by Rachel Lee
Was he self-deluded? Because he’d been more interested in Haley personally than he wanted to admit? Had he managed to fool himself, and her, right into trouble?
He tried to reach back to those decision-making moments in Denver when he’d made up his mind that someone needed to watch out for Haley. Using her as an excuse to hang around had certainly struck him as innocent enough then. He hadn’t imagined how it might complicate things.
He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked toward the center of town and tried to make a million mental readjustments, like trying to figure out a puzzle that had looked all right until you got to the last couple of pieces and realized they didn’t fit at all.
The streets were getting a bit busier. Stores hadn’t opened yet, but people were on their way to do just that. A glance down a side street near the sheriff’s office told him that the City Diner was already full. He hesitated, then decided to go get some breakfast for him and Haley.
That was when he realized that in the few short days he’d been here, people had started to recognize him. Where before he’d gotten the barest of nods as he passed, now he was getting nods, smiles and greetings of “morning.”
Some low profile.
How much of that, he wondered, came from these folks knowing that he was seeing Haley? How much came from the fact that the cops had checked him out and let him go? He’d probably never know.
He just knew he felt entirely too obvious. The last blow came when he walked to the counter in the diner and Maude’s daughter, Mavis he thought her nametag said, greeted him by name. “Morning, Buck. What’ll it be?”
He thought of all the years he’d managed to pass anonymously in cammies and desert boots by the simple expedient of changing his unit patch so folks wouldn’t know he was from the Tenth Battalion. No patch could make him seem irrelevant here.
He ordered enough food for six hungry soldiers, and marched out into the morning sunshine feeling eyes on him like sniper sights. Which was certainly an exaggeration, but it wasn’t something he was used to from friendlies.
And most of these people, if not all, qualified as friendlies.
Okay, he thought as he hiked toward Haley’s place. The pieces weren’t fitting somehow, and yet he had the feeling they were all there. Mentally rearranging them wasn’t helping a whole lot yet.
Money. He knew there had to be a lot of money, and in his experience there were two ways to make large sums of money: guns and drugs, and he’d already dismissed guns because they’d leave huge voids in the crates.
Marijuana, too, was space intensive. No, something much smaller with a huge street value. Something like, say, oxycodone, which could sell for as much as two hundred dollars for a single pill, depending on dosage. At that price, you could make a whole lot of money with a very small space, the kind of space that wouldn’t leave noticeable gaps in a shipment.
And while you might need a truck to shift crates around, once the pills were removed they’d require relatively little space to transport. You could carry them under a seat in a car, or in a trunk, thousands and thousands of dollars of drugs, in a comparatively tiny space.
The only thing that didn’t add up was why they needed the trucks in the first place. With something so small, they could have used cars to begin with.
But trucks offered a huge advantage. They could transport large quantities without worrying about drug-sniffing dogs at a traffic stop. Trucks were pretty much left alone by the cops unless they did something egregious on the road, or skipped a weigh station.
For all he knew, huge amounts of drugs were coming in through the port or over borders, and this was just a protective measure to conceal the distribution lines.
That would make sense. A lot of sense. Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. And what if the whole deal had started here for some reason and then reached out to Seattle and other points? That would explain a lot, too.
He ruminated on that for a while, trying to figure out how it would work. Someone here needed lots of money. Maybe the opportunity hadn’t dropped into their laps, but they’d created it. But how?
He tried to stop himself as he reached Haley’s street. Speculation was only good if it gave him some clues to follow. Right now he seemed to be running in circles again.
But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that the whole mess could have begun right here. Maybe this wasn’t the middle after all. Maybe this was a center point from which the web stretched out and encompassed something that was already going on.
Definitely possible, but he shoved it to the back burner for a while. He had some more immediate things to worry about, like Haley, like that driver she could identify. He hoped Gage had a way of making a sketch. Or access to Identi-Kit.
He loved to solve problems, but he had to admit there wasn’t nearly as much pleasure in it when he had an emotional investment in someone’s safety. Namely, Haley’s.
He knocked on her door and she opened it with surprising caution, peering around the chain lock the way she had the first time he’d come.
“Haley?” he asked with immediate concern. He didn’t like the tightness around her eyes.
She fumbled at the chain lock and let him in, closing the door behind him and locking it. She didn’t usually do that.
“What happened?” he demanded as he put the bags of breakfast on the table and turned to take her into his arms.
She came willingly, and he could almost feel her sag against him. “Nothing, really,” she said a bit unsteadily. “Or maybe something. God, Buck, I don’t know. I was sitting on my balcony having coffee when I saw something.”
“What did you see?”
“That’s just it! I can’t say for sure. I caught the flash of a white T-shirt as someone disappeared around the end of the building. I don’t know who it was. It could have been anyone, but it scared me.”
“A white T-shirt?” For a second it didn’t connect. Then mental images began to tumble around in his head and he got it. “Almost nobody around here runs around in white T-shirts.”
“Exactly. Except that driver. He’s been wearing one every time I’ve seen him. But most folks here...” She trailed off, then said firmly, “It could have been anyone.”
He tightened his hug, offering the only comfort he could, that of touch. “Try to eat something,” he suggested gently. “I need to think. And right now you don’t need to be afraid. You’re not alone.”
He got himself some coffee from the pot and joined her at the little table. She was obediently opening the foam containers in which Mavis had stuffed nearly half of the diner’s breakfast offerings, but she didn’t immediately start to eat. He couldn’t blame her. Who would have thought a white T-shirt could become such a big deal?
“You’re sure it was a T-shirt?”
“No collar, short sleeves. And it was chilly out there.”
“Idiot.”
She looked up, her expression changing, her eyebrows rising. “Idiot?”
“Idiot,” he repeated. “I haven’t been here that long and even I know how much he must stick out. The first day I was here I bought clothes to fit in. He never even thought of it.”
“So you think it was him?” The fear returned to her expression.
“I don’t know. Of course we can’t be certain, like you said. But it’s likely, given the way Jim questioned you last night, and Hasty’s warning. If Hasty is concerned...well, I’ll bet there isn’t much that happens around that truck stop that he hasn’t noticed. He may not know what’s going on, but he suspects something.”
She nodded, her face still pale.
“Eat. Please. You need to keep your energy up, even if you don’t feel like it.”
At last she started picking at a sweet roll, then as she ate, her appetite improved. He dug in himself because it was necessary, paying no attention to flavor or the quality. “You’ve seen White Shirt up close and personal twice now?”
“Yes.” She paused with a pi
ece of roll in her hand.
“You said you might be able to help with a sketch.”
“I can try. But how do we do that?”
“I’m thinking on it. I don’t want to give you a higher profile than I already have.”
“You’re blaming yourself? Buck, no!”
“Oh, yes. If I hadn’t blithely thought I could use dating you as a cover for my activities here, you’d have dropped off the radar pretty fast. Instead, I concoct a stupid plan and it’s blowing up. And somebody in Seattle must be involved or I wouldn’t have been ordered to stand down. You saw something, I’m investigating, and we’re hanging together. I might as well have put a target on your back.”
“You couldn’t have known!”
“I shouldn’t have forgotten that it seldom pays to trust anyone. I learned that freaking lesson the hard way.”
She crumbled the roll between her fingers. “But why would they ask you to investigate if they’re involved? I don’t get it.”
“Cover for them. They can say they asked me. The thing is, they assumed I was an ordinary MP. No idea what I’m capable of. They figured I’d come riding back and say I didn’t find or hear a thing. Instead I announce, like an idiot, that I’m going rogue on them because a driver is dead and I’m worried about you. Hell!”
He swore almost savagely and jumped up from the table. “I got rustier than I even imagined. I should have considered that the trail might lead right back to the people who sent me. I should have just done what Bill wanted me to, picked up Ray’s load and taken it to Denver and let it drop and played dumb.”
“That’s not like you.”
“Obviously not.” He shoved his fingers through his short, dark hair. “The only thing I’ve got going for the two of us right now is they think I’m basically a traffic cop. They think they called me off. God, I wish I’d never mentioned you.”
She rose and went to lay a hand on his arm. “Look, like you said, they think they’ve called you off. You said you were hanging around because you wanted me. If they believe that...”
“But that’s the question, isn’t it? If they believe that. Do they? I don’t know. I know my military records are hard enough to get at. The cops could, but even then their access was limited until Gage called on some friends of his in the government. So assuming Seattle checked into my past at all, they should find nothing except I was an MP. Most MPs don’t do the kind of stuff I did, the kind of stuff they need to worry about. Hell, my discharge papers don’t even list the organization I was really with.”
“So it’s good, right?”
“Hell if I know. I may have let some stuff drop to Bill. I can’t remember. If he’s the one involved, or if he passed it on...” He shook his head. “I need to think.”
“You need to stop driving yourself nuts. It is what it is.”
He looked at her. “Speaking from experience?”
“You better believe it,” she said hotly. “Dammit, Buck, I watched my mother die. Do you honestly think I don’t understand that there are some things we can’t do a thing about except endure them and get through them?”
She went to him again, gripping both his forearms this time, making him look into her eyes. “We’ll deal with it. We’ll find a way.”
It took him a minute to batter down his anger and self-disgust, but he did it. Somehow, looking into those violet eyes, eyes that ought to be accusing but instead reflected a genuine concern for him, got through his fury. He’d just told her he had endangered her through his own sense of hubris, but all she wanted was for him not to feel bad about it. She was extraordinary.
He knew he was lost then. Utterly lost. Whether or not he ever solved this mess, the only thing that mattered was keeping Haley safe. She mattered more to him than drugs, crime, all those things that had been his obsession for so many years until he’d gotten burned so badly he told himself he didn’t care anymore.
Because he did care, about Haley. Even if he never saw her again after this week, he had to know that she was going to be okay, that he’d left her no worse off than she had been before he’d barreled into her life.
He shook free of her grip, but only long enough to pull her into his arms and kiss her. He wanted her. Damn, he wanted her more than he could remember wanting anything. Yesterday had only whetted his appetite for her and her loving.
He was going to steal these minutes for them, and just for them. He was going to love her the way she deserved to be loved, and he was going to leave her with the best memory possible before he set out to deal with these cruds.
Because he was going to deal with them, if for no other reason than to protect Haley. And when he left this damn town, he wanted her to remember something good about him. Something truly good.
There was only one thing he could give her to do that: himself.
Sweeping her up into his arms, he carried her to her bed. When he felt her arm wrap tightly around his neck, and felt her lips kiss his cheek, he knew the only true goodness he had known in a long, long time.
He didn’t deserve it, not considering how he had set out to use her at the beginning. But deserve it or not, he was going to leave with this memory of her.
Or die with it.
Chapter 12
The world vanished in an instant. A strange kind of tunnel vision came over Haley as Buck set her on her feet beside the bed. All the things she’d been thinking about, like how silly and reckless she was to want a man who was a rolling stone, vanished as need burst forth into her mind and body as if nothing else in the world existed.
He stood gazing into her eyes, holding her by the shoulders. “Be sure,” he said quietly. “Be very sure. A woman gets a first time only once. I want it to be the one you really want.”
A momentary shyness poked up through the heavy sensual miasma that was fogging her brain. He knew she was a virgin. Somehow that embarrassed her, even though she had already figured he must have guessed. But to have it out in the open, and spoken... Her cheeks warmed.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay. Everyone has a first time. It should just be the right time with the right person. That’s all I’m asking, Haley. To be the right person and the right time. Because if it’s not, neither of us will forgive ourselves.”
She nodded and lifted a trembling hand to cup his cheek. “I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
“So I wasn’t the only one eyeballing over the last few months?”
The question caused her to laugh nervously. “Sometimes I just wanted to stare at you, but I never could.”
“Oh, baby,” he said, “I stared at you all the time. I had to slap down my own thoughts again and again.”
“Then stop slapping.”
He studied her, then nodded. “You can change your mind at any time. I mean it. And talk to me. Let me know what’s right, what’s wrong.”
“I’m not sure I know.”
“You’ll know when you feel it,” he promised.
“You’ll...show me?”
“What?”
“How to please you?”
“This is going to be a totally mutual delight.” He smiled faintly. “All the way. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
Something passed over his face, as if her offer of trust troubled him in some way, but then he leaned in and kissed her.
Had she just been feeling shy and embarrassed? No longer. His kiss swept that all away as his tongue plunged into her and teased nerves inside her mouth that she never would have imagined could feel so sensual. She tipped her head back to welcome him deeper, and he took the invitation immediately.
His hands began to prowl her body, first her neck, sending exquisite electric shocks running through her, then along her shoulders, more calming, then to her breasts, where he squeezed. She gasped and arched helplessly at the hot tide of pleasure that stoked. He kneaded gently, continuing to kiss her, moving from her mouth to her cheeks to her throat, then eased the pressure to brush lightly across t
he peaks of her breasts.
Her nipples responded instantly with flame. Who would have guessed such a light touch could feel so exquisite?
She grabbed his shoulders, needing support as he teased her along the path of passion. She lost all sense except that delightful brushing that promised and never fulfilled.
Almost before she knew what was happening, her shirt was pulled over her head. She gasped at the suddenness as cool air touched the skin of her back and belly, but almost before she absorbed that, she felt a twist on her back and her bra fell away.
She looked down and saw her naked breasts exposed to him, saw his dark, callused hands caressing that intimate flesh, felt the heat begin to pool like a huge weight between her legs. And with each touch of his fingers, another bolt of electricity shot through her. The sight alone would have driven her to the brink, but the touches took her so far it was almost painful.
The urge to hurry grew in her even as everything in her body seemed to become lethargic, as if the very fire of passion drained the strength from her.
“Easy,” he murmured. “You have such beautiful breasts. Just enjoy the pleasure they give you.”
“The pleasure you give me,” she whispered, mesmerized by the sight of him touching her so intimately. Her eyelids were growing heavy, too, like the rest of her, but she didn’t want to stop watching him touch her. The intimacy of his touch combined with seeing it excited her. Little murmurs of delight began to escape her, and lethargic or not, her body began to move. Every cell tugged her toward him.
He bent, and she gasped as his tongue flicked her engorged, reddened nipples, making them ache even more. Fiery ribbons ripped through her at each touch, and then when he pulled back and looked at her breasts with evident satisfaction, she thought she would melt.
The dampness of her nipples felt exquisite in contrast to the heat in the rest of her body. She thought it couldn’t get any better. But then he leaned in again and began to suck one of her breasts.
Ah! The pleasure was intense beyond imagining, and it instantly weakened her. She grabbed his head, holding him closer still. As if he sensed her need, he caught her hips in his hands and swung her around until she rested on the bed. She almost cried out at the loss of his mouth on her breast, but he didn’t leave much time for regret.
