“Watch your mouth,” James warned, flipping through a file and jotting a few notations down from his spot on the couch.
“Hey, I’m here doing you a favor,” Maverick shot back. “I told you I was off the clock until after New Year’s – I’ve got a big World of Warcraft tournament coming up – and I still came when you called. You owe me.”
“If you talk about my wife like that again I’m going to thump you,” James threatened.
“It’s not my fault your wife doesn’t wear underwear.” Maverick’s youth didn’t allow him to back down at times – even when he really should.
“My wife doesn’t wear underwear for my benefit,” James replied. “Nothing about that situation has anything to do with you.”
“You once stuck your hand up her skirt in front of me, so I beg to differ.”
James slammed the file down on the couch and fixed Maverick with a dangerous look. “Do you want me to come over there?”
Maverick held up his hands in a placating manner. “Seriously, dude, chill.”
Finn fought the urge to laugh – and lost. “Why is Maverick here?”
“We got video of the guy who tried to rob the jewelry store from a nearby gas station,” James replied. “It’s grainy and hard to make out. Maverick is seeing if he can do anything with it.”
“Shouldn’t you be nicer to him if he’s doing you a favor?”
“That’s what I said,” Maverick interjected.
“I’m sure you would feel differently if he was talking about Emma’s underwear,” James challenged.
“I would be fine with it,” Finn said.
“Is Emma the pregnant one?” Maverick asked.
“Yes.”
“Her jugs are huge!”
Finn frowned. “I … .”
“Don’t you ever just want to grab them and put your face between them and … .” Maverick mimed shaking his head back and forth, blowing air out of his lips to make an unpleasant accompanying sound to the visual assault.
“Hey!”
“Yeah, it’s not so funny now, is it?” James said.
Finn rolled his eyes and moved over to the couch, pushing his brother over so he could sit down next to him. “Did you hear what I said before we got lost on Maverick’s tangent?”
“Yeah,” James said. “Mandy’s last day before the holidays is today. I’m glad you’re getting her out of the house for me. Just make sure you and Jake watch her and nothing bad happens to her.”
Finn knit his eyebrows together, confused. “You want me to steal your wife for an afternoon? I expected you to put up a fight.”
“Mandy loves shopping and she’s going to have absolute power over you and Jake for an entire afternoon,” James replied. “That will put her in a good mood. By the way, if she sees something she goes ga-ga over, buy it and I’ll pay you back.”
“You can’t be serious,” Finn groused. “When are you going to stop buying her gifts?”
“When I feel like it,” James replied. “I’m not there yet.”
“That stuff we ordered from Think Geek is supposed to be delivered tomorrow, too,” Finn said. “Don’t forget.”
“I won’t,” James said. “I’ll divvy everything up and put it in bags under the desk with everyone’s name. That way it will stay hidden. I’m taking mine home tomorrow to wrap.”
“Is that why you want Mandy gone all afternoon?”
“We’re playing a game,” James admitted. “She and Ally tried to break into the safe at the house two hundred times while I was gone. The computer logged each attempt.”
“They obviously weren’t very good at it when they tried,” Maverick muttered.
“Doesn’t that tick you off?” Finn asked.
James shrugged. “Every time I logged onto the computer and saw that number going up, I couldn’t help but smile,” he said. “I knew exactly what she was doing and … I could picture her doing it.”
“Oh, you’re so schmaltzy,” Finn teased.
“I am,” James agreed.
“You said you were playing a game, though,” Finn pointed out. “Does that mean you’ve been searching for your Christmas gifts?”
James blushed. “Um … .”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t know what came over me,” James admitted. “Her studio door was locked when I came home the other day and before I even realized what was happening I picked the lock.”
“You ruined her Christmas surprises?” Finn was disappointed with his brother’s lack of willpower.
“Actually, she caught me in the act and made a big deal out of me betraying her trust.”
“And how did that end?”
“We had sex on the pool table. Twice.”
Maverick perked up. “Was she wearing underwear?”
James extended a warning finger in Maverick’s direction. “You get to work and stop thinking about my wife’s underwear.”
Maverick offered James a half-hearted salute. “Yes, sir.”
“We agreed to stop snooping through each other’s stuff,” James said. “To make sure she can’t see anything, though, I need a block of time to wrap her presents. Tomorrow is as good a time as any.”
“I’m glad I can be of assistance,” Finn said dryly. “Seriously, you two do some twisted stuff.”
“If you think that’s twisted, make sure I never tell you what we did in the hot tub last night.”
“Oh, gross!”
“I’m so getting a hot tub,” Maverick said, a faraway look in his eyes.
“Get back to work!”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Grinch!”
“He’s the reason I’m never having kids,” James said.
“He’s the reason I’m rethinking the one I have on the way,” Finn replied.
“You’re both the reason I never want to get old,” Maverick shot back.
“I’m ready for my Christmas break,” James groaned, slumping on the couch.
“Hey, at least you have an end in sight,” Finn said. “I have one day to make sure Emma has the best Christmas of her life.”
“Don’t worry about it,” James said. “Something tells me that Mandy is going to help you get the job done.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so,” James said. “My wife can do anything she sets her mind to. And shopping? She could do that in her sleep.”
“Do you think she’ll wear underwear while she’s shopping?” Maverick asked.
“That’s it, I’m going to kill him.”
“Try not to leave blood on the rug,” Finn said.
Fifteen
“Okay, we’re going to tackle this in an orderly fashion,” Mandy instructed, relishing the power she wielded as Jake and Finn dejectedly followed her into the mall. “We’re hitting the main floor first and then circling around the second floor.
“There will be no wandering off,” Mandy ordered. “There will be no shopping for yourselves. We are here to make Emma and Ally’s Christmas dreams come true. Keep your eyes on the prize.”
“You’re like a tiny, little drill sergeant,” Jake grumbled.
“I think she’s more like a horrible coach from one of those sports movies who barks out orders and kills the spirit of his team until they find a way to thrive without him,” Finn said.
“Do you want my help or not?”
“We want your help,” Finn said, resigned.
“Good. Let’s head to Macy’s first.”
Jake looked horrified at the suggestion. “But … .”
“Come on, boys,” Mandy ordered. “I have an idea for both of you in there.”
Jake and Finn reluctantly followed, keeping close to Mandy in case trouble found her – like it always did.
“Why are we in the home section?” Jake asked, looking around. “I don’t think Ally would appreciate it if I bought her a set of pots and pans.”
“Every single time I think you don’t have a sense of humor you prove me wrong,” Mandy said.
&nbs
p; “I’m being serious. What are we doing here?”
“This way,” Mandy said, beckoning. She led the uncomfortable men to the bedding department and immediately headed toward the far wall. She studied a few of the stacked sheet sets, double-checking sizes, and then tossed a purple set toward Finn and a black set toward Jake. “Those are satin sheets. They are both practical and sexy. When you’re planning a romantic evening, those things are very shiny and make a woman feel like she’s about to win the lottery.”
Jake studied the sheets for a moment, surprised. “I … these are kind of cool. What made you think of these?”
“Ally has always wanted a set of satin sheets,” Mandy replied. “When we were teenagers, she told me a specific fantasy about black satin sheets. Those are going to be a hit.”
“What about Emma?” Finn didn’t look convinced.
“Satin sheets are a luxury and they seem … decadent,” Mandy explained. “I’m sure Emma never had anything like them. I promise she’s going to love them. I picked the purple for her because they’re going to match the paint in your bedroom.”
“Okay,” Finn said, shoving the sheets under his arm. “You might have convinced me. What else have you got?”
Mandy led the two men around the corner and stopped in the middle of the decorations department. She studied a handful of baskets and grabbed two, both large, before handing one to Jake and the other to Finn.
“What are these for?”
“You’re building love baskets, gentlemen,” Mandy explained. “You’re going to put the sheets, some Victoria’s Secret lotion, a few candles and … um … a few other things that we need to stop into Spencer Gifts to get.”
“Oh, man, you’re going to make us get sex stuff, aren’t you?” Finn was horrified. “James is not going to like it if you go sex shopping with us.”
“Buying a few warming massage oils and flavored whipped creams is not sex shopping,” Mandy shot back. “Get your mind out of the gutter. You’re going, and you’re going to like it.”
“This could be the worst day of my life,” Jake said.
“If you don’t keep up, it’s going to get even worse,” Mandy threatened.
“Do you think she’s that bossy with James?” Jake asked, falling into step beside Finn.
“I think she’s probably just bossy enough to drive him crazy … in more ways than one,” Finn replied. “It’s going to be a really long day, isn’t it?”
“Come on!”
“I AM mortified to be in here,” Jake admitted, lowering his eyes so the woman staring at him from the other side of the whipped cream display didn’t get any ideas.
“You’ll live,” Mandy replied, scanning the massage oil shelf. Spencer Gifts was their last stop. She thought Finn and Jake were acting like babies in Victoria’s Secret as they picked out lingerie. They were ten times worse in Spencer Gifts. It was starting to get annoying. “Okay, Emma can’t have anything fruit flavored because it makes her sick to her stomach. She loves chocolate, though.” Mandy handed Finn a canister of the chocolate flavored whipped cream and then added a matching massage oil bottle to his basket.
“Ally loves coconut,” Mandy said, tossing two items in Jake’s direction. “I want … what do I want?”
“Since when are we shopping for you?” Finn asked, annoyed.
“Since I spent the entire afternoon saving your Christmas,” Mandy said, grabbing a canister of red velvet cake whipped cream. “Please tell me they have this in a massage oil. James loves red velvet cake.”
Finn exchanged an irritated look with Jake. They were both thinking the same thing: Mandy had officially gone power mad.
“Hey,” Jake said, shifting his gaze to the front of the store. “Isn’t that … what’s his name … the dude who owns the jewelry store,” he said. “That’s his son, isn’t it?”
“You mean Art the Happy Groper?” Mandy asked, peering around Jake’s shoulder.
“He didn’t grope anyone,” Jake argued.
“He wanted to grab Ally’s melons and give them a good squeeze.”
“Do not make me gag you,” Jake warned, causing Mandy to grin.
“That guy right there?” Mandy asked, pointing.
Finn nodded. “That’s him. That’s … um … Ryan. Ryan Carmichael.”
“And he runs the Detroit store?” Mandy pressed. “Given Art and Ava’s general disdain for the area, how did that happen?”
“That’s actually a good question,” Jake said.
“All of my questions are good.”
Finn snorted. “James once told me that you asked if any sharks could live in chlorinated water so you could put one in your pool.”
Mandy wrinkled her nose, irked. “That was something I asked him when we were drunk in the hot tub one night. I wasn’t serious.”
“I’m sure you weren’t,” Finn said, patting the top of her head. “What is he doing?”
Ryan perused the flavored condom packages with a studied eye, oblivious to anyone watching him.
“Maybe he’s got a big date,” Mandy suggested. “He looks like the kind of guy who pays for it. Maybe he needs those condoms so he doesn’t get a disease. Herpes is not a gift you want to get during the Christmas season.”
The trio watched as Ryan carried his assembled goodies to the checkout counter, whipping a huge wad of cash out of his pocket to pay for the items.
“Does a manager at a jewelry store usually carry that much cash?” Mandy asked.
“I would say no,” Jake said. “Even if you had that much money, why would you carry it around in a wad like that?”
“Maybe it’s the money that was stolen from the customers’ purses and wallets in the store,” Mandy suggested. “It looks like a hodgepodge of bills. I’ve never seen that guy before. He wasn’t in the store the day of the robbery.”
Jake narrowed his eyes, his gaze bouncing between Mandy and Ryan. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I would recognize him.”
“Does he have the same build as the robber?”
Mandy tilted her head to the side, considering. “Yeah. I mean … I can’t be a hundred percent sure he’s the guilty party, but it definitely could be him.”
“We have no proof,” Finn cautioned.
“Let’s see if we can find some,” Jake suggested. “Come on. Does everyone have what they need?”
“I just need to grab one more thing of massage oil,” Mandy said, darting back around Jake. “James is going to have a lot of rubbing in his future.”
“You two are so sick I can’t even … there are no words,” Finn said.
“Hey, we’re going to have a holly jolly Christmas whether you prudes like it or not.”
“YOUR wife is officially a monster,” Finn said, letting himself into James’ home office and studying the mountain of gifts on his desk. They were all wrapped, and James was leaning back in his chair resting from his afternoon exertion. “Seriously?”
“Yeah … I might have a sickness,” James admitted.
Finn arched a challenging eyebrow. “Might?”
“She’s just so cute,” James said. “Did you buy anything I need to wrap for her?”
Finn scowled. “No. She was on point and barking out orders like a militant little drill sergeant. It was terrifying.”
James smirked. “Did she help you get everything you needed?”
“I hate to admit it because she made me go to embarrassing places to buy … stuff … but she had some great ideas,” Finn conceded. “She started with satin sheets and ended with flavored massage oils and whipped cream. She got some for the two of you, by the way. It’s red velvet flavored.”
James leaned forward. “Yum.”
“You’re as sick as she is,” Finn said.
“Speaking of sick, um … I’m not sure if I should tell you this or not, but I found it funny so I’m taking a leap of faith here,” James said, flipping his laptop screen up. “Come over here.”
“You’re not goi
ng to show me some nasty sexual thing with Mandy, are you?”
“No, you gross bastard,” James snapped. “I got an alert on my computer from the office about an hour ago. Since it was empty, I was worried someone broke in. Apparently the person wandering around didn’t realize we have cameras everywhere.”
Finn stilled. “Emma?”
“Yes,” James said.
“She wouldn’t steal anything,” Finn said, immediately making excuses. “She wouldn’t get into the files or anything.”
James held his hand up to quiet his brother. “I’m not accusing her of that,” he said. “While I’m not a hundred percent sure what she was looking for, I do have an idea. Do you want to see?”
“Why are you smiling?”
“Because it’s kind of funny,” James said. “Come watch.”
Finn warily walked behind the desk and James played the video in question. The footage clearly showed Emma walking into James’ office. She was rubbing her stomach and looking around – including getting on the floor and searching under the couch.
“What do you think, baby? Did Daddy hide my presents in here?”
“Holy crap,” Finn said. “She’s trying to figure out what I got her for Christmas.”
“It gets cuter … and a little sadder,” James said.
Finn kept his eyes glued to the computer screen.
“I know this is wrong, baby,” Emma said. “I’m not trying to teach you that this is the right thing to do. I need to make sure that I have enough presents for Daddy for Christmas.”
“Oh, man.”
“Wait,” James instructed.
“This is our only Christmas with just the two of us,” Emma said, pulling James’ chair away from his desk. “I need to build enough memories to last a lifetime here. Once you join us, things will be different.
“Don’t get me wrong, we’re going to have a great time with you,” she continued. “I just … I need him to know how much I love him. So, the lesson here is that snooping is wrong – unless you really need to know something. Then it’s okay.”
James switched the computer off. “She didn’t find anything.”
“That’s because everything I bought her is out in the truck,” Finn said. “Ally said she would wrap it for me so I can pick it up Christmas Eve. I … what should I do?”
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