by Laura Benson
His fingers lingered a bit longer on my hair, barely brushing my neck until I shivered in response. He moved in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders, working his way down to my hands, feeling to see if anything was broken.
“Nothing’s broken, just my pride.” I managed a joking smile this time, but his gaze snapped up to me. I knew he could see the tears lingering on my lashes.
I shriveled a little as he shot a scathing look over his shoulder at Joey. “How could you let this happen? She could’ve been killed!”
Joey leaned against the doorway. His shoulders slumped slightly. He was already a mess and Matthew’s interrogation wasn’t helping matters. “You think I don’t know that?” He muttered something else that I couldn’t make out. “It happened so fast, there was no warning. One minute she’s holding onto my hand, next thing she’s not, and she’s on the ground. I did everything I could to get to her and break through those assholes. Jesus, Matthew, you’re acting like her fucking boyfriend. You’re not her boyfriend,” he shot at him. His fiery eyes shot daggers at Matthew’s outrage.
“Neither are you, Joey!” Matthew growled, taking a step away from me and toward Joey. I wondered if I should step between them, but I didn’t feel the courage at the moment. Matthew continued, “But it is up to you to keep her safe and not get her fucking killed.” He started pacing.
“I just want to go home,” I managed while the two men had a stare down.
Joey looked down at the floor.
Matthew turned to me. The anger melted from his face and switched to a look of complete adoration. “I’ll take you home.” Then Matthew did something so unexpected that I thought Joey’s eyes were going to pop out of his head. Matthew placed a soft kiss on my forehead before walking out of the bathroom.
Sticking his hands in his pockets, Joey looked over at me. His head hanging low, a contrite look to his expression. “I really am sorry. You have to know that I would never allow anything like this to happen to you again or ever. It just took place so fast, Charlie.”
I walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. “I know, Joey,” I tried to convince him. “It was frightening, and I’m still shaking.”
“They’re goddamn leeches is what they are.”
I nodded, agreeing with him. If I never saw another paparazzi in my lifetime that would be fine with me. I pulled back, and Joey glanced back at the door that Matthew had just exited.
“Anything going on with you two?” he asked, a bit defeated. It was becoming the afternoon from hell. “He seemed worked up when I told him, then he ran down here like a bat out of fucking hell.”
I dropped my gaze to the linoleum. There wasn’t really anything going on between us. Nothing that Joey needed to know anyway, and certainly nothing that would ever happen again. I just shook my head and mumbled, “He just gets worked up. You know how he is.”
Joey narrowed one eye. He didn’t seem convinced. “Do you want him to bring you back to the hotel? I don’t mind—”
I held my hand up to stop him. “It’s fine. I’m going to soak in a hot tub with a glass of wine and try to tune out the events of the day.” I sighed wistfully, knowing damn well that I’d be remembering the crush of people for a while with nightmares. “Remember, we have to be at the radio station at the piss-crack of dawn tomorrow. Shit!” I cringed in pain as I’d just remembered I had to fax over the questions. Ah, well, maybe I could ask Debbi to do it as a favor.
Joey looked down at me questioningly, as if I was having an internal debate with myself, which I was kind of. “Your questions,” I told him. “They need to get over to the station.” I waved him off when he started to open his mouth. “I’ll ask Debbi. Shouldn’t be a problem.” I looked down at my torn clothes and let out a sad sigh. “I need to get out of these.”
Joey moved in closer and cupped my face with his both hands. “I am so sorry, Charlie,” he said softly. There were so many emotions in my eyes, some from the Joey I used to know, and some from the Joey I’ve gotten to know this past week. He was definitely a changed man, perhaps some for the good and maybe not so good. The jury was out as to which one I preferred. Joey just stared at me for a bit then so carefully he brushed his lips with mine. When he finished kissing me, he just shook his head and headed out of the ladies room.
With the way that Matthew was treating me, you’d think I’d just had major brain surgery and needed a damn nurse twenty-four/seven. He was insistent that he walk up to the room with me and made sure that I wasn’t dizzy or feeling sick. He muttered about taking me to urgent care, but I made him stop. If I thought I had a concussion, I would’ve gone happily. All I was dealing with was a few bruises, a nervous psyche, and once again a pissed off manager.
In my room, I grabbed some sweats and a T-shirt to change into. I was aching to get in the tub, but Matthew didn’t seem like he was leaving anytime soon. When I came out of the bathroom, he had his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, sitting on my bed. Thoughts of last night came flooding back. I felt that familiar flush in my cheeks.
At the sight of me, Matthew jumped up. “Are you okay?”
I bit my lip, trying to look anywhere but up at his overly-concerned gaze. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms because I was shivering. If he only knew it wasn’t the cold affecting me. I finally nodded my head in answer to his question.
“Do you want me to stay?”
I wanted him to stay, but I didn’t. We were playing with fire right now. If Joey even suspected anything was going on between the two of us? Well, even I couldn’t imagine his reaction.
I moved from biting my lip to the inside of my cheek. I was torn. Having Matthew here would be a comfort. I could still feel that helplessness wallowing up inside of me. I just didn’t know if I could control myself with all these feelings for him on my surface. There was a bed in the middle of the room—the very reason I should say no. Although, I wasn’t sure how far we’d take things. My frame of mind was fragile.
“Charlie?” Matthew lifted my chin with gentle fingers, and I froze in his stare.
I thought back to Joey’s soft, friendly kiss and realized that what I needed right now was fire and heat and everything that Matthew was throwing my way. His eyes were questioning but respectful. I had a millisecond to think things through, and I wasn’t sure what the hell I wanted. Other than a glass of wine and a soak.
Before I could make up my mind, Matthew’s lips ghosted over mine, nipping and tugging, causing my internal struggle to dissipate. He kissed the edges of my lips with a passion that went straight through me and down to my feet. He licked, tasting every inch of my lips, but never once trying to breach them with his tongue. Closing my eyes, I could feel every inch of his hard body as I tried to pull him closer. I was going crazy. I wanted more, I craved it, but he was holding back on purpose, taunting me. He pulled my bottom lip between his teeth, slightly adding pressure. The sensation shot down to my clit as a moan escaped from my lips. His fingers felt like feathers against the curve of my neck.
My hands, of their own accord, worked their way up to his neck, tangling in the hair that scraped against his shirt. His hair was so soft, curling just slightly at the ends. With a sigh and a shudder, we both opened our mouths and started devouring each other. He pulled me up so I was able to wrap my legs against his slim waist. I was at the perfect height that both of us wouldn’t get cricks in our necks.
“Oh, Charlie,” Matthew whispered. Just hearing him say my name softly caused shivers to descend my body. “I need you, Charlie. So, so much.”
I pulled away for a minute, watching his eyes as they changed from want to lust to just a bit of adoration. So I did what any hot-blooded woman would do, I attacked him.
My tongue sought his, and they tangled in an erotic play. Just like the other night, I don’t think I’d ever been kissed like this. We were all tongue and teeth, his hands running up and down my back. I couldn’t get enough of him right now. Matthew walked us backward toward the bed and s
at down heavily, protecting my legs from being squashed underneath him. I squirmed on his lap as I tried to readjust my position.
“Charlie, you keep doing that, we’ll be doing more than just kissing,” he growled.
I could feel his arousal growing under me, but I wasn’t sure if he could feel how wet and ready I was for him. Just the thought of wanting him caused me to pull back from his lips.
“What are we doing, Matthew?” I nearly cried out. I’d felt like I’d been doused with ice cold water. My feelings for Matthew completely out of control, I was becoming a crazy person when he was around.
“Fuck if I know,” he panted, “but should we stop?” He pushed his hardened cock into my groin, which in return triggered a moan from me.
“Don’t do that,” I whispered while squeezing my eyes shut to the brilliant feeling he was making me feel.
He did it one more time—laughing quietly, while watching my expressions of lust—and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My sex receptors were firing in every direction, and it was getting harder to not just throw myself at him.
“We can’t do this to Joey…” I tried to say, but it was pointless.
Matthew continued licking up my neck, nibbling on my ear, completely ignoring everything I was saying.
I tried again, speaking between heavy pants. “It’s…not…shit!”
He pressed his lips just under my ear in the one spot that made me go all gooey and pliant in his hands. “You like that, huh?” He sounded pleased with himself as he continued his ministrations of my erogenous zone.
“I can’t think when you do that,” I murmured, closing my eyes. I was enjoying this way more than I should.
“I don’t want you thinking, Charlie,” he said gruffly. “I want you enjoying this. I told you yesterday and this morning. I want you,” he said while looking at me with more emotion than I could handle. His tongue licked at my bottom lip. “You’re so smart…” A small nip of the same lip. “You’re sexy as hell…”
I groaned as he pushed me over that edge with just his lips. “We hate each other,” I reminded him between kisses. But it seemed silly after saying it. Here we were ravaging each other, and I was still carrying a childish resentment?
A chuckled exploded from his mouth. “Hate is strong word. Dislike, maybe? Sexually attracted to each other, most definitely.” He pulled back for a second, looking straight into my eyes and it was then, that I saw what I didn’t want to. An emotion so great that I had to close my eyes to it. “Don’t fight it, baby.”
My eyes flipped open at the term of endearment. “It’s not right, Matthew. Too many variables involved. One that includes my job.”
Matthew sighed and stopped, and I immediately regretted what I just said. As if I weighed nothing, he plucked me off of his lap and gently set me down beside him.
He rubbed a hand across his face, which I understood as his way of cooling down. I slowly moved away from him, trying not to regret shutting him down for the hundredth time. He took several deep breaths, gazing straight ahead and pitching forward to lean his arms on his knees. “Did you hate what I did to you last night…and just now?”
“No,” I whispered. I couldn’t tell him that I was too turned on and most likely wanted everything he wanted to give me.
“Are,” he stopped to gather his thoughts, running a hand through his mussed up hair, “you no longer entitled to being happy because we happen to have a history together that includes a mutual friend that just so happens to be an ex-boyfriend from high school?” His voice was clearly pained as he added, “Do you still have an issue with me?”
I felt my gut twisting. He looked like a lost kid with insecurities I never knew about. Maybe he did have insecurities. Still, I had to be honest. I shook my head. I never had an issue with him. It was him that had the issue with me. I shot up from my spot and reached for him, grabbing his hand. “You’ve always hated me, Matthew. You were rude and mean and said terrible things to me.”
Matthew got off the bed and paced around. He ripped a hand through his hair, his eyes wildly jumping about the room. “You were fucking my best friend! I was goddamned jealous, Charlie.”
“You were…what?” Jealous? No way. Jealous of what? Wait…did he have feelings for me back then? Holy shit. Why would Matthew be jealous? This just didn’t make any sense. Joey and I were a couple. Matthew knew that.
Matthew sighed deeply. “Joey wanted to spend all his time with his girlfriend and not with his friends who were in the band with him. He was missing practices, blowing us off for you,” he muttered angrily.
So that wasn’t it at all. He never had feelings for me. I felt my face reddening with anger. “Well,” I snatched my hand back from his, placing both of my hands on my hips to confront him. “I’m sorry if your best friend wanted to spend time with his girlfriend. I mean, that’s what people do when they’re dating.”
Matthew tilted his head up to the ceiling as if he was looking for guidance. His hands were crossed against the top of his head. “Charlie, he was choosing you over us. We were highly pissed off teens,” he groaned.
And? “That still doesn’t explain why you hated me or were so mean to me,” I said softly, tired of being angry with him.
He turned to look at me. In that moment, the softness in his eyes returned. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. “It’s not important. Obviously, you feel differently than I do.” He looked toward the door. “I’ll just head out then.”
Now he was leaving? How the fuck did we go from making out to this? I was getting whiplash from his damn moods. “Matthew, we can ta…”
“No,” he said sharply a look of annoyance and loss showing on his face. “It’s fine, we’re on different pages here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Without a goodbye, he stalked out the door, and I was left for the second day in a row, highly aroused and completely conflicted, and so fucking confused with how my body was reacting to Matthew. What the hell was going on with him? Why did he want me?
With bated breath, we arrived on time at the radio station. All questions were faxed over, thanks to Debbi, and I was keeping fingers crossed that everything would go according to plan. One thing we hadn’t been able to talk about was Joey picking a winner on air, but I thought that would be a cool aspect to his interview, being able to talk to the fan who won tickets to his show.
The producer of the morning show prepped Joey on the ins and outs of the studio and assured him that he didn’t have anything to worry about. Joey seemed pretty easy going once everything seemed to fall into place. He was overly concerned with my injuries, but I shooed him away, letting him know I was fine. A bit of make-up and I was able to cover up the bruise on my cheek. My hand was sore from being trampled on, but nothing was broken, thank goodness. Once he was whisked away, I stayed behind in the producer’s booth with my own headphones so I could hear everything that was going on. Joey looked toward me with a nervous tic. I understand performing live in front of fifty thousand people, but I didn’t exactly understand why he’d be nervous on a radio show. Once the show went live and he was introduced, he seemed to relax. The DJs joked along with each other making Joey feel right at home. I liked this and gave him a thumbs up. They would talk to him for a few, play a song of his, and then go back to the interview.
The banter between the male and female DJs was easygoing and casual. They talked about Joey’s breakout into the music scene, how fast his fan base had grown, and how he seemed to be shuttled into the fame stratosphere in a short amount of time.
He nodded, even though listeners couldn’t see. “Yeah, everything came together really quickly. My first single ‘Adore’ hit the charts really fast and from there, everything just took off.”
I smiled when I remembered the first time we heard his song on the radio. I was at school, and Joey called me screaming. A moment I’d never forget.
The male DJ asked his question. “With fame comes rumors and well, you, Joey have been the targe
t of quite a few. Mind clearing a few of these up?”
I thought that was safe enough. Not digging into his personal life.
Joey smiled easily. “What rumors are you talking about exactly?”
I bit my lip, unsure if that was the best answer he could’ve given, but I’d have to wait it out like everyone listening would.
The female DJ mentioned, “Well it’s been allegedly reported that you have quite an expensive drug habit and that you’ve been in and out of rehab. That you also hook up with various escort agencies during such benders.”
Joey rubbed his chin as he contemplated his answer. “Well, first of all, I’ve dabbled in a few recreational things here and there. I can honestly tell you that I’ve never been to rehab, and I don’t really think I have a difficult time finding a girl to keep me company.” He smirked at the female DJ, and I rolled my eyes. The interview continued on in the same vein until a website was brought up and showed to Joey.
“You mean like the girl who you nearly got trampled yesterday?” The male DJ showed Joey pictures of me on the ground crying and him looking like an avenging angel.
Shit! I begged the producer to bring up the same page they were looking at. What I saw was horrendous. Joey looked murderous, and I looked like a frail little rabbit. There were pictures of him physically attacking a photographer who was impeding his attempt to get to me. There were pictures of him holding me tightly as we made it to his car, and then there was that one photo that looked like he was about to kiss me.
“Dammit!” I spat, and then turned to the producer. “Can you turn me on so I can talk to him?”
He waved at me and pushed a button.
I took a deep breath. “Joey, you can stop this line of questioning. I’m sorry I didn’t check the sites this morning. I wasn’t thinking.” I wasn’t sure if he could communicate back to me, so I just apologized, and he shrugged his shoulders. The look he gave me was thoughtful, and I appreciated that he wasn’t upset with me for my oversight.
