by Alex Elliott
My office. My love. Both interwoven. I could curse what’s gone down—but standing at this threshold, it’s like I’m where I’m supposed to be. This is X’s and my moment.
I open the door, and walk into the reception area. Same space, except the whisper of her fragrance, the slightest trace of citrus and flowers punctuates the pathways within my brain. The muscles constrict along my shoulders, down my arms as I’m inundated by the memory of her lips, the texture of her skin, and the sounds of her sighs when I kiss her. Hold her. Make love to her.
I’m drawn to the back of my office and the twinge in my chest expands when I see a stream of light spilling out from her office. As I approach the doorway, my mouth goes dry—and then I stop. Pausing, I take in the sight of X, lifting a notebook; one of the many I keep. She bends at the waist, pushing it back onto a shelf.
I walk forward and her head snaps up. Our gazes collide. Fuse. Her unforgettable blue crystal eyes lock onto me, delving inside my body.
A gasp escapes between her parted lips. Lush lips that belong to the woman who haunts my dreams.
Mark me with an ‘X.’
She’s the keeper of my soul.
Pain lances her expression. Her lashes flutter and her eyes don’t sparkle with the same illustrious shine under a cloud of confusion—but the power she wields is strong enough to bring me to my knees. The quiver in her chin torpedoes me right in back of my ribcage. Takes root. Draws me to her.
“Don’t,” she says and seems to sway. “Stay the fuck back.”
Words. I don’t listen, but limp forward until I reach the side of her desk. It’s more than wood and nails that separate us, and I’m prepared to seize her. But for once, I see the seismic dilemma. I don’t want to push her into a corner.
I know what that’s like and it sucks. “Just talk with me. I promise, that’s all I want. Five minutes, X. Can’t you spare five minutes, baby?”
“You saw the story?” she asks.
“I don’t believe it. You wouldn’t do something like that.” I straighten, and hobble slowly toward her.
She takes a step backward, not really going anywhere. As I come around the desk, I face her, and this close, it’s all I can do to hold back. Every atom inside me shouts, she’s the one. She’s mine.
Tears fill her eyes. “Jonathan Richter...the guy who drove us... oh God. I’ve been such an idiot. I don’t know who to trust.”
For her, when I meet up with that fucker, he’ll get a brutal lesson on what it means to destroy trust.
“Let me help.” I hold out my hand to her. “X. I’ve never done anything to hurt you. I promise on my mother’s grave, I would never share you with anyone. North lied. Last night you asked about your grandparents. I should’ve shared my own suspicions. You’re right, something is brewing. As of right now, I don’t have an answer. You’ve got to understand, the Hill is populated by people who look at the world, and will do anything to anybody to get what they want. Nothing’s too debase. They sell themselves...fuck, they’ll steal whatever it takes to stay here. Be here. This isn’t what I want, unless you’re part of the deal. We can leave. Today. Say the word.”
“You’d do that? Walk away?” Her face is strained, filled with anguish, and it’s all because of my need to own her.
Right then, I see the part I’ve played. The truth flays me open until my walls crumble in on themselves.
“I would. Or...” I swallow, and the realization dawns—implodes within me. I can’t cage the one decent person who’s touched my life.
I can’t pin X down.
I can’t own her soul.
But I can love her. Enough to set her free.
“Or you could leave. I don’t want you to, but I’d rather see you miles from here if it means you’re happy. Sever your ties to me and this life. Away from this darkness that I seem to contain.”
“Bennett— I don’t want to go.” Her voice comes out achingly soft, a sweet exquisite arrow that lands inside my chest, both piercing and healing me. “I want what we have,” she whispers, coming forward as I move to her, wrapping her in my arms.
With her, as tumultuous and as unconventional as a relationship can get, that’s us. Pain weaves with pleasure, sin with sex. With glowing blue fire, glittery from unshed tears, she gazes up at me like I’m part of her. X...I love her completely, and I’ve never told her. Never told another human being I loved them after being kidnapped as a child. My heart was frozen...has been numb until this woman walked into my life and forced me to the brink—and now I’m at the edge, and it’s time to come clean.
Tipping up her chin, I pour out my heart, “I love you, X.”
Can a person be resurrected from the way another person looks at them...into them? If it’s possible, I’m reborn today. In her arms, as she channels her fingers through my hair, yanking, crying, smiling. I bow my head, laying my forehead against hers, curling my fingers around her hips. Confirmed, with her, I’m free.
“You always know what to say. Don’t you, Senator?”
I lift my face and look into her eyes. “Not really. I should have told you sooner. Baby, I need you in my life.”
“How much, sir?”
“Enough to recognize you’re my light in a corrupted world. And that’s not some line designed to get into your pants. It’s the truth.”
“Just so you know, it’s okay if you want to get into my panties.” She presses her mouth to mine and her kiss is the answer to what I’m seeking.
From behind us, there’s noise in the reception area. “Just keep walking, motherfucker!”
“Crap, it sounds like Brooke has gone rogue,” Xavia says, tugging my arm.
We both move toward the door to her office, and we’re confronted with her roommate and a stranger hauling Richter by his collar. One of his eyes is bruised and swollen, and there’s a thin line of dried blood below his cut lip—fucker doesn’t realize how lucky he is that he’s escaped Archer picking him up.
“Do you want to speak with him?” Brooke asks.
X flinches. “Christ, you went a little over the top.”
“Nope. He consented. I informed this worthless asshat I’d make sure he never wrote another goddamn word unless he came with us. He had to agree to tell you to your face—exactly what he’s done.”
“Let me talk to him,” X replies softly. “Please.”
“What do you want to know? The sordid details,” Richter snaps.
“Why’d you do it?” she simply asks. “Why be the hypocrite?”
“Hypocrisy...I’m not alone. This is the city of double-standards. You’re here for one reason. This is Brooke’s thing. Her party, and you are her cute little pet. Fuck, X. You’re nothing but a charity case as far as she’s concerned. You two aren’t friends. It makes her feel good...like she’s doing something to help a cause. The irony that a Kennedy is anyone’s cause is too out there for any thinking person to grasp. But what does it matter?”
X walks up to him and grabs him by his arm. “It does! You and I were friends and this...this shit you’re slinging is a poor rationalization for what you’ve done. How could you throw our friendship away like it was nothing?”
He sneers at her. “We aren’t friends. Not in any real sense.”
“So like what...you were just using me? That’s your lame excuse!” she shouts at him, and I’m ready to intercede. Don’t. I remind myself. My time with this asshole will come.
“You got it right the other day, love bug. Everybody uses somebody. Your family especially. And that includes you, princess. You’ve been using me since the moment we met. I’m not your lackey, Xavia,” he spits out.
“No one ever said you were.” She jabs him in the chest and he drops back, except the guy with Brooke reaches out and loops an arm around Richter’s throat, securing him in a choke hold.
“Dipshit,” the dude snarls, “If she wants to gut you, you’re gonna take it. Now, stand the fuck still.”
“We’re finished,” X says in a labored voic
e. “You’re dead to me, Jon. You’ve dug your own grave. I doubt another newspaper will ever employ you.”
“Thanks to you!” he growls.
“No, Jon. Thanks to your greed. Your perverted sense of money and possessions, status and power.”
He wrenches free, and storms over to her. “I’m not the one with the twisted morals.”
Without thinking, I push him back, moving in between them, but not before X gasps in pain as if this dumbfuck has finally struck a chord. She needs to cut her ties with this cocksucker, and there’s only one way. If she’s fully informed that this asshole is in bed with her cousin.
“Watch it, Richter,” I warn.
“Or what? I know you’re dirty, Stone. All that popularity. The White House isn’t fast-tracking you for no reason. What’s in that debauched closet of yours, Senator Rolling Stone?”
“Shut the hell up!” X yells, going for him with her fists raised.
“Come on. Hit me,” he taunts her. “I’ll haul your ass into court along with these two morons. I’ve got my own resources.”
“Just try,” Brook laughs. “I’ll have you arrested tonight on a slew of charges.”
Insofar as my plans for Richter. He’s right. Neither X nor I can deck this SOB with witnesses around. I curl my arms over her shoulders, pulling her back to me as I turn, forming a barrier of protection for her sake, but as I feel her start to tremble, the violence within me can’t be contained. “Let me,” I whisper into her hair. “Stay put.”
I swing around, delivering a right hook into Richter’s cheek as he’s laughing bitterly to himself. I follow up with a pounding jab to his nose and a punch to his gut. He crashes into a wall, knocking off a framed picture that falls to the floor and he follows.
I glower at him. “Shut your backstabbing trap. Xavia, this so-called reporter’s resources involve your cousin. He isn’t just an acquaintance of Colin’s—he’s in bed with him both figuratively and biblically. They’ve been plotting for a long time, and recently jumped into active extortion with his last lover—a Midtown attorney. Probably why your cousin showed up at Harvard. This motherfucker’s morals aren’t bent. They’re nonexistent.”
His head snaps up and he stares up at me. “How would you know what I’m involved in?”
“You and my idiot cousin are lovers! How could you blackmail Mitch?” X demands.
He lowers his head. “That fucker was the one screwing around on his wife. Colin and I just taught him a lesson.”
“Your self-deluding crap is complete bullshit. It’s not the truth just because you think it is!” She steps back from him.
Richter’s eyes turn to daggers as he pushes off the floor. “Don’t act so outraged. I’m not the one skewed. There’s a story here! If you think, I don’t know all about the hush-hush secrets that are going down in D.C., you’re wrong! I might have missed the target on this one, but I’ll get to the bottom of all the lies and shit that’s hidden. When that day arrives, we’ll see what you’ve got to say, Miss High and Mighty. It’s coming, and all the dirty laundry from the Capitol will be hung out to dry!”
Derek goes to grab him, but Xavia whispers, “Let him go.” Shaking her head, she looks away. “I don’t ever want to see him again.”
I wrap my arm around her, tempering the desire to crush her against my chest as if to shelter her from all the pain that this idiot has caused her. Holding onto X, I watch as one of her closest friends—the one who backstabbed her—turns around indignantly, and pushes past Brooke and the other man. He has no idea what awaits him.
“Well, good the fuck riddance,” Brooke replies when Richter strides out the door without another word. “Oh by the way, the guard downstairs said to give a ring. He’s holding our licenses.”
X glances up at me. “Bennett, this is Derek Wolfe.”
“Or better known as this one’s soon-to-be husband. I’m pretty sure we’re going to see a lot of you and Xavia,” Derek replies, holding out his hand.
Chapter 22
ZEN DHARMA JAZZ
“WHAT WILL happen when we don’t show up tonight?” I lean against Bennett as we stand at the railing of his terrace. For a beat, we stare at each other. His eyes give nothing away and my pulse rockets.
“That’s not your concern.” Without warning, he cups my chin, crashing his mouth down to mine. He kisses me in his usual possessive fashion, owning my lips, and I cave. Feeling like a line of fire has ignited under my skin, I relish the heat radiating off his body. It’s like we’re a firestorm together. In need for more, I graze my fingers up the rock-hard contours of his arms as he pins me in place.
“You taste so good,” he says with a tender bite to the center of my bottom lip.
“Umm, are you avoiding?” My lips tingle as I drop my hands from his biceps when he steps away. He pours more wine into my glass before giving me a response. I’m hyper-focused on him and impatient to learn how this media snafu will play out. “Well?” I ask, gripping the railing.
“The club is closed,” he finally replies, fixing me with his unrelenting stare. The same one that does funny things to my insides. “Indefinitely,” he adds, kissing my nose.
“Because of me?” I swallow the lump of confusion that’s materialized out of thin air within my throat. Any normal person would be ecstatic, but I’m not.
He shakes his head, skimming the pad of one finger along my mouth. “Not exactly. Not in the way you might be thinking,” he murmurs, then straightens and empties his glass.
“This isn’t the time to clam up,” I inform him.
“I’m not.” He winks at me, setting his glass on the table by a chaise lounge.
“What are you doing?” I watch him peel off his shirt, and wipe it over the droplets of sweat dotting his tanned and broad chest.
“Baby, let’s not worry about the House. I’m working my channels and of course the Veep is scurrying. North can kiss our asses—he has more to lose than any of us and maybe he needs to be reminded of that fact.”
I stare open mouthed at him. “You’re not going to do something...against him. Are you?” My whole body heats at the idea of Bennett acting on his possessive streak where North is concerned.
“I’m not playing into his demented hands.” A muscle along his jaw twitches.
“What does that mean?”
“Trust me.” He leans over and kisses my mouth. “We aren’t in a position to risk inciting more rumors. We’re being tailed, and will be until our names are cleared from the press. It’s one thing to haul Richter into court—it’s another thing to do something stupid and get caught. Let’s get past the damage that he’s caused with his retaliatory accusations. Our attorneys will deal with the media and I’m working my back channels to find out what your grandparents are involved in. Until the dirt settles, no one from the Hill is willing to risk a full-blown scandal.”
Scandal. My breath catches on the word. A real scandal and I frown. “You’ll tell me everything you find out about how my grandparents are involved?”
“Everything. What else is troubling you?”
After all we’ve been through and as farfetched as it seems, with Bennett the House was a safe spot. A place I felt the different sides of myself coalesce. “It’s just I don’t see the club as evil. Sure there’s a risk...”
“Don’t get hung-up on using the House as a doorway to escape.”
“I’m not thinking in terms of escape. More like a shelter,” I tell him, but he has a point.
He obstinately refuses to discuss North’s offer other than stating the president will be dealt with—eventually. I’m still having trouble digesting how Jon and Colin were in on this idea of getting me to D.C. so they could have an in, and start to seed their new venture in blackmailing select targets on the Hill. In light of all that’s happened, a hiatus from our short-lived run at his club isn’t earthshattering. Not when we still have each other and our mutual need for hard. Rough. Kink.
“It’s a major reason the club exists, but
it’s not without side-effects,” he replies, watching me as his eyes take on a glassy veneer.
“Like hiding out?” I ask him point-blank.
“Precisely.”
Ben grunts as I sigh heavily. The swelling pain and anger that consume me, serve as a catalyst in my need for an escape route that he’s so aptly pointed out. And if there’s one thing both he and I have come away with today, it’s the need for the truth. Something we covet, and do a piss poor job of telling.
It’s our weakness and something we both can work on. Together.
I tap my fingers along the railing. “Okay, I hear what you’re not saying and it’s too loud to ignore. I agree to living in the moment. Being present and all that Zen dharma jazz.”
“It’s more than an item on a checklist. I want you here with me. Beyond today, and after this blows over. Take these.” He holds out a set of keys.
“You want me here? With you?”
“Whenever and as much as I can get. Your choice.”
“This is a huge step.” I look at the key ring in my hand as my heart pounds in my chest. “I hope you don’t get sick of me.”
“Never gonna happen.”
I spin the three keys along a silver-colored ring. One that reminds me of the collar around my neck. The one that binds us together...but really there’s much, much more.
“We’ll see.” I reply quietly, pocketing the keys.
He picks up his cell and hands it to me.” Pick a playlist. It’s time to get naked.”
I glance at his bare chest, and trace my finger down the center. “Now, that’s an offer I can’t resist.”
“Stop wasting time,” he growls, scraping his jaw along my cheek as I scroll through an extensive directory of music minus a smart-aleck rebuttal.
“This one. It’s perfect.” I nod when Boy and Bear’s ‘Southern Sky’ begins to play. He nuzzles my neck, holding onto my waist, and in the midst of calamity—I’m in heaven.
This is the first time I’ve been in Ben’s apartment and it’s quite the bachelor pad. Ultra-modern and sleek, even his terrace is something out of a tech digest. Unlike most of the places I’ve seen, his isn’t filled with excess. X.S. Okay, maybe it is, I muse and smile to myself.
