“You didn’t.” Justin watched her for a few seconds, his dark eyes smoldering beneath half-closed lids. He patted the bed next to him in invitation. “Come here.”
Val paused, but for only the space of a single heartbeat. She walked to the other side of the bed, toed off her heels, then climbed in next to him, shifting until she was stretched out beside him. She pressed a kiss to his chest, his skin hard and warm beneath her lips, then propped her head in her hand and smiled down at him.
“How are you feeling?”
Justin paused, frowning, then grinned, the small half-smile deepening the dimple in his cheek and causing her heart to skip a beat. “Not too bad. I think I actually got some real sleep.” He stretched out with a small groan, his skin pulling even tighter over hard muscle, then ran his hand over her arm. “What time is it?”
“Not quite five.”
A frown creased his face, his brows drawing together. “Five? I thought you were working all night. Is everything okay?”
Val shrugged, then gave him a small smile. “Everything’s fine. I guess I just wanted to be here instead, in case you needed anything.”
Justin pushed up on his good arm, shifting until he was almost sitting. She could see concern in his eyes, and maybe a little worry when he watched her. “Val, I’m fine. I don’t want you to miss work to take care of me, not when you’ve already done so much. I’ll be okay. You don’t need to be here.”
“I know I don’t need to. I want to. There’s a difference.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Val tried to keep her voice light and teasing, but the word came out too quietly, filled with more truth than she was ready to admit.
Justin watched her for a long time, the minutes drifting by in silence. It seemed like a hundred different thoughts and emotions flashed in his eyes, one after the other, so fast that Val couldn’t read any of them. She wondered if maybe she should have just stayed quiet. Or maybe she should have stayed at work. Would Justin worry that she was too attached? Or that she didn’t trust him? Or worse, maybe he thought she was hovering too much. She started to sit up, to roll away and off the bed, when he reached for her.
His hand cupped her cheek, his palm warm and just a little rough against her skin. But his touch was gentle, the caress of his thumb against her lower lip feather light. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth against hers, the kiss soft and sweet, lingering. She leaned into him, her hand flat against his chest, sighing when his tongue eased between her lips and danced with hers. Warmth changed to heat, pooling deep inside and radiating out, filling her with need. Yet the kiss remained slow, gentle. Like Justin had all the time in the world, just for her. To taste, to linger, to please.
Val sighed when he pulled away, her eyes still closed, her heart racing. When she finally opened her eyes, it was to see Justin watching her, his own eyes searching hers, his gaze warm and soft. He ran his thumb along her lip once more then leaned back, a grin tilting one corner of his mouth.
“I could kiss you all night long.”
“I won’t stop you.” And oh God, could she sound any easier? Any more desperate? Justin chuckled and kissed her again, this one too short, too quick.
“Good. How about we do that after dinner then?”
Val smiled, some of the irrational worry leaving her. “Sounds good to me.” She rolled to her side and pushed herself off the bed, smoothing her slacks as she stood. “What do you want? I can thaw some chicken, or we can have pasta—”
“No.” Justin swung his legs over the side of the bed, wincing only a little when he finally stood. “We’re going out to eat.”
“Justin, are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” He walked over to her and wrapped his good arm around her waist, pulling her close. “I’ve been cooped up too long. We’re going out. Some place nice, not a pizza joint.”
“And what’s wrong with pizza?”
“Nothing. We can do pizza another night. But tonight, we’re going someplace nicer. Not suit nice, since I don’t have one here. I’ll have to think.” He kissed her, hard and quick, then stepped back. “Besides, I need to get a new phone.”
“Uh, yeah.” Val glanced at the pieces on the dresser. “I noticed that.”
A shadow crossed Justin’s face, a brief one as he stared at the remains of his phone. He blinked, and the shadow disappeared. Then his gaze slid to hers, thoughtful but a little uncertain. Val got the feeling he was struggling with whether or not to explain what happened with the phone. His eyes drifted to hers, back to the phone, and finally down to the floor. He shifted his weight and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it even more.
“I need to go home next week.”
The words hung in the air between them, not making any sense at first. Then something tightened in her chest, knocking the breath from her and leaving a hollowness deep inside. The reaction was silly. Stupid. Of course she’d known he would have to go home, he didn’t really live here.
Then why did it suddenly feel like he was telling her he was moving out? Because she had become used to having him here, that was why. She had become too accustomed to falling asleep in his arms, to waking to his sleepy grin each morning. She was too attached. Val never got attached. She didn’t have time.
She nodded and tried to smile, the expression too forced. Maybe it was good that he was going back home, good that he was putting space between them. Maybe then she could get her head back on straight and figure out what she wanted.
She forced her smile wider and finally looked at Justin. “Oh. Sure, I understand. You’ll probably be more comfortable at your place, with all your things and everything. It’ll probably help you recover and—”
“Val, no.” Justin wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, his eyes catching hers, holding her still. “I don’t mean back to my place. Unless—if you’re getting tired of me then yeah, I can go back there—”
“No!” The word came out too fast, too desperate. Val looked away and cleared her throat, then shrugged, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal. “You can stay here. If you want.”
“Good.” He pressed a quick kiss against her mouth and grinned. “When I said I needed to go home, I meant to my dad’s. For a visit.”
“Oh.” She was such an idiot. What must Justin think, after she’d pretty much let him know she didn’t want him to leave? Maybe he didn’t think anything of it. Or, if the look in his eyes meant anything, maybe he liked the idea, too.
She really needed to figure out what was going on, figure out what she wanted. Maybe Justin being gone would help with that. Give them each some time away from the other, put a little distance between them so she could look at things objectively.
Yeah. That’s why her stomach was twisting and a heaviness was settling in her chest. When had she become such a fool? And when had she started lying to herself? She didn’t need time to figure things out. No, what she needed was to face reality and finally admit to herself what her heart already knew.
No. Not yet. It was too soon.
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”
Val blinked, her eyes focusing on Justin, on the expectant look on his face. She had been zoning out, arguing with herself, and completely missed whatever Justin had just said. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me. It would only be for a week, I can’t handle being home longer than that. But if you don’t want to, I understand. I mean, you’d have to take off work and I know you don’t like being gone from the restaurant that long.”
Justin was asking her to go home with him. Val blinked, repeating the words in her mind, making sure she didn’t misunderstand. No, he really did ask her. And he was giving her an easy out, an easy way to say no if she didn’t want to go. A week away from the restaurant. She’d never been gone for that long. It was probably too long, too much time away. She should probably say no, probably latch on to the excuse he was handing her and tell him she c
ouldn’t just leave for a week.
Maybe that was what she should do. But it wasn’t what she wanted to do. Justin was inviting her to go home with him and she got the impression this was important. A big deal. Not just for him, but for her too. And she wanted to go.
“I’d love to.”
Justin leaned back, his eyes widening just a little bit, as if he couldn’t believe she’d said yes. “Really?”
“Yes, really. It’ll be fun. A nice little break.” Val wrapped her arms around his waist, careful of his arm, and pressed a kiss at the base of his throat.
“I’m not sure ‘fun’ is how I’d describe it but it’ll definitely be better with you there.”
“Good, it’s all settled.” Val stepped out of his hold then paused, frowning. “Um, where exactly is home, anyway?”
Justin grinned, his eyes lighting with amusement, and she wondered if maybe she should have asked him that question first, before agreeing to go with him. It wasn’t anywhere in Canada, she knew that much. Maybe it was some place exciting, like New York. Or Key West. Or San Diego. That would definitely be a bonus.
Val heard Justin speak, saw his lips move, but she was certain she was hearing things. She tilted her head to the side, frowning again. “Where did you just say?”
Justin laughed, the sound rich and warm, easing some of the shock she felt when he spoke again.
“Gettysburg.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Watch your speed going through here. When they say twenty-five, they mean it.”
Val glanced down at the truck’s speedometer and eased off the gas, slowing down until the needle hovered above twenty-seven. Justin’s truck drove like a car, with a smooth powerful engine that was misleading. She never thought she’d be into trucks, but after an hour of driving Justin’s, she had to reconsider. He had laughed when she told him that, a playful grin on his face when he told her she looked good behind the wheel.
His grin had faded not too long ago, finally disappearing when they crossed the Mason-Dixon line and entered Pennsylvania. At first she thought it might be because of his arm. It was resting in a sling and propped on a pillow she insisted he use for the drive. He’d only had one pain pill and that was hours ago. But something told her it was more than just his arm. The way he was sitting, too rigid and too tense, wasn’t like someone in pain. In fact, she’d sensed tension in him the last few days, ever since he invited her along.
Val glanced over at him, then looked back at the road, stopping for a traffic light. The weather so far was nice. A little warm for late May but without the heavy humidity that would blanket the area in a few weeks. She’d dressed for it, in a pair of linen capris with a loose blouse and comfortable sandals. Justin surprised her, though, choosing to wear a pair of worn jeans and cowboy boots. She thought he’d wear one of his button-front shirts, only because they were so much easier for him to get into. But he insisted on a slate blue polo with the Banners’ logo, despite the difficulty—and no doubt, pain—putting it on.
“I don’t think I’ve been up here since middle school. Or maybe high school, I can’t remember.”
Justin looked over at her, the corner of his mouth barely lifting in what might be a grin—if she stretched the definition some. “Field trip, huh?”
“Yeah. I don’t remember a whole lot about it, it’s been so long ago. I know the bus drove around the battlefield. At least, I think it did. And then there was that old musty building with a map that had all these light bulbs showing the battle.”
Justin propped his elbow on the doorframe and rested his head in his hand, his eyes focused on the passing scenery. “The electric map. It’s gone now.”
“Oh.”
“So is the old musty building. There’s a brand new Visitor Center now. This huge thing they built a few years ago.”
“Oh. Well, like I said, it’s been awhile. Maybe we could go to the new place and you can show me around.”
“Yeah, sure.”
The road was fairly straight now, nothing but farmland and an occasional house here and there, so Val risked looking over at him. Not a quick glance, like she had been, but a longer look. He was still staring out the window, his head turned in profile, his hair ruffling in the wind coming through the window. She couldn’t see his eyes, not with his head turned and his sunglasses on, but she was certain they’d be unfocused, seeing something only he could see. He moved his head, reaching to scratch at his freshly-shaved jaw, then went back to resting his chin in his hand and just staring out at nothing.
Maybe that was why he seemed so quiet, so preoccupied. The Banners had lost last night, falling behind early in the game and losing their chance to win the Cup for the second year in a row. Justin hadn’t said anything—there was nothing to say, not when both of them were disappointed about the loss. And this morning, when he’d come out of the bathroom, his beard was gone.
Could that really be the reason for his sudden tension and silence? Or was there something else going on, something she missed?
Val looked over at him one last time, adjusted the sunglasses on her nose, and sighed. “Justin. Is everything okay?”
“Hm?” He turned in the seat, finally looking at her. “Yeah. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just seem distracted. Is it the game? Is that what you’re upset about?”
“No.”
A few more miles went by, the houses coming closer together now. Another traffic light was up ahead, right at the entrance to an outlet mall. Beyond that was a small convenience store and gas station—one on either side, just before the off ramp to a highway. They were close now, just outside of town, according to the signs. And still Justin didn’t say anything, didn’t elaborate.
“Then what is it, Justin? I can tell you’re stressed about something.” She swallowed against the sudden thickness clogging her throat, surprised at the emotion building in her chest. “Is it me? Did you change your mind? About me coming with you, I mean. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea—”
“No. Val, no. That’s not it at all.” He ran his good hand through his hair then pointed in front of them. “Pull into this gas station here, just on the other side of 15.”
Val looked and sure enough, there was another station just on the other side of the bridge crossing the highway. She checked traffic and moved into the right lane, waited on another light—because did they really need three traffic lights in the space of a thousand feet?—then pulled into the small station. She parked the truck on the side of the building, not sure if she should turn it off or leave it running. For all she knew, they’d be turning around and going back home.
Justin turned in the seat until he was facing her then reached up and pulled off the dark sunglasses. She didn’t turn to face him, almost afraid of what she might see in his eyes. Justin reached over with his good hand, closing it around hers and tugging. Not hard, just enough to get her to turn around, to look at him. She bit down on her lower lip and finally turned her head, her gaze resting on his chin.
“Val, look at me.” Justin squeezed her fingers, urging her. She blinked a few times then looked up. His gaze was steady on hers, the brown of his eyes dark, soft. And reassuring, comforting. Val blinked again, faster this time, certain she could lose herself in their dark depths.
“Val, it’s not you. Please don’t think that.”
“Then what is it? Tell me.”
Justin looked away, but not before she saw the worry and doubt fill his eyes. And something else. Resignation? Regret? She couldn’t be sure. When he faced her again, whatever she thought she had glimpsed was gone.
“You know I don’t really have a good relationship with my father, right?”
Val shrugged, not sure how to answer. Over the last few months, Justin had made vague references to some kind of tension with his father, but he had never gone into detail. She hadn’t asked because there had never been a reason to. That, and she thought that maybe it had all been in the past, something that didn’t rea
lly have anything to do with Justin now. Apparently she was wrong.
“I guess. Maybe.”
“Trust me, we don’t. It’s—” Justin paused, frowning. Then he shook his head, almost like he was trying to clear it. Or maybe trying to find a way to explain. “I had to deal with some shit growing up, Val. Some of the stuff has stayed with me. So no, we don’t really get along, and I get a little tense whenever I see him. But please, don’t think it’s you.”
Justin squeezed her fingers then lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips against her knuckles. Her fingers tightened around his, in reassurance and in reaction. Val leaned forward and brushed the hair off his forehead, then cupped his cheek in her hand.
“Justin, if it’s that bad, why are you coming out here for a week?”
“Because I have to.”
She waited for him to explain but he remained silent. Val wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to go into more detail, or if it was because he honestly didn’t know how to explain. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe those simple words were the only explanation he ever needed for himself.
She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his, the kiss soft and reassuring. “Then I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.”
Two simple words, so quietly spoken. They meant so much more, Val could see that from the look in his eyes. Her heart jumped in her chest, that familiar warmth filling her again. She was almost certain she knew what it meant, that warm glow that radiated out. Almost certain. But she didn’t want to look at it too closely, didn’t want to analyze it or even name it. Not now. Not yet. It was too soon. There was still so much about Justin she didn’t know, still so much to learn about him.
Well, she would certainly get to know more about him this week, wouldn’t she? Too bad she had a feeling it might not be what Justin wanted her to know.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The knot settled like concrete, hard and unforgiving, in his gut as they pulled into the long driveway. Justin questioned, for the thousandth time in the last twenty minutes, the wisdom of coming here.
Delay of Game (The Baltimore Banners Book 6) Page 17
