STORM
Saniya S Kohari
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, place, and events are the product of author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
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Thank you.
Published in 2020: Saniya.S.Kohari
Editing: Saniya S Kohari
Proofreading: Saniya S Kohari.
Cover Design: Saniya S Kohari
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Dedicated
To my father, Mr Safwan Kohari, who ingrained the seed of storytelling in me, through his vivaciously entertaining tales!
STORM
Saniya S Kohari
Prologue
They say,
What’s broken can be mended. What’s ripped can be stitched.
I wonder when my heart glues back; will it beat the same way for you, as Soil beats for Rain...Sea beats for Shore?
Will it feel the same way for you, as Light feels for Darkness...Earth feels for Heaven?
Will the Storm wait for Lightening?
Or is it too late...?
1-Silenced heartbeat
Aariz
One year ago-
I am dead, but not gone. Yet I feel...‘Dead’. I wonder how one feels dead, although being alive and breathing. It might be as I am not living, not really anyway.
This feeling of being dead comes in moments to me. Like there are bouts of feeling nothing at all. It is mostly when I try to let go of my emotions, try to feel the loss that it happens...I stop feeling. I get numb. I get dead.
Stepping out of the elevator, I was about to enter my apartment with grocery bags, when the memories came back, making me want to throw things off my hands. Anything to forget those feelings, vanish those reminders. Because the pain they brought along, was unbearable.
But I could not afford to breakdown. I had to be the responsible adult here. I had to get over it and move on. Therefore, I did. I opened the front door and went inside.
We lived in the not-so-loud part of Los Angeles city. It used to be my parents’ place, as they loved the quiet. I, on the other hand, stayed in a small bachelor’s pad in the heart of the city, which was closer to my workplace. Now, since more than a year, I had moved into this apartment.
“Aariz, you’re back!” Granny turned around with a warm smile, which reached her sparkling grey eyes, as I dumped the bags on the white marble counter top.
She hastily rubbed her hands on the light pink apron around her waist, and exhaled, as if she had been holding on to a deep nervous breath.
Did she doubt I would not come?
She probably heard me the moment I entered through the front door, as we had an open-floor plan, connecting the kitchen and living room.
“Oh you brought my medicines as well, though I hadn’t even asked.” My Gran, Mrs Haya Deewan, gave me a tender look with her loving smile on, as she went through the bags.
So what if I had bought her medicines on the off chance that she might be out of stock? It did not mean progress or anything. I was still cold, and my heart...silent. Silenced by the hell I had been through...was going through.
Nodding at her, I turned to leave.
“Honey, would you like some coffee? Or maybe I make you something to eat?” She asked from behind me in a hopeful voice.
I just shrugged and shook my head.
My Grandmother’s smiles were getting warmer with passing days; as if she thought, my coldness would melt away in them. I did not believe it would help.
She had been worrying over my food intake since a long time. It was not as if I wanted to starve myself. Just the things like food and hunger had become non-priorities for me. I did not feel the urge for the things I loved. Yet, Gran thought if I went back to loving food, I would be jolly...happy again. I knew it’d never happen so easily. Maybe she knew that too. But, it was her maternal instinct to try what she could do best.
I was not being numb on purpose though. Life had done that to me. From more than a year, I was secluded in my own world, where I had no wish to be. I felt lonely and yet, I could not find an escape.
I locked my bedroom door behind me. There was just one thing keeping me sane. One memory, I never wanted to forget or run from. One person, I wished I could have had.
Removing the paper from its safekeeping, I read it as I had a million times before. And like always, my face automatically split into a smile, which was quite rare for me. The muscles felt wierd stretching into a smile. Yet, I smiled. I always did when I read that paper.
Six months ago-
“It had been raining since forever, and now finally it has stopped.” Gran chattered merrily as she entered my bedroom, picking up the discarded clothes and things on her way.
I was on the phone, speaking to the one friend who had my back through this storm.
‘You must come back. Start anew here.’ He insisted as always.
‘I'm considering it.’ I finally said what he wanted to hear.
‘Great!’ He cheered, and I could feel him beaming on the other end.
He continued,
‘The way you have turned your life around, came out of depression all on your own...You deserve a change. A fresh start.’
With a smile in his voice, he added softly,
‘Also, here she...’
‘I know. That is one of the reasons I’m coming.’ I closed my eyes on reflex, and a serene smile appeared on my face.
I hung-up the phone, but the smile stayed.
Gran came to sit in front of me by the window,
“Aariz, the weather has turned so refreshing and humid. Just the way you always loved. Would you like some fries to eat, while we enjoy this weather?”
“Don't bother Gran. Just sit.” I clasped her hand, smiling at her lovely aged round face, which had worry lines all over it.
She was always stressing over my food, my thoughts, and my life.
She did not deserve to go through what she had been with...
“Too bad, I have already made them. Now you’ll have to eat it!” With a mischievous grin, slapping my hand away, she presented the plate in front of me.
As we munched on her delicious fries, she went on delicately,
“You’re not gonna go out for soccer or basket ball, whatever you play with your friends in this weather?”
Played...Not anymore.
Things that brought happiness to me, I avoided it.
Nor did those people want my mood around them. On the other hand, was it just me? Yes, it was. I could not get along with my old friends anymore. Unable to bear the sympathy in the eyes of anyone I knew. It haunted me.
“No.” I told her sharply.
I couldn’t get over the numbness. My heart was silent due to the storm it had suffered, not a beat of cheer or excitement in it.
As I said, I felt dead. And that feeling over-powered me in shape of extreme anger, with every reminder of the past from people around me.
“Great! Keep me company.” She cheered nonetheless.
Then staring around my room, went on,
“If I remember correctly, you had a basket to hang on that hook. Where is it? We can maybe try putting the ball in and see who...”
My jaw ticked and my eyes zeroed in on the backyard below the window,
“I don't play basketball anymore.”
Standing up, I pushed the plate towards her, “And I’m done.”
I stormed out with my car keys in hand. Unknowingly, Gran had pricked at my best and worst memory. I was hurting and could not help but run away from it. Otherwise, I would have again found myself consumed in it, lost in the dark...In the feeling of being dead.
One day ago-
“I'm fine Granny. Trust me.” I reassured her a hundredth time as she came to help me pack.
We were leaving...Going back to Seattle...To our old house.
Los Angeles had never felt like home, although it was for years.
Granny cupped my face worriedly,
“You don't have to. Take your time sweetheart. Maybe wait a few more months or another year?”
“I'm ready.” I gave her an easy smile.
Staring at me for a beat longer, she finally nodded,
“If you really are ready to live again, then nothing else can make me happier.”
I pulled her in my arms for a hug, patting her head.
“But why aren’t you joining your old job again? This new one isn’t even from your field.” Gran spoke over my shoulder, still confused.
I broke the hug and glanced outside the window, taking a deep breath. I was scared like hell. But, I could not back out or show it.
I told her the truth,
“Gran, I don't feel that spark anymore. Nonetheless, I have to try moving the hell on. This is my first step, to see if I can get my head back in the game...Can find that spunk, the urge again. If I do, I’ll quit and join to do work that I loved.”
‘I just hope I’d find my new lease to life in that new city, new job. Then maybe, just maybe I will be able to forget everything. It won’t hurt so much. I would not be angry all the time at the world, at the universe for the injustice, of taking it all away from me. Maybe I would feel good again, happy again. It has been long, since I have felt that way.’ I thought to myself.
“You’re trying, and that is admirable. I’m so proud of you darling. Do you remember, we had planned on shifting there at the time when...” Gran started reminiscing something I had fought hard to move on from, so I stopped her,
“Gran, please.”
She nodded understandingly and left my bedroom to pack the other stuff.
I went on with my own packing, and came across it. Picking up the paper, I caressed it, sighing in relaxation.
A smile crept on my face, this time of immense longing, as I finished reading it, and spoke my heart aloud, “You bring hope in me...always. This is a new beginning I’m ready to take on. Hope to see you around there. I don’t know why, but I just feel like I’d be more alive if I have you there in any form. Be it as a known stranger, a friend, as someone I wish to...” Words failed me and I stated with determination,
“I won't let go this time.”
Present day-
“Ooh! Wow! Umber, doesn’t that swing look amazing?” I heard a mesmerised voice from behind me.
The sleepy afternoon silence carried it to my ears, as I stood in my bedroom’s terrace, close to that of my neighbour’s. It felt peaceful around here...A nice change from the usual noise of the city, given the fact that my house was in one of the posh localities of Seattle, a little outside the city buzz.
“I have never seen such a creative one before. Yet I feel like I have always wanted a similar one in my bedroom. It’s so cute and cosy looking!” The girl sighed longingly.
Listening to her, an instant smile came on my lips.
I mildly recognized the voice, but could have bet my life on, which person it belonged too...Who the girl on that terrace was...
I was tempted to look behind, but stopped myself as a memory from not so long ago flashed in front of my eyes-
“We’ll put this in your bedroom.” Mom had smiled lovingly admiring the swing.
“Mom, I don’t like...”
“Your wife would love it. I bet you. It would be her room too Aariz. That is when you finally decide to get married. When are you...?”
Thus, her usual all time favourite questions had started about when I was going to settle down...Embedded with her concern and love for me, her only child.
My body went cold with nostalgia. Upon that, hearing the voice from Zidaan’s terrace, still cooing over the swing, made my breathing ragged. My temper rose to another level. How dare she remind me of the past which felt nothing but harsh to me these days?!
I knew it was not the girl's fault. Yet I wanted to, needed to, get away from the memories that had the power to drown me into endless pain.
“No! Keep it in the store room.” I snapped at the workers who were setting up the swing.
They scurried away with it, and the girl gave an annoyed yell,
“Tease!”
It seemed to be specifically for my ears.
Then as if lowering her tone, yet speaking just as loudly, she stated in a conspiratorial kind of voice,
“Why do I feel like he changed his mind just because I liked it?”
Another girl, probably the one she had called Umber, scoffed, “He didn’t even turn around to see you. And even if he did hear you, why would he be offended on the admiration of his stuff?”
The girl answered in a hurtful manner,
“He can, if he is a jerk, which he very much seems to be right now!” Adding in wonderment,
“Why do jerks and asses have such delicious bodies?!”
Her friend Umber, laughed, asking in a teasing voice,
“Would you ever fall for a good-looking jerk?”
She chuckled dryly,
“Depends...If he is a heartless jerk. Otherwise, sure I would. Because jerk or not, everyone have their pains, their reasons...Can’t judge them without knowing them.”
“Do you have any such hidden pains or secrets?” Umber sounded intrigued.
She responded taking a hell of a long time,
“Everyone has secrets. Some are out in the open without will...Some are hidden behind a smile. The point is love happens. We can't choose whom we fall for.”
I did not hear their banter anymore. My heart had rather stopped, realizing she understood pain, she understood the reasons that were beyond our control. She made me pissed and fascinated at the same time. As her words about love and unavoidable turns of life, got me thinking something I had tried not to, every minute of every day. It stuck in my heart, taking me back two years ago-
It was the day; life had completely shaken me. Made me regret the time I wasted behind someone, I had thought was special.
I was beyond angry. The worst part was she did not regret it one bit on confrontation.
I told my parents that I changed my mind. Stating, I did not feel we were compatible. After all, they did not need to know the dirty details. And it was not my truth to tell. She could give the truth, or any version of it to the world. I was done.
I hated her...Not for betraying me, but for giving a tight slap to my heart. For the regret, which her doing brought to me, the realization that in her wake, I lost someone I dearly wanted...Someone whom I had longed to pursue.
My Dad blasted me for that girl, saying, how could I just change my mind and break someone's heart?! He regretted the boy he raised. I remained silent, because nobody's regret could match that of mine.
“Aariz, how could you do that to a girl?! I'm ashamed of you.” Dad had yelled those words for the first time in my life.
I disappointed him. More so, I had disappointed myself.
That year, was the best and worst of my life. As if in the blink of an eye, my world had ended. I was devastated.
Finally, after a long time of staying depressed, I had moved here to my home.
“I have lost everything. Can’t have it all back. Yet sure as hell, I can correct my mistakes. I had made the wrong decision then. I will not repeat that again. I had waited too long then
and lost her. This time I won’t. I will have her. I will have what is mine. Could have been mine, had I not wa
sted my time behind that girl.” I promised myself, and turned around to find Zidaan's terrace was vacant.
I needed to see her, but it is all right. I knew the spark inside me would not subdue so easily. Surely, the universe would let me smile again too. If my instincts were correct, which I hoped they were, then the universe would not let me stay unhappy for long. Things will turn around. They’ll have to. My silenced heart would find a beat.
2-Reunions and Hotties
Sani
“What the h...Donald Duck?!” I glared at my cousin, throwing daggers at her, as we came out on the front porch.
My mood was already off due to the hottie on the neighbourhood terrace, who did not even grace me with his face, nor allowed me to drool over that swing. Ass! Now Umber was making it worse.
“Donald Duck?” Umber’s deep black orbs squinted at me in curiosity.
I looked around sheepishly,
“I'm trying to go off curse words.”
She chuckled, and I stomped my foot, trying to make her understand the seriousness of the situation,
“But that’s not the point!”
Umber scoffed in amusement,
“What exactly is the point?”
“That you should have told me he is coming home. I don't want him anywhere near me.” I grumbled like a child. Totally prepared to sit down on the road and wail my lungs out, if she forced me.
“Okay, you can sit at the back.” Umber muttered casually, flipping her hair, which glinted in the sun along with her fair complexion, which was just a little tanned, the way she loved it.
As if, my anger was nothing! Nobody cared about my dear little heart. Freaking idio...Spinach and Apples! The whole lot of them!
What? I hate Spinach and Apples with passion.
“To hell...” I stopped myself in time. “To noodles with the backseat. I have my freaking legs. I can walk tall. I don't need to hide. Nor do I want any favours...Especially not from him!”
Storm Page 1
