I snorted, even that hurting. “I’m beginning to understand why you asshole. Well fuck you. I’ll just find my clothes and I’m out of here.”
Deciding I just wanted to get out of there and not get into why he’d tried to choke me to death I turned from him, groping around on the floor until I found my underwear. Hastily I pulled my bra and panties on. The stockings, I carried with me out of the bedroom and when I found my bag, I stuffed them into it. My dress was where Shay had left it when he’d removed it and I stepped into it, twisting around behind me to zip it up.
I’d just slipped on my shoes and had my phone in my hand looking for the local cab company so I could call for one when Shay emerged from his bedroom. He’d pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and nothing else, and even despite my anger, pain and fear I felt, my body still responded at the sight of him.
I’d never seen him with his hair down before. The near black strands with the chestnut highlights hung to his shoulders and I stared at him, my heart contracting. With his hair loose and half-dressed it gave him a primitive, wild look. He was more than primitive and wild though, he was dangerous. I didn’t want to think what might have happened had I not been able to wake him.
I met his stormy eyes across the room as I called for a cab but when the operator on the phone asked for the address, I realised I didn’t know it. Still glowering at me, he rattled it off and I repeated it, thanking the person on the line before hanging up.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of here in five minutes if the cab is on time.” I told him, lowering my gaze from his.
I couldn’t look at him. If I did I’d start crying. Last night had been so perfect, so amazing and now it had all gone to hell. Waking up after being punched in the face, even if it was an accident and then nearly choked to death made me realise this beautiful looking man had issues too big for me to deal with.
“Fine.” He gave me a stilted one word reply.
“Can I use your bathroom before I go?” I asked, still not able to look at him.
“Yeah but you might want to use the other bathroom.” He pointed to a doorway across the room. This place was built to suit me. The en-suite bathroom isn’t like other bathrooms. There’s no door.” He explained; his voice calmer now.
“Fine.” I didn’t wait for him to say anything more. I just pivoted and walked on shaky legs across the large living room to the bathroom. It wasn’t a very big room. There was a shower at one end, a toilet and vanity with a mirror hanging above it.
I took care of business before washing my hands and studying my image in the mirror. I looked pale and I could see a reddened area beginning to form on one cheek, not to mention the start of bruising on my neck. I swept my hair forward to hide the damage Shay had done. I was going to have a black eye for sure by tomorrow. Leaning closer I stared into my eyes and I saw the glassiness of the tears I was trying so hard to hold at bay.
I heard Shay call my name, his voice muffled through the closed door and reluctantly I left the bathroom. When I walked back out he was in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.
“Your cab’s here.” He informed me and I nodded. Finally I could escape this place and him.
Not even bothering to say goodbye because there was no point really. The animosity rolling off Shay made his feelings about me being in his home painfully clear. I needed to escape him because he’d hurt me and his attitude towards me now was destroying me.
Rushing to the front door I let myself out and hurried down the short paved footpath to where the cab was waiting. I barely noticed the view Shay had from his home; although it registered he was right near the water. It didn’t matter though. I just wanted to get the hell out of here and go home where I could lick my wounds in peace.
Once I was in the back seat of the car I turned, surprised to see Shay by the open door. He was watching me and I saw his eyes shift to my cheek, his hand coming out, his fingers brushing lightly over where I knew he’d hurt me. He frowned when I flinched.
“What happened to you? Did you hurt yourself?” He asked.
God, he didn’t know he’d done this? How could he not know? Unless he’d still been asleep?
I didn’t answer for a moment, instead turning to give the cab driver my address. I reached for the door handle to close the door but before I did I raised my eyes to his.
“I didn’t do this. You did.” I said softly and before he could react or say anything in response, I shut the door on him just as the cab pulled away from kerb.
Before it got too far from Shay’s home I turned back to get one final glimpse of him, cursing my weakness that I would even bother to look back and I felt the tiniest burst of satisfaction when I saw the horror on his face.
Chapter Fifteen
Shay
I watched the cab pull away with Lyla’s words ringing in my ears and my stomach rolled ominously. I felt nausea rise in me, bile working its way up the back of my throat, and I threw up in the gutter outside my home.
What the fuck had I done? Obviously I’d done something while I was asleep. The question was: what? I couldn’t remember anything dammit. So that meant I had to have had one of those dreams. Worse still, I’d had it while Lyla was here. Maybe her being in my bed triggered it? I hadn’t had one of those dreams in a while but from previous experience, stress was a trigger or any major upset to my routine. Last night had been one hell of an upset to my routine.
Knowing that at times it was possible for me to lash out or attack during my nightmares was one of the reasons why I never had women over or stayed with a woman for the night. It would lead to questions I wasn’t prepared to answer and bring up things I didn’t want to face. No, I could never risk anyone finding out about my past. I wouldn’t be able to live with the shame and humiliation of it. I couldn’t handle to see the pity or revulsion in their eyes. It was far better and safer to play the game and keep up the image that women wanted and keep the truth buried.
The trouble was, it hadn’t stayed buried. Ok, the reasons for my nightmares hadn’t been revealed but Lyla had become an innocent victim of the violence I played out in my sleep.
God the thought that I’d hurt her physically caused my stomach to roll over again. I had to go and see her. I needed to know she was alright. She probably wouldn’t talk to me again after the way I’d treated her. I’d been horrible to her. I’d spoken to her like she was nothing more than a whore. I’d lashed out at her out of fear. Fear of her expectations of me and fear that there was even the tiniest possibility that I saw her as more. More than just a casual fuck like all the other women.
Pain hit me in the chest. Pain like someone had just driven a knife into my heart. Last night had been unbelievable. The sex…fuck…I’d never felt like that. I’m not sure I’d ever come so damn hard in my life. It wasn’t just because I’d held off for ages wanting to give Lyla the ultimate sexual experience. My damn ego wouldn’t allow anything less than my best for her. I’d been determined for it not to be over too quickly.
It wasn’t just the sex though. It was her. Her beauty, her passion and the way she’d given herself to me. She’d trusted me and she’d done it all knowing that I was not going to be her happily ever after. She’d fallen asleep in my arms and I’d treated her like crap this morning. It made me feel worse knowing that I’d spoken to her so appallingly but being unaware at that point that I’d physically hurt her. I winced. I’d destroyed our night together, brutally, cruelly and all because I’d panicked. All because a part of me, deep, deep inside recognised that she was different to all the others.
Dammit, I had to go and see her. I had to make sure she was alright. She’d given the cab driver her address so she was going home. Damn, that meant she was going to the home she shared with Leo. Fuck, if he saw the mark on her face and if she told him how I’d behaved, her brother would kill me.
Still I had to risk it. I wasn’t a coward and in this case I’d fucked up royally. I needed to go and fix it. Turning I rushed back in the house a
nd not bothering with a shower first, I dressed quickly in old jeans and a white tee-shirt. I put my hair in its ponytail and after donning shoes and socks I grabbed my car keys and headed for the garage.
When I pulled up outside the apartment block where Lyla and Leo lived I walked rapidly to the doors that led into the building. The block was secure and no one could get in without buzzing someone they knew. Getting inside might be a problem. If Lyla was alone, it was doubtful she’d let me in, and if she wasn’t alone, it was just as doubtful that Leo would let me in.
When I buzzed, there was no response at first until finally I heard Lyla’s voice. She sounded like she’d been crying and my heart twisted in my chest again, knowing I was responsible.
“Please let me up. I need to speak to you. It’s Shay.”
“I know who it is.” She replied. “You can come up, but really there’s nothing you can say to me. I think you’ll regret your decision to come here.”
I closed my eyes, grimacing at her words, but at least she was going to let me up. Whether she would let me into the apartment itself, remained to be seen. Before I could give it all too much thought, I heard the buzz of the door and the lock disengaged.
Taking a deep breath I opened it and with long strides headed across the foyer to the elevators. I rode up to Lyla and Leo’s floor and when I got to their door, I knocked my heart beginning to pound in my chest.
The door opened and I stepped forward straight into a fist that completely blind-sided me. My head snapped back and I stumbled, falling to my knees. When I glanced up, eyes watering and blood beginning to drip from my nose, I looked straight up into the angry features of Leo.
“What the fuck did you do to my sister you asshole?” He snarled. His hands coming out and he lunged at me again but this time I was prepared for him and I rolled out of the way before he could strike me.
“Fuck it, will you stop hitting me? I need to speak to your sister. I know she’s here so don’t try and pretend she’s not.” I said, leaping to my feet and eyeing off Leo warily in case he tried to hit me again. I wiped at the blood on my face, smearing it across the back of my hand. Fortunately either Leo wasn’t much of a hitter or I wasn’t much of a bleeder because the flow already seemed to be slowing down.
“Why would I try to pretend she’s not here? I know she buzzed you in but I told her I wanted to be the one to greet you at the door.” He rubbed the palm of one hand over his knuckles and I knew by his action he was reliving the moment his fist made contact with my face. I couldn’t complain though. I deserved it.
“I need to see her.” I said quietly and Leo snorted.
“So you can lay into her again? She came in looking like she’d done a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Not to mention crying. Fuck, she’s done nothing but cry since she got home. It took a bit to get her to open up and tell me what the hell had happened. So you take her home, fuck her and then beat the shit out of her? I didn’t figure you for the abusive type Shay but I guess you don’t ever truly know someone.”
Each one of Leo’s words hit me like a knife. How had it all gone so rapidly to shit? I had to fix this. I had to make Lyla realise I never intended to hurt her but I had to do it without telling her why I had nightmares. I couldn’t tell her about that. I’d never told anyone about that. I couldn’t because it would change the way people looked at me and treated me if they knew the truth. It was too painful. It was too painful to relive. Even if I did sometimes relive it through my dreams.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her. Dammit. Didn’t she tell you I must have done it while I was asleep? I can’t control what I do while I’m asleep.”
Leo’s expression didn’t soften. “I don’t give a fuck when you did it. You hurt my sister. You fucking attacked her. You hit her and damn near choked her. That’s all bad enough but after doing that to her, you prove just what an asshole you are by throwing her out of your home like she’s little more than a common whore? No one treats my sister like that. Why the fuck did you take her to Primrose Sands anyway? It cost her a small fortune with the cab fare to get home.”
“I didn’t know I’d hit her and choked her.” I whispered, my guilt swamping me when I thought about what I’d done to Lyla. “I took her to Primrose Sands because she’s too good for my fuck pad ok? I couldn’t take her there. I didn’t intend for her to stay the night though. Lyla fell asleep and I guess I was tired too. I never meant to fall asleep as well, but I did. Next thing I’m waking up in bed and she’s looking like she’d just made one huge ass mistake or something.”
Leo glared at me for a moment or two. “She got that right at least. She did make one huge ass mistake. She went home with you. If she looked like she was regretting being with you, my guess is the fist to her face, or the hand around her neck were responsible.” He jerked his head at me. “Get your ass in here. You need to see what state my sister is in. Yeah, I wanted Lyla to experience good sex and stop settling for the dull men she seems to get involved with. I didn’t know it would turn into you hitting her and treating her the way you did. At least none of her boyfriends have ever used her as a punching bag before.” He snapped. “You two told me there was nothing between you. You haven’t laid eyes on each other in months anyway.”
”I dragged myself up to my full height looking Leo right in the eye. “We lied ok? We fucking lied. I’ve wanted her since I first laid eyes on her but I was trying to respect her and even you too, and not do what instincts told me to do, which was take her and fuck her. She deserves better than me. I know that. Last night when I saw her at the club I couldn’t fight it any longer. Don’t make me out to be the bad guy. She knew what she was getting into when she agreed to come home with me.”
“No she didn’t know because she would never have gone with you if she’d thought you’d get violent with her and toss her out like week old leftovers. She deserves better than that. She deserves a hell of a lot better than you.” He waved me inside the apartment. “I’ll go get her and you two can talk then but you better not upset her again. There had better be one hell of a lot of grovelling too. You have a lot to make up for after what you did to her.” He warned.
“Let me go to her, please Leo. I need to speak to her but privately. I won’t hurt her. I swear I won’t touch one single hair on her head. You know I can’t be blamed for what I did when I’m asleep. Please. I would never intentionally hurt any woman. I fucked up. Give me a chance to fix it. Hell, you’re here. You can beat my head in if I do anything that upsets her all, ok?”
I watched the tension ease in his shoulders and I walked past him, further into the apartment. As I passed him, he slapped a hand down hard on my back and I spun around meeting the challenge in his eyes.
“Don’t fucking hurt her again or I’ll hurt you asshole.”
“Don’t fucking lecture me Leo. I said I wouldn’t hurt her. I want to apologise to her.”
“Go talk to her then but be warned, she better not come out of her room crying again.” He stabbed a finger into my chest and I fought not to punch him in the face. With a final glare at one another, I turned from Leo and headed down the short hallway to Lyla’s room. All too soon I was staring at her door and with a deep breath to try and calm my nerves: I knocked.
“Jesus Leo I don’t need mothering and especially not from you and I hope you sent Shay packing. I don’t want to see him.” Her voice sounded muffled through the door. I didn’t answer her. I couldn’t. If I did she’d know I wasn’t her brother and given she’d just made it clear she didn’t want to see me, if I answered her, she definitely wouldn’t let me in her room.
Instead I grasped the door handle and opened the door, stepping inside before closing it behind me. Immediately my eyes turned to her and my stomach felt like someone had taken it and squeezed it firmly in their hands. Bile tried to make its way up the back of my throat and I fought not to actually vomit as I stared at her.
One cheek was bruising and red, and I thought I could see slight swelling under her eye. Given
she’d clearly been crying a lot, so much so that her cheeks were red and her eyes puffy and bloodshot, it was hard to tell how much damage was from me and how much was from her tears. I winced. Technically I was responsible for her tears too. So that meant all the pain and suffering I saw on her face was because of me. Still, even with her tear drenched, puffy eyes and flushed cheeks she was beautiful.
“Wha…what the hell…are you…doing here? How dare you? How dare you come into my room? What do you want? I told you when you buzzed it would be a mistake to come up. Clearly you have more balls than I gave you credit for. What I don’t understand is why Leo let you in?” She asked, her voice shaking. I remained silent until she lifted her head and her eyes narrowed. “My brother hit you?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but I deserved it.” I wiped at the drying blood on my nose.
Lyla snorted in response and although she didn’t look at all happy to have me in her room, I walked over to the bed where she lay and sat down. I let my eyes drift over her and I winced again at the sight of the bruise I could see forming on her cheek. Reaching out I let my fingertips flutter carefully over her, gently, keeping my touch little more than a feather light touch against her injured skin, but she still flinched. I frowned, my throat suddenly dry, making it hard to swallow.
“I came to see you. Trust me Leo’s already made his feelings more than clear. I wanted to fix this. I’m sorry baby.” I whispered.
Her head shot up. “You’re sorry?” She sat up, moving closer to me. “You’re sorry? How sorry? Sorry enough to take this?” Before I could react her hand shot up and the sound of her palm connecting with my cheek was like a gunshot in her bedroom. I winced, my hand flying up to press over the smarting skin. First Leo, now her. I couldn’t complain though. If that was the worst they threw at me, I was getting off lighter than I deserved.
Sex God Page 16
