“That’s about it.”
Jordan broke out in a grin. “I think that’s a great idea.” He pushed his hand into Dylan’s. “Let me know what time you want me in, boss.”
“I’ll be in touch.” Dylan held out his hands. “You sure you don’t want me to carry you?”
“We can manage,” Skyla, who had been silent through the whole exchange, said, stepping in the way of Dylan. “I don’t want you to fire him before he’s even started work.”
“I was joking.” Dylan said. “But seriously, any time. Anything you need. You know where I am.”
“Thanks for the use of the quad,” Skyla said, as she walked over to fetch the car.
“She is a fine woman,” Dylan said.
“I know. I’m blessed, and I never thought I’d say those words again.”
“Things happen for a reason, Jordan. You may not see it now, but one day it will become clear.”
“I hope so. No legs and no bear is not a good place to be.”
“No bear? You can’t shift?”
“Didn’t Skyla tell you? That’s why we used the quad, to go up into the mountains, she hoped I might find the missing part of myself there.”
“Did you?”
Jordan shook his head. “No. At least… not really.”
“But you felt something?” Dylan asked.
“I don’t know, maybe it was my imagination.”
“And maybe it wasn’t. I’m sure your bear is still there.”
“Why? How can you be so sure?”
“Because, in the same way you would want to die without Skyla, you probably would die without your bear.”
“You really think so?” Jordan asked.
“I believe it. You are one with that mangy black bear inside you, or wherever he is. Maybe the connection just went down.”
“The connection went down. I’m not a jumper fuse.”
“We don’t know how this bear thing works. So who knows?”
Skyla pulled up next to the ATV and got out of the car. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” Jordan looked at Dylan. “I’m going to think about what you said. Then I might be back.”
“For what?” Dylan asked.
“I’ll let you know. If you’re around tomorrow, I might come over.”
“If it’s bear stuff, come up to my house. It’s on the same plot as my grandpa’s.”
“Thanks. I will.”
“Sure you don’t need a hand?” Dylan asked, pointing to the car.
“We’ve got this,” Skyla said, coming around to stand by Jordan. “But thanks for everything.”
“My pleasure.” He pointed at Jordan. “Tomorrow, I want to know what kind of harebrained scheme you have in your head.”
“I’ll work out the details and let you know.” Jordan watched Dylan walk back to his office.
“So what’s this big idea that’s put a smile on your face?” Skyla asked.
“Just something Dylan said has given me an idea.”
“Care to share?” she asked, as she helped him into the car. “I am getting the hang of this.”
“Thank you. For today. For yesterday.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go home and eat.”
Chapter Thirteen – Skyla
“That was yummy, again,” Skyla said, as she placed her knife and fork down on her empty plate.
“Wait until you taste dessert,” he said, wheeling himself backwards and opening the fridge. Jordan had shut her out of the kitchen, telling her to go and have a bath or enjoy some free time doing whatever she wanted, while he cooked their evening meal.
She had to admit, he had changed. Something had come over him, a new confidence, a new sense of peace. He wouldn’t tell her what his big plan was, the one he had been discussing with Dylan, but whatever it was, she was now even more convinced that was the reason for his change in mood.
“You are spoiling me,” she said. Jordan placed a chocolate cake down on the kitchen table. It was covered in thick chocolate frosting and made her mouth water just looking at it. She’d thought she was full, but there was no way she could refuse something so heavenly.
“My mom used to make this recipe.”
“So it’s a black bear recipe?” Skyla asked.
“Yes, from black bear country,” he joked.
“I’d like to meet your family,” she said. Jordan’s hand paused before cutting the cake, and she knew she’d hit a nerve. “Don’t you think we should go and see them—if I’m really your mate, don’t they deserve that?”
“You really are my mate,” he said, setting a piece down in front of her. “But… They came to see me when I was in the hospital. It was difficult.” He cut another piece for himself, but didn’t eat it; instead, he clasped his hands in front of his mouth, resting on them. When he was ready to speak, he placed them on the table. “It saddened them. To see what I was.”
“Saddened?” she asked. “Did that make you feel guilty?”
“No. It made me feel miserable.”
“Right, because they were sad?”
“Because it was me who had made them sad.” He toyed with his cake and then said, “They knew them. The men who died. Knew each and everyone one of them. So I think they felt guilty I was alive and so many other parents, wives, and children had lost someone they loved.”
“If you don’t see them, then they will have lost their son or brother,” she said. “You can’t avoid each other.”
“I know. They know. We talk on the phone, but I’m not ready to see them again. Not yet.”
“Not until you and Dylan have your scheme underway.”
“It’s not a scheme.”
“Of course it isn’t.” She began to eat her cake. “This is heaven.”
“It is,” he said, and she was sure he didn’t mean the cake.
“Maybe now you have found a mate, they might be happier. You know, something positive in all this.”
“I’m sure they will.” He smiled. “Just give me a couple of weeks, then we can go and visit. My mom would love you. My dad would talk to you about cows all day.”
“You come from a cattle ranch?”
“My dad has been in cattle his whole life. He taught me how to be practical. How to use my hands and build things. He always assumed I would follow in his footsteps; he was disappointed when I joined the Army.”
“Ahh, I see. And are you sure that isn’t where you should be moving back to? You don’t think instead of working for Dylan, you should be out there rounding up cows?” Skyla asked, eating the last mouthful of her cake.
“What good would I be there?” he asked.
“You have the motorized wheelchair arriving any day. Or you could use an ATV.”
“You are always full of good ideas, I like that. But really, I joined the Army and moved away because I knew my future did not lie in the price of beef.”
“Farming isn’t for you?” she asked. “Why?”
“I never enjoyed it. I enjoyed repairing stuff, the roof, the walls. I liked decorating. If you want paper hung, I’m your man. But chasing cows all day? No. Not me.”
“What did your dad think of that?” Skyla asked. “Is there a rift?”
“No.” He laughed and wiped his mouth. “I have three brothers. They are all ranch men, all of them could talk beef all day. So I figured, even though I was the eldest, and the farm should pass to me by rights, I would leave and go and find my own life. And I did. I found the Army. So, if I go back now, where does that leave everyone?”
“In a whole heap of confusion.” She nodded.
“Exactly. My dad will feel obliged to leave the farm to the man who is least worthy of it, my brothers will be resentful, and I’ll be unhappy.” He shook his head. “That is why I came back here. My dad moved here when he met my mom, but black bear country is where the best grazing land is. So eventually, they moved back to his hometown. They waited until we all finished school, but my dad needed the open prairie. It’s whe
re good honest cattle are raised, or so he’d have us all believe.”
Skyla sat back in her chair. “Families. Mine is about as small and uncomplicated as it could be. Just me and my dad, until my stepmom came on the scene. Then, bam. I didn’t have a home; I was the outsider.”
“Wicked stepmother?” Jordan asked.
“No, it would have been easier if she was. My stepmom, Dorothy, is about the nicest person on the planet. But I was used to having my dad to myself. The house I grew up in had always been our home, and then suddenly, it was their home.”
“And you moved out?”
“Yes. For completely different reasons to you, yet the outcome is the same. I could not move back there. My dad and Dorothy are happy. That’s all that matters to me. I visit, but we are all relieved when I go away again.”
“You have a home again, Skyla. Here, with me.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “I want you to know what’s mine is yours.”
She blew the air out her cheeks, wanting to let go of the emotion boiling up inside her. “Thank you, Jordan. I’ve missed having somewhere to call home.” She wiped her eyes, although she was sure she wasn’t going to cry. But speaking of her childhood, of her dad, had brought up feelings she had squashed down into a box, which she’d then put the strongest lock she could find on to keep them in.
“I guess when my mom left, I felt abandoned. Then when my dad met Dorothy, I felt abandoned all over again.” She looked up at him and smiled. “But if they only feel one tenth of what I feel for you, then I can let it go.”
“Good girl.” He pulled his hand away from her. “More cake?”
“No, I am stuffed. Why don’t you go and take a shower, or whatever else you want to do, while I do the dishes?” She stood up. “Then I’m going to have to start thinking of what I plan to do.”
“About what?” he asked, maneuvering himself out from under the table.
“A job. I am being paid to look after you. Once you start work, I’m going to find it hard to justify being paid to be here, without feeling … cheap. And I don’t want to feel that way about our relationship”
“We’ll figure something out.” He paused on his way out of the kitchen, and then half turned his wheelchair back towards her. “You are giving up living in with your patients, aren’t you?” he asked.
She smiled. “I told you I never wanted to leave Bear Bluff.” She began to run the water into the sink. “And I guess I want to never leave your side either. Well, not your side, exactly, but you get the picture.”
“I do. It’s the same picture I have.”
Chapter Fourteen – Jordan
He hadn’t asked her to share his bed; he didn’t have to. Skyla had gone upstairs to her bedroom to change, and then she had come back down again, dressed in that cute nightshirt with a kitten on the front. It pulled just tight enough across her breasts for him to experience a feeling of tension in his body, that spread into parts he thought dead of feeling.
“Do you know, I’ve never shared a bed with a man two nights in a row,” she said, resting her head on his chest.
“Then I am honored,” he said, absently stroking her shoulder. He sighed, and then added, “I’ve never shared a bed with a woman for one night without there being sex involved.”
She chuckled, her body pressing against his. “Is that a not so subtle hint?”
“No,” he said, mortified she would think that. “I’m not pressuring you into anything. Obviously, because…”
“I was joking,” she said. “I just need a little time to get used to how quickly everything has happened, and to be sure I’m not rushing you into something. You know in case you’ve latched on to me, using me as a crutch when you are vulnerable.”
“I can see how that would happen, but that is not the case here. You know that.”
“All I know is there is some highly implausible story that people can shift into bears, or lions, or tigers. Which do you think a tribunal would believe if someone reported me for improper patient-nurse behavior?”
“We haven’t done anything improper… Yet.”
“I’m in your bed.” She wriggled closer to him. “You do know that isn’t what nurses usually do. Or are you that irresistible to women, all your nurses fall into your bed?”
He shifted his weight, pushing the fleeting moment of anger away. He wanted to take her now, to turn her on to her back, and slide between her thighs and make love to her until she cried out his name at the height of pleasure.
He sighed, letting that frustration go, and decided to enjoy what he could of her in this moment. He cupped her face in his hand, and leaned forward to kiss her. She responded immediately, as hungry for him as he was for her. She was soft, her curvy body melded to his as if they were joined, and in this moment, they were. They were one, his pleasure her pleasure, her arousal his arousal.
Skyla slipped a leg over his thighs, pressing herself against him. He wanted to touch her, to make her come. They didn’t have to be naked. Slipping his hand down between their bodies, he stroked her stomach, and then lower, waiting for her to pull back, but she didn’t, not even when he grazed her clit with his fingers, the fabric of her panties a barrier between them.
Moaning gently, she moved to give him better access, and he pinched her clit between his thumb and forefinger, before sliding his finger along the length of her shielded sex. The heat between her thighs told him how aroused she was. Stroking, pinching, rubbing, her panties becoming wet as her need for release grew, she writhed against him.
His kisses grew fiercer, his fingers probing, until she finally crested the wave of pleasure that had been waiting to break, and came, her body shuddering as her orgasm took hold of her. He didn’t let up. Pressing his finger against her sex, while his thumb rubbed her clit, he made her ride out her orgasm until she was completely spent.
Only when she softened against him did her release her, with the words, “No, no other nurse has ever climbed into my bed.”
She let out a sigh of contentment. “And no other nurse will.”
“No other woman, ever again.” He kissed her lightly. “We should get some sleep.”
“We should,” she said, slipping her hand down under the covers, and taking hold of his hand, bringing it up to her mouth and kissing his knuckles. “Thank you.”
“I want to make you happy in every way,” he said, knowing that was not going to be easy. The same dull stirring had threaded its way through his body while he was kissing her, but it wasn’t enough for him to become fully aroused. It was frustrating, and yet hopeful. Two days ago, he would have sworn he could feel nothing from the waist down, now there was a subtle something.
He laughed to himself. A something: that must be a medical term for it’s all in your head, or wishful thinking. But he’d take it. “Good night, Skyla.”
She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, as if her kiss might turn him from a frog to a prince. “Good night, Jordan. Sweet dreams.”
“I hope so,” he said, apprehensive as always that his dreams would be filled with the past. Why couldn’t he dream of the future, of Skyla laying naked on a mountain meadow while he looked down on her?
***
His dreams weren’t sweet, but they weren’t terrible either, they were a vague nothingness. Until he heard something else, something that didn’t belong in sleep or dreams.
She moved beside him, and he woke to see Skyla slipping out of bed and padding over to her robe, which was draped over a chair in the corner of the room. It took him a moment to wake up enough to process what was happening.
“Hello?” she said into her phone.
Jordan wiped his face, sudden concern passing through him. A glance at the clock on the nightstand told him it was 3:00 a.m. Only family or emergencies called at this time of night.
“I see.” There was a hitch in her voice. “Is he going to be OK?” she asked.
Jordan wanted to take the phone from her and demand to know what was happe
ning and who was upsetting his mate. The need to protect her was almost too much. He rolled towards the edge of the bed, frustrated and helpless at being stuck in the bed. Then, to his astonishment, his ankle pressed down to lever him forward.
He stopped moving, Skyla forgotten for one moment, as the elation swept over him. He could move his foot. Jordan pressed down again, only this time nothing happened. He tried again, nothing. His frustration with himself grew. He wanted to rage at himself, to tell himself to get over whatever it was that held him back, that made him an invalid.
“I’ll come at once.”
Her words, spoken into the phone were heartbreaking; as she ended the call, her phone still grasped in her hand, he could see tears on her cheeks. “Skyla. Come here, love. Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how I can fix it.”
She looked up at him and smiled sadly. “You can’t fix it. Only the doctors can, hopefully.” Her voice broke, and she got up and came to his open arms. “My dad had a heart attack. That was Dorothy. I have to go.”
“Is he going to be OK?” Jordan asked, holding her close, soothing her as he tried to wipe her tears away.
“Yes, she thinks so. The doctors are putting stents in to widen his arteries.” She turned to face him. “I’m going to ring Ben and see if he can arrange someone else to come here and stay with you.”
“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t need anyone else.”
“Please, I can’t leave you alone. I’ll worry.”
“You don’t have to leave me alone,” he said. “I’m coming with you.”
“Jordan, I don’t want you to have a setback.”
“The only setback I’ll have will be caused by not being with you.” He stroked her hair and kissed her. “I want to be there for you. Please.”
She looked at him, still beautiful despite her tear-stained face. “Thank you.” She hugged him and then pulled away. “I’ll pack what we need.”
He sat up and reached across for his clothes. This was something he could do. He didn’t need the use of his legs, or the bear inside him to be there for his mate. But as he dressed, he wished he was whole all the same.
Black Bear Down: BBW Bear Shifter Paranormal Romance (Return To Bear Bluff Book 3) Page 7
