by Hannah Ellis
“No,” Elizabeth said. “It’s freezing. Stay inside, where it’s warm.”
Annette hugged her goodbye and Elizabeth thanked her again for looking after Tilly and for a lovely afternoon.
The air was drier when she stepped outside, and the temperature had plummeted. Frost sparkled on the ground and Elizabeth’s breath came out in in hazy puffs as she walked slowly down the drive. She told herself she was taking her time to take in the beautiful scenery of the frosted countryside.
“I’ll just wait a few minutes for the car to heat up,” she said to Tilly in the car. “Then we’ll go home.” She was stalling for time, disappointed she hadn’t got to see Max again. She glanced at Tilly in the rear view mirror. “I can’t believe you spent the whole weekend with him.”
Pulling the piece of paper out of her pocket, she studied Max’s number. Why had Wendy thought she should call him? She really wasn’t a fan of his wife if she happily gave his number out to other women.
She was about to drive away when a knock at the window almost made her jump out of her skin.
It was Max. He looked out of breath. When he opened the door, Elizabeth stepped out of the car.
“I thought I’d missed you,” he said.
He was standing too close and it made her uncomfortable.
“I thought you were avoiding me,” she said.
“I was.”
She wanted to move away, but she was sandwiched between him and the car. And, of course, part of her didn’t want to move at all.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said. “I’ve tried, but I can’t. And seeing you again made it a million times worse.”
“Max. I—” She wanted to tell him she felt the same, but he talked over her.
“I made the biggest mistake of my life and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m miserable.”
She fought for something to say. He was miserable – that filled her with hope. The trouble was, he was still married, even if it was a mistake.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step away.
All Elizabeth wanted to do was pull him back to her.
“I probably shouldn’t have chosen the pub as a place to hide from you. I drank too much and now I’m acting like an idiot.”
“No,” she said. “you’re not. I think about you too––”
“Do you?” he asked earnestly.
“Yes, but––” He moved quickly and her head spun when his lips met hers. What was he doing? She should stop him. He was married, and he was drunk. For a brief moment she didn’t care. It felt so good. She didn’t want to think about anything; she just wanted to kiss him.
“Stop,” she said, finally pushing him away. “I can’t do this.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m the world’s biggest idiot. This is why I wanted to stay away. Every time I see you I want to kiss you.”
“You don’t need to apologise,” she said.
“Of course I do. I just kissed you. I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s okay,” she said, wanting to reassure him. He looked distraught.
His features creased in confusion as he backed away. “Of course it’s not okay.”
She watched him go and when he disappeared from sight, she climbed into the car and rested her head on the steering wheel. How on earth would she ever get over him?
Chapter 48
Seeing Max again left Elizabeth feeling unbalanced. She’d spent so long convincing herself that she was happy without him, but their encounter had undone all of that. He’d left her an emotional wreck once again. She called Josie on Sunday evening and had a long conversation about him. It got her nowhere, of course. She just talked in circles. It was time to stop thinking about him, but how often had she told herself that over the past six months?
Thankfully, she had editing projects to keep her occupied for the week, and she got stuck into work.
The slip of paper with Max’s number hung on the fridge, teasing her every time she passed it. She was never going to use it, of course. What would she do, call and ask him to leave his wife for her? No. If he wanted to be with Elizabeth he needed to end his marriage first, without any interference from her. She should just throw the scrap of paper away. She really should.
On Thursday morning, she pulled her coat on and headed to Dotty’s house with Tilly by her side. She enjoyed dropping in to the knitting club now and again, and she was glad of it today – she was in desperate need of company.
The grey-haired old lady, Penny, sat in her usual spot in the corner of Dotty’s living room and barely looked up from her knitting. Tammy the friendly postwoman was there too. She greeted Elizabeth warmly, as always.
“How was your weekend?” Dotty asked. She handed Elizabeth a coffee, then sat and picked up her knitting. Tilly lay quietly at Elizabeth’s feet.
“It was good,” she said. “I went up to visit my sister in Oxford.”
“Lovely,” Tammy said. “It’s nice to get away sometimes. What did you get up to?”
Elizabeth gave them a quick rundown of the weekend, and then happened to mention that she’d left Tilly at Oakbrook.
“Oh, it’s a gorgeous place,” Dotty said. “Annette and Wendy are lovely. Annette is Rob Anderson’s sister. He and his wife, Charlotte, used to own your cottage.”
“Yes, I know,” Elizabeth said. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised that Dotty knew. Dotty seemed to know everything about Hope Cove, but it hadn’t occurred to Elizabeth that her knowledge reached as far as Oakbrook. “I bumped into Max Anderson, actually – the son of the old owners.”
“Those Anderson boys,” Tammy said. “They always caused a stir with the teenage girls when they stayed for the summers.”
“Oh yes,” Dotty agreed. “Tammy used to follow James and Dan around like a little lost lamb.”
“I did not!” she protested.
“You did! I’d see you in the village, popping your bubble gum and twirling your hair, laughing like a hyena at everything Dan said.”
Tammy blushed. “They were gorgeous,” she said. “And for a teenage girl growing up in a village, they were like rock stars! James was always a bit above himself but Dan was lovely. I had a crush on him for about three summers!”
Elizabeth hadn’t realised the family had been so well known in the village and it was fun hearing about them, and watching Tammy relive the memories.
“Who’s Dan?” she asked.
“The middle brother,” Tammy said. “James, Dan and Max – though Max was quite a bit younger. I never knew him very well.”
“I thought there were just two brothers?”
“Three,” Dotty said firmly. “Poor Charlotte had her hands full. They still seem to cause trouble now, even when they’re grown up. Although I think Charlotte has a tendency to involve herself in their lives too much.” She turned to Tammy. “I told you about the drama with Dan’s wedding?”
“Yes,” Tammy said with a pout. “I know I’m happily married with kids, but my heart still broke a little when he got married. You never truly get over those teenage crushes.”
“What happened with his wedding?” Elizabeth asked.
“They changed the date,” Dotty told her. “Apparently the venue they wanted had been booked up but had a last-minute cancellation. So they organised this huge wedding in three weeks. Poor Charlotte was appalled: a lot of her friends couldn’t make the new date at such short notice.”
Elizabeth’s conversation with Charlotte played slowly back in her mind, and then her recent chat with Max. She couldn’t quite get things straight in her head. It was Max who’d changed his wedding date. Dotty must be getting confused.
“Wasn’t that Max?” Elizabeth said, trying to sound casual. “I’m sure it was Max who changed the date of his wedding.”
“Definitely Dan,” Tammy said. “Unfortunately.” She caught herself and smiled. “I am happily married, I promise!”
“I must be confused,” Elizabeth said, her mind whirrin
g. “Max is getting married this year, then?” she asked. “July, is it?” She hoped she sounded as casual as she intended. Max wasn’t married yet after all? And if he wasn’t, what did that mean for her? She could call him, tell him how she felt about him. It wasn’t too late.
“No, no,” Dotty said, her knitting needles clicking as she worked. “That was another little drama. He called the wedding off unexpectedly. Honestly, Charlotte has had such a time of it: one son cancels a wedding and another changes the date, within a couple of weeks.”
Elizabeth set her coffee down, worried her hands would shake. Her mouth felt like sandpaper and she swallowed hard. “Max is single?” she asked.
“The last Anderson bachelor,” Tammy said, chuckling. “Get in there quick if you’re interested!”
There was a pause. The click of knitting needles filled the room.
“I am interested,” Elizabeth said, her voice a frantic whisper. “Oh my God. I thought he was already married.”
Dotty stopped knitting. Everyone looked at Elizabeth.
“I think you need to tell us more,” Tammy said.
“I need to go,” Elizabeth said, standing. “I need to call him.”
“Don’t leave us in suspense!” Tammy said as she and Dotty followed Elizabeth into the hallway.
“He’s the reason I moved here,” Elizabeth told them as she put her shoes on hurriedly. “I met him last summer when I was on holiday here for a week. I was engaged and so was he, so nothing could happen. We went back to our lives. I really have to go and call him.”
“No!” Tammy said. “Finish the story!”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about him,” Elizabeth said, grabbing her coat but not bothering to put it on. “I knew I had to change my life, so I quit my job and left my fiancé. But when I went to see Charlotte, she told me about the wedding. His brother’s wedding, I guess. I thought she meant Max. I thought I’d missed my chance.”
“But didn’t you say you saw him at the weekend?” Tammy said, confused.
“I did. And he kissed me! I told him I wasn’t interested, but that was only because I thought he was married.” She paused on the doorstep. “I’m not even sure if he knows I called off my wedding too. I need to call him.”
“Yes,” Dotty said. “Go!”
“Call him,” Tammy said excitedly. “And let us know what happens,” she shouted after Elizabeth.
Chapter 49
Why wasn’t he answering his phone? Elizabeth was a nervous wreck. Flopping onto the couch, she tried calling Josie but her phone went to voicemail. She didn’t bother leaving Josie a message. She hadn’t left Max a message either. Maybe she should call again and leave one, or send him a text. Staring at her phone screen, she wondered what to write. It was hard to believe he was really single, and that maybe there was some hope for them after all. She had to speak to him.
She decided she’d leave him a message, then felt shaky as she listened to his phone ring and wondered whether he’d answer. When the voicemail beeped, she panicked and pressed end. What should she say? She didn’t know where to start.
She should tell him she thought he was already married – that was probably the main point. And that she was single! But it was such a weird message to leave.
At the sound of a car engine, she looked outside. It was Josie. Elizabeth had no idea why her sister was visiting, but she couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Someone to talk it all over with was exactly what she needed.
When she opened the front door, Josie was in floods of tears.
“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked, ushering her inside.
“Everything seems to be going wrong,” Josie spluttered. “I needed to get away so I got in the car and came straight here.”
“What’s happened?” Elizabeth asked, directing her to the couch.
“Jack broke up with me. He said we were getting too serious too fast and he needed some space.”
“I’m so sorry,” Elizabeth said, squeezing Josie’s hand and wishing she was more surprised by the news.
“And this morning I found out that the TV show isn’t going ahead. The bosses didn’t like the pilot. So now I don’t have a job. Everything is going wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said again, hugging Josie. “It’ll all be okay, though. You’ll find another job. And Jack obviously wasn’t right for you.”
“He’s an idiot,” Josie said angrily, then more tears came to her eyes. “But I love him.”
Elizabeth hugged Josie tightly. She hated to see her so upset.
When Josie calmed down, Elizabeth suggested they get some fresh air, and they set off to walk Tilly.
“I’m glad you work from home,” Josie said as they stepped outside. “It’s so nice to be able to visit at any time.”
“Yeah,” Elizabeth said, chuckling. “I will need to do some work later, though. That’s if I can concentrate long enough…”
“Why?” Josie asked. “What’s going on with you?”
“There’s a bit of a story, actually.” She proceeded to fill Josie in on her morning, and she was touched by how excited Josie was for her, despite her own problems.
“So we’re just waiting for him to call back?” Josie asked.
“Yes!”
“Is your phone on loud?” Josie asked. “You don’t want to miss him.”
“It’s on the loudest setting.” Elizabeth pulled out her phone to check it again. “I feel sick. What if he doesn’t call?”
“Of course he’ll call. Did you leave him a message?”
“No,” Elizabeth said. “I tried, but I got stuck for words.”
“You need to leave him a message and explain everything. Don’t just leave a load of missed calls.”
“Two!” Elizabeth said. “Just two missed calls.”
“So far…”
“You’re right,” she said. “I should leave him a message. When we get back to the house.”
“If you don’t, I will,” Josie teased.
“I’ll do it. I just hope I’m not getting my hopes up for nothing. What if things still don’t work out? I still only spent a week with him. Maybe I’ll see him again and find we’re just not right for each other.”
“Oh my God!” Josie said dramatically. “Don’t be so unromantic. Once you’ve explained everything he’ll call you straight back and ask you out on a date – I’m sure of it. Then you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.”
A smile crept over Elizabeth’s face.
“What’s so funny?” Josie asked.
“I never thought about dating him,” Elizabeth said. “Every time I thought about him, I skipped to the happy-ever-after. I overlooked the dating phase.”
Josie beamed. “That’s the sort of thing I do! You’re supposed to be the sensible one. Just remember the dating stage when you speak to him. Don’t go proposing marriage or anything. Don’t scare him off after all this.”
“Good advice,” Elizabeth said, glancing at her phone again. “Let’s head home. I want to get this call over and done with.”
It turned out to be easier than she’d thought. She sat in the back garden to call him. As soon as she started talking, she relaxed and explained everything to his voicemail as though he was sitting in front of her. There was a lot to fill him in on, but she kept it as succinct as possible. Fingers crossed, there’d be time to explain properly later. She paused when she finished speaking, and told him how much she’d missed him, and how much she wanted to see him again. There were tears in her eyes when she ended the call. She walked inside to find Josie.
“I did it,” she said. “Now all I have to do is wait.”
“Oh, God, this is torture,” Josie said.
“Yes,” Elizabeth agreed. “It is. And what if he doesn’t call? I feel like a teenager all over again!”
“He’ll call,” Josie said positively. “Now, I’m going to go upstairs and watch a film on my laptop while you get some work done. And then I’ll fetch us fish and
chips for dinner.” She paused. “Unless he calls and wants to take you out. In which case I’ll have fish and chips alone.”
“Don’t say that,” Elizabeth said. “You’re putting ideas in my head.” There was no way she’d see him that day. But the possibility of it was so exciting that she couldn’t help but hope. “Anyway, you’re right. I need to do some work. Are you okay?” she asked, realising they’d been concentrating on Elizabeth’s love life and not mentioning Josie’s breakup.
“I’ll be okay,” Josie said, smiling sadly. “I’m probably gonna watch some romantic film that’ll make me cry, but that’s fine!”
“Don’t do that,” Elizabeth said.
“I’m kidding,” she said. “I thought I might call him later and see if we can work things out. Maybe if I suggest we can cool things off a bit—”
“Josie,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You should be with someone who really wants to be with you, and who doesn’t mess you around like this.”
“Yeah, I know,” she said wearily. “But I love him. I can’t give up on him.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to say something insensitive. There was a lot she wanted to say on the matter, but probably nothing Josie wanted to hear. “Okay,” she said. “But don’t get your hopes up too much.”
Surprisingly, Elizabeth managed to get some work done that afternoon. She was working on a project for one of Emily’s writer friends. A paid job this time. It was pleasant work, too: a historical romance that was enjoyable and well written. Only occasionally did she look over and check her annoyingly silent phone.
She didn’t have much appetite that evening, but picked at the fish and chips Josie fetched for them. They settled in front of the fire and Elizabeth gazed intensely into the flames.
“Are you okay?” Josie asked.
“I just keep going over everything in my head,” she replied. “I was thinking about when I saw him again at Oakbrook and things were so strange. He must think I’m engaged. It explains everything. Why he was avoiding me, and why he was so apologetic when he kissed me. I thought it was because he was married.”
