chris, I need your help.” Eric sounded breathless, a little frantic, and the noise going on in the background indicated something major was going down.
“What’s up?” He rubbed a hand over his face, took in his naked state. He needed to get dressed.
“There’s a structure fire downtown.” Eric paused. “It’s Saint Elizabeth’s.”
“Oh, no.” Eric was referring to the oldest church in Lone Pine Lake, the oldest building in town, period. A historical monument, it had become a tourist attraction where many flocked to get married. “How bad?”
“Pretty bad. I have two other engines coming in and the volunteers just showed up. Josh will be here soon.” Josh, the county arson investigator. “I need you, man. Can you get over here?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be right there.” Chris hung up and went into the bathroom before he started to get dressed. He was methodical in his movements, his mind racing a million miles a minute.
Jane stirred, and he watched as she rolled over. He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his work boots, lacing them with quiet efficiency. He ran a hand over his head, figured he’d have to take a shower later, since he’d end up dirty anyway.
He was ready. He didn’t want to leave her.
But he had to.
“Christian.” She sat up, held the sheet in front of her bare chest and rubbed her eyes with her free hand as he stood. “What are you doing?”
“Gotta go to work. There’s a fire.”
She blinked her eyes wider. “Where?”
“Saint Elizabeth’s. Eric said it’s bad.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head, a deep sigh moving through her. “That’s awful.”
“I know.” His mouth was grim, his mood dark. He was mentally preparing, focusing on what needed to be done, but it was hard. He just wasn’t there yet.
He needed to get there. Now.
Bending over Jane, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, then moved to drop a kiss to her pursed lips. She wrapped a hand around his neck and held him there, deepening the kiss, leaving him dizzy, his head reeling when he stood back up.
“Be careful,” she whispered, her heart in her eyes, her fear on her face. “I love you.”
“Baby, I’m always careful.” He smiled, trying to make light of it, hating the sight of all that fear. “I love you, too.”
She smiled, tremulous at best, and he swore her eyes glistened. “Do you really?”
“Oh, yeah.” Unable to resist, he kissed her one last time, wishing he didn’t have to go. “Really.”
And then he walked away from the woman he loved, walked out of his house and into the still dark, still cold night. An oppressive eeriness settled around him, making him uneasy, and he stopped in the driveway, glancing both ways before he got into his truck.
There was nothing out there, despite the heaviness that washed over him like a bad omen. He was overreacting. Shaking his head, he started the truck, let it warm up for a few minutes before he pulled out of his driveway and headed toward the scene.
…
Jane left Chris’s house unlocked, since he hadn’t mentioned what to do. But she reassured herself that they lived in a small town. Who would rob him?
Descending from the front porch, she hurried down the walk, grateful Mindy had shown up so quickly after Jane had called her. She climbed into her sister’s car, ignored the smug expression on Mindy’s face.
“What happened to Hot Stuff?”
“He got called to a fire two hours ago at the old Catholic church.”
Mindy’s eyes went wide. “No way, you’re kidding.”
“No.” Jane shook her head.
“Want to go and check on Christian?” Mindy hit the gas, speeding down the road.
“We’d get in the way, don’t you think?” Jane shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Mindy shrugged, turned the car onto the main road. “We could at least see what’s happening. Not like a lot of people will be out this morning. It’s still pretty early.”
“I don’t know…” She didn’t want to be in the way, to be one of those girlfriends who chased her boyfriend everywhere, even hung around while he worked.
But he’d told her he loved her. The words had spilled from
him so quietly, his voice sincere, the look in his eyes intense. She’d been surprised, thrilled, and, of course, she’d told him she loved him in return.
She did. She loved Christian. She already couldn’t imagine her life without him.
His job scared her, though. He put himself at such risk, each and every day. After everything that had happened to her, she longed to feel safe. And though she loved how much Chris made her feel protected, he wasn’t protected. No, there were no guarantees on his job. And she hated that.
“Okay, let’s go,” she finally said, her voice low, her worry high.
Mindy drove toward the tiny town center, practically flying down the road, since it was pretty much empty. Jane clutched the handle on the inside of the door, nervousness making her feet use an imaginary chicken brake on the floorboard. Mindy started to laugh when she caught a glimpse of Jane’s panicked expression.
“Please. I’m going ten miles over the speed limit. Calm down.”
“You’re speeding, Mindy. And freaking me out. We’ll get there when we get there. There’s no hurry.”
“Sorry. I guess I’m too eager to watch big macho firemen work those long hoses in their sexy yellow coats.” Mindy laughed and Jane rolled her eyes. “Come on, not much excitement happens for me anymore. I have to get my thrills where I can.”
Anxiety coursed through Jane’s veins, making her weak, nervous. Scared. They were getting closer to the church and she could already smell the smoke, see it billowing in a thick plume toward the sky. It was dark, almost black, and she even spotted orange, flickering flames. She knew it had to be bad. The call had come two hours ago and it had been bad then. How much longer would this building burn?
Panic swept through her, its icy fingers lingering in her mind. Memories—ones she’d never uncovered before now—came of her house burning. She was trapped, blinded by the smoke, unable to breathe. She’d somehow snuck out the back of the house and dropped to the ground.
Jane jerked in her seat, brought back to reality by Mindy slowing the car to a complete stop. Two sheriff patrol cars blocked them from going any farther. Jane averted her eyes, unable to look at the fire while Mindy talked to the deputies. One of them was Mike Vargas, yet another local boy who never left.
It was hard to leave this town, Jane realized. And now she had even more of a reason to stay.
She hoped her reason was safe. She wished he would call her and reassure her overreacting heart.
…
“We ready to clean up?” Chris called as he helped put away the fire hose.
“Yeah, I think so.” Eric came to stand next to him, both of them gazing at the now completely demolished church. “This is heartbreaking, man.”
“I know.” Even though Chris had no real connection to the church—he wasn’t what one would consider a spiritual man and he wasn’t a local, so he couldn’t quite wrap his head around just how tragic this loss was to the town—but he could appreciate a beautifully built, incredibly old and monumental building. And that’s exactly what Saint Elizabeth’s Catholic Church had been.
Joshua Powers, the arson specialist, approached, a grim look on his face as he greeted them. “One of you want to walk through this with me?”
“I’ll go,” Chris volunteered. He was tired and he needed to check in with Jane, but he was the captain and thought it best he go with Josh before he called her. The both of them headed toward the still smoldering building, walking up to where the arching double doors had once been. “You think it’s arson?”
“No, I heard a special service was held last night, and they lit lots of candles. I’m thinking a few of them didn’t get put out and that started the blaze. Once I get a look around, though, I’ll know for sure.”
He felt terrible, so sad that the building had burned to the ground. But he’d known from the moment he arrived on scene that the structure had been beyond hopeless. Beyond saving.
Residents had come to watch, many of them parishioners of the church, and he’d noticed more than one openly weeping. He’d hated that, the sadness, the open loss expressed. It didn’t help that he wasn’t at his best, exhausted from the previous night with Jane. His mind not as focused as normal on the task before him. Too distracted by the amazing woman in his life, reliving the things they’d revealed to each other just hours before.
Like the fact they were in love with each other. He couldn’t believe it, but he was even more seriously considering buying her that engagement ring…
Would she accept it? Would she agree to be his wife? Hell, he hoped so. One minute he didn’t doubt it for a second and the next he was plagued with worry, wondering what the hell he was thinking. Why would he move so quickly? Why would he tie himself down so quickly?
It was because he was in love with a woman who accepted him, flaws and all. Who took care of him when he needed it and backed off when he didn’t. A woman who had a loving family he wanted for his own. A family who, for the most part, also accepted him as is.
He wanted that all. And he wanted it forever.
“Chris, watch out,” Josh called and Chris dodged a large burning ember that fell from what was left of the roof. He sidestepped it, watched as it fell to the ground and broke into tiny red and black smoldering pieces. “That would’ve burned you real good.”
“Thanks, man.” Chris shook his head, disgusted at himself. He needed to pay attention, focus on his job and not get all googly-eyed over a woman. A very important woman, but still, he needed to prioritize. Work came first at the moment.
Concentrate.
“Chris! Goddamn it, move!” Josh screamed.
Chris glanced up, his movements slowing, his mind hazy. A large, still smoking beam was barreling down upon him, so fast he didn’t have time to move. Wouldn’t have been able to get out of its way in time, it was so large.
Josh yelled, sounding panicked just as the beam struck Chris on the back, knocking him down to the ground. Clouds of ash puffed around him, filling his lungs, and he coughed. His hands pressed into the broken and melted glass that littered the ground, making him wince. The smoky, still burning chips of wood singed his palms.
Fleeting images of Jane flashed through his mind before his head hit the ground.
Chapter Sixteen
“Where are you?” Mac asked.
Jane frowned as she held Mindy’s cell phone to her ear. “I’m with Mindy. We’re headed over to Mom and Dad’s to pick up the kids. What’s going on?”
Her little brother did not sound good. And that scared her. “Eric just called me. He was looking for you.”
“Why was Eric looking for me?” Fear trickled down her spine, making her sit up straighter in her seat. She glanced at Mindy, saw the questioning in her sister’s eyes.
“He tried to call your cell. Don’t you have it with you?”
“The battery’s dead.” She’d left it on all night at Chris’s house and didn’t have her charger with her.
“Jane.” Mac took a deep breath, as if fortifying himself. “It’s Chris. He’s been hurt.”
“What?” She felt as if she’d been sucker punched, socked so hard in the stomach all the breath left her in one big whoosh. She tried to inhale, found she couldn’t, and she jerked out the words as best she could. “Wh—what happened?”
“The old church burned down, Saint Elizabeth’s.”
“Right, I know.” She watched as Mindy pulled into their parents’ driveway and turned off the car engine.
“Want me to stay or go?” Mindy whispered and Jane shook her head, mouthing the word stay.
She needed as much support as she could get.
“Well, there was an accident. He’s been hurt pretty badly.”
“H-how bad?” Oh, God. She couldn’t take this, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. Memories assaulted her yet again, sudden and furious. The roar of the fire in her ears, how the thick smoke choked her, and the smell of flesh burning. Her flesh. How she’d searched everywhere for Stephen but couldn’t find
him.
Jane gasped, her throat dry, tears streaming down her face at the sudden, overwhelming images. She’d never remembered any of that before, not in the two years since it happened. But it came back to her now in a horrific rush, one moment after another, like little pieces of a puzzle all fitting together and finally making sense.
The EMT who found her in the backyard, who held her in his lap and let her know her children were safe. The relief she’d felt, how she’d cried and asked for her husband. The EMT’s somber expression, how he refused to answer, and she’d known. She’d known then Stephen was dead.
She’d screamed. Again and again, she’d screamed. Her voice had grown hoarse with it, the acrid stench of smoke everywhere. The flames so bright they turned the night sky into day.
And her life was forever changed. Stephen was gone.
Dead.
“Jane. Jane, are you there?”
She heard Mac’s voice in her ear, felt Mindy’s hand touch her arm, and she shook herself. All of the memories had slammed into her until she couldn’t separate the past from the present. She couldn’t remember if they were talking about Stephen or Chris.
It’s Chris, she reminded herself. Chris.
“Jane, he’s out of it now but he asked for you earlier.” Mac was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. “He’s at the hospital in Oakwood. I’ll come get you and take you there.”
“Why haven’t they sent him to Sacramento?” If his injuries were severe enough, they would’ve sent him to a hospital in Sacramento, she knew it. So that meant maybe he was okay.
He was okay. He had to be.
“I don’t know, Janey. I’m hoping because his injuries aren’t that bad. Eric didn’t go into details, just told me to find you fast because Chris wants you.”
“Then come get me, Mac. Hurry,” Jane urged, wanting to see Christian. Not wanting to see him, too. The idea of going to a hospital, seeing him lying there in a bed, injured, broken, maybe even—oh, God—burned, she knew she would lose it.
She was already close to losing it.
“I’ll be there in less than five minutes. I’m already headed in that direction.” Mac ended the call and Jane handed the phone back to Mindy.
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