by Heather Beck
“Please don’t leave.” Anastasia hadn’t meant to say those words, especially in such a needy tone, but they had just come out like some unstoppable force.
Frost turned around and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by, but I saw your grandmother taking you home.” He blushed slightly. “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“I’ll live,” Anastasia promised.
In silence, Anastasia and Frost looked at each other. She noted how everything about him seemed unique, and it all stemmed from those light blue eyes which gazed so kindly upon her. No one had ever looked at her like that before.
“I also came to apologize,” Frost said, now looking at the ground as if he was deeply ashamed. “I was the one who gave you the rose.”
“What you did was nice – thank you,” Anastasia replied, trying to act normal even though she was delighted to confirm her suspicion of who had given her the rose.
“I was going to tell you this in a note and put it in your locker,” Frost explained awkwardly, “but I realized that would only cause more trouble.”
“Never,” Anastasia said with a small smile. “You can put notes in my locker anytime.” Trusting her instincts, she opened the door wider. “Do you want to come in?”
Frost looked conflicted. “I’d love to, but I know your grandfather doesn’t like me.”
“His feud with your father isn’t our problem.” To ease the slight tension, Anastasia added in a teasing manner, “You better come in or the cougar might get you.”
“I’m not afraid of the cougar,” Frost said quickly.
“Admitting you’re scared doesn’t emasculate you – it makes you human.”
“Okay, I was scared, but only because the cougar was there and so were you.”
This time, it was Anastasia’s turn to blush. “I guess I’ll have to join you outside then,” she said, while grabbing one of her grandmother’s coats which hung nearby and then closing the door behind her.
They began walking along Evergreen Road, admiring the scenery. Although the day had started with a gray sky, the clouds now rolled by, allowing the sun to appear every so often. Cedar Falls truly was a beautiful place, and as Anastasia took a deep breath of the fresh, chilly air, she temporarily forgot that danger lurked in the woods.
“I love it here,” Frost stated. “I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.”
“It has some good things to offer,” Anastasia said, casting Frost an interested side glance.
Pleased, Frost smirked. “I hear Toronto has a lot to offer, too. Why did you come to Cedar Falls?”
“You really don’t know? I assumed my sordid trysts with Mr. O’Donoghue weren’t the only rumor now circulating about me. Give them a little scandal, and people like to keep on digging.”
“I don’t trust gossip,” Frost said gently, as if to ease Anastasia’s growing agitation. “That’s why I’m asking you.”
“Sorry,” Anastasia said through a sigh. “To be honest, it was my mother’s decision to send me here.”
“Tell her I say thank you.”
Blushing yet again, Anastasia turned her face away. “So, you never told me the real meaning of your name,” she said casually, hoping that he would open up to her. She cringed afterwards, realizing that she may have sounded insensitive.
“Unfortunately, those rumors are true,” Frost answered, his expression suddenly changing to one of anger.
“I can’t imagine,” Anastasia said sympathetically.
“Well, I can. I have these memories of lying in the woods, cold, crying and filled with fear and confusion.”
“That...that’s impossible,” Anastasia interjected in shock. “You were just a baby.”
“Then explain how I remember it.” When Anastasia couldn’t offer a response, he continued. “The Stones have given me so much, and I’m extremely grateful for them, but a part of me still wants to find my biological parents.”
“It’s natural to want to know where you came from,” Anastasia said gently.
“No,” Frost sneered, his jaw clenching with an anger he was obviously trying to control. “When I find them, I’m going to look straight into their eyes and say exactly how I feel. I hate them, and they should damn well know it.”
With wide eyes, Anastasia stood back and looked at Frost. He’d turned into a spiteful, vengeful person, and although he had every right to be mad, it just made him ugly. Anastasia didn’t like what she saw, especially since it differed so vastly from his usual demeanor.
“I need to get back to school,” Frost said abruptly, while heading in the direction they had come.
“Of course,” Anastasia said softly, sad that he had to leave. The truth was she liked being around Frost, even when he acted a little bipolar.
After walking Anastasia back to her house, Frost faced her and said apologetically, “I shouldn’t have unloaded that on you.”
Gently, Anastasia touched Frost’s arm while looking into his eyes. “I’m glad you feel like you can talk to me,” she whispered as she leaned her body closer to him.
Frost smiled at Anastasia and then wrapped her in his arms. Although she’d hoped for a kiss, she settled into his arms, feeling warm and safe. She let out a content sigh, noting how he had a unique scent to him; almost like a mixture of the woods and rich spices. Finally, Frost released his grasp on Anastasia, causing a wave of sadness to come over her.
“I’ll see you soon,” Frost promised, before heading back to his SUV.
From her porch, Anastasia gave Frost a small wave and then watched as he disappeared down the road. As she stood there, her mind circulated with thoughts. Anastasia had seen how Frost’s anger affected him; it mirrored her own behavior, especially toward her mother. Suddenly, she realized that unlike Frost’s parents, her mother had never truly abandoned her. It may have felt that way upon learning she would be going to Cedar Falls alone, but perhaps her mother only made that decision to help Anastasia. In hindsight, she could see that she’d done nothing to make the situation any easier for her mother or even herself.
Swallowing her pride, Anastasia retrieved her cell phone and began to compose a text message. Although she wasn’t ready to disclose everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours, she believed that her mother deserved more than just one word replies.
Mom, I know we haven’t talked much since I arrived in Cedar Falls, but I’m still getting used to being here. Grandma and Grandpa are doing fine. Grandma’s been asking about you. How’s everything in Toronto?
Anastasia re-read the message, noting how it was bland and almost formal. However, it was civil and showed that she’d made an effort – that had to count for something. Taking a deep breath, she sent the message, and within a minute, she received a response. Although her mother’s message was also unexciting and mostly filled with details about her workday, at least they were talking, and that’s something Anastasia hadn’t been able to say for the longest time.
* * *
Part Four: The Sweetest Temptation
With her head held high, Anastasia ignored the stares and whispers as she walked down the hallway of Cedar Falls High the next day. In her mind, she kept repeating her grandmother’s words – the truth will come out – and that gave her strength. Also a great comfort was Chloe, who had driven her to school and was still by her side, acting as if it was no big deal to be associating with her. Just like when they were young, Chloe was once again proving herself to be a loyal, trustworthy person, and Anastasia couldn’t be happier about having her as a friend.
“How are you holding up?” Chloe asked Anastasia quietly, obviously not wanting to embarrass her.
“Ask me again after English,” Anastasia replied through a sigh, cursing the fact that it was her first class of the day.
Chloe cast Anastasia a sympathetic look. “Think of it this way – seeing Mr. O’Donoghue now means you don’t have to worry about it all day.”
“I know you’re right. Thanks for bei
ng so...”
Before Anastasia could finish her sentence, a tall, skinny and somewhat nerdy-looking boy slung his arm around her shoulder and whispered loudly into her ear, “I hear you’re always ready for a good time – does that apply to students, too, or are you only interested in teachers?”
Anastasia was so taken aback by the boy’s sudden appearance and derogative words that she just stared at him with wide eyes. Luckily, Chloe was quick to react.
“I’m surprised you of all people listen to rumors, Sean. I remember some pretty nasty ones about you. Something about paying your cousin to go with you to last year’s school dance. And what about the one of you spying on girls in the change room?” Chloe stepped closer to Sean, whose face was now bright red. “The difference between you and Anastasia is that the rumors about her aren’t true.”
“I...I was only joking with her,” Sean stuttered, causing the gawking bystanders to laugh at him.
“You’re so not funny,” Chloe said, shaking her head in disgust.
Finally finding her voice, Anastasia angrily pushed Sean away from her and hissed, “Go to hell.”
“Sean’s a total wannabe,” Chloe told Anastasia as they continued down the hallway at a slightly quicker pace. “Don’t pay any attention to him.”
“It’s not just him, though,” Anastasia said, coming to a stop a few feet from her English classroom. “It’s what everyone is thinking.”
“Not the important people,” Chloe promised. “Listen, I have to get to class. I know you have the literacy group at lunch, so I guess I won’t see you until after school – or maybe at the assembly during last period. Either way, text me any time if you need to talk, okay?”
“Thank you,” Anastasia said, before giving Chloe a quick hug and then watching her walk away.
With a deep breath, Anastasia entered the classroom and took her usual seat. The stares and whispers were even worse in the class, and when Mr. O’Donoghue arrived, she had to muster all her confidence to look him in the eye. She was positive that he’d heard the rumors, and more than likely, he’d already been questioned about it by the principal.
“Good morning,” Mr. O’Donoghue greeted them like it was an ordinary day. “I’d like to begin this class with a discussion rather than a lecture.” Retrieving a piece of chalk, he wrote in big letters, Lies and deceit. As if his statement wasn’t bold enough, he underlined his words, causing the chalk to scrape noisily over the blackboard.
Why is he doing this? Anastasia thought, resisting the urge to slide down in her seat. She highly doubted this was the lesson he’d originally prepared for today’s class.
“Lies and deceit,” Mr. O’Donoghue said, pausing briefly before continuing, “is one of the many themes Milton uses in Paradise Lost. Yet, I would argue it is the most important because of its effects on the characters and plot. Do you agree with me, and if not, why?”
As usual, no one raised their hand, and although Anastasia had several thoughts to share, she didn’t feel comfortable speaking up. She knew that it was much easier to merely fade into the crowd of silent students.
“You all must agree with me then – terrific!” Mr. O’Donoghue said in a good-natured tone, even though Anastasia suspected that it was somewhat forced. “Satan perfectly epitomizes this theme because he is constantly deceiving others, especially by the use of disguises. He’s also the one who tells the most lies. However, it’s not until Satan combines these two elements that he causes the most damage. Can anyone give me an example?”
This time, a girl raised her hand. “When Satan disguises himself as a snake and lies to Eve so she’ll eat the forbidden fruit.”
“Excellent answer,” Mr. O’Donoghue praised the girl. “What this teaches us is that anonymity and lies are a dangerous combination, and this lesson is as prevalent today as it is in Milton’s epic. Examples, anyone?”
Knowing exactly what Mr. O’Donoghue was trying to prove and gaining strength from his courage to take a stand, Anastasia raised her hand, finally ready to speak her mind. “The Internet is a prime example of a disguise. Anyone can hide behind their computer or phone, using it as a means for spreading lies that have absolutely no foundation. What they don’t realize is that their vicious deceit has consequences, and while they may be anonymous for now, the truth will be revealed.”
The class became deadly silent, and this time, it was a smile that Anastasia had to hide.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Mr. O’Donoghue commented, casting Anastasia a reassuring smile. Turning to the rest of the class, he continued, “Although Satan is clearly at fault for being the originator of the lie, the other characters are also responsible when they decide to believe him. Like Eve, we all have the choice whether or not to believe what we’re being told, so remember to always choose wisely.” He paused and then added with a smirk, “I guess this was a lecture after all.”
By the time English class had come to an end, Anastasia was in better spirits, making it easier for her to handle the next couple of classes and even the literacy group meeting. Still, she was glad when it was time for the assembly because it meant that she might see Chloe, and a friendly face was always welcome, especially in an environment like this. Anastasia also thought about the possibility of running into Frost and that made her heart flutter. If only she hadn’t promised Chloe that she’d stay away from him – it had been such a childish thing to do and obviously something that she wouldn’t be able to uphold.
Wanting to put her books away so she wouldn’t have to carry them to the assembly, Anastasia headed toward her locker. After reaching it, she opened the door and found a folded note which fell onto the floor. Picking it up, she immediately recognized the handwriting as belonging to Frost.
Anastasia,
I’m still thinking about the conversation we had yesterday. I’ve never been able to open up so easily to anyone before, and it’s the first time I felt like I could be honest without fear of being judged. I hope I can return this favor to you since being the new girl in town – especially in a place like Cedar Falls – must be hard. I’m not a fool, and I know the things people say about me, but I have a feeling you’ve already looked past that. If I’m right, meet me in the woods behind the school while everyone is at the assembly. I’ll be waiting.
Frost
A shiver of excitement ran throughout Anastasia’s body. She knew that it wasn’t a good idea to miss the assembly or venture into the woods, but she didn’t care. Waiting until the hallway was empty, she grabbed her coat and then hurried through the back door.
The early afternoon sun was high in the sky, shining brightly and making the snow-covered trees and ground sparkle as if it was a winter wonderland. Amongst the beautiful scenery, Anastasia noted a pair of footprints leading deep into the woods. She followed them and soon came upon Frost, whose back was turned to her as he stared into the distance.
As if sensing her presence, he turned around, smiled and said, “You came.”
“There was no need for you to doubt that,” Anastasia replied, smiling back at him. “So, what are we doing out here?”
“Why tell when I can show?” Frost said, guiding her forward.
After a few minutes of walking, they came to a bend in the woods. Anastasia heard ducks quacking nearby, and when they turned around the corner, she saw a small frozen pond filled with colorful mallards. When the ducks saw them, they began to quack louder.
Frost led Anastasia to a flat rock that made the perfect seat for two. Since the sun was shining upon it, he only had to swipe away a light dusting of snow before gesturing for her to sit down. As they both did so, the ducks waddled excitedly toward them.
“They’re so pretty,” Anastasia commented, especially noting the brilliant hues of green on some of their feathers, “but why do they stay? It’s not like there’s anything here for them.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Frost said, retrieving a small bag from his coat pocket. “They fly here almost every
day, knowing they’ll be fed. That sounds like a sweet deal to me.” He opened the bag, offering the contents to her.
Anastasia took a handful of the bread crumb, peanut and bird seed mix, and then gently tossed it toward the eager ducks. She’d been starting to wonder what that bulge in Frost’s pocket was, and she would’ve never guessed it was duck feed. She almost snickered at the thought.
“I’ve never skipped school to do something like this,” Anastasia said, taking more of the mix and sprinkling it a couple of feet in front of her. “Now I truly know what a badass you are.”
“I promise you’re not missing anything important. They have these assemblies every month, and it’s basically an excuse for the principal and teachers to tell each other what a wonderful job they’re doing – in front of an audience, of course.”
“Of course. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
Frost smirked before quickly turning serious. “Sometimes I can’t stand being in school. People think they know you, but they don’t.”
Soothingly, Anastasia placed her hand on Frost’s knee. “You never have to pretend around me. I understand what you’re going through at school, probably better than anyone else.”
“I have secrets, Anastasia.”
“We all do. So, why don’t you start by telling me one of yours?”
Appearing hesitant, Frost looked at the ground, as if he was contemplating something very serious. However, when he lifted his head a moment later, his disposition had changed and he now wore a smile, although Anastasia sensed that it wasn’t completely sincere.
“Well, it’s not exactly scandalous,” Frost began slowly, “but one of my biggest passions is music. I’ve been playing the guitar since I was ten, and I even write my own lyrics – not that they’re any good.”
