Aariz smirked looking at my shocked dumbstruck expression, from the corner of his eyes. I still tried to act cool and move the hell away. But Mirelle stumbled and fell on the sand, ruining my impression of walking with head held high after having foolishly interfered in Aariz's scolding-Sahil session.
Aariz was still looking at me with an amused smile creeping on his lips, as if thinking; she has lost her mind...
Damn you Mirelle!
We then started playing volleyball on the beach. We divided ourselves in two teams. Aariz played a few rounds, and then asked us to continue while he watched as referee.
The game went on. I was too engrossed meeting Aariz’s heated gaze every now and then. Hence, I did not realize when Sahil hit the ball hard at my team. In my attempt to hit it back, I could not keep up and took the fall. The sand did little to cushion my blow, as the hit knocked me on solid earth. It hurt like a bitch, and I could not help hissing in pain.
All for trying to play that fast ball.
The ball had sharply missed my face. Had I not fallen, the ball would have hurt me on the left side, more specifically on my left eye.
I saw Aariz walk towards not me but Sahil with a murderous look on his face,
“Have you completely lost your mind?! This is not a competition where you can try to show off your athletic skills.” His hands went up as if to clutch Sahil’s collar, but he stopped himself and went on frustrated, “Who hits the ball so hard when you have to throw it at such a short distance?! Do you even know how to play this game? You are in the college team. Do you play this way, there as well?” Stepping almost in his face, Aariz went on in a quiet, yet thundering voice,
“Listen to me very carefully. Today you all are my responsibility. Still if you get a high out of killing or hurting yourself then do so. But do it in your own damn house, not here under my watch! Don't practice your stunts on others here. I won't let you! Do you have any idea how badly your ball could have hurt Sani? You could have hit her eye! If something had happened to her, who would have been responsible?! Tell me, you idiot, useless guy!”
Whoa! Aariz was literally stripping Sahil apart by his words.
Yoo-hoo! C'mon my boy...Shout Shout! Punch Punch!
Rose and Mirelle helped me sit up at a distance from the volleyball game. A few minutes later as the game resumed, Aariz came towards me. He knelt down to see if I was injured. I had actually bloodied both my palms.
I will kill you Sahil. Your death will be brutal. I will...uh...well, let it go for now.
Aariz asked them to go and join the game, for which they were quite eager, much to my hurt feelings.
Were they not concerned about me at all?
Aariz opened his backpack and removed the first aid box. He then sat in front of me on the sand in all his angry delicious glory.
Control yourself Sani. He is your Professor!
“Show me your palms...hurt a lot?” Aariz's voice came soft and full of concern as he removed the antiseptic from the first aid.
‘Not anymore...not when you touch.’ I so wanted to say this, but the truth was, it hurt like hell.
“Not much.” I whispered, gulping down the sob I felt due to the pain.
“Yeah, right.” Aariz gave me a look that told me he did not buy that and started applying antiseptic to clean my wounds.
The antiseptic caused a burning sensation, making me flinch with muffled cry. Tears fell down my cheeks before I could stop them.
Aariz held my gaze with tender one of his.
“Please don't cry. I know it might be paining a lot. Just let me clean it. Then I will apply the ointment and it won't hurt this much. I promise. Please, just hold on a little longer. Don't cry. You are my brave girl, right?” consoled Aariz, while working on my palms with utmost gentleness.
Oh my dear dear heart...When you say such words Aariz, it just wants to fly high.
Just do me already! Whatever your magic fingers want to...
When he was done, he smiled warmly at me,
“It’s almost lunch time now. You need to eat. Shall I ask one of your friends to feed you?”
“No, please. I don't want anything. I have no mood or the appetite.” I said in a small voice.
It was the truth. That moron Sahil had taken away my appetite getting me all dirty and hurt.
“Please Sani, eat something. At least have some cold juice. You’d feel relief from the stinging in your palms.” Aariz urged, with a painful look on his face, as if unable to see me like that.
I nodded with a slight smile,
“Yeah, I have a fruit punch in my backpack. I’ll drink it later.”
“Not later. You will have to drink it now.” Before I could argue, he stood up saying sternly, “Don't touch anything. Let the ointment do its job. Just tell me which one of these is yours.” gesturing at the bags lying around.
He talks as if he has a right on me.
‘Well, he is your Professor. He has all the rights. Be happy he is just ordering and not bashing you and smoking fire at you, like he did to that stupid Sahil.’ My conscience smirked at me.
I must admit, Aariz looks smoking hot being all dominant and bossy this way.
Jerking myself out of my thoughts, I bit back a smile and pointed Aariz towards my bag. He found the tetra pack of mango drink easily. Opening it, he placed the straw near my mouth, while still holding on to the drink.
On my reluctance and the blush covering my cheeks, Aariz came closer murmuring, “You just sip. I have it, so you do not have to touch. Let the cream absorb.” He did not take his eyes off mine, making my heart beat a million times faster.
Oh my! When you put it this way, I'm a puddle in your hands.
His grey eyes darkened, reminding me of the rainy day's cloudy weather. I love the beautiful rain-filled clouds, for some reason they attract me. I could have easily drowned myself in the lightening depths of his eyes.
Aariz made me drink from his hand, while keeping an eye around to make sure all the students were busy in volleyball and not seeing him feed a student...me!
It feels too damn cute, having someone take care of me like a baby. I can get used to this...
‘What are you thinking Sani?! That too, about Aariz!’
“Is it still paining?” He asked gently, when I finished the drink.
“Slowly it’s getting better...Thanks for the ointment.” I tried to smile, but his heated lingering gaze made it difficult to hold the eye lock.
I looked around craning my neck to see if anyone was coming towards us. This caused the pin to open and my sleeve to slide off...
Within seconds, Aariz covered it with his hand, pushing it up my shoulder.
I couldn’t breathe.
He slid his palm upward on the curve of my neck.
His skin felt hot on mine, like fire.
“There is a water drop.” Aariz whispered as his finger caressed my racing pulse point, tracing the droplet.
My heart bounced erratically.
Aariz cocked his head, focusing, as if lost on my throat where he caressed the drops, “You are still so drenched. You might catch a cold.”
“Then why does your hand feel so warm?” I whispered to myself.
Apparently, he heard me.
Smirking he met my gaze, “It’s not my hand that’s hot Sani. It’s...” He stopped and just stared at me meaningfully, expecting me to understand what he wanted to say. I did. Just couldn’t bring myself to believe it.
Aariz’s gaze dropped to my lips and stayed there. Before I could breath, he got a little startled seeing something behind me. Whoever he saw, made him immediately take his hand off my neck.
“You should pin it, just in case it falls off again.” He muttered and stood up.
I turned around, but saw no one nearby.
“Can I go for a walk please? Everyone must be wrapping up the game. They will be coming here to eat now and I’m in no mood for lunch. Please.”
I needed to get away from him to clear
my head.
God knows what was happening to me. Aariz’s closeness...His care...His touch was making my heartbeat go haywire. It was getting difficult to breath. I knew if I did not go away now, I might just end up going in his arms or kissing him raw...Oh no! No! Stop it Sani! Just walk away.
Aariz remained silent. Just staring at me non-stop.
God...How much time will he take to allow me to get away from him? Is he trying to kill me with desire or what!
“Alright. But don't go too far.” Aariz's tone warmed me just like his smile.
Finally! I would get a few moments of loneliness and sanity. Unlike the thoughts, I had been having of taking advantage of this hot piece of flesh called Professor.
On our way back home in the bus, Mirelle and I were sitting on the seat behind Aariz.
Co-incidentally, not on purpose mind you! Of course if I had to on purpose, I would have sat with him, not behind, don't you think?
On the other hand, even better, I would have just sat on his lap and...
For the last time, stop it brain! You are swimming in all hearts-romance- desires bubble for a Prof!
Damn! What is happening to me?!
Aariz was sitting by the window and so was I behind him. Suddenly as the bus jerked, I felt something thrown on my lap. It was a big bar of chocolate and its wrapper opened.
I did not know who threw it.
Next moment my phone chimed with a text from Aariz,
‘Please eat that chocolate Sani. I have thrown it for you. You did not eat anything today. At least eat the chocolate. I have already opened it, so you don't have to tear it by your ointment clad hands. Just hold it by the wrapper and eat it please. And if you want more, let me know.’
Who needs chocolate after this?!
Your words feel like melting chocolate to me Aariz...
‘Shut the hell up Sani! Focus on this storming revelation of a text!’ My subconscious snapped at me.
Meaning Aariz had put his hand in the space between his seat and the window and thus thrown the chocolate behind at me. He took so many efforts!
I felt pleasantly cherished reading his text. The butterflies of the grand romantic gesture were winning the fight against the elephants of hunger in my stomach.
The butterflies and every other blooming thing were rocking the win inside of me!
Just then Mirelle who had been busy on her phone, spoke to me,
“Today was so much fun! While having lunch we had a great time pulling each other’s leg.” Laughing she went on with a pout, “But you did not eat. Had you stayed with us, you would have enjoyed too. We all gobbled on the lunch together as if it was a feast. Only Prof Aariz remained empty stomach.”
“What do you mean?” My heart started beating at a ferocious speed.
Please don't say what I think you are about to say Mirelle.
“Yeah, Prof Aariz did not eat lunch. He just sat with us talking, while we ate. Unlike you, who went for a walk instead of spending time with us!”
This shocked me beyond words.
19-HIDDEN FEELINGS.
Sani
Why Aariz did not eat? Was it just because I didn’t, since I was in pain? But why would he do that?!
I had already established that Aariz's behaviour was getting stranger day by day. He had a problem with me talking to Sahil during the group project. He always scolded me for everything, but cared just as much. Like today, he applied ointment, treated my palms, though he could have just walked away. It showed how much he really cared about me.
Aariz got furious on Sahil for my sake. He did not do lunch because I was starving and hurt. He forgot about his needs and gave me a chocolate thinking I might be hungry.
Wait a minute Sani! Nobody does so much for someone, unless he is family or a close friend. Is it because he lik...No! No! Like?! And that also Aariz, for me?!
Hah! Stop humouring yourself Sani. He remains angry on you all the freaking time. In addition, he is your Professor, seven-eight yrs elder than you. And, not to forget, his brush off text!
Nah, he does not like you in that way Sani. Stop kidding yourself!
There could be just one reason then- Maybe he was trying to be my real friend!
It made sense. Yes. After troubling me, teasing me from day one, maybe now he wanted us to be friends.
He might be lonely in this new city. Might have lost contact with his old mates and did not have any friends now. That’s why he was doing all this for me, to warm his way for becoming friends with me! Yep, that must be the reason.
Wow! I'm so freaking smart!
This discovery broke me into a shiver of realization, ‘How can I become Aariz’s friend?! He is my Professor! All my friends and batch mates would laugh at me. It would be so wierd!’
Oh God...What do I do now? How to tell him I cannot be his friend?!
While I sorted out all these Aariz-made-mysteries so smartly and maturely, in the background Mirelle was still jabbering about something, I did not bother to hear. I felt too busy and important, as I tried connecting loose ends of all the confusions created in my brain, courtesy of Aariz. I was in deep thought and munching his chocolate without even realizing it.
Would I ever be able to think about Aariz as a friend?
My heart sighed, ‘Maybe never...’
With this question, a whirlpool of my hidden secrets that no one knew flashed in front of my eyes-
Me going to the classroom every morning taking a long turn by passing through the corridor from where I could have a glimpse of Aariz teaching his undergrad classes...
Me making excuses to my friends every other day to look at the notice board in front of the staffroom. Just because the staffroom has a glass door and while checking the notice board, I could have a look at what was Aariz doing sitting in there. Just for the sake of having a glimpse of him, before or after lectures...
Me getting restless, thinking he is sick every time he remained absent in college...
Me being overcome with emptiness, whenever he would be upset and not teasing me or talking to me in class...
Me fighting with Mirelle, Rose and other classmates, by taking Aariz's side whenever they felt he was harsh and wrong to everyone, or that he always gives the toughest questions in quizzes and assignments. I always took a stand for him...
Me refusing Sahil when he had asked me during the group project, if I would go out with him someday. I had denied straightaway, although I myself did not know the reason for my refusal...
Now I knew the answer for these questions. The answer was, Aariz. He had been the reason I had refused to go out with Sahil. Aariz was the reason I couldn’t think about any other guy but him. I cared so much about what Aariz likes that I had always been dying to know every little detail about him. Aariz had taken charge of my senses, my mind, my thinking, my HEART!
Finally, I had the answer to my questions. Though, I think somewhere I always knew in the depths of my heart that I could never consider Aariz as my friend. My pretence of not liking him will fall some day and I would have to accept my real feelings. Because I feel for him, a lot...I had always felt for him more than I should. These feelings were strong and deep, even though Aariz was doing all this just because he was lonely and wanted to be my friend. But I couldn’t...I just couldn’t.
Until now, I had kept these feelings locked inside my heart. Never tried to think about them knowing we can never happen.
Now when it was clear that I was right, that he does not feel the same way, he would never reciprocate my feelings, that he just wanted to be my friend...Then why did it hurt so much. When I had always known this, why does it have to hurt so badly?!
“Who just wants to be your friend?” Mirelle nudged me.
“No one...I was just thinking something.” I answered nonchalantly and turned to look out of the window, wiping off my tears surreptitiously, before she saw them.
“But your eyes are wet. Are you crying? What’s wrong Sani?” Mirelle shook my shoulder,
trying to make me look at her.
Oh, God...why is she suddenly behaving like a detective!
“Nothing is wrong. Why would I cry?” I tried to sound casual, and gestured outside, changing the topic, “We have reached. C'mon let’s get down and go home.”
We got down the bus and I was about to take a cab or go to the railway station when-
“Sani, my car is here and I'm going home. Shall I drop you?” Aariz's voice came from behind me.
I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil right now and its main reason was Aariz. Hence, there was no way I could even meet his eyes.
“Thanks a lot. I will go on my own...Bye.” I muttered with my back to him and left without a glance.
Mirelle stayed in the dorms, and Rose as usual never offered me a ride. Hence, I took the train. I was still deep in thought, when it struck my mind-
Oh crap! How can I forget?! Zee is Aariz's best friend and they have a large group of friends. Aariz is anything but lonely! This means his behaviour towards me and the reason he had been doing all that was because maybe...maybe he feels the same way for me as I do for him. He...He likes me?! Of course, he does not hate me. But like me as someone special?! That is just...He is my Professor. It’s so...Ohh God!
I could not even complete this thought to myself. This was terrifying!
Besides, how do I know for sure, what I am thinking is correct? That he feels for me too. How do I confirm? After all, there is a very good chance that I am wrong and he does not give two shits about me! Forget about feelings.
All these fears and anticipations kept me pondering all night. Then morning came with me shivering in high fever. My parents asked me to skip college for the day.
20-THUNDERING OUTBURST
Aariz
I was restless with Sani’s absence. Whole day went by and when on the second day as well she did not come, I called Zidaan pretending to be concerned because she was missing classes. I did not feel like telling him she had been wierd on the way back from the trip. I felt guilty though I did not even know if I was the reason for her behaviour.
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