* * *
That had been two long weeks ago. After Emma revived them, he and Jade had both struggled to find their bearings. Where they’d normally have sought out each other for comfort, something had changed. He didn’t know if it was with him, or with his sister.
But all Jasper could think about was Autumn and that kiss, and Gunnar’s soft, white fur, the scent of it a regular feature in his dreams the last two nights.
The worst part was that they’d be leaving before he even got to know them. They’d both just given up their place in the Sanctuary to make sure Emma’s mates could return.
The two guardians she’d secretly mated had left the sanctuary at New Year’s. Autumn and Gunnar had made a promise to take their place before the Equinox, so that they could come back to be with Emma. They would be leaving soon, and Jasper wouldn’t be able to follow. If he left now, it might kill him to try to return again. And after the Equinox, only Windchasers would be allowed in and out of the Sanctuary. Not a young Stonetree male like himself.
That was the part Jasper had issues with. He’d finally found the rest of his family. His unknown mother and his missing father. His aunt and uncle. And now that he believed he’d met the love of his life—loves of his life, who was he kidding?—they had just given up everything for his family.
After waking up, he’d seen them for the first time without the charmed frost obscuring his vision. The exchange had seemed to last an eternity. He was sure his heart had stopped again when he looked into Gunnar’s dark red eyes and then Autumn’s vibrant blue ones. They were mesmerizing, and it took every ounce of power in him to pull his gaze away to the woman who had just introduced herself as his mother.
“I don’t even know if we have a god or goddess here,” he said, staring up at the stone-bound tree before him. “But if you exist, whoever you are, please . . . give me a sign so I know what to do.”
The tree only rustled in the same breeze that had been blowing through all day. A small pebble tumbled off the boulder and hit the leaf-strewn ground with a soft crunch.
Jasper stared at it, his heart pounding. He’d dealt with bullshit all his life. Being an athletic guy who attracted others with romantic, or even merely sexual, inclinations wasn’t a blessing, by his standards. He’d felt lost for years.
Sitting in the shadow of this tree, begging for answers, he felt more at home than he had in his entire life.
He may not have found any real answers, but he knew Emma and Jade were still the center of his life. As long as he did right by them, he’d do right by himself.
But on his way back down the path to the lodge, his center shifted. The lilt of Autumn’s laughter carried like the peal of a bell over the sound of the waterfall spilling into the clan’s favorite swimming spot. Deeper laughter and splashing sounds followed.
Jasper stopped and listened, stomach churning as he resisted the urge to go find them. As much as he craved their company, it was difficult to see them together knowing they would be leaving. He’d spent time with them over the last two weeks, gotten to know them, but in spite of that first moment seeing them both and tumbling through an entire galaxy of emotions, he refused to let himself get any more attached. If he admitted to his feelings, he’d be betraying his love for his family.
Yet his feet still carried him closer.
He remained in the shadows of a rhododendron, peering out over the edge of the bank to the large, flat rock that served as a beach for Autumn and Gunnar to sun themselves on between swims. Autumn lay naked, stretching luxuriously on the bare rock, her damp hair splayed out like a sunburst above her head.
A naked Gunnar rose out of the water like some kind of bacchanalian god, water sluicing off him and his pale hair slicked smooth against his skull. He strode in Jasper’s direction, his eyes fixed intently on Autumn. With a mischievous smile he bent over her and shook his head vigorously, spraying droplets of water over her skin.
Autumn shrieked and lurched up, tackling him. He let himself be pulled to the ground and pinned.
“You brat!” she said, digging her fingertips into his sides until he squirmed, deep laughter erupting from his chest.
Even though Autumn was smaller, softer around the edges, Gunnar seemed to revel in being held down by her, staring up at her defiantly.
They stared at each other for far too long, Autumn’s face mere inches above Gunnar’s as she continued to press his wrists to the rock above his head. Jasper’s pulse raced and his cock hardened at the shift in their demeanors. What had been playful a moment ago had suddenly become something wholly sensual and ripe with deeper intent.
Autumn made a slow, circular grind atop Gunnar’s hips and Jasper nearly groaned out loud at the sight. He knew what that felt like—at least through jeans and a layer of thermals—and Gunnar was stark naked and obviously aroused.
Autumn’s face closed in, her lips brushing against Gunnar’s, both their chests heaving with the tension of the moment.
In a blur of motion Gunnar had her flipped over, her arms pressed against her chest. He pulled his hips back, his erection plain between them and poised between her spread thighs.
Jasper’s chest heaved in sympathy with Gunnar’s breathless restraint. Water continued to drip down his chest onto Autumn’s bare, creamy breasts as he stared down at her, face taut with need. Something dark passed through his eyes and he shook his head. With a groan Gunnar sat back on his heels and scrubbed his hands over his face.
“Not yet. Not without him,” he said. He turned and stared over his shoulder, his expression troubled.
Autumn lay back with a sigh and closed her legs. “I know. You should probably go.” She laid a forearm over her eyes, her other hand pressed to her midsection as though she were in pain.
Gunnar started to reach out to touch her, but appeared to rethink it. Instead he frowned and stood, glared down at his engorged penis, and with a quick jog across the rock, dove into the water.
Chapter Two
Jasper didn’t see Gunnar come out of the water, but his attention was soon drawn back to Autumn. She cursed under her breath and moved her arm off her face, lowering her hand to clutch at one full breast.
“Oh, Jasper,” she murmured, tweaking her nipple.
He closed his eyes tight, his throat constricting in response to the need he heard in her tone. She’d said his name. And hell if his cock didn’t respond with a solid, aching throb.
When she let out a soft sigh, he opened his eyes again in time to see her spread her legs and dip her fingers between them.
Fuck, he shouldn’t be watching this like some kind of pervert. Yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the arcing stretch of Autumn’s stomach as her hips pushed up into her palm and she let out another soft moan of pleasure.
Jasper forced himself to move away from the sight of her. The tense stiffness between his legs kept him from getting very far. He stopped and leaned against a tree, closed his eyes, and gripped himself through his jeans.
“Jesus,” he whispered.
Another feminine moan carried through the air, along with another lusty utterance of his name. Christ, he loved how that sounded. He turned toward it, leaning his shoulder against the rough bark of the tree. He could still see Autumn through the branches of the bush he’d been concealed behind earlier. Just pieces of her, but enough to make him feel thoroughly shameful about watching.
His temples ached as much as his cock, and he only knew of one way to make that incessant pulsing stop.
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and he was suddenly aware of an all too familiar scent and warmth behind him. He tensed, dropped his hand to his side and started to turn.
A hand gripped him by the shoulder and Gunnar’s mouth pressed against his ear, hot, smooth, and sensuous enough to make Jasper dizzy from the rush of endorphins that surged through him at the contact.
In a low whisper, Gunnar said, “So you like to watch, huh? That isn’t really fair to her, you know. Or to me. Don’t you want her?”
“God, yes,” Jasper blurted before he could censor himself. “But I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” Gunnar asked, one warm hand sliding over the low rise of Jasper’s waistband, finding the bare skin just beneath the hem of his t-shirt. The delicious contact made Jasper’s stomach tighten and his pulse quicken.
He let out a gasp, followed by, “Can’t get attached. Shit. You know this, at least I . . . I thought . . . ”
“You thought avoiding us altogether would make it easier? You thought wrong, Jas. It only makes it harder.” As if to emphasize his point, Gunnar slid his hands into the front of Jasper’s jeans and gripped his cock, squeezing hard enough that Jasper couldn’t help but let out a loud, “Fuck!”
Autumn’s writhing, moaning shape abruptly froze, her head turning in their direction to listen. She came up on her side, resting on one elbow, her nostrils flaring. Could she smell them? God, she probably could. Jasper’s own abilities to shift hadn’t manifested yet, so he was still irritatingly human, compared to them. Otherwise he’d have probably been able to sense Gunnar sneaking up on him.
After a moment of testing the air, a smile crept over Autumn’s features and she simply closed her eyes, slipped her hand back between her legs, and moved her fingers again.
In a more audible tone, Gunnar said, “You shouldn’t keep this to yourself, you know. She needs it.”
“Wh-why didn’t you give . . . give her yours?” Jasper asked.
Gunnar chuckled. “You saw all that? You are as filthy as I hoped.” He lowered his voice to a low rumble that vibrated through his chest into Jasper’s back. That contact felt almost as good as the hand gripping his cock and moving with sure strokes over his swollen, heated flesh.
Jasper could only let out a frustrated groan.
“You have amazing restraint, all things considered,” Gunnar said. “She’s nearing her estrous, which makes her more and more difficult to resist. Fuck, do I want her, but I can’t just take her. When a female names her chosen mates, the ones she chooses have to mate her together.”
“What does that have to do with me?” Jasper asked, surprised by the gruffness of his voice. He tried to pull away, to turn. He reached down and tried to tug the other man’s hand out of his jeans. Gunnar held tighter, pulling Jasper back against him and the unmistakably huge erection pressed against Jasper’s ass.
Autumn’s breathy cry of his name rose up through the air again, more urgent than before, like she was, indeed, calling to him. Jasper stared through the brush at her, his mind seesawing between imagining how amazingly soft she would feel wrapped around him, and the very real, very potent stroking of the large hand working its way up and down the length of his cock.
Gunnar’s voice sounded harsh in his ear. “Do you want it all, or nothing, Stonetree? Because those are your choices. We have to leave soon. Let her mate us together.”
Jasper clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out at least half of the torment. He still couldn’t answer, his senses too overwhelmed to choose. Why did he have to choose? Why the hell did Gunnar sound so desperate?
Gunnar released him and took his hand from Jasper’s jeans. Jasper relaxed for a moment, leaning back against the tree when Gunnar moved away. He could still sense the other male’s body heat so close it made his skin prickle, and Autumn’s ecstasy continued to bombard his hearing.
Jasper couldn’t decide which part confused and terrified him more: the fact that he wanted everything Gunnar seemed to be offering, or that dark hurt that lurked inside him, that threatened a loss he didn’t know if he had the strength to endure. If he got attached to someone so strongly again, could he bear it when they rejected him?
But now he simply didn’t have the strength to say no, so he said nothing.
“Open your eyes, Jasper,” Gunnar whispered, his face so close to Jasper’s, he could feel hot breath flowing across his lips. “You might not believe what I feel is real, but I can at least try to show you. I want to look in your eyes when I make you come.”
Gunnar clutched both sides of Jasper’s head, pulling his face closer and latching his mouth onto Jasper’s. Jasper moaned against the hot, soft probing of Gunnar’s tongue. He couldn’t help but slide his hands around Gunnar’s naked torso. God, the feel of that smooth, damp skin under his palms drove him wild. His hands roamed lower, clutched at Gunnar’s ass as he tilted his hips up to rub against the naked hardness pressed against him.
In that moment he hated that he was dressed, but reveled in the beauty of the two bodies he got to see and touch. At least, one he could touch. He tore his lips away from Gunnar’s to watch Autumn again. Gunnar’s lips grazed over his jaw, brushed the curve of his ear.
“You can’t say it, can you? Why are you holding back? You’re hard from watching us both. I’ve seen how you look at her, but it scares you somehow. Why don’t I scare you?”
Gunnar released Jasper’s head and slid his hands slowly down his chest. When he reached the waistband of Jasper’s jeans, he tugged the hem of his t-shirt up and brushed fingers lightly over Jasper’s stomach. Jasper flinched, his abdomen growing taut from the ticklish sensation, but he didn’t retreat.
“You terrify me,” he said, voice rumbling so deeply with lust it surprised him how incongruous it sounded. It terrifies me that I want you both so much.
“Do you want me to stop?” Gunnar asked. He’d popped the button on Jasper’s jeans and paused, poised with the zipper tab gripped. He tugged it down a tiny bit, the slight movement causing Jasper to let out an anticipatory moan. His hard-on ached to be released.
All he could do was shake his head.
“Good, because this is how it starts with us.” Gunnar knelt gracefully in front of Jasper, lowering the zipper the rest of the way as he went.
Before Jasper could ask what he meant, Gunnar had his lips wrapped around his cock, his fist tight around the base and his other hand cupping Jasper’s balls, squeezing just enough to send a zing of pleasure straight to the top of his head.
Jasper’s head cracked against the tree and he groaned. From the clearing by the waterfall, Autumn let out a sweet cry that mimicked his. His hand went to Gunnar’s head, fingers threading through his damp hair. His hips rhythmically thrust to meet Gunnar’s mouth each time it descended, encompassing his cock with skilled ease.
The echo of a memory flashed through his mind. The first time this happened, it had nearly destroyed him, but he had been just as powerless to make it stop then as he was now.
Instead of a sun-dappled forest, it had been a steamy locker room at his college years earlier, and instead of a waterfall, the background noise had been a shower. The mouth around his cock had belonged to the assistant coach of the college rugby team he’d just joined. The coach was an attractive man about five years older than Jasper, with close-cropped blond hair and the most amazing physique Jasper had seen outside his own family.
This entire experience paralleled that ancient disaster so closely, Jasper couldn’t shake the dread. It wasn’t the blow job that had been the issue, just the fallout afterward. Being led on for several tortuous weeks, eventually confessing his love to the man, then finally enduring rejection. He spent the next few years wondering what he’d done wrong. It was the only part of his life he’d never shared with his cousin or sister.
But oh, fuck, this felt so much more amazing. He gazed down at Gunnar, mesmerized by the way his cock disappeared between Gunnar’s full lips and reappeared again. When Autumn made another breathy moan, he turned to watch her. Her hand was working faster between her legs, the other arm stretched beyond, fingers working in and out of her pussy.
Her beautiful breasts were squeezed together between her arms, the full, round globes tipped with pink nipples he could only imagine the tex
ture of on his tongue. Her cries came quicker, at a higher pitch, and Gunnar sped up his strokes on Jasper’s cock. The slick, sucking pull sent such delicious sensations through every limb. He found it tough to focus, every sense bombarded with the two of them—the sight and sound of Autumn as she cried out, hips bucking hard into her hands with her orgasm—the woody scent and feel of Gunnar, with his lips and tongue relentlessly pulling Jasper toward his own climax.
He surrendered with a long, low growl, clutched at Gunnar’s head, and spent his load deep in Gunnar’s throat. The orgasm lasted for eons, his cock pulsing with a rushing, tingling flood.
But in the clarity that followed, the heartache returned. He couldn’t repeat the experience, and knew this time, it would be so much worse.
“Fuck, I can’t do this. Not again.” Head spinning, he lurched up, shoved Gunnar away, and hurriedly fastened his jeans. Without looking back, he ran.
Jasper started to head deeper into the woods, then remembered how easily they could track him. Changing his direction, he headed back to the lodge instead. The idea of having to look his family in the eye after today left a bad taste in his mouth, but his room had a door. He’d just go up there and shut himself in until the inevitability of Autumn and Gunnar’s departure through the portal passed.
Because Emma needed her mates back far more than Jasper needed to get his rocks off.
Finally, in the shadowy solitude of the oversized bedroom, he flung himself on the bed and buried his head under his pillow. He let out a string of muffled profanity at the top of his lungs, yet it didn’t ease the ache of longing that wrapped itself around his chest, constricting like a vise.
He’d never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Autumn and Gunnar, was surprised he was even attracted to a female to begin with. His attraction to Gunnar wasn’t a surprise, not since that day in the showers with his coach. He hadn’t pursued any other men before or after that incident, but it had been the first time he seriously scrutinized his own sexuality. Jasper had always liked girls well enough, but with a sense of awe more than libidinous desire. He occasionally found himself sneaking looks at his cousin, Emma, just to try to gauge his body’s response to someone he knew he loved and cared for who wasn’t his sister, yet there was nothing beyond the same deep, abiding reverence for her.
Bitten (Black Mountain Bears Book 2) Page 2
