by Joan Gattuso
The Buddhists say all things and events lack self-existence. The teaching states that all things are impermanent and are an illusion. One of the greatest insights I have ever taken away from the Dalai Lama was when he said, “We can say something is an illusion, not because my writing tablet, desk and pen are not here, but we can certainly say and agree that they are impermanent.” Therefore, anything that is impermanent can be said to be an illusion because it is impermanent. It will not last forever.
The next logical conclusion is that the mind eventually reaches this level of awareness. The ultimate nature of reality is the emptiness of all things and events—the absence of independent reality. Nothing can cease the continuation of consciousness or mind. Emptiness is not nothingness. It means it does not have its own origination. This is the Middle Way. This can be most challenging for our Western minds to comprehend.
The mind can be likened to the ocean viewed from an airplane at 35,000 feet. It looks completely calm, yet when you near the surface, you find much turbulence if a storm is in progress. So, too, our minds appear to be calm and serene, but when we look inside, there can be much monkey-mind chatter and much turmoil and raging turbulence.
Our lifelong task is to learn to still the mind—to free the mind of angry thoughts, sad thoughts, depressed thoughts, separate thoughts, lonely thoughts, hateful thoughts, thoughts of attachment. The only means of doing this is constant practice and observation, replacing an angry thought with a calm thought, a sad thought with a joyous thought. We must practice deep meditation.
After much practice, the troubled mind can be put to rest, and then the basic nature of the mind can rise. Our basic nature is serene, clear, calm.
In order to have Right Thought, Thich Nhat Hanh says that we must embody the Four Immeasurables—Love, Compassion, Joy and Equanimity. They are the very nature of a noble being, an enlightened being. We must stop feeding our negative states of mind. How? We cease from calling violence “entertainment.” We cease speaking endlessly of ourselves as the victim. We begin to see it as our lesson, our karma. We cease from watering those seeds, and we learn our lessons and go on.
We must be willing to look head-on at our suffering and what causes us to suffer. If we try to avoid this meeting, our suffering will continue to be the engine that runs our lives, filling our experience with more and more suffering. When we focus on suffering, sure as day follows night, more suffering will present itself.
Personally, in dealing with mentally tormenting situations, ones that seem to grab us by the throat and not let go, I have found it takes tremendous energy, focus and unwavering commitment to move out of consuming negative thoughts and to shift back into the true nature of my mind.
Lama Chonam, dear friend and Buddhist teacher, once said while teaching at my church, “Sometimes our individual and collective mind has to be shocked into seeing the nature of reality.” He said this in direct response to 9/11, when those two jets roared into the Twin Towers in New York City, a third slammed deep into the earth of rural Pennsylvania and a fourth smashed into the Pentagon. As Americans, our collective mind was shocked to its core. The unimaginable and unspeakable had occurred. We saw the images either up close or on television, and initially few of us could grasp what was happening.
I recall that I was working at home and had stopped and turned on the television just as the first jet struck. My mind could not comprehend what my eyes had just seen. I instantly began praying and doing my utmost to remain centered. In those moments we still did not know that the horror was intentional. As that gruesome reality began to be revealed when the second jet hit the second tower, I knew I had to drive the thirty minutes to my church to be with my staff. As I drove through several suburbs of Cleveland, it was surreal. There were so few cars on the roads. At stoplights fellow drivers would look back as I looked over, and in stunned silence we would nod. It was like driving through a dream in slow motion.
For America this was one of the worst possible illustrations of wrong thought. At times it seemed as if the world had gone stark raving mad. Congregants of mine were vacationing in Hawaii at a serene, exclusive resort when the news of the attacks on the Twin Towers began to spread.
They were having breakfast on the lanai when guests began intently watching a television set reporting the tragedy. A Muslim woman standing next to my congregants’ table began to jump up and down with glee, clapping her hands. Apparently she could not even remotely contain her happiness at the suffering of our country, where, at that moment, she was a guest.
My congregants were so terrified not only by what was occurring but also by the hatred playing out before them that they immediately went back to their room, packed up and took the next flight to Honolulu. They did not want to be on a remote island, not knowing what was going to be happening next, and they felt very frightened of that woman and her hate-filled reaction.
Buddhist teachers would instruct that we must have compassion for ones exhibiting such upside-down thinking and behavior. I can understand that, as could my congregants, that they chose not to be at the same resort as that Muslim woman—a choice many of us might make under the circumstances.
Right Thinking is always in alignment with the spiritual ideal.
Better than a speech of a thousand vain words is one thoughtful word which brings peace to the mind.
—THE DHAMMAPADA, VERSE 100
RIGHT SPEECH
THE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES I have learned during many years studying Tibetan Buddhism have become so much a part of me that I have begun to constantly have insights and realizations on the ultimate nature of reality. There is a point where all teachings converge and the common thread of truth can be seen. It is happening in my life, and I am endeavoring to share how it can occur with you.
Right Speech is the third aspect on the eight-spoked wheel of the Eight-fold Path. The expression and understanding of Right Speech is absolutely crucial on our spiritual journey if we are to attain an enlightened life.
When we practice Right Speech, we are constantly mindful of the vibration and impact upon ourselves and others of all the words we speak. If all of us were truly mindful of all our words, how different they would be.
With every utterance, a vibration is sent forth. Therefore, when we speak angry words, harsh words, toxic words, curse words, a like vibration is emanating from us and enfolding us and those around us like a blanket. On the other hand, when we speak words of loving-kindness, compassion, caring, tenderness, a vibration in kind is being sent out and embracing all. These vibrations, negative or positive, do not dissipate quickly.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk with whom I have studied in France, has said that we in our Western culture are very quick to turn to anger. I could not agree more. We so quickly become irritated over insignificant things, small matters, that we soon escalate to a state of uncontrollable anger. Our speech reflects our misperceptions as we attempt to make things matter that do not.
To live as conscious beings we must practice Right Speech every moment of our lives—not just our waking moments. We must bring this awareness even into our dreams, so that even in our dream states we become more aware. As we become more conscious and learn to do so, the living of our lives begins to become seamless. And this awareness in time will even filter down into our dreams. What we perceive in our awake reality begins to wed to our dream states. These different realities of mind begin to become connected, and a universal consistency begins to emerge.
In Right Speech we realize that absolutely every utterance has an impact on us, on those around us, on our animals, on our plants, on our environment. Therefore, we cease from saying anything that would harm, such as swearing and using words in anger that become toxic. This takes tremendous effort and a retraining of our minds It does not mean we suppress, but it does mean we learn to release the anger and fear that results in harsh, unkind, sarcastic, caustic communication.
While driving with a friend, a delightful spiritual t
eacher, a driver on the freeway did an unconscious maneuver and caused the man with whom I was traveling to take quick action to avoid a collision, which he executed with skill. Then he started to swear a blue streak. It was every bit as rattling as the other driver’s erratic moves. It wasn’t the time to say anything to my friend, but it was a reminder that living consciously does not take a holiday when another person drives poorly. It takes constant practice, practice, practice to bring a life-transforming philosophy into every moment of our lives, even while driving on the freeway.
We do this first by being the observer and noticing what we are allowingto escape from our mouths. We hopefully are mature enough not to use the childish excuse, “I just can’t help myself when those words come out of my mouth.” The only person ever responsible is the person yelling and verbalizing anger.
Next we take the angry and fearful feelings we are about to express as harsh words and we consciously release them to: the clear light, a divine presence, a bodhisattva, etc. Next we are consciously aware not to go back and pick them up again. If our speech causes anyone to suffer, then it is not Right Speech.
The Buddha teaches that if we need to have a conversation with someone who is agitated, or who has a difficult personality, we need to continuously be mindful, consciously breathe in and breathe out, and listen deeply to that person for one hour. If, during that hour, you begin to feel agitated yourself, say to the other dear one, “I truly want to listen to you, but I find myself unable to continue. So let us agree to stop for now. Then in a few days, after much meditation, we can meet again.” How often do we communicate with such an enlightened mind? Can you even imagine how blessed our world would be if we all began to communicate in such a way?
Right Speech is as much about how to speak and address others as it is about what to avoid. In Right Speech we learn to verbally encourage others. Once, a fellow minister reflecting on the giving nature of a well-known teacher, said: “She is the best cheerleader I have ever met. She always has an encouraging word and is quick to praise another’s noble efforts and good works.” What a lovely comment to make about someone—one who not only looks for and sees the good but takes the next step and praises it, as well.
In our Western society we have a harsh manner of communicating to friends and strangers alike. It tends to be both direct and impolite. How often do you say, “Excuse me,” “Please,” “Thank you so very much,” “How kind,” “How thoughtful of you” or even “Good-bye”?
Right Speech is called the sentinel at the door of our consciousness. Practicing Right Speech results in what the Buddhists call an accumulationof merits. In Christian thought and teachings we do not have a direct correlation, but we could make a broad comparison through the idea of attracting grace or gathering good karma into your life.
People will just naturally be more attracted to us the more we draw to ourselves good energy merits. We become a blessing to others and ourselves, as well. We cease from ever harming others through our words. As adults we live by the simple teachings most of us have been taught as children. Before speaking, check out the inner pulse of your communication.• Is it kind?
• Is it helpful?
• Is it true?
It couldn’t be easier or more direct. One would think it would not be so difficult to always and only speak words that are kind, helpful and true. We truly become the better person, deepening our spiritual path, expanding toward enlightenment.
A Hindu teacher gives this advice to his students about telling the truth: “Anyone who succeeds in telling the truth for twelve consecutive years will become enlightened.” That is certainly a noble goal to aspire to—no fibbing, no half-truths, no white lies, only full, totally honest disclosure.
THE VALUE OF RIGHT SPEECH: 1. We draw merits to ourselves.
2. We are a blessing to all others.
3. We cease from harming others.
4. We cease from harming ourselves.
5. We become a better person.
6. We deepen our spiritual path.
7. We expand toward enlightenment.
8. We begin to understand the ultimate nature of reality.
In the early nineties I attended the Tucson, Arizona, teaching on Patience given by the Dalai Lama. It was modestly attended. Once, after the students formed an arc through which the Dalai Lama was to pass, we were instructed not to touch him or speak to him and to stay in a semi-bowed position, a sign of respect. There was great excitement in the air, and as he approached I felt so very blessed to be in such close proximity to this holy man. He was passing inches in front of me, as I held my hands in a prayerful pose and bowed.
The instant he was even with me, he abruptly stopped, snapped his head to the side and looked directly into my eyes. It took my breath away. All I can say is that it was an instant between us that was a holy encounter. It has remained with me to this moment. The Dalai Lama looked into me, and I was blessed. There have been a number of close encounters since, and of course they are all filled with goodness. But nothing could touch that first holy encounter. It left me speechless. And I have seldom spoken of it because it was so sacred for me. There are times when practicing Right Speech that it is appropriate to remain silent.
In Right Speech we are aware that our words can heal or harm. They can lift up or tear down. When we are in our right mind, why would we ever allow ourselves to harm or tear down another person through our words?
When we live in ignorance and not mindfully, we can allow our speech to come rushing out of us, and at times it seems it has bypassed our thought and has a life of its own. Andrew Harvey says, “Speech is the primary medium of enlightenment.” The purpose of enlightenment is to serve all others. Right Speech is an outgrowth of Right Thinking. They cannot be separated.
One of the most effective methods to train the mind toward Right Speech is through the use of affirmations. Insert your own name in the affirmations following to personalize them. Here are some examples to get you started, but feel free to create your own. Just make sure they are focused on the positive and what you want, rather than what you don’t want.• I ____________________ am becoming more and more mindful of the words I speak.
• I ____________________ speak kind, loving, supportive words to family and friends.
• I ____________________ speak kind, loving, supportive words to all others, including myself.
• As I ____________________ practice Right Speech, I am becoming more aware in all areas of my life.
• I ____________________ am now using Right Speech in all my communications.
• Right Speech brings peace to my heart and mind.
The Dalai Lama suggests that before arising in our morning meditation we commit to being mindful of our speech throughout the day. At midday we check ourselves by asking, “How am I doing so far? Have my communications been clear, truthful and kind? Are there alterations to be made? Let me now adjust and go on with a fresh start.” At the close of the day ask, “How did I do today?” Hopefully we can say we did really well and, if not, resolve to pay much closer attention to our speech tomorrow.
Dharma teaching is a mirror to look deeply, see what is being reflected and correct what is in error in body, speech and mind.
—HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA
Only the pursuit of spiritual richness over physical comfort would lead humans to a peaceful world.
—HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA
RIGHT ACTION
MOST SIMPLY STATED, Right Action means “do no harm.” Always come from the space of the heart, be kind, live mindfully, practice conscious consumption.
Right Action is being certain that our every action is in accord with our inner essence. It is consistency of being—as within, so without. It is knowing when to act and when to be still, when to work in the outer realms and when to work in the inner realms.
When we do not practice Right Action, we cause ourselves so much suffering, and we cause great suffering to those around us, as well
. When one is not consciously engaged in practicing Right Action, there is a disconnect between what is being thought, said and done. It is so easy today to witness this disconnection coming out of the behaviors of so many, whether they be celebrities or a professional colleague or your next-door neighbor. The following story illustrates this point:
Stephen thought he could “get away” with cruel, ruthless, cheating behaviors toward his devoted wife, Shelly, in order to continue to get what he wanted. But, as I had to keep telling my girlfriend Shelly, “He cannot.” Friends of ours, they had been married for many years. They shared many interests, had similar backgrounds and education. He was a doctor, she a Ph.D. It was a second marriage for both. The first years they appeared connected and happy, and although their lives were frequently focused on appearances, they were the typical affluent American couple, always accumulating more and better stuff, always upgrading.
Then an opportunity came to Stephen to have a surgical practice three to four days a week hundreds of miles from home. He took it and rented an apartment near the hospital, commuting home on weekends. Finally they moved from their primary home out of California, a community property state, to his new location, not a community property state, quite a distance from their former community and network of friends.
Alone every week, Shelly felt very isolated, lonely and disconnected away from her work and supportive women friends. She picked up a consulting job and was working sixty to seventy hours a week to fill her empty time and life. She would frequently call me for support and advice. I would urge her to seek a spiritual connection and community for support where she now lived. She was drawn to Buddhism and no longer found solace in the religion of her childhood. She read a few of the Buddhist books I recommended, but that was as far as her spiritual path went. She did not find a sangha, a spiritual community or anyone nearby to connect with on a soul level.
