“Turns out she was searching for you.”
“Me?” Ben’s eyes grew bigger.
Instead of trying to explain myself, I reached in my bag and pulled out the letter and photograph. “You might recognize these,” I spoke as I slid them across the table.
Ben looked at the photograph for a long while not saying a word.
“Do you remember Dad?” Bo asked.
“I’d never forget.” He looked at me again. “Candice is your mother?”
“Yes Sir,” I replied. I didn’t know if he knew she’d passed away, but I needed to tell him. “She died a couple of years ago.”
He cupped his hand over his mouth, and I could see the tears in his eyes. He really did love my Mom. A blind man could tell that he did. I could feel the hurt coming from him, and I wanted to cry too. I didn’t have anyone to cry with when it happened, aside from a nurse who showed up at her funeral. It’s hard having no one. The tears fell down my face as I watched them fall down his.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke and I could hear the unsettling emotion in his voice.
Standing up from the table, he walked down the hall and tucked away behind one of the doors. It was hard to watch. Even Bo was choked up.
He pulled me to him, and I buried my face in his shirt.
“Make sure he’s okay Bo,” I said as I pulled back away from him. “Go, please.”
Bo walked down the hall and I searched the kitchen for a napkin or paper towel to wipe my face.
Through the thin walls, I could hear the two of them. I couldn’t make out every single word but it sounded like they were shouting.
They were shouting.
Ben said, “Why is she here?”
I felt the lump in my throat grow larger. The two of them were arguing about me. What had I done?
I couldn’t listen anymore. I screwed up by coming. Grabbing my backpack, I made my way quickly to the front door. My feet felt heavy against the concrete as I jogged away from the house. It was like the weight was being carried on my shoulders. I didn’t want to be the cause of a fight. I didn’t want to ruin his life by showing up and breaking all the bad news. It wasn’t my intention at all.
Once I was out of sight, I slowed down to catch my breath. The park was only a block away and I could find my bench and rest. The guilt hurt me badly. I told him that the woman he loved was dead. I should’ve thought things through better.
Stupid, stupid, stupid…
I don’t know why I thought he’d want to see me. My plan was ruined, and I was to blame.
Chapter Nine
Our Bench
I sipped on the bottle of water I had in my backpack after I washed down a pain pill. My stomach was knotted up from the need to get away so quickly. I’d overdone it. Between the heat, the pain, and the nerves, the pill couldn’t kick in fast enough.
I figured that I could call that limo rental place and have a ride home by the end of the day if they weren’t busy.
“Tori,” Bo called out to me, and I regretted having stopped at this bench. He knew exactly where to find me. It was our bench.
“It’s okay Bo. I’m fine, and I’ll have a ride home in no time.” I rushed the words out. “I’m sorry to screw everything up, and I didn’t mean to upset him. I swear I didn’t.”
“Stop,” he said, kneeling down in front of me. “It’s not what you think.”
“I heard you arguing. It’s my fault.”
“No, it’s not. We weren’t arguing. He was just upset about your Mom. I told him everything. When he asked me what you were doing there, I told him. He dropped to his knees and cried. I’ve never seen him this upset. He’s worried about you, and when we saw that you ran off, he begged me to go and get you and bring you back,” he explained. “I promise that he’s not angry or mad at you. He’s mad at himself. You have to come back. He wants to talk to you.”
I wanted so badly to believe what he said, but I heard the anger in his voice. He was mad. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. The damage I’ve done can’t be fixed. I should’ve never told him.”
“You’re wrong. He would want to know.” Bo placed his hands on the sides of my face. “Everything is okay. He’s okay. Please come back with me to talk to him. I promise you that he’s not mad at you.”
I shut my eyes as his hands stroked my cheeks. They were warm against my skin. The smell of his cologne was thick and I kept my eyes closed to remember the moment. I believed what he was saying. He had no reason to lie to me.
Opening my eyes, I stared right into his. He had eyes that a person could never forget. I saw them in my dreams, and I hoped that I always would.
“I’ll go back.”
He wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back. No matter the outcome, I knew just how much Bo meant to me, and how glad I was that he’d come into my life.
Benjamin was waiting on the porch steps when we pulled back into the driveway. He made his way quickly to the car as I was stepping out of it, and he held his arms out to me. I didn’t know him, but he was the only connection that I had to my Mom and I hugged him as hard as I could. We cried together as he rubbed the back of my head. Neither of us was letting go. We were two people who needed each other in the worst kind of way.
“Come inside, and let’s talk,” Ben said, keeping me wrapped up in his side as we made our way back into the house.
They were the words that I’d been waiting to hear.
The three of us sat down on the couch, with me in the middle. I didn’t feel uncomfortable. If anything I felt like I was part of the family.
“Bo told me that you’re sick, and I wanted to know you’re reasoning behind coming to find me, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m glad you’re here, so please don’t think otherwise.” Ben’s words were sincere.
“I found the letter that you wrote to my Mom, but not until after she passed away. She never told me about you, but I knew by that letter that you loved her once. My grandmother is in a nursing home and doesn’t even know who she is, and my Aunt died a few years before my Mom. I don’t have anybody left. Other than a couple of people from my apartment building, I have no acquaintances. I have a funeral to plan that I imagine no one will show up to.” I swallowed roughly. “I swear to you that I didn’t come here for pity or for money. I have a lot of money since I sold the house. All I wanted was to find someone I could share my last few days with, because I’m scared.” And the tears were coming once again.
“Sweetheart,” Ben said as he pulled me close to him once more. “You won’t be alone. Don’t you dare worry about that anymore.” I could hear the sniffles around the room, which made me cry harder. It wasn’t easy watching or hearing grown men cry.
I wiped my face clean with the edge of my shirt, before excusing myself to go to the bathroom. A few splashes of cold water didn’t seem to help my ragged face. I looked bad. My skin was pale, and there was a ring of darkness under my eyes. I was tired, once again. I seemed to stay that way. The medicine was working, and I needed Bo to take me back to the motel soon.
Ben stopped me in the kitchen and insisted that I stay for dinner. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I agreed, but wondered how I’d stay awake until then.
“Why don’t you rest on the couch? I’ll just let you nap for a little bit.” Bo was adamant. Between the two of them, I couldn’t tell which one was more persistent. It was a nice change compared to being alone for so long. A person could sure get used to it.
I agreed and slipped off my shoes, tucking my feet up onto the couch. I felt a blanket drape over me, and that was the last thing I remembered.
Chapter Ten
Dinner with the Cooper’s
I had no idea what I was dreaming about, but it must’ve been good because I didn’t want to wake up. Bo laughed and nudged me a few times, and I believe I may have told him five more minutes. When his lips touched my cheek that was all it took. My eyes shot open and I glared up at him. It was by far the best way to be woken up, alth
ough I wouldn’t admit it to him.
“Hey, beautiful. Food’s ready.”
I could get used to that.
The smell of food surrounded me and it was amazing. I’d slept up an appetite. I stood up, stretched my arms wide over my head, and made my way into the kitchen with Bo.
“Hope you like fried chicken?” Ben asked as I took the empty seat at the table.
“YES!” I nearly shouted and everyone laughed. It wasn’t supposed to come out so enthusiastically but I guess I was hungrier than I thought.
“I’m glad you stayed to have dinner with us. I was hoping that maybe we could talk some more about your Mom,” Ben suggested.
After the cry I had earlier, I was fairly sure that I could talk about her without getting too upset. I wanted to know more about her past. “I’d like that.”
Bo smiled and patted my knee under the table. It was sweet.
“She and I met in college,” Ben explained. “She was assigned as my lab partner in Biology, and she forced me to do all the dirty work.” He smiled when he talked about her, and so did I. That sounded like something my Mother would’ve done. “She was smart, kind of a loner, and had the most philosophical mind. It was love at first sight.”
I blushed and cooed over his every word. The way he spoke of my Mother was far better than I could’ve imagined. I imagined that she was sitting at the dinner table with us, and her smile would light up the room. She’d tuck her straight hair behind her ears, and smile at everyone. She was kind-hearted and passionate. She was everything that I hoped I was.
Benjamin’s pleasing smile was charming, and I could understand why my Mom loved him so. Bo was just like that. He had lightness about him, and a bit of a cocky attitude that was hard not to find attractive.
“How long did the two of you date?” I asked before taking a bite of my mashed potatoes that were delicious by the way.
“Three years.”
It was a long time, but I knew why they’d parted ways. It was all written in the letter. No sense in rehashing the ugly parts. I wanted to know all of the good things.
“You look like her in some ways,” Ben told me. “I mean it’s been many years, but I can still see her face. You have her eyes and her smile.”
“Thank you.” I glanced away.
“I’ve never heard you talk about her, Dad,” Bo said.
“Mom never spoke of you either.” I interrupted. “If I hadn’t found the letter, I’d never have known about you.”
Ben leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I guess…” He paused. “I guess after so many years you move on. You forget about the things that hurt and replace them with new good things. I loved Candice more than anything. I still do I suppose, but life happened and years passed. I have many good memories tucked away in here,” he admitted pointing to his chest. “I’m glad I could share some of them with you. With both of you.”
“Me too.”
“I have a few things in a box in my closet that you might like to see,” Ben said. “I’ll get them.”
How exciting.
Bo started to clear the table, and I stood to help him.
“I’ve never seen him so happy,” Bo said as he nudged his elbow on my arm. “You’d think he was twenty years old again.”
I flashed him a grin. “He’s no nice. Thank you for bringing me back.”
“Of course.”
We spent the next few minutes scraping dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. I loved how it felt so natural. The two of us moved around the kitchen like we’d been doing it for years.
“Come on Tori. Come in the living room.” Ben called out to me as he passed through the kitchen.
Bo raised his brows. “Go ahead. I got the dishes.”
I didn’t argue. I twisted the towel and snapped it in his direction. It was totally out of character for me, but Bo brought out a whole different side that I never knew I had.
I was playful.
Who knew?
Benjamin had an old shoebox opened up on his lap as I walked into the living room. He called me over with a nudge of his head, and I sat down in the spot next to him.
“I saved a few things from when we dated, and there are a few things that she threw at my head once.” His laugh was genuine, and I loved hearing it. “This is an old tee shirt of mine that she borrowed from me one night after we ran through the campus sprinklers. She gave it back to me the night we broke up.” He handed me the old worn out, light blue tee that had Tarheels written on the front. I held it close to me. “Here are the photos that we took in one of those booths, you know the ones. They shoot the pictures out after a couple of minutes.” They were making goofy faces in all of them but one. The last one was my Mom kissing his cheek. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen, and so clear that the two of them were in love. “Here are the ticket stubs to the fair I took her to. She hated every minute of it, until I bought her cotton candy and won her a stuffed alligator. Oh, and this is the program from our graduation. Our names are highlighted.”
I couldn’t believe he’d kept all of those things. It was unbelievable, and I was touched beyond words.
He picked up a little white box and rubbed the top with his fingertips. His eyes closed and I felt for a moment that I was invading on an important moment that I shouldn’t have witnessed.
“I want you to have this.” He looked over at me with a small smile on his lips. “I didn’t get a chance to give it to her.”
I opened the lid and there was a diamond ring inside. “Is this a…?” I couldn’t even get the words to come out.
“Yep. I was going to propose to her, but we broke up before I could.”
“It’s beautiful.” The gold band had one diamond sitting on top. It was round and rather large in size. It shined like it was brand new. “I can’t take this.”
“I want you to. It was only hers. I never gave it to anyone else. It’s been sitting in this box for over twenty years. I want you to take it.”
“I’m dying.” I choked up. “I wouldn’t get to keep it.”
“You can wear it, and when you see your Mom again –and I know you will, tell her all about it.”
“I will. Thank you Ben.” I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug, before slipping the ring on my finger. It was a perfect fit, and I’d be buried with this token, a token of true love.
“Dishes are all done,” Bo interrupted.
Benjamin patted my arm once more.
“I guess that means you can give me a lift back to the hotel?” I squinted in Bo’s direction.
“Nope.” He grinned. “Dad and already discussed it, and we want you to stay here.”
“I couldn’t. That’s too much. No, I’ll be fine at the motel.”
“Um, no. It’s not up for discussion. We have a perfectly good guest room and you can stay until…” Bo stopped midsentence.
“Until I die,” I reassured him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not gonna get any better.”
Bo’s face saddened at my words, but I there was no sugar coating what was going to happen.
“It could be months, or weeks, or days,” I explained.
“Please stay,” he pleaded.
I looked to Benjamin for some kind of sign, and he nodded. They both wanted me there regardless of what was going to happen to me. It was so much more than I could’ve ever hoped for. I came here so that I wouldn’t have to die alone, and they were offering me a safe haven, a home, companionship. It was selfless, and it meant more to me than they’d ever know.
“Lead the way.”
I accepted their invitation and let Bo lead me to my room, but not before hugging Ben once more.
“Dad and I both work tomorrow, but I’ll be home around three. The house is yours, so do whatever you need. Make yourself at home, and if you’re up for it when I get home then I’ll take you on that date.” Bo proclaimed.
“Sounds great,” I replied. “Thanks, Bo.” My eyes mo
ved to the floor, as not to make eye contact.
“Of course beautiful. Sleep well.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek softly, and I still felt the warmth of it even after he left the room.
There was no way of knowing what was going on between us, but there was definitely something going on. I was falling head over heels for him, and I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to.
It felt good, better than good.
Stop overthinking it Tori.
I went to bed that night with only him on my mind and the way he made me feel. Tucking the cover tightly under my chin, I hoped that thinking of him would bring me good dreams and less pain.
Chapter Eleven
A date with death
“Hey, sleeping beauty. You’ve been asleep all day?” Bo ran his fingers along my cheek.
“What time is it?” I asked stretching my stiff muscles. The rumble in my stomach meant that I must’ve skipped a meal.
“Well, I’m already home from work, and I believe you’re in the exact same position that I left you in this morning.”
His wit didn’t go unnoticed. Bo was cheeky. It was one of the things that I loved about him.
I rose up off my pillow and combed my fingers through the rat’s nest that was my hair. I must’ve looked horrible. I’d been sleeping all day, literally all day.
“I can’t believe I slept so long. Ugh, I must look a mess.” Leaning down towards my shoulder I sniffed just to make sure that I didn’t stink.
Bo laughed. Reaching out his hand, he pulled me up off the bed slowly.
“How do you feel?”
I took a deep breath, but I couldn’t deny it. “Hungry,” I admitted.
He flashed a smile at me, the one that turned my insides to mush. “Good, because I’m taking you out for dinner tonight.”
It sounded great. “But I don’t have anything to wear. I only brought three days worth of clothing with me, and well, yesterday was day three.”
His eyes moved around the room like he was assessing the situation. There was no solution that I could think of, unless we had time to do laundry.
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