Suddenly she couldn't take the silence between them, "Don't stay mad." She whispered.
"What?" He glanced at her for the first time that night.
"I'm not mad at you. I’m mad at me."
"For what?"
"For kissing you. I don't usually do something like that. It was really out of line."
She nodded. "It's okay. I understand. I didn't take it seriously, honest. It's just…well, don't laugh, but I haven't been kissed like that before. I probably didn't do it right." She told him.
He put the canteen down that he drank water from and looked at her.
"The first…are you kidding me?" his brows went together in a frown.
"No," she rushed to say. "It was the first. I'm sure I did it all wrong. I wasn't expecting you to…."
He came up to her now and looked into her face, she was red faced from embarrassment. "You've got to be close to seventeen, how could it possibly be the first time?"
She turned away from him. Now it was time to share things she supposed. How could she not, she had to explain herself.
When he suddenly understood he turned her to face him. "I didn't realize…"
"How could you?"
"But why…. you're a good looking girl…."
She sighed aloud, but she wanted him to understand. She scratched the dirt with her tennis shoe. How could she begin to tell him? "It's complicated." She nearly cried. "You see, when my father died…I-I turned sorta inward. They didn't come tell me. I was at school, and they didn't come tell me."
He came to stand in front of her. His eyes going serious.
"They announced over the intercom, my father was dead. And that's how I found out. And everyone was staring and all I could do was just sit there and cry. After that day, I closed everything and everyone out. Even my Mom sometimes. I was probably one of the most least noticed girls in school. Even on the bus here, I was negative. Until I saw how beautiful it was here, I ignored it. But when I saw the mountains and rocks and this waterfall, and all the beautiful animals in the forest. And the way you showed me how to appreciate all of this…what I'm trying to say is I've been very anti-social for a while now. No one liked me enough to even notice I was around. And I caused it all. I just couldn't face my father dying. I still can't. It hurts too much. I envied every one of the other kids because they had fathers. I resented them for it. I was so wrong. I blamed the world for what I'd lost. And it's kind of crazy, but I'm just now seeing what I did to myself."
Suddenly his face went very serious. "You are the one." He muttered.
"One what?"
"I remember that day clearly. They announced his death on the intercom. I couldn't believe they did that. Then I overheard a teacher saying no one had told you that he died until you heard it over the intercom. I couldn't believe their stupidity. I kept imagining your face, and how it must have hurt to be told that way."
"Yeah well, that was part of it too I guess. Everyone was staring and all of a sudden I couldn't see for the tears. I hid in the bathroom half the day. They didn't come and get me, they didn't say a word about it. It was like I wasn't there. So I decided to just curl up in a ball and stay there."
"My God. I'm so sorry." He said feeling her pain.
He pulled her against him and rested his chin on her head, "I'm so sorry." He whispered, kissing her temple. "I hadn't realized what was wrong. Now I understand you." He was hugging her, and holding her, and kissing her here and there.
"I don't deserve anyone's pity. I've been mean, and hateful and I've caused it all myself. Now that I see how ugly I've been, it makes me want to run away, or change schools or something. How can I ever take all of it back?"
He pulled away and looked her in the eyes. "You can't. But you can start being different. Like you are with me. You can start holding your head up and seeing what's in front of you. You're a beautiful young girl, with a lot to offer. I'm sorry about your father. I really am. I’m sorry how you found out too. I know that had to hurt."
She cried and absorbed his words.
"Look, I know…I know how you feel, because my mother…she's very sick…and I've been worried about her and my dad. I guess I haven't been the same either. Something like that hits you, it's hard to act natural."
She pulled away to look into his eyes. "But you aren't mean, or ugly. You've taken a different way than I. You've been helpful and generous with your knowledge and…. sweet."
"What you've been through, I might be the same way…"
"No, not you!" She smiled and looked into his face now. "You're very positive and such a good person. You won't be like me. You'll be strong for your father, I know it."
He stared down into her face, "I've never been able to talk to anyone about this before."
"You can talk to me all you want. I'll understand."
"You mean that?" He asked.
"Yes…" she smiled.
And then it happened again, he kissed her, so sweetly, so softly, and her heart turned over in her chest as she hung on, clinging to him. The kiss went on and on, and when they pulled apart he smiled down into her face, "Thank you."
Disappointment lingered. It was a thank you kiss. Nothing more. But she'd made a friend, a real friend and she would cherish that forever.
The next day, she got up and went to stand so she could look out over the water and the mountain. She'd never appreciated anything like this before. She saw the beauty here and it filled her with a peace she'd never known. "I do like it here, dad." She whispered. The sound of the falls was lulling and she watched the water in pure fascination. She loved it here. She really loved it.
A deer came up not far from where she was standing. It was a young doe, and she kept staring at her. "Oh you are so pretty. I wish I had your picture." She cried. The deer stared.
Then Billy came to stand behind her. He had her camera and he took a picture of her reaching out to the deer. "Your mother's gonna love this one."
She turned to see him and smiled.
"What do you see?" He asked softly.
She stood so still, as though the spell that had been weaving around her all morning took hold. "I see what my father would see, the beauty of it all. I feel so close to him, here. As though he's looking down on me and nodding, telling me how much I needed this trip. Does that sound silly?"
"No, it's pretty profound actually."
She turned with a smile. "My father loved the outdoors. He loved to camp and hike. He never took me, because I never wanted to go. But now I see what he did. And it's opened up a whole new world for me." She said turning around to find him so close. "I wish I'd have gone with him back then…."
Billy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him, kissing her temple. "And you made me see some things too. I've seen your courage."
"Courage, I've been a coward," she looked up at him, and her stomach made a strange squeeze.
"You aren't a coward. It takes courage to come out of your shell, you know. You are like a little turtle, you've been hiding your head in a shell all this time, and you've finally come out. That takes courage. And only a few will realize how much courage. It's got to be so tough losing a parent."
"I wish we could stay here longer. You know you said you'd ask me what I thought about this trip when it was over. Well, now I know, it's such a wonder. And I've grown to like it. I still don't like bugs, or snakes, but I love the views, and the animals in the forest. And I want to thank you for all you've done to show it to me. And I need to thank Mr. Peters for pairing me up with you. If had been anyone else, I doubt it would be even close to the same."
He turned her around, "We still have two more days to enjoy it. So let's not waste a moment of it, huh."
She nodded and they packed up. He showed her how to take the tent down and she jumped for joy when she did her side right.
"I can't believe I finally did it right. Wow!" She did a happy dance, and she saw the smile on his face.
He laughed.
The
y hiked with enthusiasm now and everything he pointed out, made her happy. She was so glad Billy was her partner. She knew when school started she'd miss him. Although they would go to the same school, he probably wouldn't have a thing to do with her after this trip. Right now he had no choice, but she was sure when the trip was over, their friendship would be too. And the sadness from that worried her.
She didn't dwell on that though. She thought about how she was going to be a better person from now and on and how she was going to appreciate her mother more too.
Billy had brought out all the positives in her and she didn't know how to thank him.
They went through Burro Pass and Slide Canyon, and Mule Pass, where they came to the campsite at Crown Lake. Here they camped for the night. This would be there last night on the trail. Tomorrow they headed back to Mono River Resort and Twin Lakes.
Their last night on the trail they were pensive, both of them.
She cleaned up the dishes and he took her hand and guided her out to a clearing so they could see the stars and the mountain. They sat down and cuddled together. It was intimate but she tried to make light of it. He was just being nice and although she loved it, she wouldn't make a big deal of it.
"Billy, I want to thank you for all you've done for me." She murmured as she stared out at the stars, twinkling above.
"Hey, I've learned a lot from you too." He added tightening his hold of her.
"You can come talk to me anytime you need to about your Mom and dad. I want you to know that."
"Is that all I can talk to you about?" He asked in a husky voice.
She almost turned to look at him, but she didn't want to break the spell. "Well, I'm not one to give out romantic advice…" She tried to chuckle and fell short.
"Well I don't know. You're kissing has gotten better and better." He laughed.
"Really," she looked up at his chin.
He nodded, and her lips touched his chin. "In fact, so good I don't think I'll need anyone else's."
She pulled up to look at him now.
"I think you could say you are my girl now…" He smiled into her shining eyes.
"Your…girl?" She gulped.
"Well aren't you?" He smiled.
"But I thought…I mean…"
"You talk to much honey. And this isn't a night for talking…" He pulled her closer so he could kiss her long and thoroughly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on. She felt herself going to butter in his arms.
When he pulled away he murmured, "You've got the sweetest kisses I've ever known."
"Oh Billy," she reached this time to kiss him and he cuddled her in his arms and locked onto the kiss with a fever.
When they came up for air several minutes later, he stared into her smiling face. "You're the only girl, I've ever asked to be my girl. I wanted you to know this…. the only one."
"Are you sure…I mean…really sure."
"Babe, you are the one thing I've been sure about since I saw you coming down the aisle of the bus at me, with that grumpy look on your face. I knew you so didn't want to be there. But there was just something about you that attracted me from the start. Don't ask me how I knew. I just did. You're the only one for me."
"How could I get so lucky?"
He smiled and held her close. "I don't know how I did, but I know we are going to have a terrific summer together and when school starts we'll be the best couple there. We'll date through high school, then we'll get engaged, and then after we both have jobs, we'll get married. We'll be a big family together and one day, we'll have our own. Because now that I've found you, I'll never let you go."
"Promise?" She asked breathlessly.
"That's a promise I intend to keep." He smiled and they snuggled until time to go to bed.
And she marveled on the way home on the bus at how she hadn't even missed her phone. She'd couldn't wait to tell her mother all the good news.
Billy's mother went into remission and life was good again. Billy and Kelly dated all through the summer and into his senior year.
Right after graduation, he proposed to Kelly and they got engaged. Three years later they were married with a baby on the way.
Kelly was on another hiking trip with her husband and two kids, when Billy started to kill the rabbit he caught for them to eat.
"No, no, daddy. Don't kill him." Little Tammy yelled.
Billy looked up at Kelly and smiled. "Or course not. You are so like your mother…" he laughed.
Later they stared at the stars together. "The kids love it out here." She told him.
"I know. I wasn't sure about Tammy but she's showing signs of being just like her mother. So cute." He laughed.
"I'm glad we are teaching them things they'll know for the rest of their lives. I'm glad they don't have their noses stuck in a cell phone or game." She smiled and kissed his chin.
"Yeah, your mother was right. And thanks to her, we are all here together." Their parents came out of their tents and had some coffee with them and they all watched the stars. Her mother came up to her, "You dad's smiling about now."
"Yes, Momma, I think he is…and so are we!"
The End
About the Author
I’m a professional writer of romance and children’s books. I’m also a poet and short story writer. I’m working on another historical western right now, one mid-grade book and just finished two historical westerns. You’ll find a lot of facts in my historical western romances not the run of the mill romances. Check them out.
I’m also a grandmother and great-grandmother who enjoys spending time with her family.
I hope you enjoy my books. Thank You and God Bless
Rita Hestand
Rita's Other Books
Young Adult Stories and Novella's
Off Limits
Don't Break My Heart
Temptation
Paroled On Love
Surprise Under the Mistletoe
Get a Life
(more to come)
Get a Life Page 4
