‘Such a question does not deserve an answer, Kara.’ His jaw tensed, muscles working in his cheeks as he strove to keep a hold on his temper.
Perhaps it had been below the belt. But she was angry. Damned angry. She felt that it was only grudgingly that he was offering her the support she needed, for duty’s sake. She and the baby were a mistake that Blake wanted cleared up. She would have to take his help, of course—she would be a fool not to—but, oh, how she longed for him to have offered it straight from his heart.
‘The first thing we need to do is make a doctor’s appointment to get your condition confirmed.’
‘I don’t need it to be confirmed, Blake.’ She kept her eyes steady on his, challenging him.
‘But you still need to see a doctor. I wish to take care of you.’
He wished! Kara wished that she had never gone to Italy with him. It was turning out to be the biggest mistake she had ever made! What a fool to fall in love with her boss—a man who clearly had a heart of stone. It was the worst thing she had ever done. But he was throwing her a lifeline, and she would be an even bigger fool to turn it down. ‘Very well,’ she answered reluctantly.
‘Do you want to take some time off work?’
He was being so damned practical! All she wanted was his love! But that was an empty dream now. It would never happen. He was doing what he was doing because it was the right thing. ‘I would appreciate a few days. My mother’s not well. She’s been in hospital.’ She would love to tell him the reason why, but their relationship was clearly over. She would never share those secrets with Blake now.
‘Why didn’t you say?’ he asked at once, his eyes sharp with surprise. ‘You should not have come in under those circumstances.’
‘And have you thinking that I was being a coward? Not a chance, Blake.’ She saw the way his nostrils dilated, the flare in his eyes quickly disguised, and felt a grim sort of pleasure.
‘I’ll drive you home,’ he said. ‘You should be with her.’
Kara’s chin tilted. ‘There’s no need. I have my car.’
It was not until she’d left his office that Kara realised how badly she needed to breathe. She drew in deep lungfuls of air, closing her eyes and holding on to the edge of her desk as she felt her world swing on its axis. She did not see Blake follow her. Knew nothing until she felt an arm about her waist, her head pulled down on his shoulder.
‘I’m taking you home,’ he said firmly. ‘No arguments. You’re in no fit state to get behind the wheel.’
Thanks to you, she thought, wanting to pull free but unable to stop herself responding to his touch. Crazily, in spite of everything, she wanted to relax and let him take care of her. She wanted his strength to be her strength. It would be so easy. And yet so dangerous!
She sat silently beside him in the back of the car, hardly conscious of him issuing instructions to his driver. It was not until they reached her house, when Blake jumped out and made to walk up the path, that she spoke. ‘There’s no need for you to see me in. I’m—’
‘I believe there is,’ he said sharply. ‘Besides, I’d like to see your mother. To a degree I feel at fault. If there is anything I can do to help, then—’
‘We don’t need your help, Blake,’ she said with fierce determination, wanting to tell him the whole truth, confess the desperate situation they were in, but knowing it would do her no good. ‘All we want—all I want is to get on with my life.’
Blake’s eyes sparked determination. ‘You’re forgetting that I am a part of your life now.’
And trying to stop Blake when he had set his mind on something was like trying to hold a London double-decker bus up in the air single-handedly.
Lynne’s face was a picture when Blake followed Kara into the house. ‘Mrs Redman,’ he said immediately. ‘Kara tells me you’ve been in hospital. I trust you’re feeling better?’
Kara saw the surprise on her mother’s face and spoke quickly. ‘Blake says that I can take a few days off to look after you. Isn’t that good of him?’
Her parent looked from her to Blake and then back again. ‘Yes, it is. Thank you, Blake.’ But her words were stilted, and Kara knew that she did not mean them.
‘It is my pleasure,’ he answered.
‘I will take the rest of this week off, if that’s all right,’ said Kara quickly, anxious to get rid of him, out of her house and her life, so she could start the difficult task of moving on and getting over him—as if that would ever be possible! ‘But I will be at my desk first thing on Monday morning.’
Kara did not realise quite how tense she was until he had left, then she sank down on a chair and closed her eyes. But she soon snapped them open again when her mother spoke.
‘What have you told him?’
‘Nothing. Just that you’ve been in hospital. He didn’t ask why and I didn’t volunteer anything. You don’t really think I’d tell him about our money troubles?’
Lynne closed her eyes, and she was silent for so long that Kara began to feel worried. ‘Mum?’
‘Blake’s a good man, you know,’ Lynne said, looking at her daughter now.
Kara sighed. ‘I know. He’s promised to help, but I have a feeling that deep down inside he hates me now. I just know it. Me and this baby are going to be a complication in his life and he doesn’t like it. Oh, Mum, everything was going so well between us. I really thought my whole life was going to change. I’ve been such a fool.’
‘You have been no such thing, Kara,’ said Lynne, pulling her daughter into her arms. ‘Blake just needs time to get used to the idea of the baby.’
During the week that followed Kara tried to push Blake out of her mind—except that it was virtually impossible. The practical half of her hated him. The other half, the sentimental half, grieved that she might never see him again, might never be held in his arms or share his bed again. He had taught her what love was all about and she had embraced it with both arms—and now they were empty, and destined to remain that way.
The only person she would have to love would be her baby. Blake’s baby! The baby he didn’t want! He was going to take care of her welfare during her pregnancy, and hopefully later he would want to play a part in the baby’s life. But as far as she could see it would only be duty that kept him close. Commitment and marriage were anathema to him.
She’d half expected him to pay them a visit, or at least telephone to say that he had made her an appointment with a doctor, but she heard nothing. A whole week of nothing. And although her mother’s health improved, her own temper did not.
It was not until she arrived for work on Monday morning that Kara found out why he had not been in touch—and her heartbeat accelerated to such a degree that she felt sure it was not good for her.
Blake had been involved in a car accident a week earlier. He hadn’t been in the office since, and was now convalescing at home.
A week ago! The day he had left her house!
Kara’s heart went cold. Why hadn’t he told her? Wasn’t he well enough? Or did he think she had worries enough? Maybe she ought to go and see him? Or telephone him at least?
She was kept busy all day, but as soon as she got home she rang him. ‘Blake, it’s Kara. I’ve heard about your accident. Why didn’t you let me know?’
A few seconds went by before he spoke. A few worrying seconds. Was she doing the wrong thing, phoning him? Did Blake want nothing more to do with her now? Was that why he hadn’t told her about his accident?
‘I thought you had enough to contend with.’
Had he perhaps thought she wouldn’t care? Even hearing the sound of his voice sent a tingle through her body. ‘How are you?’
‘Recovering.’
‘Can I come and see you? No one seems to know exactly what your injuries are.’
There was a long pause before he answered. And when he did speak his voice was oddly quiet. ‘I’d like that.’
‘I’ll be there straight away—if that’s OK?’ It seemed important to her tha
t she should not wait. Though if she had stopped to ask herself why she would not have been able to give an answer. She ought not to care. But she did. She loved Blake despite everything, and she was concerned for him—she wanted to see for herself what his injuries were.
‘Only if you let me send my driver for you. I’m not sure your car will make the journey here and back.’
Kara smiled into the phone. Her car was so old that it was a wonder it hadn’t given up the ghost a long time ago.
When she arrived at Blake’s house she was let in by his housekeeper. ‘I’m warning you, Kara, he is not a good patient—he’s very grouchy. You’ll find him in his study. His injuries haven’t stopped him playing with his computer.’
Playing! What Kara saw on the screen as she entered the room was columns of figures. He was working.
Naturally. She might have known it would take a lot to keep Blake away from his work.
The moment she looked at him, the moment her eyes met his, Kara knew that it had been a mistake to come. No matter how she tried, she could not hate him. The love inside her flowed through her limbs like warm honey. All she wanted to do was go to him and feel his arms around her. She wanted back the man she had fallen in love with in Italy.
‘What happened, Blake?’ she asked quietly, walking towards him. Apart from some marks on his face she could see no other sign of injury.
‘I’m sure you don’t really want to know.’
‘Of course I do,’ she said at once. ‘I wouldn’t be here otherwise.’
Blake shook his head and closed his eyes, as if reliving the scene. ‘It was the night I last saw you. I couldn’t sleep. So I decided to take the car out—anywhere. I didn’t care. I drove too fast. But it was the drunken idiots in the other car who caused the accident. A head-on collision. I was lucky. I have five broken ribs as well as some pretty bad bruises.’
‘Five?’ she asked in horror. ‘Oh, Blake!’ Instinct made her go to him and rest her hand across his shoulder. She bowed her face to his and touched her lips to his cheek. ‘I’m sorry—so sorry.’
‘It was not your fault,’ he growled.
Kara felt that it was. ‘If you hadn’t been angry at me then you wouldn’t have driven so fast.’
‘Come here.’ He urged her down on his lap, his mouth seeking hers, and Kara did not have the strength to refuse him. Her blood burned hot and strong as his kiss deepened, and every thought that it was wrong to be allowing this after the way he had reacted to her pregnancy disappeared.
All she wanted was his kisses—his hot, hungry kisses. They did more than breathe life into her. They consumed her, made her totally his. Everything else was forgotten. This was the Blake she had known in Italy—the Blake who had taught her the pleasures of the flesh and the intimacy of loving someone.
She heard the soft noises emanating from the back of her throat, felt her body melt against him, and felt too the way he was losing hold. It seemed that his pain was forgotten as he devoured her mouth; all he wanted was to kiss her. And this was what she wanted too. She had missed the passion between them, the sensations that warmed and thrilled her, the knowledge that Blake found her desirable.
Without even realising what she was doing Kara twisted around so that she was straddling his legs, careful not to press against his chest. The look in his eyes was one she remembered well: the glazed look of a man filled with raw need over which he had no control.
She too felt as though she was drowning…swimming against a current too strong to fight. I love you, Blake. The words filled her head but she did not speak them—knew that she dared not. Instead she touched her hands to the sides of his face and this time she kissed him, allowing her tongue to explore the shape of his lips, the moist heat inside his mouth, finally touching her tongue to his.
Blake groaned, and his hands came behind her head so that he could take control. His kisses were fierce and deadly, filling her with an emotion that was almost too painful to bear. She needed to remember that this was pure sex. Nothing more. It did not mean that their relationship was back on.
‘Kara!’ He breathed her name. ‘Tell me I have been a fool to ever suspect you.’
Hope filled her. ‘You are a fool!’ she replied immediately.
‘I want to make love to you, Kara, but my ribs—they hurt too much.’
‘Then I will make love to you,’ she said.
Her heart beat fast as she slid to her knees and slowly unzipped him, releasing the fastening on his waistband and tugging his trousers down over his hips. His boxers followed, and she almost got up and ran when she saw how hard and ready he was for her.
But she couldn’t change her mind now. She had gone too far. And when she began to drop tiny kisses along his thighs, heading towards her target, his hands came down to touch her head, his fingers threading through her hair, holding her so tightly that she could not move even if she wanted to.
She chanced a glance at him and saw that his head had fallen back and his eyes were closed. He looked as though he was already in heaven. Sensing her looking at him, he lifted his lids and met her gaze head-on. ‘Don’t stop,’ he groaned, his eyes glazed with pure emotion.
He had taught her how to pleasure him like this and Kara took her time, exulting in the noises he made, in his involuntary movements. She felt herself growing closer to her own orgasm, and was afraid it might happen before Blake reached his. But it didn’t, and when he finally let go it was as though the earth had shifted beneath her feet too.
She stayed where she was, silent and fulfilled, while Blake’s hands held her head. It was a deep moment of togetherness.
Blake was not used to admitting that he was ever wrong. But he had been wrong even suspecting for one second that Kara would look at another man. If there was someone else she would not have been able to do what she had just done. She would not even have come here. She cared. It had been a gesture of love.
Love! The forbidden word.
Even before today, before she had arrived and selflessly put his needs before her own, he had berated himself. He had been judge and jury without all the facts, without any real evidence. It would be ungentlemanly of him now not to give her the benefit of the doubt.
‘I am sorry I misjudged you. I should have known that—’
Kara closed his lips with her finger. ‘Please, say no more. Don’t spoil the moment.’
In response he took the tips of her fingers into his mouth. ‘I’ve been a complete swine. Do you forgive me?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then will you stay a while and keep me company?’
Kara nodded.
‘I do not deserve you, Kara,’ Blake said, before capturing her head and kissing her.
In the days that followed Blake surprised himself by feeling more content than he ever had in his life. He was even beginning to think that against his better judgement he had fallen in love again—with Kara. His initial reservations about becoming a father were fading into the background.
And when he went with her to the obstetrician there was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to be a permanent part of their child’s life. He wanted to watch him grow every step of the way. He would play with him in a way his father never had.
And he wanted Kara beside him.
He was going to ask her to marry him.
CHAPTER TEN
KARA could not wait to get home and tell her mother how her appointment with the obstetrician had gone—how excited Blake had seemed. But the instant she walked into the house and saw her mother’s pale, worried face, the way that she was shaking uncontrollably, everything else went out of her head.
She crossed the room in seconds, her heart pounding. ‘What’s the matter?’ Her mother’s skin looked almost grey, and Kara feared that she was about to suffer a heart attack. ‘I’ll call the doctor.’
Her hand went towards the phone but her mother stopped her. ‘He’s been here.’
‘Again?’ She knew very well who her mother meant, and
her already fast heartbeat increased. ‘Why? What does he want now?’ His visits were becoming far too frequent for Kara’s peace of mind, and she was afraid that all the worry would affect her baby.
Lynne pulled a face. ‘He’s seen Blake coming and going more often lately. He knows he’s rich. He’s upping the payments again.’
When her mother mentioned by how much Kara gasped. ‘But that’s more than I earn. He can’t do that.
What did you tell him?’ She feared that their nightmare was never going to end.
‘That our circumstances haven’t changed. Not that he believed me.’
‘You shouldn’t have opened the door to him.’
‘I didn’t know it was him,’ said Lynne, her eyes pained. ‘I thought it was you and that you’d forgotten your keys. He shouldered his way in, Kara. I was terrified!’
‘We need to call the police,’ said Kara at once. ‘He can’t do this. It’s gone too far.’
‘The police can’t do anything, Kara,’ her mother said, fear evident in her voice. ‘The contract he has is legal, remember? He’ll deny using threats against us and it will be our word against his. But there might be a solution,’ she added, lifting her brows and looking at her hopefully. ‘You could ask Blake to lend us the money so we can be rid of him once and for all.’
‘Ask Blake?’ Kara closed her eyes and shook her head. Getting pregnant by him was embarrassing enough. To ask for money to solve their personal problems would be a step too far.
‘I feel so foolish for having let it get this far. And I hate that I have involved you. But I do not think my heart can stand much more.’
Tears filled Lynne’s eyes now, and Kara held her mother close. To ask Blake would be painful and humiliating in the extreme. And yet her mother was right. He was in a position to help. And then the loan shark wouldn’t be on their backs all the time, demanding payment. It would be a fair deal. They would know exactly where they stood. But it was still an awful lot to ask of him. He’d only just got over the shock of the baby.
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