by Dylann Crush
“Come back inside. It’s cold out here.”
She followed him into the house and leaned against the back of a chair at the kitchen table.
Cash came up behind her. “Kenzie’s asleep.” He nuzzled his lips against her neck.
Shivers raced up and down her spine at his touch. “I’m sure she’s happy to have her daddy back.”
“Mm-hmm.” His lips trailed kisses down to her shoulder and back up again.
She wanted to moan, twist around in his arms, and lean into him. But that would only make things harder. So instead, she stiffened. “You know, it’s been a really long day.”
His hands circled her waist, coming to rest under her chest. She wouldn’t have to do much to encourage him—a gentle nudge against his crotch, a tilt of the head to give him better access. Either of those movements or her choice of many others would ensure she’d be on her back and on the receiving end of his talented hands in mere moments. As tempting as that was, she needed time to think, to plan, to figure out how to get Wade away from Holiday.
“I think I’m going to head back to the bunkhouse and hit the sack early tonight.” She ducked out of his arms to pick up the backpack she’d stuffed while he put Kenzie to bed.
His eyes narrowed slightly, like he was trying to get a read on her. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be by in the morning before she leaves for school.”
“You still upset about the snake fiasco? For what it’s worth, I texted Presley that he has to find us a new tree.”
“I know. I’m fine. Just tired.” She stood on her tiptoes to give him a peck on the cheek. He could tell something was up. But she needed to be alone to figure out a plan. Being around Cash was too distracting. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She shoved her feet into the boots she’d left by the back door.
He held the door for her. “If you change your mind…”
“I know where to find you,” she finished. Her gaze settled on him for a long moment. His jeans clung to his hips, a form-fitting T-shirt stretched over those broad shoulders, and three days’ worth of stubble covered his usually smooth cheeks. This was his home. He belonged here—with his daughter, his family, his life. Maybe she’d been wrong about fitting in.
He acted like he wanted to stop her, like he knew something was up. But he didn’t. Maybe if he had, he would have changed her mind. But she didn’t want to dump her problems on him, not when he had so much going on with his family. They needed to be his priority, not digging her out of a mess she’d found her way into all on her own. No, Wade was her fault. She needed to deal with him by herself.
Things were so much easier when she only had herself to worry about. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of being on her own again. She and Hendrix had done okay by themselves. They’d had nothing but open road between them and whatever new adventure awaited.
Part of her missed that freedom. No one counted on her. No one needed her. No one would be disappointed when she couldn’t come through for them. But spending time with Cash and Kenzie and the Walker family had shown her another option. They’d woken up a part of her that she didn’t even know existed.
And she liked it.
Which meant she’d do anything to protect them.
Even if it meant leaving.
She could beat Wade to the punch. Draw him away from Holiday, away from the people she loved.
Loved.
The realization slammed into her like a two-by-four to the head. She actually felt physical pain at the thought. She loved them. All of them. Ann, Tom, Charlie, Beck, Waylon, Darby, their posse of kids. Kids…like Kenzie. Like the unborn baby Charlie was ready to pop out any day. And Cash. Yes, him most of all. He’d shown her the path to a place inside herself she thought she’d lost.
Life was a shit shack. How could she protect them if she didn’t go? The truth pressed down on her, making her feel like Lou the longhorn was standing on her chest.
She couldn’t.
With a last look back at Cash, she carved the image of him into her mind, silhouetted by the warm light of the kitchen, the smell of gingerbread still hanging in the air. His arms were wrapped around his middle, warding off the chill, and his feet were covered in those silly striped socks she and Kenzie had bought him last time they went into town. Then she turned forward, ready to face the future she deserved.
* * *
Cash knocked on the door to the bunkhouse. Jinx had been avoiding him for the past two days. He couldn’t believe she was still that upset about the snake in the tree. They’d both been busy, him with trying to get caught up at work and her with finishing the scenery for the Christmas play. After tonight’s performance, things ought to slow down a bit. Kenzie’s break started tomorrow, and they’d have plenty of time to spend together.
He knocked again. Her footsteps came closer to the door, then it swung open. She stood in front of him, a sight for seriously sore eyes.
“Hey, Kenzie and I are going to head into town in a bit. Do you want to catch a ride with us?” He peered past her into the main room of the bunkhouse. Her backpack sat on the table, and everything else had been picked up and put away. It looked cleaner now than it had since she’d moved in.
“Dwight finished my bike and dropped it off this afternoon. I figured I’d take it out for a drive to test the new engine and meet you at the play.” She toed at the edge of the door.
He reached for her shoulder, but she backed away. “What’s wrong, Jinx? Are you still mad about that prank? I told you I’d get even with Presley.”
She gave a slight shake of the head. “No, it’s not that.”
“Then what is it? You’ve been giving me an ice-cold shoulder ever since I got back from Tulsa.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m nervous about tonight. Can we just get through the play?” She glanced up at him. Something passed across her face. Fear? Regret? For someone who spent most of his day getting a read on people, he couldn’t figure out what had happened.
“Did I do something? Whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do a thing. It’s me. This is a hard time of year for me. The past keeps coming back. But I’m working on it. I’m going to put it behind me once and for all.”
“Good.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek. She bristled but didn’t pull away. “Can we talk later? Maybe over a glass of wine after Kenzie gets to bed tonight?”
“That would be nice.” She nodded. “I’ve got to get going. I promised I’d pick up a couple of things at the mini-mart on the way. I’ll see you there.”
“I’ll be in the front row.”
She gave him a half-hearted smile and shut the door.
Cash stood on the porch for a moment, wondering what he’d done and what he needed to do to fix it. Maybe it was the holidays, like she said. He knew she missed her dad. It had to be hard to not have family this time of year.
He hopped off the porch and made his way back home, vowing to give Jinx the best holiday she’d ever had. Between him and Kenzie, they’d make her stop looking back and give her a reason to start looking forward.
A half hour later, he gave Kenzie a kiss on the cheek in the wings of the makeshift stage. He had to get back out to where he’d saved seats in the front row of the elementary school cafeteria. No way could he miss his baby’s theatrical debut.
“You got glitter on your lips.” Kenzie ran her finger over his mouth.
Gold face paint covered her cheeks. Gold glitter specks covered her sparkly star costume. His mom would probably keel over if she saw how the finished costume had turned out without her help. Jinx had somehow managed to figure out how to run the fabric through his mom’s old Singer. So what if the five points on the star weren’t exactly the same length? It was art, for crying out loud.
“Break a leg, baby.” He stood, ready to head back to the audience.
Her mouth opened in horror. “What?”
“It’s just something people say to professional actors and such. It means good luck.” He patted the top point of the star. A shower of gold sprinkles rained into her hair. She’d probably sparkle until Easter.
“Just say ‘good luck’ then.” The look she gave him was part disgust, part wonderment at his fatherly stupidity.
“Got it. Good luck, Tadpole.”
“Yeah, break a leg, Kenzie!” Jinx gave her a thumbs-up as she passed by. She’d been helping backstage, so he hadn’t seen much of her since they’d arrived.
“What is it with you people?” Kenzie turned her scowl toward Jinx.
Cash let out a laugh. “See you on the flip side. I’m recording your show for Nana and Papa, so make sure you speak up, okay?”
Kenzie nodded, sending another rainfall of glitter to the ground around her.
Cash pushed through the door into the auditorium and located his sister, just about to take her seat. She was impossible to miss. Poor Charlie seemed to have doubled in size since he had seen her last week. She and Beck hadn’t found out the gender of the baby; they wanted it to be a surprise. Based on the size of her stomach, he had to assume she had a future Aggie linebacker in there.
“Hey.” He lifted what appeared to be a horse blanket off his sister’s shoulders.
“My coat doesn’t fit anymore. I’ve been reduced to wearing a blanket around my shoulders. Can you believe it?” She groaned as Cash helped her lower onto the uncomfortable folding chair.
“Where’s Beck?” Cash scanned the overfilled lunchroom for a glimpse of his brother-in-law. He usually didn’t stray more than a few feet from his wife’s side these days.
“He ran back to the truck for my cushion. Nobody tells you about the hemorrhoids. I had no idea being pregnant was so glamorous.” She looked miserable. He didn’t remember Lori Lynne being so cranky at the end.
“Hang in there, Sis. Only a few more days, right?” The doctor said he’d induce on Monday if she hadn’t delivered by then. Plenty of time for his mom and dad to get back to town.
“I don’t know if I’m going to make it. Feels like this kid is going to shoot out at any moment.” She leaned against the back of the chair. “Can you help me get my shoes off? Everything’s too tight. I had to throw on Beck’s boots in order to leave the house.”
Cash leaned down and worked on releasing her swollen feet from Beck’s well-worn work boots. Thank God women were the ones who got pregnant. He’d been through every kind of natural disaster and traumatic situation he could think of, but this forty-week misery would have done him in a long time ago. With Charlie settled, at least for the time being, he made his way down the line of relatives and friends who’d come out to watch the show. Even Presley had managed to get there on time. He’d be pissed as hell when he realized Cash had arranged for someone to cover his precious Jeep in red and green tinsel while he watched the show. But he’d get over it.
Cash’s heart swelled with a newfound love and appreciation for the bonds of family. He’d closed off his emotions for so long after Lori Lynne had left. He’d been so bitter about what he’d lost, he couldn’t appreciate what he still had. Now, all that had changed.
Darby passed out snacks to her brood, negotiating with them for forty-five minutes of good behavior. Statler pushed buttons on his phone, probably answering work emails or something. Presley took a swig from a flask he tucked back into his jacket pocket. When would someone come along and tame his youngest brother of his wild ways? At least he’d shown up. The only ones missing were his parents and Strait. He’d hoped his long-lost brother would make it home for the holidays this year, but something he wasn’t willing to talk about yet kept him away.
As the lights dimmed, Beck slid into the seat next to Charlie. Cash pulled out his phone, ready to capture the show so his parents and Kenzie could watch it for years to come.
The play started with a group of kids and their dog, played by a very bedazzled Hendrix, bemoaning the fact that they didn’t have money to buy Christmas presents or decorations for the holidays. Then the Christmas fairy descended from a cloud and told them if they could find the spirit of Christmas, they’d be rewarded. Cash laughed along with the rest of the crowd as the kids and Hendrix went on a scavenger hunt, looking for the mysterious spirit. They traipsed through a cookie-making contest, searched through a crowded mall, and stumbled over people watching the annual tree-lighting ceremony in downtown Holiday, complete with a reenactment of the tree topple in which Hendrix played himself as a kid in a pig costume chased him around the stage. Along the way, they helped some elderly people carry their packages to the car, located the lost parents of a kid at the tree festival, and helped a group of younger kids finish their cookies before the timer went off.
At the end of the play, the kids returned home to find the Christmas fairy had decorated their house with larger-than-life decorations. Kenzie delivered the last line of the play as the glowing star on top of the tree. When the spotlight hit her, the reflection from the pounds of gold glitter sent dazzling sparkles throughout the audience like a holiday disco ball.
Cash jumped to his feet along with the rest of the crowd, hooting and whistling their appreciation. Everyone but Charlie. She sat bent over with her giant belly drooping between widespread legs, huffing and puffing. Beck clenched her hand, coaching her through what appeared to be a strong contraction.
“Now? This is happening now?” Cash put a hand on Charlie’s back as she practiced her breathing techniques.
“Sorry I don’t have better timing.”
Cash shifted into emergency responder mode. “Darby, can you tell Jinx I had to go? Will you see if she can grab Kenzie and maybe give them a ride back to the house?”
Darby nodded.
“Beck, I’m going to go get the truck. Meet you out front in two minutes, okay?”
“I’ll have her there. Thanks.”
Satisfied they had a plan, Cash stood to assess the best exit point from the school. Throngs of proud parents surged toward the stage. No sense in trying to sneak out that way. He turned his attention toward the doors. His odds of a quick departure didn’t look good that way either. Forced to choose quickly, he opted for the back of the building. He nudged through the crowd, catching a glimpse of Jinx helping Kenzie down from her perch on the top of the plywood tree.
He tried to get her attention, but there were too many people between them. She’d never be able to hear him with all the chatter. His breath caught as she drew Kenzie in for a huge hug. He’d been so lucky to have her fall into their lives. It was time to start thinking about settling down. For real this time.
But first, he had to find a way to get to the front of the school to pick up his sister. He burst through the delivery door onto the receiving dock at the back of the school. This was worse than trying to get out of the parking lot on the last night of the Conroe County Fair. Why had the church next door decided to have their live nativity on the same night as the school play? Lines of cars snaked through the shared lot. Drivers honked. People flooded the parking lot, stepping between cars, totally disregarding any kind of traffic rules. Or common sense.
Cash barreled through the lot toward the truck with one thought on his mind—no niece or nephew of his was going to be born in the elementary school cafeteria where he’d grown up shooting spitballs at the ceiling.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jinx scanned the texts that had been lighting up her phone throughout the performance. Wade was close. His messages taunted her, detailing the things he’d do to the people she loved if she didn’t show.
Now to get Kenzie to her dad without losing the shred of control she’d managed to hang on to. She wouldn’t say goodbye. She couldn’t without suffering a complete emotional breakdown. And she didn’t have time for that.
“Should we see if we can find yo
ur dad?” Jinx took Kenzie’s smaller hand in hers. She’d miss this. To say she’d grown fond of Kenzie would be a lie. The little girl had taken hold of her heart like no one ever had before. She had a knack for worming her way in, past all Jinx’s protective barriers. It wouldn’t happen again; Jinx would make sure of that. Losing her dad had been one thing—she hadn’t had a choice but to love him. Losing Kenzie and Cash would be a thousand times more devastating. She’d known the risks of opening up her heart to them and had done it anyway. She wouldn’t make that kind of mistake again.
She should have known better. She was jinxed, doomed to destroy anyone and everyone who dared to get close to her.
Kenzie gave her hand a squeeze and held Hendrix’s leash in her other. “Do you think Daddy saw me say my line?”
“Of course he did.” Everyone in the room had been watching Kenzie. But Jinx had been watching Cash. The look of love and pride on his face had made her struggle to draw in a breath. That’s what love between a daddy and his little girl should look like. That’s the kind of love she’d felt from her own dad before he was taken away from her. She’d do absolutely everything within and even push the boundaries of things out of her control to make sure nothing she said or did would risk that sacred bond.
“Hendrix did real good too.” Kenzie lifted the dog up to her face, laughing as he spread kisses over her cheeks.
Darby flagged them down over the heads of the kindergarteners standing between them. “Cash had to go. Charlie’s in labor. Y’all need a ride home or to the hospital?”
“Can we go see the baby be born? Can we?” Kenzie bounced up and down. She’d been obsessed with worry about missing the baby’s delivery. She and Jinx had had many conversations in which Kenzie had grilled her on where babies came from and how they got in and out of their mommy’s tummies. Jinx had tried to talk around the topic so many times that now Kenzie had some confused notion that there would be a window that would open up in her aunt’s stomach and the baby would just pop out like the drive-thru at Whataburger.
