by Beth Wiseman
He wondered if she’d made the connection about Pequea Creek.
When Ruth walked back in the house, her mother stood from where she’d been sitting on the couch. “Did you have a nice talk with Gideon?”
Ruth kicked off her shoes by the front door like she’d been doing since she arrived. The old habit came as naturally as slipping back into the Pennsylvania Deitsch dialect.
“I guess it went pretty good, all things considered.” It was silly not to open the envelope. She could have avoided a lot of heartache if she’d just opened it. Or was that part of God’s plan? The thought of divorce ripped at her insides now that she thought it might become a reality.
Her mother nodded, then yawned. “I think it’s nap time for me. All this activity today has me worn out.” As she passed by Ruth, she touched her on the arm. “Lean on the Lord, mei dochder.”
Ruth sensed her mother was about to say more, but Esther came down the stairs with Becky right behind her.
“Danki for all the help, Mamm, especially the food.” Esther walked their mother to the door, then turned to Becky. “Tell Mammi bye, and it’s time for someone else’s nap, too, ya?”
Becky gave her grandmother a big hug before she left, then the little girl rolled her lip into a pout. “I’m too big for a nap.”
Esther chuckled. “You’re never too big for a nap. Didn’t you just hear your mammi say she was going home to take a nap?”
“But I want to talk to Aenti Ruth more.”
Ruth cleared her throat. “Well, if it’s okay with your mamm, Gideon and I would like to take you on a picnic with us to Pequea Creek tomorrow.” She glanced at her sister who was grinning ear to ear.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” Esther winked at Ruth before she turned to her daughter. “Becky, how does that sound?”
Ruth’s niece released a heavy sigh. “That sounds gut, but I still don’t want to take a nap.” Becky huffed before she stomped up the stairs.
“She’s so much like you at that age.” Ruth plopped down on the couch and smiled. “Overdramatic.”
Esther sat in one of the rocking chairs, kicked it into motion, and grinned. “Maybe.” Then she began twirling the string on her kapp. “Pequea Creek, ya?” She let the string go and began tapping a finger to her chin. “Isn’t that where you and Gideon had your first kiss?”
Ruth felt her cheeks warming. “Yes. But don’t read into that, Esther.” Ruth had already read plenty into it on her own, thus the idea to bring Becky along. She wanted to get to know her niece better, but she also worried she might be tempted to relive that first kiss with Gideon. She was still as attracted to him as ever, but kissing him would be out of the question since he had another woman in his life.
“It sure seems significant that he picked that particular place for a picnic.” Esther folded her hands in her lap. “Maybe it’s not a gut idea for Becky to go tomorrow. That won’t give you and Gideon much privacy.”
“No, we’d both like Becky to go.” She frowned at Esther. “We don’t need that kind of privacy.”
Esther rolled her eyes before she chuckled. “I meant talking, not kissing.”
“Well, there are some things I don’t think either of us is ready to talk about.”
Esther pressed her palms together and brought her folded hands to her chin. “We’ve all been hoping and praying you two might reconnect. Do you think there’s a chance?”
Ruth shook her head. “No. Don’t you remember how horrible we were to each other those months that followed Grace’s death? I’m not sure we can go back.”
“But you were grieving.” Esther left the rocker and joined Ruth on the couch. “People say all kinds of things when they’re hurting.”
Ruth shook her head. “It’s not just that. Gideon is seeing someone.”
Esther’s eyes grew as round as saucers.
“Why do you look so surprised? It’s been half a decade.” She pointed to her blue jeans. “We clearly aren’t Amish anymore.”
Esther shrugged, frowning. “I just can’t picture Gideon with anyone else.”
“I don’t know, but those are the kinds of conversations I’m not ready to have. Becky is a breath of fresh air to me, and I think to Gideon too. We’ll enjoy spending time with her tomorrow, and she’ll help keep the conversation light.”
Esther laughed. “Taking Becky might be risky. You never know what will come out of that child’s mouth. I hope she hasn’t already said anything to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Actually, she’s the only one who has not made me feel uncomfortable.”
Esther stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Esther, I love you, but I could tell that everyone in the room today had been asked not to mention Grace.” She blinked, but it didn’t stop the tears. “Becky is the only one who dared to ask about her when we were by ourselves, and we spent our time talking about Grace. My daughter, Grace. She lived for ten years, and she will always be a part of my life. It hurts when no one even mentions her, like she never existed.”
Esther pulled Ruth into a hug as she started to cry too. “I’m sorry, Ruth. I’m so sorry.” She eased away and swiped at her eyes. “I just wanted to make your stay as pain free as possible. I thought talking about her might upset you too much.”
“Not talking about her upsets me. In Florida, I talk about her to anyone who will listen. But they didn’t know her the way people here did.” Ruth sniffled, then shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I know you were just trying to do what you thought best, and Mamm and Daed too.”
“I was also worried that spending too much time with Becky might cause you heartache too.” She leaned her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. “I miss Grace, too, and I still think about her every day. I see her in things Becky does, and it makes me miss her so much.” She turned to face Ruth. “I can’t imagine how it must be for you.”
“Like I said, Becky is a breath of fresh air. She’s a beautiful child, and I love sharing stories about Grace with her. I want to always remember everything about her.” She paused and locked eyes with her sister. “One of my many regrets is that I don’t have any pictures of Grace. I know it wasn’t allowed, but I’d do anything to see her face again. With each passing year, her image slips a little further away. What happens if it disappears forever?”
Esther pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs like she did when they were kids. “It won’t. And I want to talk about Grace too.”
Ruth leaned an ear toward the stairs. “Is Becky awake? I thought I heard something.”
Esther smiled. “If I rush up there right now, she’ll pretend to be asleep, but she won’t be.”
“Just like you used to do.” Ruth knocked her shoulder playfully against her little sister’s.
“Do you remember the time Grace found those baby rabbits? The mother was nowhere around and she brought them all home?”
Ruth laughed. “Remember? They were so small we had to feed them with little droppers every few hours. It was like having four premature babies to tend to.” She loved that recollection. “Grace was so dedicated. She would have made a wonderful mother.”
And from there, Esther began to recall more and more stories about Grace, some that Ruth didn’t even know about. Ruth packed each one into her memory bank to take back to Florida with her. This was what she’d hoped for.
CHAPTER 5
Gideon pulled into Esther and Amos’s driveway. Ruth and Becky were sitting on the porch steps with a picnic basket between them. Gideon’s mind drifted back to when he was sixteen and on his first picnic with Ruth. They had their whole lives to look forward to, and he still remembered that first kiss like it happened yesterday.
He opened the truck door and walked toward them. Ruth stood, toting the basket. She was wearing a light blue shirt, jeans, white sneakers, and her dark hair flowed well past her waist. Even after all these years, he felt weak at the sight of her.
“Hello,
ladies.”
“I’m not really a lady.” Becky scowled a little, her cheeks dimpling the same way as when she smiled. “I’m a girl.”
Gideon squatted down in front of her and grinned. “And a beautiful girl you are. But one day you’ll be a beautiful lady.”
The child smiled before she twisted in circles, her light-blue dress catching in the wind beneath her black apron. “Mei mamm made me a new dress.”
Gideon stood. “It’s a very pretty dress.” He walked around to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door for Ruth, then helped Becky into a booster seat he’d found at his parents’ house.
It was a short drive to the creek. Once they parked, Ruth led the way while Gideon followed, picnic basket in one hand and Becky holding on to the other. Gideon might have suggested coming to the creek, but Ruth seemed to be following his lead. She chose the exact spot where they shared their first kiss and frequented throughout their courtship. They brought Grace here countless times as well.
“Is this okay?” Ruth avoided his eyes as she took the picnic basket from him.
“Uh, yeah. This is fine.” Gideon didn’t want to analyze her intentions. He would focus on the beautiful day the Lord had gifted them. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and a cool breeze rustled the leaves as it blew through and met with the babbling creek. Ruth spread out a red-and-white checkered blanket, then sat and unpacked the basket.
Gideon instinctively followed Becky. He remembered how Grace would get too close to the water’s edge. It wasn’t deep in this area, but falling in would yield some nasty scrapes from the rocks barely peaking above the ripples of water.
“Careful,” he said as he reached for her hand.
They sat on a rock facing the creek. “Mamm and Daed brought me here once for a picnic too. It’s pretty here.”
Gideon gazed at her profile, and once again he saw Grace. Esther and Ruth looked a lot alike, so maybe it wasn’t surprising that he kept seeing Grace in Becky. Or maybe he just wanted to see Grace. For months after she was gone, he’d dreamed about her. Each time, she was happy and smiling, and Gideon tried to hold on to that image through the darkest days.
“Everything’s ready.” Ruth had the food spread out in front of her, and her feet were tucked beneath her as she smiled at them.
Gideon had taken plenty of pictures since he moved away. He wanted to take out his cell phone and capture this moment, the way Ruth’s hair blew free in the breeze, her smile. The last time he saw his wife, her face was contorted into an expression that didn’t even resemble the woman she was. This was his Ruthie, a postcard vision of the way things used to be. Then he glanced at Becky, their niece, and wondered if it would be possible to cherish the old memories but also make new ones.
After they bowed their heads in silent prayer, Ruth helped Becky spread chicken salad on her two pieces of bread. Ruth had gotten up early and found all the ingredients, and Esther baked an apple pie the day before so Ruth snagged three slices.
“This is the best chicken salad ever,” Becky said with a mouthful. After she swallowed she asked, “What’s different about yours? Mamm’s doesn’t taste the same.”
Gideon chuckled. “There’s a secret ingredient in it.” He picked up his own sandwich and pretended to study it, squinting and holding it at eye level. “At least, that’s what your mother tells everyone.”
Ruth froze, even stopped chewing, as she wondered if Gideon realized his blunder.
Becky giggled. “She’s not mei mudder, she’s mei aenti.”
Gideon’s cheeks turned a rosy shade of red. “Uh, yeah.” He looked at Ruth, his eyebrows furrowed. “Sorry about that.”
Ruth finally finished chewing and swallowed. “It’s fine.” Becky obviously reminded Gideon of Grace too.
“What’s the secret ingredient?” Becky’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.
“Well . . .” Ruth tapped a finger to her chin. “It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you, now would it?”
Gideon laughed again, and the sound of his voice melted away the tension that had built up about this trip. Even though she’d looked forward to it, she worried that at any minute things might explode. Ruth believed that part of the reason they’d split up was because the sight of each other reminded them too much of Grace.
“She won’t even tell me her secret ingredient.” Gideon grinned as he rolled his eyes.
Becky smiled. “And you’re her husband.”
Ruth lifted her eyes to Gideon’s, but he looked somewhere over her shoulder, lost in . . . what? Memories? Regrets? Thoughts of Grace?
Becky set her sandwich on the paper plate. “If you’re married, why don’t you live together?”
It was an innocent question, but Ruth wanted to keep things light today. She looked at Gideon and hoped he’d answer the child in a way she could understand. But he had just put the last bite of sandwich in his mouth and merely raised an eyebrow at her.
“We just don’t.” Ruth forced a smile and tried to sound casual as she eased a plate with pie closer to Becky, eager to steer the conversation in another direction. “Your mamm made this yesterday.”
Becky’s doe eyes found Ruth. She blinked several times, a look of confusion on her face. Ruth thought about what Esther said, how you never knew what would come out of Becky’s mouth. Or any five-year-old for that matter. Ruth needed to grab the reigns of this conversation.
She set down her plate and pressed her palms together, smiling. “You know what? I’m only going to be here a week, so I want to hear all about you. What are your favorite things to do? What’s your favorite color? Or anything else you’d like to share with us.”
Becky put the rest of her sandwich on her plate and pulled the slice of pie closer. Ruth should probably tell her to finish her sandwich first, the way she’d had to do with Grace, but redirecting the conversation seemed more important.
Becky shrugged, not looking at Ruth or Gideon. She forked a bite of pie then slowly raised it to her mouth, her eyebrows knitted as if she was in deep thought.
Ruth braced herself for more questions about she and Gideon. The wait seemed to go on forever, but Becky finally said, “Blue is my favorite color.”
“Mine too.” Ruth pointed to her dark-blue blouse and then to Becky’s light-blue dress. She looked at Gideon. “It was Grace’s favorite color too.”
Gideon genuinely smiled, and Ruth was happy to see that he was open to talking about Grace.
“So, I remember you being named Rebecca,” Gideon said after wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Do you always remember being called Becky?”
The child let out an exaggerated sigh before dramatically throwing her head back. Once she straightened, she sighed again and said, “I want to be called Beatrice.”
Ruth bit her lip to stifle a smile, then she glanced at Gideon.
“Beatrice?” Gideon scratched his forehead.
Ruth was still getting used to seeing him without the cropped bangs he’d always had. Now his dark hair was combed to the side. But when the wind blew, it fell forward, resembling the cut of the man she remembered.
“Why do you want to be called Beatrice?” Gideon chuckled. “I don’t think that’s an Amish name.” He looked at Ruth. “Is it?”
Ruth shrugged. “If it is, I’ve never known anyone Amish who has it. Where did you even hear that name?”
“I think a bird whispered it in my ear.” Becky covered her mouth with both hands and giggled. She lowered her hands slowly, looking back and forth between Ruth and Gideon. She laughed so hard it was contagious, and within seconds Gideon and Ruth were guffawing as if they’d just heard the funniest joke ever.
The more they laughed, the more Becky giggled. And before Ruth knew it, tears of joy pooled in the corners of her eyes from the gut-busting laughter she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
There is nothing more glorious than the laughter of a child.
When she finally caught her breath, she looked at Gideon. He’d stopped laughing
, but Ruth recognized his expression. It was original to Gideon, a look that came into his eyes, the way his jaw twitched, the manner in which his mouth was slightly open. It was the look he’d given her every time he wanted to make love.
CHAPTER 6
Gideon listened as Becky—or Beatrice, as she preferred—rattled off more of her favorite colors, how she could stand on her head for ten minutes, how she ate frog legs one time and jumped like a frog for days, and a host of other stories that had Ruth in stitches, laughing so hard, she had both arms wrapped around her middle.
Gideon laughed along with her, but he was distracted by seeing his Ruth again, the Ruth he remembered from before the accident. His longing for her caught him off guard. But it wasn’t just a physical desire. Ruth’s light seemed to grow brighter the more she laughed. He wondered if she would treasure these new memories the way he hoped to.
“Beatrice, you have done some amazing things.” Ruth finally caught her breath and looked at Gideon with an expression he remembered. If he had to label the look he would call it joyful. A familiar twinkle in her eyes lit up her face when she smiled. She seemed to be feeling something, too, their eyes connecting more than once.
For the next hour, they roamed up and down the shore of the creek, stopping to skim rocks every now and then. Their niece kept them entertained with stories and childish antics.
By the time they headed home, it wasn’t long before Princess Beatrice fell asleep in the booster seat. After Gideon parked his truck and killed the engine, the little one awoke, yawning.
Gideon climbed out of the driver’s side while Ruth helped Becky out and set her safely on the ground, then closed the passenger door.
“I need to use the bathroom.” Becky yawned again, then waved before she rushed across the front yard and into the house.
“Thanks for the great meal,” Gideon said as he walked around the truck to join Ruth. The creek seemed to take them back in time. Now they were stepping back into reality. But he wasn’t ready for the day to end. And he wasn’t looking forward to the next item on his agenda: facing their old house.
