by Corman, Ana
Dana was a little surprised by the question. She also felt pleased. She wondered if Ruth might be right about Catherine and Olivia’s feelings for each other, or at least Olivia’s feelings for Catherine.
“I think she’d be more than willing to talk to you, Olivia. And I think I know where you’ll find her.”
Olivia cautiously walked through the open doorway, feeling the slight resistance she always felt entering a place of worship. The front wall of mirrors reflected back the multitude of lit candles dancing to a rhythm of their own. A huge wooden cross adorned the area behind the alter with a white sheer fabric draped over its arms. The setting sun streamed through the floor-to-ceiling stained-glass windows illuminating the interior in greens and blues. Then she saw the figure in the first pew.
Catherine was alone, kneeling with her head bowed against her entwined hands. The stark light shone off her blond highlights and enveloped her slim frame. Olivia felt a peculiar tension in her chest as she absorbed Catherine’s distress.
She heard Catherine praying softly and felt like an intruder. Her first impulse was to run. Instead she felt herself pulled to this woman’s raw emotions. She walked to the front of the chapel and slipped into a pew a safe distance away across the aisle. Catherine’s thick dark eyelashes rested softly against her olive complexion. Her small nose and full, soft lips were silhouetted by the flickering candlelight. An exquisite teardrop diamond twinkled on her earlobe, and tears glistened on her cheeks. She looked up. They stared for a few seconds before Catherine dug into her purse for a tissue.
Olivia nervously cleared her throat. “Are you okay?”
Catherine dried her eyes. “I’m fine. This place tends to do this to me.” She rose from the pew and stepped into the aisle. “I’m sure you came to have a moment to yourself. I’ll leave you alone.”
“I’ve actually never been in the hospital chapel. Religion isn’t my strong suit. But your mother said I’d find you here.”
“My mother?”
“Yes. I called Cocoa Cream looking for you. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
Catherine looked down. “We don’t seem to do that very well, Dr. Carrington.”
“I know. I was hoping we could change that.”
Catherine turned in the aisle to face her. “Why?”
Olivia stretched her arm across the back of the pew. “Because I can’t get you off my mind, Ms. O’Grady. We may never see each other again after today, but for some reason it matters to me that I clear the air with you.”
Catherine was taken aback. She’d been trying all weekend to shake the physical draw she felt toward Olivia Carrington. Was the feeling mutual?
She slid tentatively into the end of the pew and crossed her legs. Olivia’s flowing dark hair framed her face beautifully as the light highlighted her high cheekbones and full lips. She was immaculately dressed in a black turtleneck and charcoal plaid slacks beneath her pristine white lab coat.
“You have my undivided attention.”
Olivia hesitated, struggling to find the right words. “I wanted to acknowledge that you’re right,” she said finally. “Every woman does deserve access to all the treatments available. I have some information on complementary therapies I wanted to offer you, as well as the current articles on alternative therapies to have on hand for your customers.” Catherine felt her defenses go back up. Was this why Olivia couldn’t get her off her mind, because of their argument on Friday? Because of her professional pride?
“I appreciate that.”
They sat for a moment awkwardly. She took a breath. “I can’t imagine doing the work you do, Olivia. What happened in your life that made you choose this career path?”
“My maternal grandmother died of breast cancer when I was fourteen. I was very close to her and it tore me apart to see the way she suffered. I promised her before she died that I would become a doctor and make things better for women diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ve worked very hard to keep that promise to her.”
Catherine’s heart went out to Olivia. She wished losing a loved one to cancer wasn’t something they shared. “I’m sure your grandmother is very proud of you.”
“She better be. I’m busting my butt every day for her.”
Catherine smiled. “Do you worry about your mother and yourself because of your grandmother’s cancer history?”
“My mammograms have all been clean. I have so many patients to worry about that I don’t have time to dwell on my own family history. As for my mother, I gave up worrying about her years ago.”
Catherine turned in the pew to face her directly. “What do you mean?”
“My mom and I aren’t very close.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I’d survive without my mother.”
“I envy the closeness you have with Dana. The only good thing about what happened with my mother is how close it brought me to my dad, Brady. He’s tremendous. And so is his partner, Austin. But that’s another story for another time.”
Catherine laughed. “It sounds like a good one.”
“It certainly made for some interesting dinnertime discussions on sexuality, especially when I was a teenager discovering my own path.”
“I bet they were very supportive when you told them you were attracted to women.”
Olivia leaned back slightly. “Am I that obvious?”
Catherine smiled. “No, you could never be a poster girl for the typical lesbian. But you did set off my gaydar.” She paused. “Did I set off yours?”
“Not in the slightest. I would never have known you were a lesbian. I have a very poor sense of picking out lesbians. But I had informants, my housemates Echo and Zoe. They were at the lecture yesterday. They’ve been to your bookstore.”
“The pregnant couple? I was wondering how you knew them.”
“We all met in college. We’ve lived together ever since, except the years Echo and I went our separate ways for our fellowships. Echo’s a cardiologist and did her fellowship in Boston. Zoe’s an amazing financial advisor. When we all landed back here in San Diego, we told Brady what we would all want in a dream home and he built it for us in Hillcrest. It’s a monstrosity of a house, but it’s home. It was his gift to all of us.” Olivia traced the seam on her slacks. “I love those two. They’re just like sisters to me.”
“They obviously care very much for you. I’ve noticed them in the bookstore. They make such a beautiful couple.”
“They truly are. They met when they were sixteen. They’re high school sweethearts and they’re going to celebrate their sixteenth anniversary this summer.”
“Wow. And now a baby.”
“They’ve been talking about having a baby for years and they finally went ahead with their plans. Zoe’s due in nine weeks.”
“They should write a book about their success. I would buy it for the bookstore. Heck, I’d like to know their secret myself.”
“Genuine love and respect. That’s what they tell people is their secret. Somehow I think great sex fits into that recipe somewhere as well. They’re always very open about that.”
“Good for them.” Catherine took a breath. “I’m really glad you came looking for me, Olivia.”
Olivia slid closer in the pew. “Why were you crying when I first walked in?”
Catherine stared down at her hands and balled the tissue in her fist. “I always come here to talk to my dad. I really miss him.”
Olivia reached over and gently squeezed her shoulder. That simple touch filled Catherine with a heat that flowed to places that had been untouched in two years. “I’m sorry about your dad. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with your mother’s breast cancer as well. I wish I could ease the worry you feel about your own health.”
Catherine struggled against the tears threatening to spill. “Well, you know how they say what won’t kill you will make you a better person. That seems to hold true in my family.”
Olivia watched Catherine carefully. “Thank you for staying and t
alking to me. I hate to leave, but I’ve got a few patients I still need to see this evening.”
“Thank you for coming to find me.”
Olivia slipped into the aisle. “Can I walk you out?”
“I think I’ll stay for a few minutes. I’d like to light some candles before I go.”
“Make sure you light a candle for all those good doctors battling the evils of cancer.”
“I will.”
Olivia smiled and headed out the door. Catherine leaned back and sighed heavily. “And I’ll light a candle for you, Dr. Olivia Carrington. I can only pray it will help me to understand why you walked into my life.”
Eight
OLIVIA BID HER RESIDENTS good night. It had been yet another chaotic day, and she felt the headache tugging at her temples. Ruth had been gone five full days now, and she was really feeling her absence.
She headed down the hall and checked her patient list one final time. She walked through the glass automatic doors and headed out into the cool evening air, stopping to listen to the rustling sound of the wind toying with the palm fronds. It was a beautiful March evening, as she admired the hilly expanse of San Diego sprawled below. Olivia wished she could be part of the traffic moving swiftly along Interstate 5. To the west, the brilliant orange sun was about to set into the Pacific Ocean. How her tired feet would love to feel that damp cool sand right now.
She inhaled deeply and headed across the walkway connecting the hospital to the adjacent medical building. She tucked her patient list into the pocket of her lab coat and squeezed her tired neck. It was already six-thirty; she had at least a couple of hours of desk work ahead of her and suddenly felt exhausted.
Stepping into an empty elevator, she leaned her head back against the cool wood paneling, closing her eyes for a moment before the elevator chimed its arrival at the fifth floor. She stepped off the elevator and unlocked the door to their office suite. The silence inside was blissful.
She headed into her office, grabbed a bottle of water from the bar fridge, and sunk into her cherry-red executive leather chair. She uncapped the bottle and took a deep swallow, then eyed the cordless phone on her desk. She’d resisted contacting Catherine for more than twenty-four hours. Surely that was enough. She reached for the phone.
“Thank you for calling Cocoa Cream. This is Catherine, how may I help you?”
“I was wondering if you carried the book How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie?”
Catherine laughed. “We sure do. It’s a classic. Shall I reserve one for you, Dr. Carrington?”
“Please. I thought I’d pick up some tips on how to draw people to me, rather than at me.”
“In that case, I’ll have it delivered overnight.” They both laughed. “How was your day, Olivia?”
“It was busy. I performed mastectomies on three women. I just finished checking on them and I’m happy to say that they’re all recovering comfortably.”
Catherine suddenly felt tense. She’d been pleased to hear Olivia’s voice, but instantly felt herself withdraw when the topic shifted to cancer. “You sound tired.”
“I’m beat. I just landed in my office. Tell me about your day at Cocoa Cream.”
“It was chaotically busy, though I think I prefer our kind of chaos to yours. We had a group of twenty-five third graders come in this afternoon as part of a Promote Reading Program. A local children’s author talked to them and read from her current book. And for the grand finale they watched a puppet show while we gave them drinks and snacks.”
“And here I thought you just had a coffee shop and bookstore. How come I never got to go on any cool school trips like that when I was in the third grade?”
“Did you even attend the third grade or did you just go from diapers to high school?”
“If I’d been fortunate enough to discover a bookstore like yours at that young impressionable age I just might have. However, I was just an average student. I went through each grade like every other normal kid and studied my brains out to get where I am today.”
“I’d have to see your report cards and survey your roommates to believe that, Olivia. An average student doesn’t become a surgical oncologist at your age.”
“Just like an average student doesn’t run such a successful bookstore and coffee shop at your age.”
“I’m thirty-five, Olivia. I was just very lucky to be able to purchase this place ten years ago with my parent’s financial help. My mom and I both believe our success is equal parts Irish luck, hard-working employees, and great location.”
“I don’t doubt any of that. But somehow I think the women behind Cocoa Cream are the keys to its success. Those are the thoughts of a woman a year wiser than you.”
“Well then, old wise one, you’re just going to have to step inside our doors and see if that statement’s true.”
“I’d love that.”
“Are you going to be able to head home soon?”
“Probably in a couple of hours. I have teaching rounds with the residents tomorrow so I need to finish preparing some case studies for them. We’ll be talking about the indications for mastectomies versus lumpectomies.”
Olivia was aware of the silence on the other end of the line. “Sounds very interesting,” Catherine said finally.
“You’re a terrible liar, Catherine. And I mean that as a compliment. Obviously what you’ve been through with your parents has left you deeply scared. Can I give you my cell phone number? I’d like to be there for you if you just need to talk.”
“It’s not that easy, Olivia. But I do appreciate your kindness.”
“I don’t sense that anything is easy about you, Catherine. Do you have a pen handy?”
“I do.”
Catherine scribbled down Olivia’s cell phone number, feeling a flush of excitement in spite of herself.
“I should go so I can get my work done,” Olivia said. “Good night, Catherine.”
“Goodbye, Olivia.”
Catherine hung up the phone and sat for a moment with her eyes closed.
“What was that all about?”
Catherine swiveled in her chair. “Laura, you scared me. I didn’t see you standing there.”
“That was obvious from the outset of your conversation. What did Dr. Olivia Carrington want?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out since I met her.” She leaned across the counter toward her friend. “She fascinates me and she scares me. She epitomizes the type of person I don’t want in my life. I run from cancer and Olivia lives and breathes it. I strive to live a modest life and I think she enjoys living on a grander scale. Those things set off red flags and I still find I’m replaying our conversations in my head over and over again. I just can’t seem to get her off my mind.”
Laura looked concerned. “It seems to me that the two of you clash more than you connect. Promise me that you’ll be careful.”
“I’m always careful, Laura. Mostly I want to keep her as a friend, and I’m hoping that’s what she’s looking for, too. I just wish she wasn’t so damn gorgeous.”
“If you want my opinion, I’d say Dr. Olivia Carrington is looking for more than friendship, and my best friend is the one who’s likely to get hurt.” Laura took a breath and glanced over her shoulder. “The last time I checked, the kids were sprawled in beanbags in the children’s section with their dad. Let’s go round them up and get out of here.”
Catherine rose from her chair. “You’re right. It’s time to go home.”
Catherine and Laura walked around the huge plaster Cat in the Hat and into the children’s section. Catherine stopped to pick up a fallen book. Laura knelt down behind Kevin and wrapped her arms around him. He had Amanda and Sean nestled in each arm and Harry Potter perched in his lap. He leaned back to give Laura a smacking kiss then continued reading.
Catherine felt a familiar tug in her gut every time she saw them together. She envied what Laura had and longed for a family of her own. She could only dream and
hope that one day she could fill that void. She slipped the book back on the shelf and took Amanda’s outstretched hand.
Nine
CATHERINE FINISHED RESTOCKING the Books on CD section and pushed her metal cart toward the storage room.
Dana emerged from the Cooking, Food, & Wine section. “If you’re heading back to the office can you take this book with you? The cover’s torn. I’ll send it back to the publisher.”
Catherine placed the book on her cart. “Consider it done. Is it lunchtime yet?”
“Sure feels like it. Give me fifteen minutes to finish straightening out this section and I’ll meet you in the office.”
“That’s a date.”
Catherine passed the Women’s Health aisle and saw an elderly woman holding a book in each hand with a perplexed look on her face. She parked the cart at the end of the aisle and carefully approached. The woman was reading the back cover of one of the books. “Are you finding everything you need?” Catherine asked.
The woman looked over her bifocals at Catherine’s name badge and smiled. “Actually, I never expected to find so many books on breast cancer. I’m a little overwhelmed by your selection.”
“I know what you mean. I’m continually shocked by the number of books written on the subject.” Feeling both drawn to this lovely woman and wanting to run, Catherine looked at the books the woman held. She touched the one in her right hand. “Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book is one of the best. I read it cover to cover when my mother was diagnosed five years ago. It was an excellent reference guide.”
“Is your mother all right?”
“She’s terrific. She has to be, because I could never run this bookstore without her. She had a lumpectomy and radiation therapy. We feel very thankful at how well she’s done.” Catherine extended her hand. “I’m Catherine. I own this blessed pile of books you’re trying to decide on.”
