River smiled, “I understand why you did it. You were angry with me – you’d trusted me and I broke your trust.”
I blinked back tears. “We both did. I’m really sorry too, Jake.” I said, “We really did try to fight it.”
Jake smiled and nodded, “But how do you fight against true love?” he asked sadly.
River had tears running down his face, “I love you, Jake.” He said, “You’ll always be my brother.”
Jake nodded, “Believe it or not, I love you too.” He said, “Anyway – I’d better get out of here – I’ve got a couple of calls to make – I’m getting a promotion – and I’m moving to London.”
River’s jaw dropped, “Wow,” he croaked, “Well done you.”
Jake nodded, “I know, right?” he said with a bit of a sad smile, “I’ll be back to see you tomorrow.”
Chapter 51 – Building bridges...
River
I got out of hospital after a couple of days.
After another couple of days of a lot of soul searching between the three of us, a lot of tears, accusation and arguments, we finally thrashed the whole thing out and found a way to go forward, still friends and, in the case of Jodie and I, still lovers.
Jake was leaving for London and Jodie was staying with me and we were going to stay working for Peyton at his restaurant. With me having to stay in hospital I’d missed the start of the tour so I’d put the idea of going on the road on the back burner for a few months with the promise that I might join them on the London dates.
Jodie was still smarting a little over me and Peyton having had sex the year before – but I pointed out that I’d had sex with four other guys that very same day and he soon realised that Peyton was actually no more than another faceless fuck from my past. It put things into perspective that I hadn’t slept with anyone at all from the moment I’d laid eyes on him – and never would again. I’d got what I’d been looking for – at last.
I was still dancing for Rob, but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which were fairly quiet nights. I was also only dancing on the understanding that no one was allowed access to the podium. There was no way I was gonna be felt up by a punter while I was in a committed relationship – the most successful achievement of my entire existence.
Rob had agreed to that with a smile on his face, “So the eternal bachelor has finally been tamed, huh?” he asked.
I beamed at him and nodded, “Absolutely.” I agreed, “Jodie is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Rob smiled indulgently, “Well, I’m really happy for you, son.” He said, ruffling my short hair, “And not before time either.” He added, “I was beginning to think you’d never find anyone to love.”
I nodded, “I know.” I agreed, “Me too.”
Epilogue
Six months later
River
“Honey, I’m home.” I shouted through to the lounge in a silly, sing-song voice.
I expected Jake to laugh and tell me to fuck off like he did most nights when he was actually here. I’d been staying with him for the past month. He’d been dating a guy called Austin for the past three months and he was quietly confident that they were gonna go the distance. He’d confided in me that he really thought he was in love again.
I was buzzing. I’d had a great night dancing at a really swanky club and I’d got a pocketful of tips that would buy the most amazing engagement ring I’d spotted while I was in town with Jake this afternoon. I’d taken him with me for his opinion. I’d pointed it out and he’d agreed that it really was the sort of thing Jodie would really love.
He was due to arrive tomorrow evening and I’d planned to go back in the morning to buy it.
Jake had suggested a restaurant for me to take Jodie to the following evening and I was planning to propose... The restaurant where we used to work didn’t really hold the same magic since it was where Jake and I had the bust up.
I looked up in surprise as the lounge door was about ripped off its hinges with the force it was opened.
Jodie was stood there, an ugly scowl on his face, “Honey?” he sneered, “What the fuck’s going on?”
My jaw dropped. I was shocked to see him – delighted on the one hand – but the look on his face told me I was in trouble... “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Oh, fuck off, River.” He said, tears in his eyes. He pushed past me and opened the front door. He disappeared through it and banged it shut behind him so forcefully that the mirror on the wall shook violently.
I poked my head around the living room door and looked at Jake questioningly. “What the actual fuck?” I asked.
He looked up at me incredulously, “Aren’t you going to go after him?” he asked.
“No,” I replied petulantly, flopping down on the sofa and folding my arms. I sat there staring at the TV, “He’s being a right arse.”
He shook his head, “That’s as maybe but you love his arse – and everything else about him too. Go after him you great goon. And go after him now – before he gets kidnapped or something!”
I shot back out of my seat. That was a good point – this wasn’t the best neighbourhood, “Jodie!” I yelled as I opened the door, “Jodie, wait!”
He hadn’t gone far. He was stood under the streetlight just outside the house. He scowled at me as I approached him, “What are you out here for?” he asked sullenly, “I thought you and Jake were all the thing these days.”
I gaped at him. What the hell was he talking about? “Would you like to explain where you’re getting these utterly stupid ideas from?” I asked, folding my arms and waiting for his explanation. This was utterly, utterly ridiculous.
His scowl deepened to something that actually looked quite menacing, “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” He snarled, “I’ve been dying to see you – and when I finally get a weekend free and come down a day early – your choreographer tells me you’d taken the morning rehearsal off to spend the day with your boyfriend, Jake.”
I rolled my eyes. Trust Tristan to get the wrong end of the stick. He was useless, “I’ve told him a million times that my best friend is Jake and my boyfriend is Jodie – he just got mixed up – that’s all.”
The look he gave me told me that he didn’t believe a word of it and that he really thought I’d cheat on him – I guess I couldn’t really blame him for coming to that conclusion – I hadn’t exactly been choosy about who I’d taken to my bed before I met him and I had taken the morning off to spend it with Jake – but only because I was choosing an engagement ring... Fuck. Why did everything I ever tried to do backfire on me so damned spectacularly?
“Don’t be stupid – Jake’s not into me – and he never has been – and besides that – I’m pretty sure I told you I loved you – and that’s the first time I’ve ever told anyone I lovedthem and I don’t intend to tell anyone again – ever. I have never fancied Jake. I will never fancy Jake. And I thought you were quite aware of this, but I’ll tell you again just in case there is any question in your mind at all. I love you. I want to be with you. I never want to be with anyone else – not ever.”
The corners of his mouth twitched and he looked at my sheepishly.
I smiled at him, “You’re gonna smile, aren’t you?” I asked teasingly.
Against his will, he smiled at me, “I’m sorry River,” he said softly. “Come here.”
I crossed the distance between us into his waiting arms, “Don’t be sorry,” I said, planting a little kiss on the end of his nose, “just please don’t ever doubt me or my feelings for you – I’m your guy – for as long as you want me to be.”
He nodded, “I’ve just been missing you so much and Sam was getting all antsy about it and Luca told me not to be stupid and I should have listened to him. Sam’s always antsy.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I heard that.” I said. Peyton had told me that once, I was sure. Actually I think he warned me off anyone that was antsy but there was no way on this earth I was ever going to give up on J
odie – he was everything I’d ever wanted in this world. “Will you marry me?” I blurted out. So much for the big proposal with the ring and everything...
He stared at me with his mouth slightly open, “What?” he asked.
“Marry me.” I said, “Be mine forever.”
He nodded, “I will.” He said before crashing his mouth into mine and kissing me into a mass of jelly. “I will be yours forever,” he whispered between kisses, “because I will want you forever.”
“Me too,” I murmured going in for another kiss, “Now, come on – let’s go back inside – it might well be the middle of summer but it’s fucking freezing out here.”
He took my hand and we walked back to Jake’s together.
He looked up when we walked in and grinned, “Everything okay between you two now?” he asked.
I nodded, “Everything is great.” I said.
The End...
Thank you for reading River... Redeemed. If you enjoyed this book, I would be grateful if you could help others enjoy it too. Please help other readers find it by recommending it to your friends and/or discussion groups. Please tell other readers why you liked it by reviewing it. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Coming Soon...
Alfie... Abused
Studs & Steel #3
Harley
“What do you mean, you want me to go to a gay club?” I spluttered, staring at Kody Elden as if he was completely mad. Had he found out about me? I thought I’d been hiding my sexuality quite well at work until he said that... I’d never come up on anyone’s gaydar before... in fact I worked damned hard at hiding it.
He just grinned at me, “You’ll love it,” he said, giving me a knowing look, “A word of warning, though – stay away from River McNamara,” he pulled a face, “– he’s likely to give you something nasty just from shaking your hand.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. He obviously had something against him, which I was dying to know about, “Jeez, what did he do to you?”
He grimaced, “Nothing.” He said far too quickly.
I nodded. I wasn’t about to start pissing off one of my senior officers, so I decided it was time to shut my mouth, “Okay – what do I have to do?”
He shrugged, “Nothing much – we just need a police presence there – Mr McKenzie, the owner of the club – is being harassed by one of his former acquaintances and we need to make him aware that it’s not acceptable in the club where members of the public are socialising.”
I grinned, “Socialising?” I said, “Is that what we’re calling it these days?”
He frowned at me, “Have you ever actually been to a gay club before?” he asked.
I reddened and shook my head. I’ll grant you it was pitiful that I’d known I was gay since I was twelve years old – and had had more than one boyfriend in my young life – but I’d never been out and proud – and I’d never frequented any of the gay pubs and clubs in the city that I’d grown up in.... I was a total closet gay – and I had no idea how to be anything else...
Kody smiled at me, “It might interest you to know, then, Harley – that it’s not a mass orgy – it’s just a bunch of like-minded guys letting loose and enjoying themselves in a safe atmosphere – and that’s the way we want it to stay.”
I nodded, “Of course.” I agreed, “And that’s what I’ll endeavour to achieve by being there.”
Kody slapped me on the shoulder, “Good man.” He said.
Chapter I – Coming Out...
Alfie
I came out to my parents when I was fourteen years old. I’d known since I was small that I liked boys more than girls – not that I didn’t like girls – some of my sisters friends were really lovely and were my friends too. I found it difficult to be mates with guys – the fancying them bit always got in the way and I found that I was either annoying them – or flirting with them and that definitely interfered with being able to make proper friends. In fact I’d only really started making friends when I discovered the gay clubs and found guys there that I liked but didn’t fancy. I was rather proud of myself that I could now count Simon, Buzz and River as proper ‘mates’.
I had my first serious crush at twelve – on my brother George’s best friend – much to his horror – and his best friend’s utter bemusement – he really didn’t see how he could be attractive to another guy when he was straight... I know. “But I don’t understand, George – what the hell does he see in me? I’m straight...?” It clearly didn’t occur to him that as a gay boy, I fancied men whether they were gay or straight – it was just disappointing when they weren’t gay too...
When I finally plucked up the courage – after practicing in front of my mirror for days as to the best way to break the news – to tell my parents, it was kind of an anti-climax when they both looked at me, totally non-plussed.
“We know, son.” Dad said gently, “It’s been obvious since you were about four and preferred your sister’s Disney Princesses to Action Man...”
Mum was even worse than that, “Aw honey,” she said, “we thought it was a given – you didn’t need to put yourself through all this stress – we’re proud of you regardless of your sexuality.”
Well, at least it was over and I could finally get on with things... or at least that was what I believed... Naïve? Yeah, maybe I was...
Mum took it upon herself to join a support group for parents with gay children – I didn’t even know such groups existed until she became the fucking president of hers and decided to make it her mission to find out who every gay guy was in the area for me to consider dating. No, really... I kid you not.
The final straw was when she set me up with the geek from hell that I decided to do something about it and started actively going to gay pubs and clubs to meet guys on my own terms – not that I was ever particularly successful at bagging a nice guy. The most I ever seemed to get was a snog – which was nice but not what I really wanted. I wanted to be loved. I wanted a relationship. Mum and Dad had a great relationship and I knew it wouldn’t be exactly the same for me because I was a guy who liked other guys – but I was sure I could achieve something similar at least. Love was love, wasn’t it?
I loved to dance – and the clubs were a brilliant place to meet up with guys like me. I was probably what you’d describe as a twink – which I didn’t really mind per se – but it sometimes gave people the wrong impression about me. I’d never considered myself to be a weak person – but I generally got hit on by great big bears – or other equally small and skinny guys – and I honestly couldn’t tell you who I found most attractive at the time. I guess I liked the ones that were bigger than me – but not a lot bigger. I could totally appreciate a decent set of abs – and yes, some of the big hulking guys were fucking hot – but somewhere in the middle floated my boat the most...
I was hired as a cage dancer at one of the clubs I frequented – which totally freaked my mother out, “Oh, my God – you’ll be dressing in leather jockstraps and tight fitting rubber with those goddawful chains and face masks – and then people will get the wrong idea about you!”
I stared at her in shock, “And how the hell do you know what they wear?” I asked. She really wasn’t far off the mark...
She shrugged, “I’m not as green as I’m cabbage looking, sonny,” she said with menacing frown, “And I’m not having it! You tell them that you’re okay with your skinny jeans or shorts and a tight-fitting skinny rib top and that’s as much as they’re getting from you! You’re not a piece of meat – and you’ve got brains as well as brawn.”
I grinned and nodded, “Fine.” I said.
It wasn’t long after that conversation that I found the ad for a dancer at a prestigious new club called Studs and Steel. I was offered the job the same day as I auditioned – and I’d never looked back...
I met River on my first night. He was absolutely beautiful and I was instantly smitten with him.
It didn’t take me long, however, to suss out that he wasn’
t boyfriend material. The number of times he disappeared during his shift to the toilets with various patrons was quite astonishing. I was fascinated with him – and yes, totally turned on by him when we danced together – but I saw a dangerous guy in River – as in, I would be in danger of falling in love with him – and it would not be reciprocated. He was a player – and that wasn’t what I wanted – or needed – not ever.
So I danced and occasionally kissed the punters and I was happy in my role as one of the better dancers – and then one night, when I least expected it, I met the most perfect guy. His name was Harley...
Chapter II – Studs and Steel
Harley
Going along to the Studs and Steel club, I’ve got to admit that I was a little bit excited. Kody had told me a little about it – and the comments about the kid called River aside, I was looking forward to watching the dancers.
I could totally appreciate a guy that knew how to move his body and I liked dancing myself too but I rarely got a chance – and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that while I was on duty – but there was nothing to stop me going along on my day off once I’d gotten familiar with the place – and the employees.
I nodded to the doorman – a big bear of a guy with a friendly face and a charming grin, “Hey, there.” He said smiling at me, “I take it you’re Harley?”
I nodded, “Yeah,” I said, sticking my hand out and shaking his hand enthusiastically, “I hear business is booming?”
He nodded, “Yeah,” he agreed, “It’s busiest at the weekends – obviously – but numbers are growing all week these days. We’ve introduced themed nights – so we get some older guys coming mid-week now too – it’s great.”
I nodded, “Cool – shall I just go on in?”
River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel Book 2) Page 19
