Locked In Love

by Louisa Line

  Steve: Morning beautiful. I hope you slept well.

  Me: Excellently, thank you. I’ve just woken up.

  Steve: It’s alright for some! Some of us, have been at work for over an hour already. Anyway, just wanted to say good morning. I had better get on the road to do my first delivery now I’m all loaded up.

  Me: Have a good day! I’m just going to grab a shower.

  Steve: You can’t say things like that over text. It’s not fair!

  This makes me smile so I decide to play along and flirt back.

  Me: Would it help if I promised to think about you while I was in there.

  Steve: I can see I’m going to have to watch you! Now, how am I meant to deliver Mrs. Greendales’ groceries? She is ninety four and doesn’t need to see me like this, with a bulge in my trousers!

  Me: Oh, Steve lol! You are so funny.

  I actually do laugh out load. Not only do I seem to have found an amazing guy who seems to get me and my condition, he is also incredibly funny.

  Steve: I’m not sure Mrs. Greendale will think the same when she sees the state of me. Now go get that shower before I change the destination on the satnav and end up at your place instead.

  Me: Stop it and go and deliver Mrs. Greendales’ groceries!

  I place my phone back on the bed as I make my way into the bathroom still smiling. I set the shower up, strip off and climb under it. My mind wanders back to the dream I was having before I was so rudely interrupted, but instead of getting annoyed I decide to finish the dream.

  I’ve kept myself busy all day with work and pottering around the house. I have avoided the window seat after my conversation with Claire last night but as I look over to the window again I feel a sudden urge to give her a call. I walk over to my phone and dial her number. It goes straight to voice mail which is unusual as Claire is always glued to her phone. I dial again but get the same response. OK, I’m not going to panic; there could be several reasons why Claire is not by her mobile even though she practically carries it with her everywhere. I try again and I’m met with the same answer phone message. I decide to try her home number and let it go to the eighth ring before a very weak and completely unrecognisable voice answers.

  “Hello,” she says.

  “Claire?” I guess.

  “Mmmm….”

  “Claire, are you OK?” I can feel the panic building in the pit of my stomach, something isn’t right and I’m at a loss as to what I can do to help.

  A crash sounds and the line goes silent.

  “Mmm…” The weak reply sends me into overdrive as instinct takes over.

  “Claire, I’m calling an ambulance, do you think you can make it to the door to let them in?” I feel helpless stuck hours away, but not only that, I’m stuck in my self-imposed prison.

  “OK,” is all I get down the line before it goes dead. I quickly dial ‘999’ and wait for the emergency response. Passing on the details, they advise that they will send a team out. I call Claire back hoping that she will pick up. It rings several times and as the line connects I let out the breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding.

  “Oh, thank goodness. Claire, an ambulance is on its way. Now stay on the phone till it gets there, hun, OK?” I try to keep my voice as even as I can, but inside I am falling apart. This is Claire, my rock. She has been through everything with me this past year and here I am helpless to do any more than call an ambulance. I just hope it’s enough.

  “K”

  “Claire, you need to try and stay with me hun, the ambulance will be there soon. What happened last night?”

  “Sick, so sick…”

  “That’s it Claire. Keep talking to me. It won’t be long now.” I really don’t know how I am sounding so calm when my insides feel like they are in a tumble dryer.

  “Jess?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “I’m scared.” With those two words my heart breaks and in my head I come to the decision that I am going to beat my condition so I am never left in this helpless, unbearable position again.

  “You’re fine hun, it’s just the illness; you’ll be fine once they get you sorted.”

  “It’s not that. I’m…” Claire doesn’t get to finish as I can hear the knock on the door and a mumbled voice that I can only assume is the paramedics.

  “You have to get the door now, hun, can you do that for me?”

  “Think so.” I hear movement on the other end of the line and groans of pain. It only takes a couple of minutes for her to get to the door but it seems like a lifetime. I hear the door open and then a crash as the phone drops to the floor. I can hear movement and mumbled words, but I am at a loss as to what is happening. I know I should hang up but I can’t. I want, no, I need, to make sure Claire is OK. It seems like hours, but in reality it is only a couple of minutes before the phone is picked up and I hear a female voice on the other end.

  “Hello, is this Jessica?”

  “Yes, yes, it is. Please tell me Claire is OK?”

  “She is in safe hands; did you call the ambulance?”

  “Yes, I was just so worried when she couldn’t reply properly. Is she OK? Please tell me she’s OK?

  “We are going to take her to the hospital to get checked over, but she is very dehydrated. I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you if you’re not a relative.”

  “No it’s OK, I understand. What hospital are you taking her to?” I note down the ladies reply, knowing I will never be able to get there. I thank her for all her help and hang up the phone. It’s then I allow myself to break down, as my legs give out and I collapse to the floor. I try to wipe the tears away with my hands but it’s pointless, so in the end I just let them flow.

  I must have been sat on the carpet for a while, as by the time the tears finally stop my legs have gone to sleep. I move my legs into a more comfortable position and rest my back against the sofa. I close my eyes and try to remember my breathing techniques; slowly, my breathing returns to normal and the boulders rumbling around in my stomach begin to settle. I try to move my legs to stand but the pins and needles make it impossible so I just shuffle them around trying to ease it. As my feet are coming around my phone starts to ring. I don’t think it even rings twice before I grab it and answer, hoping it’s Claire.

  “Hey beautiful, you OK?”

  “Oh hi, sorry, I was hoping you were someone else.” I suddenly catch what I’ve said and start to backtrack fast. “I didn’t mean it like that, it’s my friend,” I blurt out.

  “Jessica, slow down and tell me what’s happened.” I can hear the worry in his voice.

  “It’s my friend, Claire. I called her earlier and she didn’t answer, so I called again and she answered, but she wasn’t right so I called an ambulance and now she has been taken to the hospital and I have no way of knowing if she is OK and I’m really worried. Steve, she has helped me through so much. I don’t know what I would do without her.” It all comes out in such a rush that I hope Steve is able to follow me.

  “It’s OK, Jessica,” he replies in that voice that starts to calm me down.

  “I’m scared, Steve. What if it’s something serious? I can’t lose her.” I can feel the prickle behind my eyes as tears threaten to fall.

  “It’s OK, I’m on my way. I’ll be with you soon.” It takes me a second to process what he has just said.

  “Wait. What?” But it’s too late as the line is already dead.

  Ten minutes later and I’m walking around the house in a daze. I have a mixture of relief, fear, excitement, trepidation and everything in-between all rushing through me. I walk to the door and look through the peep hole and then move back to the sofa knowing he can’t get in without me buzzing him up, but still wondering if he is just going to appear at the other side of the door. I sit myself down on the sofa and start to try controlling my breathing as well as the shaking that hasn’t stopped since we hung up. Just as I think I may have made some progress, the intercom goes off and I’m back to square on
e. I go to get up, but I find myself glued to the sofa, terrified to move. I close my eyes and try to fight the demons causing havoc in my mind, but find the demons winning. I try to focus myself again and take a deep breath. As I do, my phone beeps with an incoming message. I grab the phone and see it’s from Steve.

  Steve: Jessica, I know you’re hurting right now and I can tell you’re scared, so I am going to lay all my cards on the table. I just want to hear your voice. I just want to know you’re OK, just let me up to your door.

  Reading his message makes me instantly calm down and I find myself able to move off the sofa and answer the intercom.

  “Hello,” quivers from my lips.

  “Oh, Jessica, it’s so good to hear your voice.” If only he knew how good it was to hear his. An instant shot of relief runs through my body and, as if by magic, I feel safer. I press the buzzer without thinking and move to the door, I place my hand on the handle instinctively and start to turn it before I catch myself and quickly move my hand away. I hear the familiar sound of the elevator and sink down to the floor with my back against the door.

  “Hey, beautiful, can you hear me? Now, don’t worry I’m going to stay out here and just talk to you, OK?” I can’t stop the tears that escape and slide down my cheek, but they are not sad tears. I don’t know if they are from relief or just sheer exhaustion from the events of the day.

  “Jessica?”

  “Sorry, yes, I’m here.” I pause briefly before I go on. “Thank you,” I say through sobs as the tears fall faster.

  “It’s OK, Jessica. Have you heard anything yet?” His voice sounds so caring it makes my heart beat faster and I realise that I must do all I can to keep this man.

  “No, and there is no point in calling the hospital as they won’t tell me anything as I’m not family.”

  “Tell me about her.” This makes me smile as I remember all the crazy things we had done together.

  “We met in secondary school. She was the ‘bad influence’ as my parents called her.” This makes me laugh. “She was always getting into trouble at school and subsequently getting me into trouble as well. Once she made us both bunk off school so we could go and dye our hair. Let’s just say it didn’t go well for us. I ended up with pink hair and got grounded for a month.”

  “Sounds like you were a right pair in school.” I can hear the smile in his voice and I realise that I have stopped crying and am also smiling for the first time in what seems like hours.

  “Like I say, she was a bad influence. So, what were you like at school?” I imagine him being on all the sports teams with his muscular frame and athletic look. This then gets me thinking about his arms and I end up biting my lip to stop myself from moaning.

  “You’re probably not going to believe this, but I was a bit of a geek. I was really into computers and loved science. I even carried around a briefcase. I thought it was cool.”

  “You didn’t!” I virtually shout in astonishment.

  “I’ll show you a picture some time and prove it to you.” This has me laughing as I try to imagine him nerdy.

  “That’s a lovely sound.” I stop and stare at the door in confusion.

  “What?” I ask curiously

  “Your laugh.”

  “Oh.” I think about my next words very carefully as I know that I am falling way too fast and I shouldn’t say the ‘L’ word yet but I could definitely say I like him a lot. But is it too soon to tell him? I lick my bottom lip as I build up the courage to say what I’m feeling. I’m never normally the one to talk about my feelings first, but Steve just makes it all so easy.

  “Steve, can I tell you something?”

  “Anything, beautiful”

  “I think I really like you.” I close my eyes and hold my breath as I wait to hear his response.

  “Well that’s good because…” The phone sat on the sofa suddenly beeps with an incoming message and as Steve is already outside my door it can only be one person.

  “I’ve got to get that,” I say as I jump up and run to the sofa. I grab it and swipe the screen to see the full message and breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see it’s from Claire.

  “It’s Claire!” I shout in the general direction of the door as I read her message.

  Claire: I’m so sorry I scared you and thank you so much. The sickness caused me to become dehydrated which is why I became confused and so tired. They have me on a drip and I’m feeling much better now. When they let me out I’m going to stay with my parents for a few days, but then I’m going to come down and spend some time with you. Thank you hunny xxx

  Me: You’re OK?

  Claire: Yes hun, I’m OK.”

  “She’s OK,” I shout to the door again and then remembering it’s a mobile I walk over with it and sit down by the door. “She’s going to be OK.”

  “Jessica that’s great news. What was wrong?”

  “She was dehydrated, I’m guessing from the bug she has had, she has been feeling ill for a few days.”

  “You did a great job, Jessica.” I smile as I realise that, in my own way, even though I couldn’t physically get to her, I helped her tonight and that makes me feel good.

  “I wish I could hug you right now.” I don’t know where the words come from but they are out of my mouth before I even have time to register it.

  “Jessica, place your hand on the door just below the letter box,” he replies calmly. I do as I’m asked. “Can you feel it? My hand is in the same place on the other side, just close your eyes and imagine we are holding hands.”

  I do as he asks and close my eyes, it’s strange but I can almost feel the electrical connection between the two hands despite the fact there is a two-inch piece of wood between us.

  “Jessica?”

  “Mmm?” I’m so caught up in the moment with my eyes closed I can’t face opening them or speaking and breaking the magic.

  “I didn’t get a chance to finish what I was going to say earlier.” I open my eyes and blink several times and rack my brain trying to remember what we had been talking about.

  “I think I really like you too.” I don’t know how to respond. My thoughts are going a hundred different ways and my mind can’t focus on any of them. I pinch myself wondering if today had all been a mixture of nightmares and dreams but all I end up doing is causing a red welt on my arm and a small yelp from my mouth.

  “Jessica, are you OK?”

  “Perfect,” I reply and for the first time in so long, I actually am.

  “Jessica, can I have a date with you tomorrow night?” What? He knows I can’t leave the house, what is he talking about? Suddenly my perfect moment starts to fall apart.

  “Before you start to panic, hear me out. I have an idea. I’ll come by tomorrow night with a Chinese. I’ll leave it outside your door and you can dish it up and we can be just like we are being now, only with food.”

  “Are you for real?” I’m beginning to believe this whole experience has been a dream. Surely this man can’t be real, surely, I can’t be this lucky. I hear a chuckle through the door just before I hear a staged ‘ouch.’

  “What was that?” I ask

  “I’m just pinching myself to check for you.” This makes me laugh out loud

  “Oh Steve,” I say out loud as I finish the thought in my head, ‘A girl could so easily fall for you’.

  “So, was that a yes?” he asks.

  “Yes, it’s a yes,” I reply

  “So, what time shall I come around?”

  “Are you working tomorrow?” I ask as having not done this for over a year I’m not really sure what is a good time for a date anymore.

  “I am. I finish at 6.”

  “Shall we say 8?” I ask

  “It’s a date! Are you OK now?” he asks, “It’s getting late and I’ve got to get my beauty sleep. I have a date with an amazing woman tomorrow and I want to be at my best for her.”

  “Well, if you have a date I had better let you go. I don’t want you to be off your gam
e,” I reply with a smile in my voice.

  “Until tomorrow night then, beautiful.”

  “I can’t wait.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way into the bedroom exhausted from the events of the day. I get myself changed and lay down on the bed and before I know it I am fast asleep.

  Monday 5th June

  I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing in the other room. I slowly stretch my arms up and make my way to the lounge to locate it. I find the phone by the door where I left it last night. I pick it up and answer it without really looking to see who it is.

  “Hello?”

  “Jessica.” I am so overjoyed to hear Claire’s voice that I almost drop the phone.

  “Claire! Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice. How are you feeling?” The sound of relief floods through my voice.

  “So much better. They’re letting me out today. I’ve got some anti sickness tablets to take and some extra vitamins and supplements but nothing more serious than that.” I’m not sure about the tone in her voice but I put it down to her still feeling under the weather.

  “That’s great. You still going to your parents?

  “Yes, I’ll be there for about 3 weeks. But then I’m coming down to be with you. Anyway, enough about me, what’s happening with you?” Part of me doesn’t want to tell her about my sort-of, kind-of date tonight, but since we tell each other everything I know I’m going to have to.

  “Well, I got together with Steve and we’re kind of having our first date tonight.”

  “What?” she exclaims, “You’ve let me carry on about nothing and you’ve been holding this information. Wait… What do you mean a date?”

  “Well, it was Steve’s suggestion. He is going to bring some food over and, OK, hear me out here. He is going to stay his side of the door and I’m going to be on mine and we’re just going to… I guess… get to know each other.”

  “Jessica, that’s great news. I am so happy for you. I knew things would start to improve soon. I just know things are going to change for the better for you.” I could tell she meant it as I could hear the excitement in her voice.

  “So, you don’t think it’s all a bit… silly?” I ask a little scared of the answer.