“You just don’t understand, Winston.” She dropped down beside him.
“So you keep telling me and you’re right. I don’t understand what it is that you want out of life, what you want from me. You have it all—brains, beauty and most important of all, love—and still you insist on being miserable. Is this how you plan on going through the rest of your life?”
“Of course not.” Sharon was annoyed at his question. He could be so insensitive at times.
Winston rose. “Well neither do I. I’ve done everything I can to show you how much I love you and to help make you feel better about yourself, but I can only do so much. You’ve got to do the rest.”
Sharon dropped her eyes. She knew that she couldn’t argue that point. Leaning down, Winston pulled Sharon up from the sofa and held her at arm’s length.
“I don’t know what it will take to make you happy, but Lord knows I’ve tried. You won’t tell me what’s making you so miserable, but I can see that you’re enjoying wallowing in that misery. I don’t like that feeling, and being without you makes me feel that way. So you know what? I’m making the choice now to do what I have to do to change my situation. I’m happy about our baby and I’m happy that you’re my wife, but I’m willing to let you go. I came here with the hope that you’ll go back home with me, but I can see that’s not going to happen, so this is it.”
Sharon’s stomach lurched. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not asking anymore, baby. I won’t beg again. When I walk out the door this time I won’t be back.”
“Just because I’m a little depressed?” Sharon’s voice rose in disbelief.
“You know better. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be here, despite the fact that you won’t tell me what the problem is. But let’s not forget that you left me, and all because I wouldn’t compromise my integrity. That hasn’t changed and won’t.”
There was a pregnant pause while he let his words have their impact. Sharon shivered at their implication. His next words were a firm declaration.
“You know that I care about you. I’ve never loved a woman more, but I plan on going on with my life—with or without you.” Winston kissed her brow. “Goodbye, Sharon. The next step will be yours to take.” He turned and walked out of the door.
Sharon stood in the middle of the room immobilized. The warmth of his lips still lingered on her brow. He couldn’t possibly have meant what he said. He loved her and she knew it. Surely, they could work their problems out. They had made passionate love only hours ago. He couldn’t be gone for good! How had one disaster turned into two so quickly and with both threatening to tear two families apart?
* * *
Samuel Jamison sat in the semidarkness of his bedroom staring at the picture on the table beside him. The young woman smiling back at him possessed the same color eyes as his own, and she was a beauty. He had loved his little girl so much. At eighteen she had reminded him of her mother when he and Jessica were young and in love. That was long before alcohol had become his wife’s companion and happiness between them seemed a real possibility. They had been so naïve. He and Jessica had actually believed that love could conquer all, and Madeline had been the manifestation of their intense feelings for each other; but, their love had been tested as he spent more time increasing the family fortune and less time with his family. Yet, his love for his wife never wavered, even when she found consolation in the arms of someone else. The affair resulted in the birth of a child that belonged to him only by law. The thought of her betrayal pierced his heart, and the results had repercussions that still existed until this very day. As much as he loved Jessica—enough to forgive her—he still found it difficult to love her child.
No one knew about Royce’s parentage, and the secret as to who fathered him Jessica took to her grave, along with the guilt that drove her to drink. But it was clear that he and his wife’s lover had something in common—a pair of sky-blue eyes that each had passed on to his child.
Taking Madeline’s picture from the table, he clutched it to him. Soon he would be with his beloved wife and child, but before he left this earth, he had one last mission. He had to make amends. Royce’s child was a part of Jessica. He wanted the chance to give to her grandchild what he couldn’t give to her son—love and affection.
Samuel had always harbored the wish that his daughter would have blessed him with a grandchild, but she had died too soon. Her death was a mystery, and until he drew his last breath, he would never believe that she committed suicide. Yet, the result was the same. His child was dead.
Now in the loneliness and despair of old age, he was left to embrace the child of a prostitute as his own blood. The plan to do so seemed to be a good one at first. Discretion was all but assured, and he thought it would be fun being around a child again, but he was beginning to have regrets. Royce’s behavior had become increasingly erratic, not unlike in the past. Samuel had wanted to have him psychologically evaluated when he was a child, but his wife had resisted that suggestion. Giving in to her every wish was something else that he had regretted in his life.
Kissing his daughter’s picture, he placed it back lovingly on the table, and with great effort pushed himself out of the chair and climbed into his large bed. Settling in for the night, he pulled the covers over his frail body as his mind still raced. Maybe, it was best to forget the whole thing. Yet, he knew that he wouldn’t. He owed this to the love of his life, and it was a debt that he was more than willing to pay. His last days on earth would be drastically changing soon. In less than a week, Jessica’s grandchild would be with him.
Chapter 26
“Colin! Trevor! Uncle Jacob is here!”
No sooner had Sin called up the stairs did the boys come clamoring down to join him and Jacob Belle in the foyer. Dragging behind them was Gillian, the misery of being excluded from the weekend trip to Berkeley clearly written on her face.
Gillian sat on the steps and watched as welcoming hugs were exchanged. Jacob had driven alone to the Peninsula to pick up the boys while Carla and the twins were at home preparing for their visit. After greeting the others, Jacob went to Gillian and sat down beside her.
“And how are you doing, little one?” There was sympathy in his voice for her plight.
Gillian’s lips quivered as she gave a small, “Fine.”
Jacob’s heart went out to her as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Aunt Carla and the twins say hello.”
“Tell them I said hello, too,” Gillian sniffed, fighting back the tears of being treated so badly by her parents just because she went off to pray. She hoped that God would forgive them.
“Are you staying for dinner, Jacob?” Nedra asked, interrupting the pity party that Gillian was generating. “We don’t want you three on the road starving. Mrs. Lucia made one of her special dishes just for you, and we’re about to eat now.”
“Well, you don’t have to ask me twice,” Jacob winked at Gillian. “And I bet my little lady here wants some, too.”
Gillian nodded. At least she had Uncle Jacob on her side. He scooped her up in his arms.
“Then lead us to that food,” he said, tickling her stomach and eliciting a giggle. Lifting the little girl on to his shoulders, Jacob followed Nedra to the back of the house.
“Looks like Little Miss Dynamite has charmed another one.” Sin chuckled. He turned to the boys. They had placed their backpacks near the door. They were bulging.
“What did you two pack, the house? You’ll only be gone for two nights.”
Trevor started to speak. “Colin put some—”
“I wanted to be sure that we had enough things,” Colin interrupted. He gave Trevor a gentle push forward. “Let’s go eat.”
At dinner the conversation consisted of light banter. Telephone conversations between the families for the past few days had informed them thoroughly of every aspect of the pending custody fight with Royce Jamison. The weekend with Jacob and Carla had been their way of offering the children a fun weekend and
their parents time alone. Everyone was under stress and needed relief. Sin and Nedra had chosen not to inform the Belles of the latest threat to take Trevor away sooner. They didn’t want to spoil the time they might have with the boys by delivering bad news.
“Where’s Sharon?” Jacob inquired. “We haven’t heard from her in a while.”
Nedra shrugged. “I think she’s out in the guest house. I haven’t seen her the past couple of days. I told the kids not to disturb her. Winston’s car was here yesterday, so…” She glanced at the children. “Well, I thought it best not to bother her. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”
Jacob nodded in understanding. Having finished his meal, he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his stomach with satisfaction. “Umm ummm, good.” He grinned at Nedra and Sin. “So, what do you two have planned for this evening, since you’ll be childless?” He raised a brow at Gillian. “Well, almost.”
“I’ve got an appointment,” Sin answered nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on his plate as he finished his dinner.
“On a Friday night?” Nedra looked at him bewildered. He rarely conducted business after hours.
Colin’s head snapped up as he paid close attention to his father’s answer. It was short.
“Yes.” Sin offered no further explanation. There was an awkward silence at the table.
Jacob sensed something amiss. There seemed to be a tension between Sin and Nedra that he’d never felt before. It was obvious that the pressure of the custody battle was taking its toil. Hopefully, allowing them this time together might help. It was too bad that Gillian couldn’t come, too.
“Listen folks, we hate to eat and run, but we have a full weekend planned for the boys, and I want to get back to Berkeley before nightfall. Soooooo…” He tossed his napkin on the table. “It’s time to say adieu.”
Nedra and Sin stood waving goodbye as the car moved down the driveway, while a heartbroken Gillian rested in her father’s arms crying at the top of her lungs. He preoccupied himself with comforting her, avoiding Nedra’s questioning look as he carried the child up to her room. He knew that she wanted to know where he was going tonight, but he had promised not to tell, and he didn’t plan on breaking that promise.
After Gillian had cried herself to sleep, he went to their bedroom to shower and change for his meeting with Evelyn Linwood. He felt relieved when he entered the room and Nedra wasn’t there. At the moment, he wasn’t too excited about the meeting. He really needed this time to mend fences with Nedra. He had let his anger at her fester and that wasn’t good. If it continued, the breach could get serious.
By the time he exited his dressing room, donned in a fresh pair of slacks, a mock turtleneck shirt and a sports coat, Nedra was in the sitting room.
“Where are you going, Sinclair?” She left no doubt that she expected an answer.
“I told you, I’ve got a meeting.” Sin moved around the room, gathering his wallet and keys.
“I know, but where and with whom?”
Sin stopped short and looked at her. Nedra looked tense. He felt a tinge of guilt for causing her concern. “You’ve never questioned me like this before.”
“You’ve always told me before.”
He studied the face of the woman that he loved. What was happening here? Why didn’t he just tell her? Why did he resent her asking what any wife had a right to ask? “I shouldn’t be out late if that’s what you’re worried about, and if I am I’ll call you.”
He gave Nedra a goodbye kiss on the cheek, then closed the door behind him. He could tell by her demeanor that she hadn’t liked his answer.
* * *
It was too quiet in the house for a Friday night. Gillian had awakened from her nap and her last crying jag, and Nedra now cuddled her small body close to her own. She gave a contented sigh as her daughter tightened her arms around her neck. Her baby girl wasn’t taking being left out of the trip to Berkeley well at all. She was still moping even hours after her brothers’ departure. Nedra didn’t want to diminish the seriousness of her having gone off alone, but the child was so miserable that she had finally taken pity on her. She picked her up and carried her in her arms as she wandered around the house.
Nedra hugged Gillian closer, needing the comfort of her daughter’s body as much as Gillian needed her mother’s comfort. She felt contentment radiating throughout her. Nedra often marveled at how much she loved her children. There was no other feeling to compare it to, except, perhaps, the love she felt for her husband, but at the moment he wasn’t around.
The truth of the matter was that she felt adrift. She and Sin had never been at odds to the point where he had withdrawn from her as he had been doing lately. It frightened her. One of the strengths of their relationship was their willingness to communicate. As a minister, she had seen too many marriages dissolve because of the lack of it. When she got married, she had vowed that it would not happen in her union, and she didn’t plan on breaking that vow.
When her husband got back from wherever he was—and it disturbed her that she didn’t know where that was, again—she would insist that they continue to talk about their differences. Surely, they could reach some sort of compromise.
The ringing of the telephone roused her from her musings. Shifting Gillian to her hip, Nedra answered its summons.
“Hello.” She hoped that it might be Sin calling to let her know where he was. It was usually his habit to call and check on her well-being if he expected to be gone for any length of time.
“Hello, Nedra.”
She froze. Royce Jamison was on the other end of the line. Nedra slipped a protesting Gillian from her arms to the floor.
“I can’t believe that you have the nerve to call me!” Her voice trembled with rage.
“I just wanted to hear your voice again,” he said huskily. “You sound good, even when you’re angry. It’s too bad that the two of us can’t be on better terms.”
“The only terms I want to be on with you are those that we’ll be on in court!” She started to hang up, but his next words stopped her.
“But you forced me to press charges against your husband.”
“Forced you?”
Gillian jumped and backed away from her mother in reaction to the tone of voice. She stood staring at her anxiously.
“Yes you did,” Royce replied. “You knew the terms of our agreement and you ignored them, so I had to take action. But out of the goodness of my heart, I did drop the charges. I would think that you would be grateful for that.” His last words were slurred and his tone was suggestive. Nedra was incensed.
“Listen to me, you freak. If you ever call this telephone number again, I’ll have you arrested for harassment. The only place that I want to see you again is in court!”
This time she did hang up, then flung the telephone on the sofa as Gillian watched in awed amazement at a display of anger she had never seen before.
“You’re mad, too, aren’t you, Mommy?”
Nedra dropped into a chair, too upset to answer the little girl’s astute inquiry. She covered her face with trembling hands and took deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. A sympathetic Gillian patted her gently on the shoulder.
“Was that a bad person, Mommy?” She lay her head on her shoulder. “Is that why you’re mad? Was that the man who wants to take Trevor away?”
Nedra started. Removing her hands from her face, she looked at her little girl in awe. How did she know that was Jamison? The child’s insight constantly amazed her. In the beginning of the custody battle, she and Sin had assumed that their baby girl was too young to understand its complexities. That had been a mistake. Gillian seemed to understand more than the family gave her credit for.
“Trevor talks to me about him sometimes. He can’t talk to Colin because he gets mad when he talks about him. Trevor and me tell each other lots of secrets, but Colin keeps secrets from everybody. Mommy, the bad man’s not going to take Trevor away, is he?”
Nedra’s heart broke as she
saw the fear in her child’s eyes. She pulled Gillian onto her lap, hugged her tightly to her and planted a kiss in her braided hair.
“Don’t worry, sweetie, Daddy and I are doing everything we can to make sure that your brother stays with us.”
Gillian brightened. “So that means that Trevor will be coming back home with Colin from Aunt Carla’s house?”
Nedra’s eyebrows knitted in confusion until the child’s question suddenly became clear. It explained Gillian’s tearful behavior over the past few hours. She was afraid that she wouldn’t see Trevor again.
“Baby, both of your brothers will be back home this weekend.” At least she could promise her that.
“Then why did Colin take all of that money with him? And why did he put all of those clothes he was hiding in Trevor’s backpack?”
Nedra frowned. “What money? And what clothes are you talking about?”
“Colin took all of the money out of his hiding place, and he took the clothes out of the back of his closet and put them in his back pack and in Trevor’s.”
“Well of course Colin packed his clothes. You know that we all pack our clothes when we go away, and he was probably trying to help Trevor pack his.”
“Uh, uh.” The barrettes on Gillian’s braids flung from side to side as she shook her head in vigorous disagreement. “He didn’t pack his old clothes. He packed the new ones out of the bag that he hid in back of his closet. He put some of them in his backpack and some in Trevor’s.”
What Gillian was telling her remained confusing, but not unlikely. Colin was forever the doting big brother. It wasn’t unusual for him to help his brother or sister pack for their many travels. As for hidden funds, everyone in the family knew that Colin was bound to become a multi-millionaire one day. He could turn a dime into a dollar in a second, and hoarded his money like a miser. That was no great surprise. However, Nedra did have one question that needed to be answered.
“How do you know where Colin hides his money and where he hides his new clothes?” She wasn’t sure why he would hide the latter unless it was something that she and Sin would rather he not wear.
Sinful Intentions Page 25
