“Jace,” Josie murmured.
“I don’t have a good reputation. I’m not a nice guy. I’ve already told you I should be in jail. And if someone comes at my brother again… I might end up there.”
“Shh,” she hushed and laid her hand on my face. “I know who you are, Jace.”
I couldn’t help but feel I was more when she looked at me the way she was right then.
“I come with a lot of baggage.” She cautioned.
“No more than the rest of us.”
“It will be hard on you being with me. Your career is taking off. I—”
“Are you saying no to me?” I intoned. I wasn’t taking no for an answer, especially not when I saw the yes right there in her eyes.
“I—” And there it was, that little bit of hesitation I saw last night. That little bit of whatever she wasn’t saying. She sighed. “No. I’m not saying no.”
“You want to be with me?” I asked, laying it all out.
“More than anything,” she whispered.
I kissed her deeply, then pulled her into my chest, wrapping her up in my arms. Today was a good fucking day.
“Jace?” Her voice was barely audible against my chest. Still, I’d know my name on her lips anywhere.
“Yeah?”
“Just know… whenever you want out, I’ll understand. I won’t make it hard on you.”
Did she think I was some kind of little bitch who ran at the first sign of struggle? “I’m not gonna want out, Josie.”
She said something. Even though it wasn’t clear, it sure sounded a lot like, “I hope not.”
Her face stayed pressed into my chest for long moments as I lay there with her in my arms and wondered.
Suddenly, she lifted her head. “So does this mean I won’t pull up to any of your street races and find a rat with her hands all over you?”
My lips twitched. “Why would I want a rat when I have you?”
Her voice turned rueful. “I seriously thought about running her over with my car.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“I’m gonna get ready. You have to feed me and give me caffeine before you take me to the plane.”
“Food and coffee?” I teased. “You’re a lot of work.”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. I knew she was thinking about the out she put on the table. The one she promised to make easy when I decided to run.
I wasn’t running anywhere.
Again, I wondered why she thought I’d be so eager to get away.
Joey
Three days. That’s how long it’d been seen I’d seen him last. It wasn’t like the last time, though. We talked now. Every day.
I never pegged Jace for a guy who called. But he did.
And he texted.
We didn’t sit on the phone for hours; our calls were usually only a few minutes. But they were meaningful and all I needed.
Even so, after three days, I started to think about when I would see him again. When Drew called and told me he was coming to Charlotte for my race, I knew that meant Jace’s schedule was clear, too.
So I texted him.
He texted back.
It gave me butterflies in my stomach.
I was going to see him again. This time, I’d see even more of him than last weekend, because this time he was coming just for me.
My race was Sunday, but we decided to fly out Friday morning. My car would get there Saturday and would need to be inspected, etc., and I was always there for that. A racer’s car was their most valuable and important asset. Making sure mine was in top shape was crucial.
Plus, it would give me the day to get in the frame of mind to race.
Trent and Drew got into town Thursday afternoon. They’d been here so much the last few weeks I was beginning to think it was odd when they weren’t. The room they stayed in was now Drew and Trent’s room, and even the housekeeper asked when they would be here next.
I loved Drew; he was quite possibly my best friend. But Trent was a close second. He’d become the one I always wanted advice from. The one I thought of first when I needed to talk. He was simple to talk to. He didn’t make things convoluted or even analyze them like women tended to do. Trent was straightforward, he was honest, and he had a capacity for understanding that in a lot of ways took me by surprise.
I was standing in my walk-in closet with a suitcase open before me when he barged right in.
“Hope you aren’t naked,” he said as he stepped in.
He wasn’t even covering his eyes.
I rolled my eyes. “What do you want?” I asked fondly.
He dropped onto the rug beside my suitcase. “Drew’s in the shower.”
“And you aren’t with him?” I arched an eyebrow.
His smile was slow. “You have a dirty mind.”
“Please,” I muttered and turned back to my clothes.
I don’t know why it suddenly seemed so hard to pack. I’d traveled to races a thousand times, and it was always the same, jeans and T-shirts. Now I stood here and debated which jeans with which shirt and what color.
I was kinda annoyed with myself.
“I wanted to check in. See how it’s going.”
“With Jace?” I asked knowingly.
“Pretty much.”
I gave up on my perusal of the clothes hanging around and sat on the floor near him.
“He’s a lot more than people think,” I confided.
Trent tilted his head. “Good or bad?”
“Good.”
“You seen him since the race?”
I shook my head. “He’ll be in Charlotte this weekend.”
“You want him to be?” Trent pressed.
He was totally giving off the overprotective big brother vibe. I kinda liked it.
“Yeah. I do.”
“All I needed to hear.” He grunted and stood.
I felt my forehead wrinkle. “What?”
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, turning to go.
“Where are you going?” I called after him.
“To take a shower,” he answered.
The sound of him leaving my bedroom was distinct. I laughed and got to my feet. “What a weirdo,” I told no one.
I sighed. Trying to pick clothes was a pain in the ass. I decided to go back to my usual style of packing and just throw some stuff in there. My hand closed over a dark pair of skinny jeans and sleeveless loose white top. I tossed it in, turned back, and reached for a sundress.
What? It’s super-hot in the South during summer. A sundress would be comfortable.
It was made of lightweight cotton in a simple A-line shape that would show off my hourglass shape. It was white with a pattern of tiny flowers all over it. The size and pale coloring of pink and green kept it from looking like grandma’s curtains.
Okay, fine. It was girly. The girliest thing I owned.
Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice.
After I added that, I went for a pair of army-green cotton shorts and a fitted black T-shirt with cap sleeves. Putting something that was more my usual style in there after the dress made me feel a little more like myself.
Now all that was needed was the stuff I would wear to race in and my shower shoes. I spun around to get them and noticed a large figure hovering in the door of my closet.
I shrieked and pressed a hand to my chest.
“Jace!”
“You look pretty cute standing there scowling over your clothes,” he mused.
“I do not!” I argued. Suddenly, I felt out of breath and excited. “What are you doing here?”
He pushed out of the doorway and prowled toward me. “I didn’t feel like waiting ‘til tomorrow night to see you.”
He was close enough I had to tilt my head slightly to stare into his rich, dark eyes. “You drove all the way down here to see me a day early?”
A playful smirk tugged his lips. “I could tell you missed me.”
“I missed
you?” I scoffed.
I felt his hand tug on the knot tied in my shirt, and reality came crashing into the moment of seeing him here, in my room.
Oh my God. I looked like crap!
There I go again with the girl drama…
But seriously! I was dressed in a pair of crop sweatpants and a white T-shirt that was too big, so I’d tied it in a knot on the side of my waist. My hair was wild with curls. I barely even tried to tame it today.
I looked like I was from the eighties.
“How’d you get in here!” I demanded. And why wasn’t I given a warning?
“I’m assuming it was the housekeeper who let us in. Drew and Trent were in the kitchen eating everything in sight.”
“Arrow came, too? Trent and Drew know you’re here?” Trent hadn’t said a word to me!
He nodded once but scowled; a dark look stole over his features. “Trent wouldn’t let me come in here until he was sure you wanted to see me.”
I fought a smile and lost. That’s why he’d really come in here. “He’s sweet.”
Jace’s eyes narrowed. “He tried to keep me from you.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re in here, aren’t you?”
“Speaking of…” he growled, grabbing me by the waist and lifting me off my feet. My legs wound around his waist naturally. “Aren’t you gonna show me how happy you are I’m here?”
I kissed him—went right in and locked my lips on his. Our tongues stroked together as I wiggled a little closer against him.
“You look fucking hot in sweatpants,” he said when I lifted my mouth.
“I look even better without them.”
His quick grin was thrilling and rather wolfish. Carrying me, he stepped out of the closet and strode into my bedroom toward my pillow-filled bed and literally tossed me right in the center. I giggled as I sank into the down-filled comforter like I’d fallen into a cloud.
Jace ripped the T-shirt he was wearing off his body and tossed it over his shoulder. The jeans he wore were like always, a little loose and not to committed to hiding his hips. My hands slid through his hair, ruffling the strands as he crawled over me and claimed my mouth.
“Where’s Arrow?” I gasped, ripping my mouth free even as my hands explored his bare back.
“With Drew and Trent. They’re watching a movie or some shit,” he said, nuzzling against the side of my neck.
“The door,” I groaned, thinking of the guys’ habit of barging in.
“I locked it on my way in,” he informed me, even as the knot in my shirt came untied and he went up beneath it to kiss my breast over the cotton bralette I was wearing.
“Oh God, Jace. I missed you.” I groaned.
Over my breast, his mouth stilled. I became self-conscious of my words. It was the first time I’d told him that. It was the closest I’d come to really admitting how much he’d come to mean to me.
Slowly, he pulled back from beneath my shirt. His hair was totally mussed when he glanced up.
“Say it again, Josie,” he demanded, a deep rasp in his words.
The hungry glint in his eyes made me want to give him more. It made me feel like I’d been withholding things he needed to hear and feel.
I surged up and grabbed his face. The roughness of his jaw was a contrast to the smoothness of his cheeks. I made sure to look directly in his eyes and nowhere else when I spoke.
“I missed you, Jace,” I whispered. “So much.” His lips pulled up, and I ran my thumb along his lower lip. Even quieter, I said, “No one’s ever made me feel like you do.”
This time when he kissed me, it was different. Less fierce but more consuming. Less desperate but more secure.
I gave in to him, to the feelings consuming the air around us. I felt more aware of him moving inside me tonight than I ever had before. Everything was amplified, and the slowness with which he made love to me caused a drunk feeling to settle over my limbs and mind.
He was a blanket, heavy and warm; offering shelter and comfort. His body muffled everything else.
I succumbed to it all. To him.
Lorhaven
I handed her my heart last night.
And quite possibly a piece of my soul.
She didn’t ask for either, but sometimes the very best things in life are given without request.
Joey
Friday and Saturday passed in a blur of travel, work, and sex.
Jace and Arrow hopped on our short flight to Charlotte, and surprisingly, everyone got along.
Everyone = Jace + Trent + Drew.
What was even more surprising was the way Jace was with me in front of everyone else. He treated me the exact same way as when we were alone.
Well, except he left my clothes on.
Yeah, we were kinda official (totally official), but there was no easing into it with him. It was all or nothing. He held my hand in public, draped his arm around me on the plane. Kissed me often, no matter who was in the room.
If Drew snickered when it happened, Jace’s response was totally tame.
Totally tame = giving Drew the finger. Sometimes both at once.
A girl could get used to that kind of thing.
It frightened me.
I didn’t want to get used to something I would miss if it went away.
In the beginning, I thought what Jace and I had was some sort of chemical reaction. A sexual compatibility unlike anything I’d felt before.
It went deeper than that. Much, much deeper.
I never meant to fall for him. Hell, I didn’t even mean to like him. But here I was, totally in love, while in the back of my mind, I wondered if it would last.
I wasn’t a fan of doubt or clouds hanging over my head. I was straightforward, so I expected everything else to be.
The way I saw it, I had one of two choices:
1.) Walk away.
Or
2.) Tell him.
Walking away wasn’t an option. I’d make it three steps before the invisible chain he unknowingly shackled around my heart would tug me back.
So I’d tell him. I’d say out loud what I hadn’t before. My secret. Even my dumb past. It could change the way he saw me. That expression in his eyes every time he looked at me could shift. The loss of it would cut deep.
Still, I’d rather hurt than torture myself with doubt every second of every day.
Not ‘til after the race, though. Focusing on the track, the win, and my career was my immediate goal. Having Jace in the pit today was like an extra boost of motivation. I wanted to impress him. I wanted to show him I belonged on this track.
I was a damn fine driver. No matter what else happened, of that I was sure.
So far, I was proving it.
Adrenaline was a cocktail in my veins today. I felt like I had an invisible IV of the stuff flowing right into my bloodstream. Despite the rush, my hands were steady on the steering wheel as I guided my car around the track.
I was doing it today. I was proving to everyone I could hack it. Only five laps to go, three cars to pass, and everyone would see me at the top, and then maybe they’d all shut up about a pro going indie. Maybe they’ll all shut up about women drivers.
My back was sweaty from being strapped in the cab for so long. The vibration of the powerful car beneath me was no less noticeable than it was when I was on lap one. My brain almost hurt from the concentration I put in today, but for some reason, this race seemed more important. Crucial to my career somehow.
Maybe it was because of the interviews lately and the way I sort of bombed them all. Maybe it was because I knew people were watching me more closely than before because I was planning on going indie.
Or maybe it was because I was giving all these dick-toting drivers around me a run for their money.
I grinned as I stared at the bumper of the guy behind me. Yeah, I liked that one.
“Watch it!” my spotter yelled in my ear, and I looked up in time to see a car drafting nearby. I pulled away, doing my best not to swer
ve out too far and throw my car into a spin. It was a fine line driving at speeds like this.
“What the fuck!” I yelled, straightening out. “He tried to take me out!”
“We’re getting down to the final laps, Joey. Tension’s building. I feel it.”
Why did that sound like a warning and not a pep talk?
“Ease over,” he said in my ear. “The car behind you is still really close. He might try and clip you again.”
I glanced behind me. He was definitely too close for comfort. Something in my stomach clenched, but I forced the feeling away and turned back around. Don’t look behind you. Only look ahead.
Through my windshield, I focused on the guy I needed to pass up. I’d know that car anywhere. It was one of my “team members.” Notice the quotation marks? Yeah, there’s a reason for them. He was a total douche nozzle, and I hated him. What’s more? He hated me.
I wanted to place ahead of him more than I wanted to actually win this race.
We’d been trailing each other most of the day. I could almost feel his satisfaction that I’d yet to pass him.
“I’m going for the pass up ahead.” I spoke into my mic.
“What? It’s too soon.” He worried.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not. I need to take him now so I can get even farther ahead on the next lap.
“Yeah, okay, try doing it on the inside.”
“He’s totally going to pull to the inside,” I argued, my hands tightening on the wheel. “That’s Cannon’s M.O.”
“Passing on the outside is too risky.”
I ignored him. He knew I could do this. He was just being cautious. This was another example of why it was hard being a racer when I was my father’s daughter. Spotters were scared. If they encouraged me to make a move that ended in a fiery crash—or worse, death—the fear of what my father would do to them was intense.
“I’m doing it.”
“I’m going to advise against it.”
I shoved the mic away from my ear and down my chin. Fuck him! His refusal only made me more determined.
The curve came up. I shifted and prepared to move. The driver on my ass swung in because I moved out just a hair. All at once, his speed punched up, his front end came barreling at my rear, and I knew he was aiming to take me out.
#Swag (GearShark #3) Page 24
