He could be gentle.
He took a slow, raspy breath and blew it back out again.
Yeah, he could be gentle.
Hell, he wanted to be gentle.
For Katie.
****
That first evening after a light meal, Katie sat on the couch under the crook of Zach’s arm while they watched a movie.
Or at least, she was supposed to be watching the movie, but she wasn’t. With the muted sound of the ocean’s waves beyond the house, and Zach’s fingers playing with her hair, a pleasant feeling of somnolence crept up on her and her eyes slid closed. A feeling of such intense pleasure rushed through her veins as she saw a picture well into the future.
She saw the two of them, just as they were now, but thirty years or so into the future. They were in this house, sitting on a couch much like this one, and they were tired after a long day of playing on the beach with little grandchildren who she couldn’t quite picture, but knew she had an intense love for.
Her grandchildren. Zach’s grandchildren.
Her eyes flew open and she swallowed deeply. She wanted those grandchildren. She wanted her own babies and then she hoped that someday, she’d get those grandchildren.
She sat up straight and in the darkness, lit only from the screen of the television screen, she turned and placed her hands on Zach’s cheeks.
He looked into her eyes and jerked to attention at once. “Are you okay?”
She nodded her head because her throat wouldn’t work quite yet.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded her head again and finally got past the frog in her throat. “I love you.”
His eyes flared with a look of relief and happiness that soothed her, and his fingers slid from her hair to her scalp with a move so firm that Katie felt the intense, masculine strength behind it. “I love you, too, baby. I have for a long time.”
As they studied each other, Katie was aware of her heart banging against her chest and his pulse racing under her hands. He attempted to smile at her, but she continued to focus on him, and his lips dropped and the smile dissolved completely.
Katie rose to her knees and straddled Zach’s torso carefully, her palms falling to his shoulders. She was aware that his breathing was growing ragged as his fingers clenched around her hips. She inhaled nervously. “Will you kiss me?”
His nostrils flared. “I’d love to kiss you.”
Katie closed her eyes but he didn’t kiss her, he stayed completely still until finally, he spoke. “I think we should establish a few parameters, first, okay?”
Her eyes opened. “Okay.”
A large hand slid up and tangled in her hair again. “We won’t make love tonight.”
Katie sucked in a quivering breath. “All right.”
“We can play this two ways, whichever way you want. And I’m not talking about just tonight, but about how you want it to be so you can feel safe. If you want, I won’t make a single move that you don’t ask for first. You can ask verbally or you can make the first physical moves, either by putting your hand somewhere, or by putting my hand where you want it.”
Katie listened and felt a hot rush of anticipation that stunned her.
“Or—” Zach began again and then stopped.
“Or what?”
“Or, we can play it the other way.”
She licked her dry lips. “What other way?”
His eyes ran over her cheeks and lips and down to her neck. He slid his fingers to the pulse in her throat and let them linger there. “Or you can just say no.”
Temptation gripped Katie. “How would that work?” She pretty much understood what he meant, but his words were seductive and Katie wanted him to keep talking to her in his deep, rumbling voice.
His hands continued to caress her softly but firmly. “It means that I do what I want to do. But the second you feel uncomfortable or hesitant, you call a halt by either saying, no or stop.”
Katie was beginning to feel lightheaded. “And… and you’ll stop?”
His hand left her neck and began blazing a gentle trail down her chest with the single, rough pad of one finger until it landed on the top swell of her breast. He cleared his throat and a tic began beating in his cheek. “Yeah.” His finger moved down a centimeter toward her nipple and his eyes lifted to hers. “Any time at all. You say stop, and I’ll stop.”
Katie’s ears began ringing, her pulse began racing as their eyes caught and held. His finger swirled around her nipple, causing it to pebble into a hard knot. Her legs began shaking and could barely hold her up. When his fingers found her nipple and began strumming her, her eyes closed and her forehead fell to his.
Their breathing grew more ragged, racing in and out of their lungs at a pace that was almost synchronized.
His fingers continued to pluck at her nipple. “Are you all right?”
Katie began nodding her head frantically and when she did, his hand left her breast and dropped to the juncture of her thighs where he palmed her in a firm grasp. She gasped and jumped and lifted her head from his and her eyes flew open. “Stop.”
His hand lifted away from her immediately. “Good girl,” he rumbled from the back of his throat.
“Was that a test?”
“Yeah.”
Katie shook her head. “I don’t understand. Did you not know if you could stop?”
Zach frowned. “My restraint isn’t what I was testing. I was just trying to prove that you can trust me.”
“I trust you.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“So which way do you want this to go?”
Katie thought about her choices and knew immediately she didn’t want to be the one leading every physical encounter between them. “You’ll stop when I tell you to.”
A look of relief appeared in his eyes, only a second before he wrapped his hands around her face. “I’m going to hold you to that, baby.” His lips brushed across hers, once, twice, and then settled on her mouth.
Sweet sensation screamed through Katie’s veins as Zach plunged his tongue into her mouth. His fingers were wrapped around her cheekbones, and her hands fell to his shoulders for stability. As he swirled his tongue with hers, a ribbon of emotional need gripped Katie, her blood pounding through her veins.
Zach kissed her as if he were a dying man and she was his last meal, and in the hazy part of Katie’s mind, she knew she wasn’t scared. Sexual heat was what she was feeling, and as he lifted his mouth from hers and scattered kisses along her cheek and down her throat, she felt a heartrending tenderness for him.
Her love-starved body ached for his touch, and as he came back to her lips and began nipping them with his teeth, she was carried away by her own response.
A response that she was thrilled to the bone she was able to feel.
They kissed for many long minutes, her heart jolting and her pulse pounding. She began to experience an ache between her legs, an urge to bump her hips against his, and when she began undulating softly against his torso, his head lifted and his eyes opened to stare into hers.
Fire streamed from the dark brown beauty of Zach’s irises as they breathed deeply, watching each other. His voice was harsh as it rattled from his chest, “I want you to go up to bed now, okay?”
She couldn’t believe what he just said. Go to bed? “Why?”
“Because that’s enough for one night. I want you to know … I need you to understand that I’m capable of stopping at any point, okay? And we need to take this slow.”
Katie was disappointed but she wasn’t completely ready to make love tonight. “Okay.” She hoped like hell that she didn’t sound petulant as she slid from his lap and stood to her feet. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” he answered brusquely.
Katie strolled slowly across the living room and had just reached the doorway when his deep voice called out and she halted in her tracks.
“You’re still taking the pill, aren’t you, Katie?”
<
br /> Katie’s heart almost stopped beating entirely. She turned around slowly and saw his fingers clenched into fists at his sides. She looked up into eyes that, even now, glittered with hot, pulsing need. She nodded her head in answer to his question.
His lips lifted in an attempt at a reassuring smile that missed by a long shot. “That’s good, baby. Go to bed now.”
Katie took one last look at his probing eyes and inscrutable expression and fled for the privacy of her bedroom.
****
Zach waited until he heard the clicking noise that told him Katie had shut her bedroom door before he closed his eyes and let his head fall forward, his chin to his chest.
Well, damn. This was going to be easier said than done. Already, one kiss and one tiny touch of his fingers against her breast were making his guts clench in vicious need. And that single touch had been through two layers of clothing.
Sweat broke out on his brow. What the hell was going to happen if they both were completely naked and she told him to stop? How would he react if he was already inside of her and she told him to stop? He’d be able to stop, right?
Yeah, he would. Because he’d have to. He had no choice. He’d promised Katie he would stop and he’d do anything to make it right.
He just hoped he wouldn’t die in the process.
****
As the days passed, a routine began to take place. Katie was left sleeping in her room in the mornings while Zach went running, and as she was awakening from sleep, he would come back and shower and shave. They ate a simple breakfast together, and he would begin working while she wiled away the morning hours. They would usually eat the lunch she prepared out on the balcony, and then he would settle in for more work before taking her out to dinner in the evenings.
And after dinner, the lessons began.
Yes, that’s the way Katie began to think of their evenings together, as Zach’s lessons. He was definitely trying to prove that he had full control over his own body, but whether he was trying to reassure her or himself with that proof was still up for debate.
Every evening, they went a little further. The second night at the house, they only kissed again. The third night, his hand slowly climbed up her body until her breast was enclosed in his hand.
The fourth night, to her delight, he lifted her shirt and touched her bare breasts. And then to her irritation, he pulled it back down again and packed her off to bed.
After supper on the fifth night, he surprised her completely with his request. While they were loading the dishes in the dishwasher he told her he wanted to get in the spa. “Go put a swimsuit on, Katie.”
Her nerves jumped, but only in anticipation. The water did sound lovely. And she blanked her mind from the memory of the last time they were in the spa. She was going to be in her swimsuit this time, so it was completely different. “Okay. I’ll go change.”
“Meet you on the balcony in ten minutes,” he said as he walked from the kitchen.
Some twenty minutes later, Katie sat in the warm, swirling water up to her neck with her eyes closed. She had gotten a slight sunburn on the beach that day, and the sting from the warm water that Zach warned her about had receded, leaving only the comfort of the water soothing her sun-kissed skin.
Zach sat across from her, but his eyes were closed too, and as they lounged in the water together, Katie thought the moment was almost blissfully peaceful.
She was wearing a swimsuit, and she derived comfort from the two little scraps of material. And she knew now how gentle Zach could be. She knew he would stop when she wanted him to. She knew how badly she wanted him.
In a precise move that caused her no alarm, he settled her across his lap, and smoothed the dark strands of wet hair off her shoulders. Lowering his mouth to shoulder, he began nipping her flesh, kissing a trail of fire up her neck and to her ear. She squirmed in his arms, and she felt it when her movements against his groin hardened him instantaneously.
She felt his erection pushing against her and sending up a small prayer of thanksgiving, Katie acknowledged that it felt heavenly. She needed to feel his mouth on hers, but he seemed fixated on her neck. She tried to get him to leave that spot, but to no avail. Finally, she let out a small whisper. “Kiss me.”
Zach felt her squirming against him and heard the hushed sound of her voice. Through the lust that held him captive, the words hit him and a thousand pieces of light slid down his spine. He loved it when she asked for his kiss.
He lifted his hands to cup her face, and brought his mouth down on hers. For the first time, he opened his mouth over hers without any soothing preliminaries to ease her into it. His tongue stroked deep into her mouth, and he was gratified when her hands came up to grab his wrists, not to push him away, but seemingly to hold on for dear life.
She kissed him back, giving him her tongue completely. He sucked it into his mouth, swirled his around it, and then settled in with strokes that couldn’t be misunderstood.
She began panting against him, and his hand wandered down and unerringly found the top of a wet breast. He pushed the flimsy cup aside, and began stroking her nipple in time with his tongue stroking her mouth. He ran his thumb all over the silk of her areola, and it puckered sweetly under his touch. Her nipple stabbed back at his hand, and Zach felt a moment when he thought he would go insane if he couldn’t be inside her.
Lust fogging his brain, he pulled the string at her back and loosened the top of her swimsuit. “I want this off.” The exquisite feel of her naked breast in his hand made his voice harsh with need.
The top came loose and he began pulling it over her head. “Okay, sweetheart?” He flung it aside, and tried to wait for her agreement before he touched her again.
Katie felt the water on her breasts with no material to dull the pleasure. “Yes.” His hands came back to her, and she found his mouth with hers again. Nothing she had ever experienced in her life came close to what she was feeling now. She was with a man who knew control and how to be gentle.
His hands skimmed over her breasts repeatedly, and Katie was lifted to a new height of arousal. She wanted to touch him. Desperately. She reached her hand down into the water, and began rubbing his shaft through his shorts.
She felt his muscles clench as his hands tightened on her. The kiss went ballistic.
Zach pushed against her mouth and her hand and squeezed her nipple so hard it should have hurt. God, it didn’t. It felt wonderful. He knew exactly how much pressure to use and how to use it. Katie tried to draw breath.
Zach freed his mouth from hers and took in much-needed oxygen. “Tell me I don’t have to stop. Please, baby, please, tell me I don’t have to stop.” He heard himself begging, but couldn’t seem to care. He needed in her. He needed to feel her naked on his shaft. She was on the pill. He didn’t want to use a condom. He wanted to feel her naked around his cock, enveloping him, tightening on him.
He hated the things she had gone through in the past. But he wasn’t letting her go because of it. If he could just get her to accept him, accept this, then everything would be okay.
She never answered him and he took that as consent, because she never said either of the designated words they had agreed upon. He lifted her from him long enough to slide her bottoms down her legs. With one hand cupping her heat, he began tearing at the fastening on his shorts.
She stiffened as their clothes began to come off, or was that just his imagination?
Zach felt her tremble and he took a sustaining breath, lifted his hand and gently rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip, his eyes holding hers. “I’m not going to hurt you, Katie. You can tell me to stop anytime you need to.”
Katie looked heartrendingly innocent, naked and exposed as he continued to take the clothes from his body. “Zach, I—”
“What, sweetheart?” He was trying to go slow, be gentle, but he was aware that the question came out harsh and ragged.
He tossed his shorts aside and lifted her, placing her on the seat of the spa an
d spreading her legs as he came over her and pushed between her thighs. He felt the fine tremors that went through her as she hissed in oxygen and put her hand on his chest in an obvious bid to stall him.
“No, I don’t want you to stop.” The words came softly and Zach felt the ferocity leave his bloodstream at her agreement.
Katie kept speaking. “I want—I want to be on top.” As she looked into his face, he knew he needed to keep in check the look of fevered hunger that was probably reflected on his features. She wanted to be on top? That was all? Thank God. “P-please,” she continued when he didn’t speak. Her eyes closed and she bit down on her bottom lip. “I-I need some control.” She opened her lids again and a hint of panic shone from her eyes.
Zach saw the naked emotion and heard her request, understood her need for it and complied immediately. With one swift move, he lifted them both from the water and stepped from the spa. He flipped to his back on the smooth, slick tile, and brought her over him, lifting her astride him. He raised his arms above his shoulders, in a non-threatening position, and lay still beneath her. “Is that hurting your knees?”
She shook her head.
The only place they were touching was where their bodies met as she sat astride him, her hands on his chest, pushing her torso away from his. He could feel her soft, feminine opening hot against his stomach and his guts burned with need.
They breathed heavily and stared into each other’s eyes.
He could feel his cock rising up and pushing against her, but it wasn’t something he could control. Her eyes flared wider and he knew she felt it, too.
She didn’t jump from him right away as he half expected, just watched him a moment, the tension slowly receding from her eyes now that she was in the dominant position.
Slowly, so he wouldn’t scare her, his eyes never wavering from hers, he brought one hand down between them and lightly caressed the top of a breast with one finger, dragging it back and forth across her silky skin, but not coming near the nipple that tightened and peaked for him.
An Eye for an Eye: Zach and Katie's Story (Redwood Falls) Page 20
