by Matt Shaw
I looked around the class. Who’s next? My eyes settled on a girl at the front of the class. She immediately started to cry. She knows it is her turn.
“Please, I haven’t done anything to you...” It’s true. She hasn’t done anything to me. It’s only from hearing her call out, during the many registrations we have sat through, that I am aware of her name; Chloe. “Please...”
“I know you haven’t,” I said. “But this isn’t all about me.” I turned to look at the seven stood behind me; David, Lindsey, Elizabeth, Marcus, Samantha, Kate, Helen...They all look to be enjoying my little floor show. I turned back to Chloe...Sitting there, looking pretty with her short, dark hair and her big brown eyes, carefully applied make-up used to enhance her looks as opposed to hide them behind an unnecessary layer of slap. Looking into her eyes, she already looked as though she were going to start crying. Pathetic. You’d have thought people who were nasty to other people...You’d have thought it would have been harder to break them but this is proving fairly easy. “Come to the front of the class,” I instructed her. “Let’s have a chat.”
Reluctantly Chloe stood up. She gave a glance in the direction of her friends. No doubt she was hoping one of them would step forward and offer her some assistance. Not a chance. They didn’t want to get involved. They didn’t want the spotlight turned onto them. Chloe stood a few feet away from me. I had never really noticed before how skinny she was. I wonder if she was naturally that skinny or whether she was one of these girls who’d eat a meal just to sick it back up in the toilet when they thought no one was looking?
“Lindsey...” All I did was say a girl’s name and Chloe started to cry. She knew where this was going. “Do you want to tell the class what you did to Lindsey?” Chloe shook her head. “Oh, come on now...Don’t be shy...Would you rather we asked Lindsey?”
“Please stop it.”
They all say the same thing. It’s getting tiresome. I’m not going to stop, just as they didn’t either when they were asked. Fair is fair, after all.
“You look nervous. Don’t be. We’re all friends, aren’t we? Here...I got you something...” I reached into my rucksack, which I had left by the table at the front of the class, and pulled out a tupperware box. I pulled the lid off and showed Chloe the contents. “Chocolate cake...”
“I don’t want any.”
“Of course you do, don’t be ungrateful. I got one for you and one for your friend Lindsey...You know she likes cakes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? You’ve done nothing to be sorry for...Have you? Have I missed something?” I hadn’t missed anything. I knew what Chloe had done. She would spend her time, with her friends from the year above, following Lindsey around taunting her because of her weight. Lindsey being one of the school’s larger pupils. I’m not sure if it was because she over-ate or some genetic thing which made her so. It wasn’t important. The consequences of their words always had the same ending; Lindsey would cry herself to sleep, sometimes cutting herself before she climbed into her bed.
“We need to get Ben some help,” said Mrs Price. She wasn’t watching Chloe and I. Her eyes were fixed on Ben. He looked pale, there was no denying that. “He’s dying...”
“I’m talking to my friend. Please don’t interrupt me again,” I said. I turned back to Chloe and handed her a cake. “Eat it.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You can eat it willingly or I can feed you. I don’t mind which.”
She looked back to her friends. None of them made a move to help her. Slowly she took the cake from me and looked at it.
“It looks good, doesn’t it?” I asked. “I made it myself.”
“Please, I’m not hungry.”
“Of course you are. Look at it! How can that not make you hungry?”
The cake did look good. Chocolate sponge covered in chocolate icing. I would have eaten it myself. Had I not put in the little extra ingredient. Chloe moved the cake closer to her mouth. Slowly her mouth opened. It must be watering in there. How could it not? The cake looks amazing. I should set up a little shop. Start selling them. I could make a fortune.
9.
I was sitting with David, in the cinema, waiting for the film to start. He paid; some chick flick he had wanted to see. I should have known when he invited me to a film that it wouldn’t have been a typical horror for boys to enjoy. Ah well, I couldn’t grumble; it was still better than being in class, I suppose. Just.
“So how would you teach them a lesson?” I asked him.
“Not really thought about it.”
“Really?”
“Okay, I’d make them kiss each other,” he said, a split second later.
“What?”
“Piers and his friends...In front of the whole class...I’d make them kiss each other. That way they couldn’t call me gay anymore.”
“They couldn’t?”
“Of course not...” The lights dimmed and the screen flickered into life. David whispered to me, “If everyone has seen them kiss...They’d hardly be in a position to carry on calling me gay!” I didn’t answer him. I suppose, all being said and done, he had a point.
“How’d you make them kiss?” I asked.
He shrugged, “I don’t know...Wave a gun in their face?”
I laughed, “You have thought about this, haven’t you?”
“Lots,” he answered immediately. “Want some of my popcorn?” He tipped his large tub of popcorn towards me.
I shook my head, “No thanks. Hate popcorn. It tastes like shit.”
* * * * *
A smile spread across my face as fresh dog shit dribbled down Chloe’s chin. I guess the little stint in the oven made it runny? Should have expected that, not that it’s a problem. It was probably worse for her, to have it trickle down her face. She’ll be tasting that for days. As soon as she realised what it was, she gagged and spat the cake onto the floor.
“No!” I shouted. “You must eat it all!” I grabbed the cake and shoved it into her mouth. My hand clamped across her face to stop her from spitting it out once more. She struggled, in my grasp, but I didn’t release her until I felt her swallow some of it. “That’s it...Good girl...” I couldn’t help but think of Rebecca swallowing my own poison too. A smile spread across my face. As soon as I let go of Chloe, she threw up on the floor. It’s starting to smell in here...What with the blood, puke, shit and stench of fear. Thank God the lesson is nearly over. It’ll be nice to get some fresh air. “You can sit down now,” I whispered to Chloe when she finished sicking up, what she had eaten, onto the floor. She stood up and made her way back to her seat, spitting as she went.
“You’re going to burn in Hell for this,” said Mrs Price. “You know that, don’t you?” She didn’t look scared of me anymore. She looked angry. A familiar expression we, as a class, were used to. Maybe she knew I wasn’t going to actually shoot anyone? “Your mum and dad will be known around the world for what you have done. You’ll be rotting in prison, and then Hell, and they’ll be having to live with the consequences of your actions.”
“Then I guess, with all of us residing there, Hell will be full.”
“Just let us go before you do something you’ll regret.”
“I’ll regret nothing of today.”
“You say that now but in years to come...You’ll realise...This wasn’t the way...”
I turned to David, behind me. The look on his face...The look of sorrow. Lindsey’s face...Having just seen her tormentor eat dog shit...I won’t regret anything about today.
“When you’re quite finished,” I said, “there’s still much to do.”
“You’re a psycho,” she continued.
“No, I’m not. I’m a product of my surroundings. You...All of you sitting here...You all made me.”
“That’s rubbish,” said Mrs Price. I knew I could count on her to ruin my buzz. “People are bullied every day. You don’t see them holding their class to ransom.”
“I�
�m not holding anyone to ransom! As soon as the bell goes, you’re all free to leave.”
“Let us go now!”
“Now you know you’re not allowed to wander the corridors during lesson time. You can get sent to the Head’s office. You can go as soon as the bell goes. Those aren’t my rules. They’re the schools...”
“They’d allow an exception...”
I glared at her, “Did you want to come to the front of the class again? Have you not learned your lesson?” She didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought.”
I turned back to the seven behind me. Lindsey seems satisfied how I dealt with Chloe. David seems to be quieter than usual. Funny, really, considering this was his plan initially. Five more students who need someone to fight their battles for them; Elizabeth, Marcus, Samantha, Kate, Helen. I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to help them all. Not entirely sure there is time enough to deal with each of their complaints. Never enough time.
* * * * *
“Where have you been?” asked mum as soon as I stepped into the family home. I didn’t answer her straight away. I wasn’t expecting to be bombarded with her questions as soon as I walked in. Couldn’t exactly tell her I had been at the cinema with David. She’d be mad that I hadn’t gone to school. She might even be mad enough, after the video incident, to report it to dad too - when he comes home from work...If he comes home from work. “I asked you a question - where have you been? Dinner is ruined.” Dinner wouldn’t have been ruined, I doubt she would have even cooked it yet.
“I was in the library with David,” I lied. Stupid, really, as she knew it would be a lie. I can’t remember the last time I went to a library.
“The school phoned.”
“What?”
“They phoned. Apparently you didn’t show up for registration after lunch. They wanted to know if everything was okay.”
“They actually called?”
“Yes...”
“They do that?”
“So where were you?” Mum’s face reddened. I knew she was mad. One of the signs she was angry was when her face went a bright shade of red; similar to if she were embarrassed. The thing with mum, though, is that she’d only be angry because she wouldn’t have known where I was...Because she would have been worried...Not because I didn’t go to class. “Well?”
“I was at the cinema...”
“With David?”
“Yes, with David. We had some problems at lunchtime and couldn’t face going back for the afternoon. We didn’t think it would be a problem...”
“More like you didn’t think the school would have called?”
“And that...”
“Look, mum, I don’t like it there. The name-calling...The bullying...”
“They’ll settle down, it’s just because you’re new.”
“What? No. No it’s not. It’s because I am friends with a homosexual and I dared stick up for him. You saw what happened with the video. You saw that. The trouble I got into...It’s going to carry on. God only knows what they’ll do next. I don’t want to go back...”
“You have to go back! I’m sure they’ll soon get bored and move onto someone else.”
“It’s different to the way it was when you were at school, mum...You know, when the world was in black and white and you didn’t lock your front door at night...”
“Well you’re going back tomorrow. If you want I can go in with you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I didn’t mean to. “Thanks but I’m pretty sure that won’t help!”
“Well just stand up to them then! Now promise me you won’t bunk off again.” I didn’t say anything. “Promise me.”
“Fine. I promise. Whatever.” I pushed past her to head up the stairs to my room. I knew it was pointless telling her about what was happening at school but figured there was nothing to lose. Nothing to lose, at least, other than my patience. Once upstairs, and in my bedroom, I closed the door for some privacy. I don’t know how David does it. He’s been dealing with this for months now, I’ve only had it for a couple of weeks and it’s getting to me. Perhaps it’s because I am tired; tired of moving around from school to school...Home to home...Tired of the pressures of playing catch up with school work...Tired of having to meet new people and try and make new friends...Trying to pretend that everything is okay, at home, when really...I’ve had enough of my mum’s constant smothering and the fact my old man is never there - always working for the Ministry of Defense...I’m even tired of not knowing, exactly, what he does for a living which causes us to move around so much. I’m just tired. I’ve had enough. And...I can’t believe the school phoned home on my first missing afternoon. So much for escaping from time to time, to get some peace and quiet. I can’t have them call home all the time. It’ll only cause issues at home too. Then there’ll be no escape.
The door opened and mum came in, “Your friend David is downstairs. Is he okay? His face looks terrible...”
“What?” I jumped off the bed, where I had slumped, and hurried downstairs. David was standing at the foot of the stairs with his face all battered and bruised. “What happened?” I asked.
“I’ve had enough!” he said before I had even finished my sentence. “I’ve fucking had enough of it all...” David was getting more upset. It looked as though the only reason he wasn’t already crying was because he was so angry. “All of them...I’ve had it...I’m not going back...That’s it...”
“What happened?” I asked again. “Jesus Christ, David...Just tell me!”
“Piers...His friends...They happened. Outside my house, man. Outside my house.”
“What about your parents? They didn’t see what happened?”
“They’re not home. They never get home until later in the evening. They fucking waited for me outside my house.”
Mum appeared behind me, “Are you okay?” she asked David.
“No, of course he’s not okay. Look at him!” I said. “This is what it’s like at school. Those bullies...The ones you said would leave us alone...This is what they do...” I felt myself getting as angry as David. “Come on,” I said to him, “you can get yourself cleaned up in the bathroom.” I led the way for him whilst mum just watched, a look on her face which suggested she still didn’t get it. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would take for her to understand.
10.
“You okay now?” I asked David. We were standing outside his front door having been given a lift by mum. She waited in the car whilst David and I chatted.
“I’m fine,” he said. I didn’t believe him. I was worried about him. He didn’t really seem as though he was there; the lights were on but he wasn’t home.
I looked towards the living room window. The lights were on so I guess one, or both, of his parents were home now. “Are you going to tell them what happened?”
“Don’t think I can hide it...” His face did look a mess. “It won’t make a difference, though. They’ll still make me go back tomorrow.”
“They don’t care?”
“Dad said once that it was deserved.”
“What? How?”
“Because...”
“You’re gay?” I asked. David didn’t say anything but I guessed that’s why his dad felt as though he deserved a beating from time to time. There was a slight pause. “You going to be okay?”
He shrugged, “What’s the alternative?”
“It’ll get better,” I said, not that I believed my own words. It has to get better. We don’t actually deserve any of what we are being subjected to. David didn’t react to what I said. “Well,” I continued, “I best get back...I’ll see you tomorrow. You never know, Piers and his friends might not show up again...Could be scared you’ll get the teachers involved and they’ll be suspended.”
David shrugged. I turned to look at mum who was still sitting in the car. I could tell she was getting impatient but hated leaving David like this. I guess everyone has a breaking point and this must have been his. I don’t blame him.
I haven’t been here half as long as him and I’m already close to mine. I turned back to David to continue our conversation but he was already stepping in through his front door. Without so much of a goodbye he closed the door. Maybe he’ll be back to normal tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep?
I walked back to the car and climbed into the front seat, next to my mum.
“He seems quiet,” she said. I shot her a look.
