“And you really think the Spire would make public any decisions I’ve made that they disagreed with?” he retorted.
“We’re not talking about a disagreement, Ven. If you’d refused to bring Harper to Spire Command, you would have been breaking the law. Even if I believed you’d be willing to do that, I wouldn’t ask you to.”
Ven blinked at her, those beautiful dark brown eyes studying her, then he sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. Liv had an overwhelming urge to run her own fingers through his hair and tame the unruly mess he’d just made, but she bit her lip and stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets. She had to get a grip on her emotions. Or hormones. Or maybe both.
“You didn’t want me in that position,” he finally said.
Liv shook her head, and for once, she could be completely honest with him. She’d never ask him to break the law for her.
Ven sighed and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, too. “What happened in the cave?”
Liv shuffled her feet nervously again and lifted a shoulder, but she knew exactly why she’d reacted that way. “I panicked.”
“Olivia,” he said, “I’m trying to help you here. How can I do that if you aren’t honest with me?”
“She’s my friend, and I panicked. That’s the truth. I did all this for her, and she’s still going to die!”
“It’s unlikely they’ll give her a death sentence. Harper’s a telepath, and she’s too valuable. They’ll hope she can eventually be useful in some way. She’ll never be able to serve as a link, of course, but at the very least, the Triumvirate will want to know how and why a telepath became a pirate without the Spire’s knowledge. I can do nothing more for her, but I will make you a deal. I’ll overlook this… lapse in judgment one time and allow you to return to your post. When I reported this to Spire command, I left out your involvement. So as far as they know, you were an innocent victim. Harper will have to face a Triumvirate though.”
“Ven,” Liv argued, “there’s—”
“It’s better than imprisonment or death,” Ven interrupted. “And I’ll report her in the most favorable light possible, given the circumstances.”
“Okay,” Liv whispered before she could think through her own options.
“And you’ll remain my engineer?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” he said with a hint of a smile for the first time. “Because Renee still thinks I’m in need of a friend, and you’ve just proven how loyal you are to your friends.”
He clearly couldn’t remember her, so why was he willing to make so many concessions for her? What did he want from her? It couldn’t be that he’d found out she was his link. If he’d discovered the truth, he’d be pushing for her to replace Renee, not telling her she could return to engineering.
And what the hell was she supposed to do about Harper now? She knew her old friend would rather face death than a life as a telepath for the Spire. It seemed all she’d done was create the worst possible outcome for them both. Harper would be forced into servitude, and she’d be forced to remain aboard Vengeance, even if he uncovered her own secret.
But there were no more escapes, no more desperate plans to save them both.
They were at Vengeance’s mercy.
Chapter Sixteen
“Not chess again,” Liv groaned.
Since they were still quite a long way from Teutorigos, the home planet of the Spire, they didn’t measure time in days but cycles based on sleep and work. If she were on a planet where days could be measured, though, she was pretty sure she’d be going on eight days now of nightly chess matches with Ven.
Strange as it was, he’d proven true to his word. This last week, he’d done his best to cultivate a friendship with her. It should have been awkward, but after the first day, they’d fallen into a comfortable routine. Or maybe a boring routine was more accurate, since it involved a lot of chess.
He pointed to the board and shot her a crooked grin. “You have yet to beat me. You can quit once you do.”
“That’s impossible,” Liv insisted. “You have the processing skills of a computer.”
Ven just shrugged. “I’m a sentient being, which means I’m perfectly capable of making mistakes.”
“So I have to keep playing chess until you make a mistake?” She sat down anyway and glared at the board with the animosity it deserved.
She really hated this game.
“Or until I think your strategy has improved enough that you’d be able to defeat a human opponent,” he suggested, his grin turning mischievous.
“I’d rather have a tea party again,” Liv mumbled, shoving one of her pawns forward to open the match.
Ven looked up at her, confused, and asked, “With whom did you have a tea party? And why? Sounds far more boring than chess.”
Liv dug her short nails into her palms so she could concentrate on something other than yet another blunder. She shrugged and nodded toward his side of the board. “Your move. And little girls have tea parties all the time. We drink tea and have cookies. What’s not to like about that?”
“Don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ve never been to a tea party before. But I’d be willing, and this body is capable of doing anything a human male’s can.”
Yes, she thought, I’m sure it is.
Liv blushed and moved another pawn.
“You’re blushing again, Olivia,” he observed.
“Chess makes me blush.”
“You’re being a smartass again, Olivia.”
She laughed and reminded him, “I’m good at two things, and one of them is not chess.”
“True,” he acknowledged. “Although I’m sure you excel at more than sarcasm and your job.”
“Well,” she teased, “I didn’t want to brag, but I do throw a mean tea party.”
Ven laughed, too, and sat back in his chair, eyeing her playfully. “Okay. You win. Not this game, I already had you beat, but I’ll let you throw this tea party instead.”
Liv extended her hand. “Deal.”
He glanced at it for a few seconds before wrapping his fingers around hers, and Liv caught her breath, knowing she was blushing once again but unable to stop it. His touch reminded her of all the thoughts she shouldn’t have been having but couldn’t seem to control.
He pulled his hand back, seemingly uncomfortable and nervous now too, and cleared his throat. “So… where does one partake in a tea party?”
“Well, the garden with the gazebo is awfully nice… you know, if I had clearance to be there.”
“This is an intentional ploy for clearance, isn’t it?”
“I think I’ve earned it,” she said, pointing to the chessboard. “And besides, you’ve got to help me sneak cookies from the galley anyway.”
“Ah,” he teased. “So your real motive is revealed. And what type of cookie am I supposed to be stealing from my own galley?”
“If it looks healthy, put it back. We don’t need that shit.”
Ven laughed again and waved an arm toward the door. “After you, Journeyman Engineer Hawthorne. This is an excellent opportunity for me to observe your skills in stealth.”
Liv glanced over her shoulder and arched an eyebrow at him. “I can’t imagine why an engineer would need to be stealthy. The crew really will start gossiping about us soon.”
“What makes you think they aren’t already?”
Liv put her hands on her hips and reminded him, “You promised you’d shut those rumors down!”
That grin. Damn, that grin would be the death of her.
“I’ve tried,” he insisted. “But we have been playing chess in the rec room, so everyone knows how much time we spend together. And the more I tell crewmembers those rumors are unfounded, the more they seem to spread. That kind of gossip is apparently too scintillating to stop.”
Liv groaned and rubbed her forehead. “That explains the strange looks from half the guys I work with.”
“Is there someone you’re…” He bit hi
s lip and looked toward the end of the hallway where it veered off toward the galley. “Cookies. And nothing that could be mistaken for a healthful ingredient.”
“Someone I’m…” Liv repeated then realized what he’d wanted to ask her. She tugged on the hemline of her shirt and cleared her throat as Ven gestured toward the hallway again, looking very much like an animal trapped in a cage. “Um, no. I’m not having any kind of affair with a crewmember.”
Ven took a deep breath and began walking without her. “It’s none of my business even so.”
“I just… wanted you to know I’m far more professional than that,” Liv hurriedly clarified. “I would never engage in a relationship with a crewmember.”
“Right,” Ven agreed, forcing a smile in her direction. “Cookies. And presumably, there should be tea at a tea party.”
Liv forced a smile back at him, but she couldn’t help thinking he looked both hurt and disappointed. She wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly why.
But how could she ever tell him he was the one man she wanted most, yet the one she could never have? Because if he uncovered her secret, the betrayal he’d felt over her escape with Harper would be nothing compared to the truth about her past or her refusal to become his link after all.
Ven watched her set teacups on saucers and place the shortbread cookies in a circular pattern on the serving tray, her movements delicate yet precise as she arranged them. She was breathtakingly beautiful, and he found himself smiling as he watched her. And of course she caught him.
“Don’t get too excited,” she warned. “I’m eating all these myself. You probably don’t even have a stomach.”
Ven snorted and grabbed a cookie from the plate then shoved it in his mouth. Liv gaped at him then squinted in pretend anger. “Fine,” she relented. “So I don’t know everything about your drones. The rest of these are mine, though, so back off.”
Ven didn’t argue. He thought he would have given her anything she asked for. “They’re not even very good. You should have asked me to steal something else.”
“They’re to dip in your tea,” she advised. “And you lied to me. Sort of.”
“No, I didn’t,” he insisted. “You never asked if I could eat. You just assumed I couldn’t. And unlike the new drones they’re making now, I don’t need to. There’s a difference.”
“What do you think the big appeal is with those new human drones, anyway?” Liv asked, spreading her napkin over her lap. “Do you really want to experience what it’s like to grow old and die?”
Ven pointed to the platter and deflected. “Are you really going to eat all of those?”
“Ven,” she warned.
He sighed and lifted his eyes to meet hers. “Sometimes. Maybe. I’m over three thousand years old, Liv. And I wouldn’t actually die… I’d know that I’m not really dying because I can inhabit thousands of bodies at once. I do… all the time, actually. But yeah, I’ve been curious about what it must be like to have such a short lifespan. Everyone I’ve ever loved, they…” Ven lowered his eyes and studied his teacup, which still only contained air.
“They die and leave you,” Liv finished.
“Or sometimes,” he added quietly, “they just leave me.”
“Ven,” she whispered.
He glanced up at the teapot and lifted it, filling both their cups so he’d have something to distract him from the memory that had changed him and taught him to fear love rather than embrace it. Until Olivia Hawthorne had stepped foot aboard his ship, he’d been doing a remarkably good job of it, too.
“We all get our hearts broken, Ven,” she offered. “That’s part of being alive.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. “But do you know many people who had their heart broken because they’re not human?”
“They’re not…” Liv shook her head and tried again. “I don’t understand.”
He pointed to the platter and attempted to change the subject. “Are you really not going to let me have another one?”
“I’m pushing. I’m sorry,” Liv said. “We all have secrets. It’s okay, Ven.”
Truthfully, he didn’t want to keep secrets from her, but how was he supposed to tell her the last woman he’d fallen in love with had left him for another man, simply because he wasn’t human? Maybe Liv was right. Maybe everyone eventually had their hearts broken, but they most likely weren’t so painfully reminded of what they were and never could be. He’d held onto this belief that he wasn’t human enough for any woman for a long time, and he certainly wasn’t human enough for a woman like Liv.
“Well, perhaps you should concentrate on teaching me what, exactly, I’m supposed to be doing here,” Ven said. “Beyond drinking tea and eating cookies I may or may not be allowed to touch again.”
Liv offered him a small smile and looked out on the lake, lost in her own thoughts or perhaps her own painful memory. Ven followed her gaze, but the calm surface of the water revealed nothing.
“Olivia?”
“Do you know what bradan are, Ven?” she asked, her eyes still roving over the surface of the calm water as if she could spot one of the elusive animals even though none lived aboard the ship.
“Yes,” he answered. Was she going to confide in him so soon? “They’re a type of animal that lives on an uninhabited planet.”
“Have you ever seen one?”
“Not for twenty years,” he answered. “Not since that planet was closed off. There was an accident—”
“I know,” she whispered.
“Liv, are you all right?” he asked, rising from his chair so he could kneel before her.
He’d never seen her so distant and confused. Was she reliving memories of the attack on Nualla? And would she ever feel comfortable enough to share with him all she’d survived? But she’d mentioned bradan. That was a start. Now he only wanted to comfort her, to assure her he could help her and protect her. He’d even track down a bradan for her if that was what it took to get her smiling again.
Ven rested his hand over hers, a simple gesture of affection, but when she finally looked away from the lake and met his eyes, he found himself acting impulsively—something he never did. His other hand reached up to her face and brushed her hair away from her cheek, his thumb gently caressing her face then her full, pink lips. And before he could reason his way out of acting, out of the rash and sudden desire to kiss her, his lips found hers.
Liv’s momentary surprise was evident, but she clasped a hand behind his neck as she pulled him closer. He was used to operating an entire warship and thousands of drudges and sentinels at any given time, but the more passionately she kissed him back, the more he seemed incapable of concentrating on anything other than her… on her lips and that kiss, on her body and the way his own reacted to hers, on her smell and the feel of her fingers as they pressed against him.
But as quickly as the kiss began, it ended.
Liv suddenly pushed him away, blinking at him as if she’d been under a spell and had no idea how a strange man’s tongue had ended up in her mouth. “Ven,” she panted. “No… We can’t… I’m…”
He flinched and rocked back on his heels as those words punched him in the stomach. The memory of Jillian, strikingly beautiful with raven black hair and a bronzed complexion, standing in their doorway as she clutched a single satchel in both hands, reminded him how foolish he’d been to pursue any relationship with a woman, even the friendship he’d been claiming this was, although Renee almost certainly saw through him.
Jillian’s pity had mixed with her obvious contempt for the man who couldn’t grow old with her or give her the family she wanted. “If you were… human, Ven, things could have been different.”
And then she’d opened their door and closed a chapter of his long life he’d never intended to reopen.
“It’s late,” Liv stammered. “I need to sleep. Alone. I mean, I need rest… for work.”
Ven refused to look at her. He stood up and waved a hand toward the table. “I’ll have this clea
ned up. Go.”
“Ven,” she whispered.
“Go,” he ordered.
She lifted herself carefully from the chair, but Ven turned his back on her and stormed out of the gazebo where they’d been sitting.
How stupid he’d been to allow himself to fall in love with this engineer who wasn’t an engineer at all.
But he’d make damn sure he’d never be fooled again.
Liv collapsed against her wall and closed her eyes, touching her lips with her fingertips as she recalled every detail of that kiss. She’d wanted him. More than anything, she’d wanted to tear off his clothes right there on the gazebo and scandalize whatever the hell was living in that lake.
But how could she possibly keep her secret hidden if she allowed herself to get any closer to him—emotionally or physically?
If she wanted to save herself, there was only one thing she could do.
She had to leave Vengeance.
Part of the deal he’d offered her presumed she would remain in his service, but he would likely be so distraught over her rejection that he wouldn’t object to a transfer. Maybe he’d even be relieved to get rid of her.
Why had he told her a woman had rejected him for not being human? He’d believe she was doing the same thing to him now. It seemed all she’d done in the past few weeks was hurt and betray him when he was the last person in the universe she wanted to betray or hurt.
It would be better for him if she left.
Her mind made up, she darted into the hallway to find Captain Welner so she could request an immediate transfer. She didn’t have to search long.
He sat behind his desk, a holographic image of their coordinates illuminating his face with a soft blue glow. Liv knocked on his open door then stood as straight as she could.
The captain looked up and swiped the image to shut it off. “Journeyman Engineer Hawthorne?”
“Sir, I’d like to request an immediate transfer to a different Warship of the Spire.”
“A different…” He leaned back in his chair and looked her over quickly. “Did you clear this with Vengeance?”
Vengeance (Warships of the Spire Book 1) Page 12
