Joss’s scent cut through it all. Her shock drove a sharp spike into his senses. Sour fear followed right on its heels and ripped Hunter apart.
He released Andre roughly and stumbled back several steps.
He’d been baited into acting like an idiot. The smirk on Andre’s face said as much.
He whirled to Joss. He could see her shutting down and it made him want to roar with rage and anguish.
He’d done what she feared. Only he hadn’t been a child when he snapped. He should have known better, should have had more control. Instead, he let his bear carry him away full of anger and jealousy all over again.
He reached for her. “Joss,” he croaked.
Joss took a step back, caution flaring in her scent. The quiver of her lower lip punched him in the gut. The growing pit in his stomach dragged his arm down.
Judah and one of his officers slammed through the grocery store doors, their focus immediately drawn to his destruction.
Fucking small town. Couldn’t go more than ten feet without tripping over a lawman. Hunter snarled. At them, at Andre, at himself.
“Hunter, let’s keep calm, okay?” Judah said, hands raised. “We need to take you in.”
Too many eyes watched him. Human, shifter, didn’t matter. The only ones that mattered belonged to Joss.
Everything he wanted to be for her burned up in smoke. She saw the real him. The monster. The man with a core filled with rot.
Darkness lurked inside him. It’d always been there, and no amount of pretending would make it go away. Joss eased some of it, but she couldn’t erase it completely. Nothing could quiet the anger bubbling away in his veins.
He’d fooled himself when he thought he could be a good mate to her. All it would take was one bad day, one unexpected shock, and he’d fall back into violent misdeeds. Andre was proof of that.
Better to cut ties now when it was just silly jokes and amazing sex. She could rebuild her life without him tearing down the walls around her. He could deal with his self-loathing knowing he wasn’t pulling her into the darkness with him.
He didn’t fight Judah slapping cuffs on his hands and perp-walking him out of the store.
“Go home, Joss,” he said as he passed. “Stay there.”
She could hate him all she wanted, but the need to see her safe still overrode every cell in his body.
He’d be damned if he let Andre’s threats become a reality.
Chapter 17
When the last guest stomped up the stairs after a final nightcap, Joss sank into the nearest couch. The afternoon had been brutal and she just wanted a moment to feel the weight of the revelations. That’d been impossible with guests buzzing around with various requests.
Her badger had insisted on listening to Hunter with an intensity that still made her feel sick at the idea of leaving the ranch. She’d stumbled out of the grocery store under the gaze of what felt like the entire town. She’d parked in front of Black Claw’s main house before she even realized she’d returned empty-handed.
Alone at last, she could finally sort through the rush of fear she’d experienced in the store. Her stomach roiled with her discomfort and a not-so-small part of her insisted it was caused by being parted from Hunter. Crazy. Absolutely insane. No woman in her right mind would want a man who flipped so easily from laughter and jokes to beating on someone in the middle of the produce section.
She’d known shifters could be violent. She had a nasty streak herself, sometimes. The difference was she had enough sense to not start fighting in a store filled with people.
Except she’d turned into a nasty little badger the moment Joyce yanked on her hair and screamed obscenities at her, on her very first day of employment no less.
Her badger growled in disagreement. One flashed image followed another like a stuttered replay. Joss gasped.
A sending. A real, true one. Not the vague impressions she sometimes understood. Those images were what every other shifter experienced from their inner animal. The ones not broken, anyway.
The screamed curse words weren’t the focus. No, her badger shoved the still frames of possessiveness at her. Joyce wanted to claim Hunter when the man belonged to them.
Joss shook her head and dragged down a shuddering breath. No. Not hers.
More images raised the fine hairs all over her body. Hunter snapped when that other man—Andre—made his threats and punctuated them with a knuckle dragged down her cheek.
The memory of that touch spiked a wave of nausea in her. Of the two, she wasn’t sure if Hunter or Andre was more dangerous.
Was she so different? She’d gotten blood on her teeth when someone tried to hurt Hunter. He’d done the same for her.
Except, the earlier scars were all him.
Tansey collapsed next to her and pulled her from her thoughts. She rolled her head along the back of the couch to meet her eyes. “You ready for tomorrow?”
Joss nodded, grateful for the distraction. Her inner animal still made noises deep in her head, but the strong images had faded into the simple impressions she was used to experiencing. Hunter. The little beast wanted Hunter. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Stay here.” She sprang to her feet and rushed from the room, then returned a moment later with a plastic bin. Glass bottles clanked together when she shook it in Joss’s direction. “Mani and movie night starts now.”
“Tansey,” Joss groaned. “I don’t know if I’m up for that.”
“Bullshit. You look drawn and haggard with worry. No matter how many sheep you count, I doubt you’ll get to sleep anytime soon. We’ll do our nails, watch some terrible comedy, and talk this out. Boss’s orders.”
“You play the boss card too often,” Joss grumbled with a small smile. There was no putting Tansey off when she wanted something.
Tansey didn’t even have the grace to look guilty. She simply shrugged, then dumped the bottles of polish on a table between two couches. She pressed some buttons on a remote control and restarted a movie a guest had played earlier. “We’re catering a fancy event. It’s our duty to look our best.”
Joss slid to the floor across from her. “And so we shall. Painted claws and perfectly presented dishes and all.”
“That’s the spirit.”
Joss winced. Hunter turned the phrase into a joke. Her heart ached and her head reeled with her internal denial of how much she wanted him.
He was bad news for her. Craving him wasn’t the smart choice. She’d already been burned once by a man she thought wouldn’t hurt her. Picking a man who would surely do the same was asking for another broken heart.
Too bad she already felt sick in her heart.
Another stray thought, another rustle of importance from her badger. Hunter.
“You’ve never once complained about this being a wedding,” Tansey murmured with a frown at the first messy coat of polish.
Joss reached across the table and steadied her friend’s hand. She dunked the applicator into the color, wiped off the excess, and carefully spread it over Tansey’s nail. “I’m happy for them. And for you. And everyone else that finds love. I hope it sticks.”
“I hope that for you, too,” Tansey said quietly.
They circled closer to The Topic. Hunter’s absence hadn’t gone unnoticed and it only took one phone call from the police department to have the rest of the Black Claw clan buzzing with gossip and shooting her questioning looks. She’d never been so grateful for work than that afternoon. The guests kept most of the questions at bay.
With them tucked into their beds, Joss had no protections.
The emotion of the day rushed up on her. Questions and worry and fear piled up on top of each other until she didn’t know how to begin sorting them out. She felt like she’d tried to bite off more than she could chew, and was now stuck with full cheeks and a sense of impending, choking doom.
“I came here to figure out who I am. What I am, I guess. I thought I was getting close. I understood my badger a littl
e better. But after today, I’m not sure I’m any closer to feeling like I belong than when I was doing everything possible to pretend I was normal.” She shrugged. “So now I’m stranded. I feel like I’m on the outside no matter where I go.”
And the one man who made that feeling go away? He was full of fury. He’d committed terrible acts that she worried herself raw over the possibility of doing herself, and when she’d voiced those concerns, didn’t say a word.
He hid his past well, which bothered her like an itch she couldn’t reach or a bruise she kept poking. If he could bottle up all the rage she saw twisting his features, what else could he keep hidden from her? How would she suffer for it?
He’d lied. By omission, but that still counted in her book.
“That man, the one he beat up…” she started. “Hunter hurt him. In the past, I mean. Then he implied he’d do the same to me.”
“So he was protecting you.”
“Or fighting for himself.” To the Joss that lived her life with giant walls caging herself in, both options were terrible. To the Joss that wanted to thrive in Bearden, she appreciated someone having her back and willing to do anything for her.
Heck, maybe even the caged version of herself liked the idea. She wanted to be picked, didn’t she? If he’d brawl for her safety in a grocery store, she bet he’d tell anyone trying to lure him away with money to shove it where the sun didn’t shine.
“I can’t tell you this is an easy life. Or a peaceful one.” Tansey shook her head and stared into empty space. The air thickened with unease. “People are capable of terrible things, no matter what powers they possess. What I can say is that finding your people, the ones who truly care, is worth every bloody step on the path there.”
The front door opened, and both whipped their heads to see Ethan standing in the entryway.
Joss inhaled. Crisp happiness, thicker desire, and something almost… golden radiated off Tansey as she locked eyes with her mate. Joss ducked her head to hide her smile. Love. She smelled love. They might not have said the words, but the emotion was strong between them. “When you know, you know, huh?”
Tansey nodded. “Exactly.”
Ethan canted his head. Tansey met his eyes and exchanged an entire, silent conversation with her mate.
“Hunter is bailed out. I ordered him back to his place.” He settled his gaze on Joss. “I figured a little distance was needed for now.”
“Thank you,” she muttered.
“I think that’s my cue.” Tansey pushed to her feet and held out her hands. “Thanks for this, Joss. These look great.”
“Anytime.” She stood, too, and then wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Her mind still raced a thousand miles a minute, and she was no closer to finding any peace. Son of a biscuit, she wished the world would just stop throwing her curveballs. “I think I’ll stay up a bit longer. Maybe get some fresh air.”
After polite sounds, Tansey and Ethan retreated to their bedroom and left her alone. The room felt too big and empty without anyone else, so she slipped through the front door and out onto the porch. She wanted to put her troubles in their place by making them small against the backdrop of the sky overhead, just like Hunter taught her. Fitting that she needed his trick when the trouble stemmed from him in the first place.
Calm rolled over her even before she picked up his scent. Leather and rain twisted together and stripped away the ache in her heart.
“Joss,” Hunter drawled.
Every cell in her body responded to his deep, silky tone. His voice was made for whispers between lovers.
She scuffed her shoe against the wood underfoot and tried to keep a lid on her bubbling excitement. “What are you doing here? Ethan said he ordered you away.”
“Ethan ordered me not to come into the house tonight. He didn’t say anything about sitting out here.” The wry grin quickly slipped into a serious mask. “I wanted to talk to you. Explain.”
“You don’t need to explain anything.”
“I do. You deserve to know everything.” He raised his hands. Anguish churned in his eyes. “And not because I want forgiveness or to move past this. I mean, I do. I’m a selfish prick who wants you to stay in my life. Keeping anything from you doesn’t feel right.”
“That’s not necessary,” she said again. Her badger urged her to go to him and ease the hurt they both carried. His, hers, both could be erased with a simple touch.
Not happening.
“Well, humor me.” He scooted to the side and patted the empty seat next to him.
She took a seat as far from him as possible, then sat on her hands for good measure. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”
He launched into the story of how he’d been blinded by love, a common theme throughout his adult life. He’d come home and found his girlfriend in another man’s arms. His bear took control and snapped his judgment and control.
One second changed the trajectory of his life.
James became Hunter, and that was that.
“I regret what I did to Andre back then,” he rumbled. “I don’t even know if she told him she was living with someone else. He was only one half of the problem.”
One bad move pushed her on a different path.
She was a Rhodes, then she went back to being a Warren.
“I don’t regret what I did today. He threatened you, Joss.” He rubbed a hand over his heart. Fire flashed in his eyes. “Instinct demands I keep you safe. I’ll do that. I won’t let him hurt you. I won’t let him get near you.”
Fierce man. Protective man. Her badger danced through her head at their good fortune in finding a man so strong and worthy.
Joss wasn’t so easily convinced. She pressed her lips into a thin line. “I didn’t want any part of this.”
“I know. I’m sorry I made you a target.” His throat bobbed with a hard swallow.
“Am I? A target?” Oh heck, the words felt too familiar. Target. Danger. She’d faced that when her name went on the shifter registry. Bearden was supposed to be free of that, or at least give her a little more cover being surrounded by her own kind. “Is he going to come after me?”
A growl worked in Hunter’s chest. “Not if I have a say.”
Joss blew out a breath. “I don’t even know what to call you now. Are you James, or Hunter?”
“Hunter. I’m more comfortable as Hunter these days than I ever was as James.” His sigh rasped between them. “James was my father’s middle name. My mother always said if she’d had another son, she’d have named him Hunter.”
“You lied to me. I hate that.” Her badger scolded her, but she kicked the beast to the back of her head. She had to trust when to listen to that part of her and when to ignore it. Right then, she was mad and hurt and scared. Wanting to jump the man’s bones didn’t chill those simmering emotions.
Something snaked inside her. The undulating unease felt icky and she couldn’t help but compare Hunter to Cal, not so much in their actions, but her response to them. She’d let Cal walk all over her in an effort to be his happy wife. That felt easy enough to do with Hunter, too.
Except she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to bite her tongue and hide her anger for fear of giving too much power to her inner animal or chasing him off.
She didn’t like being upset. Hated it, in fact. Looking on the bright side of life was her default position. All the calamitous thoughts rolling through her head made her skin itch worse than the time she shifted in the middle of a patch of poison ivy.
But she’d been brought low and shown what it meant to be alone. If Hunter couldn’t trust her with all parts of his life, well, she’d survived being alone once already.
Her badger tore at her insides. “Why didn’t you say anything? You could have told me at any point.”
“At first, it was the same as everyone I’ve met since coming here. I had to keep quiet. Then it was because I was a selfish asshole who didn’t want to scare you off.” He spread his hands wide. Remorse flared in his s
cent. “I fucked up, Joss. My life has been one fuck up after another. I’m not ever going to be perfect, but you make me want to try.”
Dang her heart for melting over those words. She could hear the truth in them, too. He was ripping himself apart for the trouble he put at her feet.
“Joss.” Hunter cleared his throat. “You know what I’ve done now. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m a mess of a man who can’t imagine a life without you. I want you to see me, flaws and all.”
The same as he saw her. Broken badger, divorcee with a problem ex, woman finding her footing, and he still wanted her.
She scooted closer and rested her head on his shoulder.
Big problems felt small in the night. They were still problems, but they were manageable under the stars.
They fell into silence. Joss was struck by the ease of it and rebelled against the feeling of sinking into blanketed warmth. They weren’t a couple sharing a nightcap before shuffling off to bed. He’d told her of a monumental screw up and admitted danger still lurked around the corner.
Something needed to be said. Something poignant that underscored the seriousness of the challenges ahead, or the questions she still had about herself, him, and them together.
“I had my first sending tonight,” she blurted.
Dumb. Brain to mouth fail. She couldn’t even blame that on her badger, who ran excited circles through her mind at being near Hunter once more.
His face lit up. “Joss! That’s great!”
The entire world felt like it was crashing around their heads, and he still had a smile and encouragement for her.
When you know, you know.
Only, she didn’t trust her gut or instinct or inner animal. She was so scared of stepping back into quicksand that she couldn’t make a move. All the while, she slowly sank anyway.
He reached for her hand and brought her knuckles to his lips. “You should get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. Eyes swirling between brown and gold searched her face.
“Hunter…”
He adjusted his hat on his head, then dipped the brim. “Sleep, Joss. Sleep and think. You’ll be safe tonight, I promise you.”
Spurred Fate: Book Two: Black Claw Ranch Page 13
