Deep down beneath it all was Jace.
A man who loved fiercely. A man who was hurt by a father whose humanity got in the way of being a good parent. A man who was haunted by the things Lorhaven did to protect his brother.
“You have a black soul but a heart of gold,” I told him.
“You like gold?” He sidled up to me again, warmth in his gaze.
“I love it.”
“I’m with you,” he said low but no less ferocious. “I do value your independence and your strength, but you don’t have to be strong all the time, not with me. With me, you can have a little softness.”
It’s what I want. I want to be strong and soft. I want someone to understand both.
“Do you trust me?” he asked, taking my face in his hands and lifting it.
It was a no-brainer. “Yes.”
“Trust I won’t do anything that will demean you or shove you behind me. Also, trust I’ll step in when I see fit, and it’s only because I love you.”
I gave in. There was no part of me that could resist even just a small part of him. “I love you, Jace.”
“It’s me and you now, Josie. Not just you.”
“Us,” I murmured.
“Us.” He agreed.
“And Arrow,” I added.
His mouth curved up. “My bro is part of the package, but I don’t want you thinking you’re any less important. You aren’t.” He gave me a squeeze.
“I know.” I leaned forward, sliding my arms around his waist. I thought about mentioning how I thought Arrow was headed toward becoming an “us,” but I had a feeling that wasn’t going to be something Jace would be too thrilled about. Seemed like we were already dealing with enough today, so I decided to keep that thought to myself.
“So we good?” he asked against my hair.
“I’m good if you are.” The nervous, breathless way I felt was giving way to giddiness. He loved me. He wanted me as I was, and I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t.
And for once, it didn’t scare me that in order to be accepted as I was, I in turn had to accept him for who he was.
I loved him.
He loves me.
“Just promise me you won’t keep this shit from me ever again. When something happens, anything, I want to know about it.”
Oh, it was hard to relinquish even a little control. “Okay. Same goes for you.”
Jace pulled back. My nose wrinkled when I watched him hock a loogie into the palm of his hand. Then he held the same nasty, loogified hand out to me.
“Shake on it,” he said.
“Ew!” I squealed and knocked his hand away. “That’s disgusting!”
He rolled his eyes and wiped his hand down the front of his shirt. Ew. “Everyone wants to be a dude until they gotta spit-shake on it.”
I punched him in the arm (I wasn’t about to touch his nasty shirt). “Wanting to take care of myself does not make me a dude.”
He laughed. It was more of a cackle than anything.
One thing was for sure: things with Jace would never ever be dull.
I wanted to throw myself at him, but my body was too sore, too battered for the movement. Instead, I stepped up close, and he folded my body into his. The next thing I knew, his hands were tangled in the cotton of his/my shirt, and we were kissing like we hadn’t kissed in years.
Eventually, his mouth ripped free and his eyes darkened. “I need to get you some ice for your face and your neck.”
“I don’t want ice.” I fingered the waistband of his jeans. “I want you.”
“You look like shit, Josie, and honestly? I’m fucking scared I’ll hurt you.” He punctuated his honesty by lifted my hand and brushing a kiss across the knuckles that were red and puffy from when I punched Cannon. “This feel broken?” he murmured.
I shook my head.
“That’s good.” He kissed them again.
“Jace, please,” I whispered. Emotion clogged my throat again, a sort of desperate feeling washing over me. Despite knowing he loved me even after he knew the truth, I was still so weepy.
“I can’t say no to you, Josie.” He brushed a kiss over my mouth. “But none of the ‘harder Jace, more Jace’ tonight. I won’t do it. Slow. Easy. Sweet.” As he spoke, he kissed me in between his words. The sound of his voice coupled with the feel of his lips was the ultimate aphrodisiac.
“You know everyone is going to be at our door soon,” I half moaned.
Jace thrust his hips into me, still pressing gentle kisses to my face. “They’ll wait.”
Impatiently, I tugged at his shirt. He lifted up so I could pull it completely away. His body was warm and hard beneath my hands. I wanted to touch him everywhere all at once, and I wanted to feel his skin on mine.
His low chuckle filled the room and vibrated against my cheek. “Easy…”
“Jace,” I warned, a desperate note in his name.
His body pushed up, and I reached for his jeans. The second they were unbuttoned and unzipped, he lost them, along with his boxer briefs. I was sitting, and he was on his knees in front of me.
Immediately, I slipped my mouth down over his rigid length. He groaned, his movements stalled out, but then he recovered and pulled at my shirt. I released him only long enough for it to come over my head before I dove back down and sucked deep.
Jace’s fingers kneaded my shoulders as I sucked him deep. One hand was wrapped firmly around the base of his rod, and the other reached between his legs and up to cup his ass.
Jace made a deep, throaty sound, grabbed my head, and held it still.
With my lips still wrapped around him, he began to move, taking control of my blow job and pumping his dick in and out of my mouth. He wasn’t rough. If anything, he was slow just like he said. It was maddening, nothing but a tease.
The fingers against his ass tightened and pushed him closer, urging him on.
He laughed but didn’t increase his pace. Instead, he kept it easy and gentle but somehow still thoroughly fucked my mouth, and I loved every second of it. He was rigid and smooth. The way he felt gliding against my tongue and rubbing over and over against my lips made my own hips start to gyrate toward him.
Suddenly, Jace pulled back, leaving my mouth without any warning.
“I want more,” I told him.
He chuckled and pushed me back into the mattress so he could strip off the rest of the boyshorts. When I was as naked as him, I held out my hands, wanting to fill them up again.
He towered over me on his knees, hair fell down into his eyes, his lips were red and puffy, and his cock stood at attention. The corded muscles in his arms stood out like he was trying to hold himself back, but that’s not what I wanted.
I wanted him unleashed. The look in his eyes told me he knew it and he relished holding it back.
I sat up abruptly, grabbed his hips, and pulled him toward my mouth. He resisted, but only long enough to collapse beside me and grab my hips.
He guided me so I was above him, and the second I knew his intent, I shifted, both my knees dropping to the mattress on either side of Jace’s head. I bent at the waist, my head facing a proudly jutting cock, and grabbed hold. I dragged my tongue over his head, tasted the salty flavor of his pre-release.
He made a sound of appreciation and ran a hand up the inside of my thigh. I shuddered when his fingers parted my folds and his tongue licked my slit.
With him in my mouth, I moaned, my legs shaking.
We continued that way for long minutes, torturing each other with oral pleasure until I lifted my head on a gasp. “Jace,” I demanded. “I can’t.”
“Right across my tongue, Josie,” he said, then went back to work with his mouth.
Small sounds began to rumble out of me. I grabbed hold of his cock, slick from my mouth, and pumped him hard as a wave of ecstasy overtook my body.
It was so powerful I collapsed, let go of his length, and went boneless over him, even as the orgasm still rolled.
Jace supported my
hips and lower body, holding me up, and continued to work me with his tongue and fingers. I couldn’t stop shuddering. Just when I thought I would stop, a new wave would crash over me and I would moan helplessly again.
“Oh my God,” I breathed when he lowered me.
Jace grunted, satisfied with the complete ruin of any control I had over my own limbs.
Gently, he rolled so I was beneath him, and in one easy push, he filled me completely. I grabbed onto his biceps and hung on. I tried to work beneath him, but I wasn’t much help considering how spent I was from the orgasm that went on and on.
Something told me that was his plan all along, to make it so I couldn’t go at him like I usually did. I couldn’t even be disappointed because he was protecting me but also satisfying me.
“Jace,” I whimpered when he was balls deep.
He lowered, elbows on either side of my head, and kissed me soft and slow. The gentleness ripped a hole in my heart.
Jace made me feel so much, so fast, and all at once. I was overwhelmed in the best way and overcome by someone I never even saw coming.
It’s like he’d been there for a while but in my blind spot. The second he pulled up beside me, it was all over. I was all over.
He was it for me.
Between his luxurious kisses and the way he was moving so completely inside me, I told him, “I love you.”
His body went taut. I saw the change in his eyes when he pulled back and looked down. I cupped his face as he came apart and filled my center with his release.
When he was done, both his arms slipped around me, holding my body between his chest and the mattress. There was a tenderness to him I don’t think anyone would ever believe he possessed. I was glad. I liked having that part of him for myself. Only for me.
He whispered he loved me right beside my ear.
It felt like every road I’d ever driven was to get me right here with him.
My drive wasn’t over; neither was his. But from now on, we weren’t driving alone.
We had each other.
Lorhaven
It wasn’t often in life people surprised me. The truth was most people weren’t that great. We all had our demons, skeletons rattling deep in the closet.
It was very rare for anyone to remain innocent or untouched by life in general. I didn’t know anyone—not one person—who wasn’t slightly jaded or damaged.
Because of that, people weren’t that hard to read, not if you really paid attention. For me, paying attention was sort of a reflex, a defense mechanism. The faster and clearer you could spot someone’s true character, the easier it was to protect yourself or those you cared about.
I’d known Josie had a hard time in the pro division from almost the second we sat down at the GearShark interview.
I couldn’t have guessed just how hard, though.
The events and truths that unfolded today caught me off guard. I’d always known she was a strong woman, but I don’t think I quite realized just how strong she was.
Holy fuck, what they put her through.
Holy fuck, what she endured in silence.
I could have killed Cannon. Maybe I would have if she hadn’t been there looking close to falling off her feet.
It was just like back then… back when I found Arrow and went in search of the men who hurt him. Unrestrained anger was a powerful thing. It overruled reason, right and wrong… hell, even value for someone else’s life.
After that night years ago when Kurt pulled me off those guys, essentially saving their lives, I walked around with a question deep inside me.
Did murderous rage live deep inside me? Was it a one-time thing or a permanent character flaw that would always make me wonder what would set me off next?
Tonight proved two things:
1.) It wasn’t a one-time thing.
And
2.) It wasn’t unrestrained.
What lived inside me couldn’t be classified as such because both times, I’d been restrained. The dense, angry fog that settled over me had been reached through, reminding me there was more to lose than just some asshole’s life.
I understood now.
I loved fiercely.
So fiercely it had the ability to throw me into a tailspin, but it also had the ability to pull me back out.
Love was a catalyst and a hindrance for me at the very same time.
No wonder I was so stingy with who I gave it out to. Not everyone was worth the extremes of this emotion.
But Josie was.
All those times I felt she was holding something back, that there was more to her she wanted to say but wasn’t ready… It all came out.
I saw all of her tonight.
And I loved her.
There was fragility in strength not many people ever saw, certainly not in Josie’s case. But I saw more clearly now than ever.
I was sorry it took everything that happened tonight to bring it all to light. Having her wrapped around me right now, though, listening to her even breathing and feeling the relaxation in her limbs, I secretly thought perhaps it all had been worth it.
Don’t get me wrong. The fingerprints on her neck, the damage to her throat and face… I could do without ever seeing that. But now there was nothing between us. We were all in.
I wasn’t an I anymore. We were an us.
It was a strange thought… but I liked it.
I also liked the way she protested when I slid from beneath her as my phone went off continuously.
I’ll be real. It made me feel like the fucking man.
The chick just couldn’t get enough.
I got up anyway, though. You know how I said today brought everything out in the open? Well, I hadn’t meant just for Josie. It stirred up some older, deep wounds for my brother as well.
I’d seen it in his eyes and the paleness of his cheeks back at the track, just before I’d taken Josie out of there. Now that she and I had us worked out, my thoughts turned directly to my brother. I wondered if he was okay, if sitting in his hotel room alone was fucking with his head.
He was the only person that had the ability to get me out of bed with my woman. But I had to make sure he didn’t need me.
It wasn’t him on the phone, though.
It was Forrester.
However, the call was what led me to the door I stood in front of right now, knocking. My brother cracked open the door a few seconds later, peering out like some little old woman.
“You embarrass me,” I told him.
He rolled his eyes, sprang the door open, and gestured for me to come in.
The rich scent of coffee filled the room, and I inhaled with appreciation and a bit of surprise. “You made coffee?”
My brother didn’t drink coffee very often.
“There’s no beer,” he grumped.
I laughed. I kept the hangar stocked at home because little bro here wasn’t quite twenty-one and couldn’t go buy it on his own.
Yeah, yeah… Don’t give me that shit about contributing to a minor. My brother earned the right to drink. He was an adult, and I didn’t care what the fuck his driver’s license said.
“I need some,” I said, going right to the still partially full pot and pouring some into a cheap cup the hotel provided. Once the cup was full, I poured in about four packets of sugar.
I liked my coffee like I liked my women. Dark, hot, and sweet… with just a little bit of bite (hence, no creamer).
When it was mixed together, I leaned against the dresser and stared at him as I took a sip. Arrow was dressed in a pair of blue basketball shorts and no shirt. The sleeve of tattoos wrapped around his arm were on full display, as was the tattoo of the arrow on his neck.
Yes, an arrow. Because of his name.
He was a thin guy, but over the past year, he’d really filled out. His chest and shoulders had some definition, and his arms were toned. Arrow’s skin was paler than mine, but he spent a lot of time in the sun at the airstrip, working on the cars outside, so he al
ways had a tan.
The long, very blond hair on top of his head was swept over to the side like always, the sides and back cut very short. There wasn’t an ounce of stubble in sight on his jawline, and sometimes I couldn’t help but think he had a baby face because it was so smooth all the time.
He had brown eyes like me, but they were more of a hazel color, with a lot more lightness in their depths. His full mouth was pulled into the eternal pout he always seemed to wear. For a long time, I thought he was just trying to look broody for the ladies…
Then I found out he was gay.
So maybe the guys liked broody, too.
Nope. That was just his lips. Pouty.
“Why aren’t you with Joey?” he asked, watching me the same way I watched him.
“She needed a few.”
“Is she okay?” That slightly haunted look I recognized earlier at the track floated behind his eyes.
“Yeah, she’s good. Well, I wouldn’t say good, but she’s better than she was.”
“What the hell happened?” he asked, sitting down on the side of the bed.
“She’s been enduring a lot of abuse, a lot of bullying… She never said anything,” I replied, watching him closely.
He swallowed, the Adam’s apple in his throat bobbing. “That why you beat up that driver?”
“That bothered you, did it?” I asked, drinking more of the coffee. I could feel the caffeine starting to filter into my bloodstream, and I had to admit it was welcome.
He shrugged.
“It brought up some shit for me, too,” I told him. I’d spent a lot of time working on making sure he knew he could talk to me, because with Arrow, bottling up on the inside was a dangerous thing. So I had no problem telling him it brought up the past for me, especially if it made it easier for him to admit the same.
“I wasn’t even there… but it still reminded me, you know?” He spoke low, not looking at me.
I drank more of the brew and thought about what he said. Arrow wasn’t there when I beat those three men nearly to death. He learned about it later. When I came back with busted-up hands, he knew what I’d done, but I don’t think he realized just how far it had gone until our father had to buy me out of a trial and attempted murder charges.
#Swag (GearShark #3) Page 30
