“God, you’re beautiful.” He let his own blanket join hers then picked her up and carried her to the bed. He let her slide down his fully aroused body as he set her on her feet. That was another part of him that was totally unlike Edgar. He’d been poorly endowed compared to Caleb who was long and thick. So much so she was a little intimidated.
“Caleb, I don’t know about this. You’re so much…more than Edgar was. What if you don’t fit?”
His head fell back and he whooped with laughter.
She tried to pull away. “Don’t laugh at me.”
He held her fast. “I’m not laughing at you but at your naiveté. Edgar was an idiot and it turns out he was not a well formed idiot. Trust me. We are going to be beautiful together.”
“I’m glad because so far this feels really good.” And it did. His chest was lightly covered with soft hair that tickled her nipples making them erect. She rubbed back and forth, loving the sensation.
“I would guess from your actions that Edgar had no chest hair either.”
“No, he didn’t. Looking at your body gives me great pleasure. I never felt pleasure of any kind with him. Only pain.” She looked away, not wanting him to see the guilt in her eyes. She was lacking, Edgar always made sure she knew that. Caleb was so handsome, she couldn’t imagine what he wanted with someone like her.
He nudged her chin with his finger. “Look at me.”
She turned and looked up at him. His eyes held no contempt, no criticism, only compassion, caring.
“You will never know pain again. I will always give you pleasure. Always.”
“I’ve never had pleasure coupling,” she admitted.
“Then let’s start your instruction.”
“I’d like that.” She wrapped her arms around his neck again. “I’d like that very much.” Taking the lead, filled with new confidence from his words, she pressed her lips to his and then ran her tongue along the seam of his lips until he opened for her. She plunged into his mouth and plundered and he let her. He helped her, twining his tongue with hers. Then he pulled back and kissed her gently, softly. He moved up and down her neck, his whiskers tickling as he kissed her senseless.
Each move he made stoked her. Each kiss warmed her and she melted at his touch.
“Make love to me. Now.”
“My pleasure.” He leaned her back on the bed and came down over her, bracing his weight on his elbows to keep from crushing her.
She closed her eyes out of habit. It was the only way she could endure Edgar’s groping.
“Maggie. Keep your eyes open. I want to see you. I want you to see me, not Edgar.”
She opened her eyes and looked up at him. “I’m sorry. It’s an old habit.”
“Never again. Remember?”
She nodded.
He kissed her lips, then her neck and the little hollow between her collar bones. Moving down her body, he kissed the tops of her breasts and then licked her in a single swipe down to her nipple which he sucked into his mouth.
She cried out at the sensations and arched her back holding his head to her. “Oh, God!”
Caleb lifted his head releasing her nipple. “Like that do you?”
“Yes,” she answered, out of breath.
“Then you’re going to love what’s coming up.” He bent his head and took her other nipple into his mouth while he rolled the first one between his fingers.
The pleasure traveled directly from her nipples to her core and she felt moisture between her legs.
Caleb kissed his way down her belly until he was there. At the junction of her thighs. At her private parts that ached for him. He stopped, looked up at her and grinned wickedly before plunging his face into her. He parted her nether lips with his fingers and found a place that sent her up and off the bed.
She’d never felt anything as amazing as what he was doing to her. An ache built in her, deep inside, building, building to something she wanted but was just out of her reach. “Caleb. Help me.”
He slid one finger, then two inside her. He scissored them up and down, then pulled them forward until he touched her on that spot that sent her flying. She bucked him, and yet held him, then she soared among the stars and called his name.
Licking her, softly, he removed his fingers but stayed with her until she quieted. She panted, her breasts heaving like she’d been working hard. Her legs relaxed next to his body.
“That was amazing.”
He chuckled. “Now we’re going to do it again.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I can survive it again.”
He worked his way up her body, kissing her until he reached her mouth. “Sure you can. You’ll see.”
She kissed him back amazed to find that the fires inside her were building again with each kiss he gave her. Grabbing his head she kissed him fully.
He pulled back and positioned himself at her entrance. “You’re prepared for me. Now see how well we fit.” With those words he pushed into her. She was slick and wet, ready for him. It had been a long time since she’d had sex, so she was tight, almost like she was a virgin again. Caleb took it slow. Let her get used to him. Let her stretch.
Sweat beaded on his brow. She knew he was going slow for her but she didn’t want slow. She wanted him in her, all the way now. Lifting herself she forced him further in.
“Maggie, stop I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not hurting me. Come into me. All the way.”
“If you’re sure,” he said as he pulled out and then slammed into her sliding all the way home.
“Yes, that’s wonderful,”
He began to move within her, slowly out almost all the way and then in, he built it, stoked her passion.
“Touch yourself,” he commanded.
“Me? I’ve never…,”
“Watch me, feel me,” he balanced himself on one arm and touched her with his fingers, rubbing that special spot she’d felt before. He stopped and put his weight on both arms, “now you do it.”
She reached down and felt herself, found the little nub that he’d been rubbing and circled her finger around it. “Oh my!”
He chuckled. “Like it?”
“Yes, it’s almost as good as when you did it.”
“Keep it up, sweetheart, we’re going on a ride now.”
He began to pump into her hard, touching her womb with each inward thrust while she rubbed her bud. The fire in her built to an inferno. The volcano she’d become was about to burst.
“Caleb,” she cried out.
“Now, sweet, now,” he stroked in hard, once, twice and then he shouted her name. She followed in short order, reaching the stars at the same time he did.
He collapsed on her, his breathing ragged. Hers was no better. She loved the feel of his weight on her. She wrapped her arms around him but her legs were lank at his side. She was spent. Two times. She’d had two amazing orgasms. Never in her life had she felt so alive and so exhausted.
Lifting himself off her, he rolled away and took her with him, tucking her into his side. She couldn’t help but notice that she fit perfectly like they were made for each other.
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. That was incredible. Do you still think we won’t fit together?”
“Oh, no. We are perfect,” she said before she caught herself.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. We are perfect. Marry me, Maggie.”
“I told you I can’t. That hasn’t changed just because we had sex.” She tried to pull away from him.
“No you don’t. I like you just where you are. I’m going to take advantage of you at every opportunity, hoping you’ll change your mind.”
“I won’t but you can try. As a matter of fact, I like it when you take advantage of me. Please continue to at your leisure.” She kissed his chest and forgot the reasons she told herself she couldn’t do this. It was wonderful and she would think of these times when she was back in New York.
Alone.
CHAPTER 6
They spent two nights at the cabin. It rained sheets all the first night and the road was too muddy to get up with the buggy the next day. She knew everyone would be worried about them. She was most concerned with Rachel. The sweet girl would be beside herself worrying about her papa.
Caleb kept her occupied making love and playing cards. Their clothes finally dried out but they didn’t put them on until they were getting ready to leave. Maggie found that it was quite freeing to go around naked for a couple of days. If it were just she and Caleb she might never wear clothes again. At least she’d never want him to wear them. His body was delightful to look at. All strong planes and lean lines, muscular without being bulky. Perfect as far as she was concerned. And the things he could do with that body, the things he had her doing. Just the thought made heat rush to her core.
“There you go again. Thinking about what we’ve done here the last two days,” he teased.
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“You blush, from your breasts to the top of your head. It’s quite lovely really, because I know that I’m the cause of that blush. And I’ll always know. When we get back home, I’ll know every time you think about us.” He took her in his arms, their clothes seeming to be such an encumbrance now. “I love that you think about us. That I can make you blush and that you smile at the same time. I’m going to miss this, miss our private time together.”
She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. Unwilling to let reality intrude just yet. “You’re just saying that because I beat you at poker.”
“I let you win.”
“You didn’t!”
“Alright, I didn’t. You caught on very quickly. Want to play one last game? We could bet our clothes. I know both of us will be the winner that way.”
She shook her head and stood away from him, already bereaved at the loss of his body from hers. She’d never get enough of him. Not if they had all the time in the world, which they didn’t.
“We need to get home. Rachel has got to be worried about her papa who hasn’t been home to read to her for two nights. Fran and Tom have probably got a search party out looking for us. No, we need to go back.” Back to reality, bleak reality.
Caleb nodded. “I suppose you’re right.” He looked around the shack. “Doesn’t look like we were ever here.”
They were mostly quiet on the ride back to the ranch. There wasn’t much to say. Caleb had tried to change her mind again and again, even going so far as to try withholding her orgasm. Nothing had worked. She was adamant. She wouldn’t give up her freedom and there was no reason for them to marry. They were good together in bed, but it wasn’t as if they loved each other. When she’d asked him if he loved her, he remained silent for a moment and then answered that he ‘cared’ for her.
“Maggie, I don’t know that I can love anyone like you want to be loved. Like you need to be loved. I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“What about Ruth?”
“I told you I cared for her, but I don’t believe that I ever loved her. At least not the way you mean. We were great friends. You and I could be that too, if you’d let us.”
“I want more than that. I want someone who loves me to distraction.”
“I know you do and I don’t deny you deserve it.”
“But you want me to settle for less? Less than what I deserve? Less than what I need? I had a loveless marriage. I won’t have another one.” She looked at the countryside as they passed. He didn’t dispute it or try anymore to change her mind.
In a few hours the ranch came into view. Two men on horseback came charging up the hill toward them.
“Hiya, Boss,” said one of the cowboys. “Tom was just sendin’ us up to check the western line shack. We done checked everywhere else we could think of to find you. What happened anyway?”
“We got caught in a thunderstorm and couldn’t get the buggy out of the valley until it dried up some. Nothin’ to worry about.”
“Good to have ya back. We’ll let Tom know.” The cowboys galloped away back toward the ranch.
They were still thirty minutes away from home. It was now or never. She had to tell him her decision.
“Caleb. I…I’ve come to a decision.”
“Sounds like I’m not going to like it so spit it out.”
“I’m going to go back to New York.” She clasped her hands in her lap so they wouldn’t shake. “I’m not doing any good staying here. For either of us.”
He slowed the team and turned toward her. “So it’s easier to run away than face the fact that we were made to be together?”
She heard the anger and the hurt in his voice. Did he perhaps care for her more than he admitted? It didn’t matter it wasn’t enough. She wanted all or nothing.
“Yes. It’s easier than staying here and having to face you everyday knowing you can never love me.” She loved him. It took all she had in her to remain strong and not settle for just his caring. She wanted so much more from him.
He nodded and turned back to the horses. He flicked the reins and got them moving at a good pace again. “When will you go?”
“I want to see Cassie and Robert married. It should be soon. Do you mind if I stay a little longer? I can leave right away if you’d rather.”
“Stay as long as you like.” His voice was flat. He was hurting. She knew that and would take it all back if there was even an inkling that he could love her more than just physically.
The last two days were magical.
“I wish we didn’t have to return to reality. I wish so many things.”
“So do I, Maggie. So do I.”
He kept his focus on the horses while she looked down at her hands, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall. It would do no good for him to know how much this affected her.
When they arrived back at the house, Caleb came around and helped her down, just as he always did. But this time, his hands didn’t linger, his gaze was distant and he couldn’t wait to get away from her.
“I’ll take the basket to the kitchen,” said Maggie, “so you can see to the horses.”
He nodded and got back into the buggy.
She didn’t blame him. What was there to say. How in the world was she going to stand this for another two or three weeks.
Rachel came running out of the house and threw herself at Maggie. “I was so worried when you and Papa didn’t come home. Why didn’t you come home?”
Maggie bent down and gave her a hug. “We got stuck in the rain. Then the road was so muddy we couldn’t get the buggy up the hill to get out of the valley. We would have come home if we could have. Your papa would never have you worry about him.”
“I know. I figured it was something like that but when you didn’t come home last night neither, I got worried.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. If we could have been home sooner we would have.”
Rachel hugged her. “I’m just glad you’re here now. It’s all better.”
Maggie closed her eyes and hugged the child to her. If only you knew how much better it’s not. How am I going to say goodbye to you? I love you so much.
She and Rachel walked hand in hand to the kitchen. Cassie and Fran were both there and started talking at once.
Holding up her hands, Maggie said, “Ladies. Ladies. Please. One at a time.”
Cassie and Fran looked at each other and then Cassie said, “Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick. Afraid that some accident befell you and Caleb.”
Maggie explained for what seemed like the umpteenth time what happened. Cassie and Fran looked at each other again and smiled.
“So…,” said Fran.
“So what?” answered Maggie.
“So what happened?”
“Nothing. We played cards.” And made love. At least for her it was love. He made such sweet, passionate love to her. It was nothing like Edgar who had looked upon it as his duty, not his pleasure. But Caleb der
ived only pleasure from it and gave her only pleasure back. That couldn’t happen if he didn’t love her, right?
She had a few weeks to change his mind. Could she?
“Now, Cassie, tell me what’s happening with you and Robert. Did he propose?”
“He did. Last night.” She held up her hand and there was a ring with a small diamond in it. “Isn’t it lovely? It was his mothers.”
“It’s beautiful,” said Maggie, taking the younger woman in her arms. “I’m so happy for you. What about you Fran? Have you and Tom set a date yet?”
“Actually we have. Cassie, Robert, Tom and I decided to make it a double wedding. Then we only have to have one party. Since it would be all the same people, it makes financial sense to do it this way.”
“Wonderful. When is the day?”
“Two weeks from Sunday,” said Fran.
“Oh my, there’s so much to do. We have to get dresses and arrange food,” said Maggie.
“We’ve already been talking about it. Since I sew better than Fran, I’m making the dresses and Fran is going to do all the cooking with the help of Maria.”
“And me?” asked Maggie.
“You get to do the decorating. We thought that Rachel could help,” said Cassie, smiling down at Rachel.
“I’m good at decoratin’. What’s decoratin’?” she asked looking up at Maggie.
All three women laughed.
* * *
Maggie was afraid Caleb might never talk to her again. The only time he did was to grunt one word answers usually ‘no’.
She was almost done milking the cow, having given Rachel the day off, when he came into the barn. She didn’t even look up, no need since he wouldn’t talk to her anyway.
Suddenly he was behind her, rubbing her back and neck like he used to. Her head dropped back and all the memories she held inside came flooding back.
“Caleb,” she whispered.
“Maggie. I’ve missed you.”
“And I you.”
“Come with me.” He helped her stand.
“Where are we going?”
“To the hay loft. For some privacy.”
She nodded and let him lead the way.
Once they were in the loft, he stopped and turned to her. “Are you sure? Don’t tease me about this, Maggie.” He gathered her in his arms. “I want this more than almost anything.”
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