Breath We Take[r1]
The Cuffed By Love Duet: Book #1
Amanda Kaitlyn
Previously released as two titles, Breath We Take is a romantic suspense that deals with some issues that could be triggers for some readers. Please read a sample beforehand if you think you may be upset by these triggers.
When you lose all hope, how do you find the will to carry on?
Emberly
Run. Don’t look back. Just go.
I was running from a past so dark, I couldn’t see the light until I was free from it. I never had to worry about getting attached to anyone, because good things never lasted for me. Not even love.
I thought I had it all figured it. Until him.
I never expected him.
Hudson.
Hudson
Protect and serve.
It was my life’s work to follow in the footsteps of my grandfather, protecting the streets of Austin, Texas. Our home.
Being put on the security detail of my sergeants daughter was never part of the plan.
But then I see her.
Emberly.
I see the broken in her.
I see how she’s been hurt, cast aside by everyone she’s ever loved.
Someone’s chasing her and it doesn’t matter what I have to do.
I’ll protect her with my life.
The world of justice may have ruled my life before her but I'd break the law in a second if it meant keeping her.
She's worth the fight.
She's the air I breathe.
Breath We Take is the first novel in The Cuffed By Love Duet, an erotic romantic suspense duet.
Copyright
Breath We Take
Copyright © Amanda Kaitlyn 2018
All Rights Reserved
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, and plot events are either works of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, events, or places is purely coincidental.
This e-book is sold for your personal enjoyment/use only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this e-book with any other people, please purchase another copy for each recipient. If you are reading this e-book and did not purchase it or it was not purchased for your use only, please return it to your e-book retailer and purchase another copy for your personal use. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Author acknowledges the use of any trademarked titles, names, events or places. Author does not claim ownership and does not promote them. No copyright is held for these instances and are purely mentioned for creative purposes.
Cover Design by MG Book Covers and Amai Designs
Editing by Emily Michelle Tate and Lorna Read
Formatting by Jersey Girl Designs
Dedication
For the girls out there that are still looking for Mr. Right.
Breathe.
I have a feeling you’ll find your Hudson, too.
Acknowledgments
When you, the reader, purchased a copy of this book, you took a chance on characters that intrigued you and an author that poured her heart, soul, everything between its pages. So, thank you. Thank you for choosing this book to occupy your lazy Sunday morning or late Friday night. You’ll never know how much your support means to me.
Breath We Take
The Cuffed By Love Duet #1
Amanda Kaitlyn
Prologue
Emberly
Age 10
THE BOTTOM OF my stomach dropped as I was awoken by a sharp cry coming from downstairs. Curling my blankets around me even tighter, I shivered in dread and laid perfectly, completely still awaiting what would come next.
At least once a night, I woke up like this.
My mama was downstairs with my daddy, though I didn’t think of him that way. All he’d ever given me in my young life was sadness and fear. The longer I laid here in the darkness of my room, the higher the fear inside of me rose.
A sharp, broken gasp left me when I heard her sobs, loud, anguished sounds that tore into my heart, leaving only hopelessness in their wake.
My mama was so strong.
She loved me so much.
I saw it in her eyes when she looked at me, even when they were too swollen to see anything.
I could remember a time when she was happy and my parents were crazily in love. They would cook together, dance together, laugh together.
Before my nightmare begun.
Before everything changed.
Before I lost hope that true love was real.
I tried in vain to smother the sounds of her pain with my pillows and a sob burst from my heaving chest, hot, stinging tears slid down my cheeks and I tried so hard to stop them.
I hiccuped as quietly as I could, knowing that if he was mad enough, he would come up here and start in on me.
My mama always took the brunt of his anger.
She said it was her way of protecting me.
We couldn’t leave because it would make him mad.
But I think she was just too scared to try.
Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever get away from him.
She says we will and to trust her.
But he hurts her so much, what if…
A shudder wracks my body at the thought and I jump as the sound of the front door slamming makes it to my room.
I always leave my door open so I can hear when he leaves.
He always leaves afterwards.
He’ll say he has work to do, but I know the truth.
He can’t stand to look at my mama after hurting her.
He’ll come back in the morning and beg and plead with her to forgive him.
And a part of me hates her, because she does forgive him.
Every time.
Slipping out of my bed, I pad quietly down the stairs, holding my breath just in case he comes back.
He almost never does.
“Mama?”
“Oh, baby. Go back to sleep.”
Reaching for the first aid kit I keep on the top shelf of the linen closet, I shake my head gently, knowing I couldn’t do that.
She’s my mom.
I always take care of her.
“How bad?”
I whisper the words, still afraid he’ll return and catch me tending to her injuries.
Once, he did and I’d never seen him so angry.
“B-bad, baby. I burned the chicken. He wasn’t happy about that.”
I bite down on my lips to stop the words wanting to slip free at her softly spoken excuse for him.
My mom’s an amazing cook.
She learned from my grandmother and my grandmother learned from her mother.
She says it’s an Italian thing.
You have to know how to cook because that’s whats expected from a wife, a mother. I don’t bother telling her that it’s the 21st century and men can cook, too. She’ll always make excuses for him, just like I’ll always let her. It’s our way of coping. We don’t know any other way.
“You need stitches, Mama. Do you want me to get some aspirin?”
“No, baby. It’s okay. Just fix me up.”
“Ma-”
When one of her shaking hands grabs mine, I nod.
I quickly fix her up as best I can and then help her to her bed, where I cover her up with a thick afghan my grandma made.
“I’m so sorry, Mama.”
“Shh, Em. We’ll be safe soon.”
Her warm, loving arms come around me and though I know her words are a lie, I believe them, anyways.
Chapter One
&n
bsp; Emberly
THE WARM SUMMER air gusted over my face as I rushed into the hospital in my typical late fashion. My stomach was in knots when I saw my administrator, Linda sitting at the desk just inside the doors. My nerves seemed to intensify when her brown eyes narrowed at me, the sharp tips of her blue painted fingernails rhythmically thrumming against the desktop.
Shit. I was in serious trouble this time.
All my life I’ve been falling behind.
My eyes snagged at the clock that hung above the wall behind Linda’s head and I grimaced when I read that it was well past eight in the morning, when my shift was scheduled to start.
It wasn’t that I wanted to be late, time just got away from me sometimes.
I could see in my boss’s eyes what she thought of me. I felt her judgmental stare upon my face and I knew what she must have been thinking of me.
I was careless, irresponsible maybe even rude. But that wasn’t true, not even a little bit.
I was a neonatal nurse and it was the most fulfilling job- at least in my book. It was why I woke up in the morning. Caring for the little munchkins in the wing upstairs filled my days with warmth, with light. The excitement of the next milestone I had the privilege of sharing with the families that trusted me with their little ones made my shifts fly by in a rush of smiles, laughter and little miracles.
Even my worst days were worth it because I had them.
“You are on thin ice with me, Ms. Logan. You have been late every day this week.” Nodding, my head dropped below my shoulders.
I really didn’t want to lose this job.
“I know, Linda. I’m sorry.” She nodded, but the frustration in her eyes didn’t falter.
“You need to try to be on time, Emberly. We need you here on time.”
Shifting on my feet, I knew she was right. I was without a car right now and I had a fifteen minute drive as it was to work. Now, having to commute by bus, I was lucky if I got here within the hour.
Though lately, I hadn’t been having much luck.
A few minutes later, I was walking up the third flight of stairs and toward the nurses desk just outside of the Ni-cu. The smell of baby powder littered the air and the scent calmed me instantly.
A head with long, wavy hair was tipped down as I approached and I smiled. Ashlee was a nurse, just like me but she was also more. She was the head nurse of this floor and a damn good one at that.
She was also my best friend in the world.
“Hey, girl.” Her head lifted and her face lit up with a smile.
“Hey, back.”
I was grateful that she didn’t mention my lateness as she handed me my rounds sheet for the day.
“We’re down one nurse today so I may need you to work for an extra few hours today, is that okay? I’m sorry to ask but-”
I shook my head, scanning the page for my first patient. Jenna James, the newest mother on the floor.
The young woman had given birth to a beautiful little boy that had yet to be named. Her and her husband had trouble conceiving their first child and it was a treat for us to see them with their little boy. He was so damn cute.
“Don’t worry about it, Ash. I don’t mind. I’m going to start my day.”
She nodded, smiling in the way that she always did, brightening the whole room with just one smile. The air around her seemed to lift when the happiness spread over her face and inwardly, I warmed at the sight.
She was such a happy person.
Sometimes I wished I could be more like her.
Moving away from the nurses desk, I headed down the hall toward my first patient’s room. We had placed her as close to the nursery as possible at her husbands request.
“Good morning, Jenna. How are you feeling this morning?” Jenna was sitting up in bed when I entered and her husband looked up from where his sights had been obviously set on her.
“I’m good, thank you. When can I see my baby?”
I smiled, moving to her side and lifting her thin wrist in one hand in order to check her vitals.
“I’ll bring him in as soon as I check your vitals.” My fingers applied pressure to her pulse point and I listened to her deep, even breaths as she excitedly recounted the birth of her son, her eyes going to her husband when he whispered something I didn’t quite here.
These moments were so important to their little family and stepping back, I was careful not to intrude on them.
“I’ll go get your boy, now. I’m sure he is eager to see you” She smiled and the expression takes over her whole face.
“Hello, sweet pea” I gently crooned down to baby joy James as I carefully slid my hand behind his head and lifted him against me, my hands cradling his tiny body as he awoke.
“Your mom and dad are very excited to see you today. They have waited a long time for you, do you know that?” He looks at me, so innocent, so beautiful.
As he clenches his tiny fists into my hair and tugs with surprising strength, I pulled back, shock and amusement filling me.
Damn, this boy was strong. I opened the door to Jenna’s room gently with my shoe and heard her audible gasp when she saw the little boy in my arms.
“Oh, Scott, he’s so beautiful.”
“He is.” I heard her husband mutter, quietly, as if he was speechless at the sight. With care, I lowered him into her arms and smiled softly, watching the lovely sight of her holding her baby for a moment.
Time lapses as they shared their moment and checking her vitals, along with the baby’s once more I silently left them to enjoy their morning together.
Would I ever have what they had?
As I walked toward the nurse’s desk where I’d find Ashlee, I couldn’t help the fleeting thought that gave way to a flutter of hope that loosened my chest from the loneliness I lived with, day after day. It was easier this way or at least, that’s what I’d been telling myself for years now. The problem was, I wanted more. My heart was mended from the pain of my past and a part of me wondered if it was time to open up, again. To let love in, if it found it’s way into my seemingly empty heart. On a heavy sigh, I shook my head at myself, knowing that I wasn’t ready to open up, again. Not yet.
Chapter Two
Hudson
Fucking great.
I tore a hand roughly through the hair at my head and hurried inside the briefing room.
I was late.
“Nice of you to join us, Lennox.”
My sergeant, Nicholas Lewis spoke the second I cleared the glass doors to the room and inwardly, I cringed. He was not a man you wanted to cross.
“Sorry, Sir.”
I took a seat and quieted for the duration of his briefing, not wanting to piss him off all the more.
Being a cop was who I was. Through and fucking through.
My father wanted more for me than being a cop. To go to college. To earn a degree in engineering, as he had. To meet a nice country girl and pop out a few babies. I couldn’t lie to myself, now, after one too many nights of hot, nameless sex and a boat load of booze, the idea of finding a young, pretty thing to settle down with sounded damn good.
My father, being the man he is, stood back and let me make the choice that had been right for me at the time. I tipped my head up once more and the tips of my fingers slid along the badge that was pinned to my left side pocket.
I fucking loved being a cop.
“Alright, you are dismissed. I expect each of you to update me on your open cases by Monday. Be safe, men”
We all stood in respect as he moved from the room and I swore I felt his hard gaze on my back as he did. A large hand clapped my shoulder and I looked to see my best friend and partner, Tristan Donovan standing beside me.
He was a cocky son of a bitch and the knowing smirk plastered over his smug face told me my late arrival hadn’t gotten past him.
Shaking my head at him and waving him off, I grinned. He was more of a brother to me than much else.
“You going to meet me at the pub later?
The boys have been missing you.”
A hard laugh left me as I nodded. I’d been putting off going back into the bar we usually frequented after shift and I was sure he knew why. A woman I’d fucked not too long ago had been holed up there and rumor was, she’d been asking for me. I had a feeling on the night I brought her home she may have had a screw loose but I let it go, not thinking very clearly at the time.
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Pretty sure Crazy is gone by now, you think?”
The amusements clouds his eyes as he chuckles, the rich sound loud in the otherwise silent station. The rest of the officers had gone home for the day and it was just the two of us left.
A glance outside told us that he was out of ear shot while he smoked his end of day cigar.
“Look, there is something I mentioned to the sergeant that I’m going to need your help with.”
I heard Tristan’s usually amused voice go quiet with concern and I nodded.
“What you need?”
“Lennox.” The authoritative voice boomed from the doorway and I looked up, straightening my relaxed posture at the sound of his voice.
“ Sir?”
He took one last slow pull of the cigar in his hand before casting it aside and clearing the buildings door as he spoke,again.
“Come to my office, I need to speak with you.”
Nodding, I grabbed my cell phone from the desk I’d been sitting at and paused momentarily to spare a glance behind me.
“Talk later, man.”
Tristan nodded his head in acknowledgment and it was affirmation enough for me. I turned to follow Lewis into his office, my gut tightening with the instinct that something was up with both men.
“Close the door behind you and sit down.”
I did, a knot of bewildered tension coiling inside at the grave tone his voice took.
Sitting down in a chair in front of his desk, though I would have rather pace the room instead.
Breath We Take (Cuffed By Love Duet Book 1) Page 1
