Locked In Love

by Louisa Line

  “What? No! I think it’s great! I’m so happy you have found someone.” I can hear her beginning to well-up and hope that they are happy tears.

  “It’s only a first date Claire, don’t get too excited!”

  “I’m not,” she replies with a sob, “I’m just so glad things are working out for you.” OK, so this is a little strange. Claire isn’t normally one to get all blubbery on me.

  “Thanks.” I’m not really sure how to respond to this new emotional Claire. Again, I put it down to her having not been well and possibly being over tired.

  “Oh, Jessica, I’ve got to go, the doctors are just doing their rounds and they are the ones that need to discharge me. I’ll ring when I get to my parents.”

  “OK Claire, take care.”

  “You too honey. Bye.”

  We hang up and I start to think about what I need to get done today. I have some work to finish off and an email to send to my employers, but then the rest of the day is free. I go back into the bedroom and get changed into a pair of leggings and an old t-shirt. Next I go into the kitchen and make some toast before I finally settle down in front of the laptop and get on with my work.

  After trying to work for about two hours on my report, I still don’t seem to be getting anywhere with it. My mind keeps wandering to the tall, dark, handsome delivery man that I’ll be having dinner with in a few hours. It’s strange, but I’m not feeling nervous or anxious at the moment, as it all still seems like a dream. I decide to stop for lunch and go to the kitchen to see what I’ve got. I’ve just found a tin of soup when I hear a beep from my phone in the other room. As it’s probably Claire telling me she’s been discharged or got to her parents I decide to leave it for now as my stomach is grumbling.

  By the time I have finished, I’ve heard my phone beep at least twice more which convinces me it’s Claire filling me in. I settle on cheese on toast with tomato soup and once it is cooked I wander back into the lounge with the intention of finishing up my report. As I sit down, my phone beeps yet again. I smile to myself and pick it up hoping for a distraction while I eat. I was right, the first three texts are all from Claire. One telling me she has been discharged. One telling me she is waiting for her parents and the last telling me she is going to be driven insane staying with her parents as they are already doing her head in. That one was from the back of her parent’s car.

  It’s the fourth text that catches my eye though and starts the fluttering in my stomach. It’s from Steve saying that he can’t wait for our date tonight. I start to type back and stop. Should I reply or am I going to come across as too needy? He did text first so surely it’s OK to reply. I am so out of touch with the rules of dating. I really don’t know what to do. I decide on just sending a smiley face, but as I press send I instantly regret it. I face plant into my hand as I consider all the other things that would have made more sense than a smiley face. When I look up I see the little dots indicating another text is coming through and I swear it feels like it is the longest time ever before the text comes in. He sends me back a winky face and with that I am completely lost, happy as a winky face must be good, but lost. I finish off my lunch and get back to my report in the hope that it will distract me for at least some of the afternoon. I have to admit, though, the temptation to send him another text is strong. I have to turn my phone over otherwise nothing will get done!

  By six I have finally finished my report and sent it off. I swear I’ve never taken so long over a report. I kept picking up and putting down my phone wanting to text him and ask about the winky face, but I kept saying to myself that I am not going to be one of those women. You know, the ones that are needy and always texting their boyfriends to find out where they are and what they are doing. It’s as I am having one of these moments that I realise I am still in my legging and t-shirt combo from this morning and decide I should get changed into something a little nicer. I rush into my bedroom and start grabbing outfits out of the wardrobe in an attempt to find something that makes me look half decent. Realisation dawns on me that I have brought no new clothes in over a year and I’m not happy with anything that I have. In a situation like this I would normally phone Claire but realise she needs to rest and I really shouldn’t be bothering her. I’m a big girl! I can figure this out! I have a look at the tops and skirts and decide a flared fifties style skirt is okay, but I have nothing to go with it. Next, I look at my dresses and I find a burgundy red skater dress that I used to wear all the time, but then quickly put it back realising it looks far too much like the dress I had on ‘that’ day, even though that dress has been gone for a long time. I binned it the week after, when I thought ‘that’ day had ruined my life. I put the thoughts of ‘that’ day to the back of my mind as I want nothing to ruin the good mood I am in. I search through my wardrobe further and find, at the very back, a little black dress that is laced on the top with a flared skirt section on the bottom and know this is the one to wear. I find a pair of black pumps and set about doing my hair and makeup. As I apply the red lipstick I take a look at myself in the mirror and can’t help but start laughing at the surreal situation. Here I am, dressing up as if I’m going on an actual date in reality, Steve is never even going to see me. By the time I have calmed myself down I start the lipstick application again as I am not happy with the way it looks. Once I have done this, I look up at the clock and as I do so, the intercom sounds.

  I take a deep breath, walk to the door and answer the intercom. Knowing who it is but trying to sound as sexy as I can.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello beautiful. Your dinner awaits.” I smile, even though I can feel the anxiety building in my stomach and moving throughout my body. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, trying to centre myself as I push the button to let him in. I quietly whisper to myself ‘I can do this, I can do this.’ I listen at the door for the elevator which seems to take forever and then I hear the footsteps approaching. I take a step back as I hear rustling from the other side of the door. I chant again as I hear the footsteps move away and the elevator doors open. It seems like no time at all before the intercom buzzes again.

  “All yours, beautiful.” His nickname for me is growing on me and whenever I hear it I can’t help but smile.

  “I’ll dish it up and leave yours outside the door. I don’t have any alcohol as I can’t drink on my tablets, but can I get you some juice or water?” I ask.

  “Water will be fine.”

  I check the peep hole to make sure no one is around and carefully open the door, still looking up and down the corridor to ensure it is empty. I have been caught out a few times with people being just out of view of the hole. I look down and see the bag of food from the local Chinese, but what seals the deal is the single red rose laying on top of the bag with a note attached. I pick up the rose and the food bag and take them into the flat. I sit the rose by the table and go into the kitchen to dish up the food. I open the bag and it smells delicious. I dish it up onto the two plates and then remember the cake I have in the fridge from the other day and make a mental note to offer it to Steve for dessert.

  I walk back to the door and do my normal check before I open the door and place the food into the hall. I then lift the intercom.

  “Dinner is served,” I announce. It’s then I remember the rose lying next to me, “Thank you for the rose it’s beautiful.” Suddenly I remember the note and quickly read it.

  I couldn’t find a flower as beautiful as you so I settled on this rose that even though is gorgeous, still pales in comparison. Xxx

  This makes me gasp and Steve hears it. I hadn’t realised I was still holding the intercom.

  “Everything OK?” Steve questions from the end of the line.

  “Everything is wonderful. Thank you again for the flower.” A tear rolls down my cheek. I realise though that it’s a happy tear and lift the flower up to smell it as I buzz Steve into the building.

  I quickly go over to the sofa and grab a cushion to sit on and make my way ba
ck to the door. I sit down with my back against it when I hear the elevator reach my floor, open and then the familiar footsteps heading my way. There is a shuffling sound which I assume is Steve getting comfortable.

  “I’m glad you like the flower,” I hear from the other side of the door.

  “I do. But I also love Chinese, so let’s eat before it gets cold,” I say as I shovel a fork full of Chinese food into my mouth and let out a moan of pleasure. I hear a cough come from the other side of the door.

  “Jessica.”

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t make noises like that while there is a door between us.” It takes me a second before I realise what he is saying. When I do I can feel the hot flush creeping up my neck onto my face.

  “I’m sorry,” I reply but I don’t really mean it. It’s kind of nice to know I can make a man feel that way.

  “So how was your day?” He asks. “Any news on your friend?”

  The first thing I notice is how he has remembered the events of the past few days, which I have to admit not even half of my exes would have done. The second thing I notice is that he sounds genuine, like he really does want to know how my day was.

  “Not bad. Claire is good, thanks for asking. She was released this afternoon and is staying with her parents for a while. How was your day?” I reply.

  “Oh, you know, drove around for a bit then tried to deliver some groceries to this lovely little old lady but was distracted by a conversation I had with a sexy woman, so had to drive around a little more before I could deliver her food. It nearly made me late. And I always deliver.” Again, I find myself blushing, but decide to play along.

  “And who is the woman that got you all flustered?” I ask trying to sound as innocent as possible but not being able to disguise my laughter, “Should I be worried?”

  “Only if she tries to bake me cookies again,” he replies, which has us both laughing.

  The evening is going wonderfully and we have been talking nonstop throughout the entire meal. It is over with far too soon though since we are both too full for dessert and I find myself wishing I could prolong it.

  “Would you like a coffee?” I ask in the hopes of keeping the evening going.

  “I would love one,” he replies.

  Without thinking, I rush off into the kitchen to make the coffees. As the kettle boils I pour two cups and go back into the hall to the door.

  “Oh,” I gasp, “I didn’t think this through.”

  “It’s OK, Jessica. I’ll go and wait in the stairwell while you put the cup out.” I hear movement and instantly feel guilty.

  “No, wait!” It’s out before I really know where I am going with this, but I know that he has been so sweet all evening that I don’t want to put him out anymore. It’s bad enough I have made him sit outside my door all night, without making him leave and come back just for a cup of coffee.

  “I don’t mind…” He starts but I don’t let him finish.

  “No. It’s OK. I can do this. I can open the door. Just please don’t move.”

  “Jessica…” He sounds worried.

  “I want to do this Steve. I need to do this,” I say with determination in my voice.

  “OK, I have an idea. Hear me out,” Steve replies, “close your eyes and put your hand on the door handle. I’ll keep quiet. All you need to do is hold the cup out and I’ll take it from there. Just pretend there is no one here.”

  “OK,” I reply taking a deep breath. I place my hand on the door handle and close my eyes. I try to centre myself like I have been shown but find my anxiety building.

  “I ….” I begin but I don’t really know what I am going to say.

  I close my eyes again and I try once more. “I can do this,” I say with as much conviction as I can manage. I feel my hand beginning to turn the handle as my heart rate increases and my hand starts to shake so much I’m scared I might spill all the liquid. I place it down on the side and shake out my hands. I pick up the cup, close my eyes and place my hand on the handle again and this time, slowly start to turn it. It turns and I pull the door inwards as I take in long, slow breaths to calm myself down. I hold out the cup and wait in anticipation for it to leave my hand. As I wait, I feel the softest of touches across my hand as the cup is taken from me and I take a quick intake of breath as energy from the touch ignites my entire body. It feels so good I forget I am standing here with the door open. I bite my lip as a thought comes into my head.

  “Steve,” I say in a whispered breath.

  “Yes,” he replies. I can hear in his voice that he is as affected by this briefest of touches that we have shared as I am.

  “Kiss me. Please?” I ask as I tighten my eyes to stop me seeing anything.

  Time seems to stand still as I wait and I begin to wonder if I have read the signs all wrong, then just as it begins to feel a little uncomfortable I feel the lightest of touches across my lips which sets my whole body on fire. I want so much to open my eyes, but am scared that this moment will be ruined by my anxiety.

  “It’s OK Jessica, at your own pace. Go back inside now.” I follow his instructions and keep my eyes firmly shut until the door is closed once again.

  “Jessica? You OK?” Steve asks through the door.

  “Perfect,” I reply as I place my fingers up to my lips as I can still feel his touch.

  “Jessica?”

  “Yes.”

  “I really like you.”

  I don’t think I have smiled this much ever as my heart skips a beat at his words. I’m not sure how to reply as saying I feel the same just seems lame after his declaration, but it’s all I have. Before I come up with a reply Steve talks again.

  “I’d really like to do this again, Jessica.” My mind instantly thinks of the kiss and my body starts to respond wanting more of his touches and kisses. I feel like I’m on fire and know that there is only one person who can put it out, but we are separated by a two-inch-thick door.

  “Tell me we can do this again, Jessica. You need to talk to me, beautiful.” Oh crap, I hadn’t realised I hadn’t replied to him. I was too busy thinking about what else I would like him to do to me.

  “Sorry. Yes! Yes! I would love to do this again.”

  “How are you set for tomorrow night?” he asks.

  “Tomorrow night is good.”

  “Till tomorrow night then. I’ll be thinking of you.”

  “Me too,” I reply in a voice that doesn’t sound like mine, it sounds far too sultry and sexy. I hear a chuckle through the door as I hear the cup being placed on the floor. I look over at my own cup that has been forgotten.

  “Night beautiful, sleep well.” Before I can reply I hear footsteps walking down the hall and the elevator door open. I rush over to the window to see him exit the building and walk down the street and around the corner. Just before he is out of view he turns and looks up at the window. I move away not wanting him to think I am spying on him, but I am sure there is a smile on his face as he turns and walks out of view.

  I’ve been tidying up in the kitchen for about half an hour and have managed to put the left overs away and clean up after the date. I’ve washed up, but suddenly come over feeling very tired so I decide to call it a night and go to bed. I make my way into the bedroom, having picked up my phone as I passed it. I look at the time and realise that it’s gone midnight, so I am not surprised at how tired I am feeling. It then hits me that I never replied to Steve’s declaration. I open my messages as I sit on the bed and contemplate how to write what I want to say.

  I’ve been sat on my bed for nearly twenty minutes and still I’m not totally sure what I want to write. I must have started the message about ten times but every time I do I realise that it doesn’t say what I want it to say. I decide to just go with what my heart wants to say and quickly write the message and press send before I have time to think about it too much and delete it again.

  Me: I know I really like you too.

  I sit and stare at my phone wait
ing to see if there is a reply and have to admit I am a little disappointed when the little dots don’t appear. I know I’m being stupid so I go into the bathroom and start to get myself ready for bed. I’ve been in the bathroom around five minutes when I think I hear a sound coming from the bedroom. I turn off the shower I have just started and wander back to the bed to see that my phone is ringing. What I wasn’t prepared for was the name that appeared on the screen.

  “Hey beautiful, I know I’m going to be seeing you again in a few hours, but I was just thinking of you when your text came in. So, what are you up to?”

  I never realised you could be addicted to someone in such a short amount of time, but as soon as I hear his voice I am instantly overcome with joy and maybe just a little lust.

  “Well, you may have just stopped me having my shower,” I say with a smile hoping this may go in a certain direction. I’m not disappointed when I hear the small groan come from the other end of the line.

  “Jessica, you can’t say that.”

  “What?” I ask as innocently as possible.

  “If you only knew what you do to me!” he growls.

  If I do half as much to him as he does to me! I know I’m playing with fire, but before ‘that’ day I had always been a bit of a flirt and it feels good to be getting some of my old self back.

  “Why don’t you tell me?” I ask, biting my lip to stop my own groan since my entire body has gone into overdrive.

  “Mmm, Jessica, are you sure you’re ready for this, I don’t…” I don’t let him finish. He needs to know that he has the same effect on me.

  “I’m sure,” is all I reply. The line is silent for a while before I hear a heavy breath just before Steve speaks again.

  “What are you wearing Jessica?”

  I contemplate telling him the truth for maybe a second before I decide that my tatty t-shirt possibly wouldn’t have the right effect.

  “A towel.” I bite my lip as I speak, feeling a tingle move down my body and between my legs.

  “Take it off!” he instructs. I take a sharp intake of breath, but do as I’m asked, removing my clothes, “Have you done it?” I nod my head until I realise he can’t see me.