Mike relented and leaned down on her elbows. “I just wanted you to be happy, Gabe. He asked for my help. When I realized how serious he was about you, I couldn’t help but try.”
“The whole time?” Ah, she could still speak. Excellent. “You’ve been in on it since the beginning?”
She flushed. “Well, I wouldn’t say ‘in on it’. It sounds so…covert.”
“It is covert. How could you? You know how I feel about—”
Mike broke in. “Yes, I do know how you feel, but I don’t know why. I know you’re lonely. I’ve never made a secret of wanting you to be happy someday.”
“I was happy.”
“You were not.” Frowning, she stood straight again. “I know you thought you had everything you needed, but you couldn’t hide the truth from me. At first, I admit it was something of a joke. A prod to get you to think about dating someone more…suitable. But Jack has done so much to—”
Gabe stood, too, slapping her palms down on the bar. “I never asked him to. I never wanted him to change a damn thing about himself.”
“You’re not listening. He quit the escorting before he even called for your number. He knew I’d never let him near you like that, so he—”
“I know all that—”
“So he got a real job.”
Silenced, she sat back down.
“Didn’t know that, did you? I’d bet a monkey you wouldn’t let him tell you.”
Maybe it wasn’t so bad, then. He had another job, so he wouldn’t have starved. Small relief. She took a big swig of wine, barely noticing the taste. Somehow, she’d already managed to drink nearly the whole glass.
“He surely couldn’t get anything that would pay as much.” It was almost a plea, and when Mike offered to fill her glass again, she didn’t protest. “He hadn’t had another job in years. What could he get besides something entry level?”
“A friend put in a good word for him and got him a help desk position.” Mike shrugged. “I imagine it doesn’t pay as well, but it’s only temporary. When he finishes his degree, he’ll make a fortune.”
She blinked. “When he what?”
“Good grief, did you guys spend all your time in the sack? He’s going back to school to finish his degree.”
But that was one revelation too many. She tried to sink down onto the bar stool, missed and ended up on the floor. Luckily, she’d left her wine on the counter.
Mike peered over the bar, her eyes concerned. “Are you okay?”
She blinked. Was she? How the hell should she know?
“Gabe?”
He’d given up a lucrative job he loved for a crappy, probably low-paying help desk position. He was going back to school, adding that expense to everything she’d already cost him. Figures danced mockingly through her head, and she wished she’d never gotten that stupid birthday present in the first place. Who gets a gigolo for her birthday?
“Kiddo, you all right?”
She closed her eyes. “Do you know why I broke it off with the last guy?”
A long pause made her open her eyes. Mike was frowning, her dark eyes narrowed.
“I never told you, did I?”
“I tried not to ask. Eric, wasn’t it?”
Something like a smile tugged the corner of her mouth. “Yeah. Eric. He asked me to marry him. Bought this big ol’ diamond ring. Got down on one knee.”
Mike’s mouth dropped open.
“All I could see when I looked at that ring was how much it had cost. When I asked, he said he’d financed it. No big deal. But it was a big deal. I didn’t want to start a marriage with such a deficit already. I didn’t want to drag him down like that before we even started. I told him to take it back. He refused.”
“I assume he expected something a bit more romantic.”
“I imagine so. We got into this big fight, and I ended it right there. I don’t think he ever understood why it bothered me so much.”
A snort. “I sure as hell don’t. What woman doesn’t want a big ol’ rock to show off?”
She sat up, then dragged herself up onto the bar stool, feeling roughly two hundred years old. The wine beckoned, and she wasted no time in draining half the glass. It actually tasted kind of sweet, once she got used to the bitter tang.
Finally, she raised her eyes and said what she had never once admitted aloud. “My whole life, I’ve been a burden.”
“Gabe—”
“Let me finish.” She closed her eyes. “I’m like a millstone around the neck of anyone I care about. Mom and Dad—”
“They left us both, Gabe.”
She shook her head. “They stayed for you for seven years. It wasn’t until I came along that they buggered off. After that, I was Aunt Tab’s burden. I feel like I killed her myself.”
“No—”
“And then you. You gave up your chance at college. You gave up all your opportunities to raise me yourself. I’ll never forget that.”
“I didn’t—”
“So when Darren came along, I refused to be a millstone anymore. I left so you could be happy, and it worked. You are happy with him. And your girls.”
She forced a crooked grin and opened her eyes to see tears streaming down Mike’s face. She hadn’t meant to make her cry. Just one more burden to bear.
“And when Eric proposed with that stupid ring, I just couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to be his burden.” Her face hardened, and she stood, swigging down the rest of the wine in her glass. “And I refuse to be Jack’s.”
“Oh, honey.” Mike came around the bar and engulfed her, tears wetting her neck and bringing answering moisture to her own eyes. “You’re not my burden. You’re my sister. You weren’t Aunt Tab’s burden. She loved you like her own daughter. You are no one’s burden.”
“Then why does everyone have to give up their whole life to take care of me, damn it?” Sobs threatened, and she swallowed them back, sick at her stomach. Sick at heart.
Pulling away to look her in the eye, Mike took her face between her hands. “It’s not giving up when you want to do it. I wanted to take care of you. You’re my sister. I didn’t want you raised in some foster home with strangers and God knows what. I love you and always wanted you with me.” She swallowed hard, more tears trickling down her cheeks. “And Jack wanted to quit. He wanted to make himself a better man for you because he loves you.”
A single tear escaped her rigid control, and the dam burst again. Sobs shook her shoulders, and Mike gathered her close, stroking her hair.
“I d-didn’t…want a b-better…man!” she all but wailed, clinging to her sister and crying like bleeding. “I just…want him to…to b-be…hap-h-happy.”
Mike rocked her slowly back and forth, making soothing noises. The flow dried up soon enough, but she still hated that she’d cried again. Twice in her life was more than enough. She couldn’t breathe out of her nose, her eyes burned and her head ached like a rotten tooth. She was miserable.
“I want you to listen very carefully, Gabe, and I want you to believe me. Are you calm enough to listen now?”
Feeling like a child, she nodded against her sister’s neck.
“You are a wonderful, loving person. You are not a burden. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”
“But—”
A hard squeeze. “Just listen. You are a gift, not a curse. I love you. Your friends love you. Aunt Tab loved you. And Jack loves you. He hasn’t given up anything for you. He has tried with everything he has to take exactly what he wants. You are the only thing keeping him from being happy. Do you understand?”
She hesitated. That selfish, traitorous part of her wanted to swallow the tale whole-heartedly. It wanted to call Jack up and tell him she loved him, too, and try to live happily ever after with him.
But would everything be all right? Was she just being selfish and careless?
Mike pulled away and eyed her critically, her grip firm on Gabe’s upper arms. “Do you understand?” When she still
didn’t…couldn’t answer, her sister sighed and let her go. “I guess he’s going to California after all, then.”
She flinched, almost as if she’d been slapped. In a way, she had been.
“What?”
Sighing, Mike stepped back and sat down on the bar stool. “I told him to wait until I could talk to you, but he seemed awful anxious to leave. You wouldn’t return his phone calls, wouldn’t talk to him.” She shrugged. “He’s just about given up hope.”
Pole-axed, she could only stare.
“Then again, he might have already gone. I haven’t been able to get ahold of him since last weekend. A week is a hell of a long time to stew.”
“California?”
Another heavy sigh. “Yup.”
“I…I’ll call him—”
Mike shook her head. “He said something about canceling his phone service. He keeps getting calls from old clients and wants to make a fresh start, you know. In California.”
No. No, no, no. He couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t. If he loved her, he wouldn’t leave.
Would he?
Something jingled, and she blinked the world back into focus to find her car keys dangling before her eyes. Without a word, she snatched them out of Mike’s hand and headed for the door. She did grab her sunglasses, but that was her only pause.
“Why, Gabe, wherever are you going?”
She slammed the door behind her.
Jack stared out the sliding glass door to his balcony as the storm moved in. Just his luck. The heat finally broke enough for him to go out for a much needed jog, and it stormed instead. The temperature had dropped probably twenty degrees in an hour—just enough to bring on a downpour. Lightning flashed close enough that his land line phone dinged, and he winced as thunder quickly followed. Missouri weather. It was as much a mystery to him now as when he first moved here.
Sighing, he shut the blinds. He really needed a good, hard run, but wishing for what he wanted never seemed to work. One of these days, he’d give it up.
He thought of Gabe’s laugh, her crooked grin, how her eyes lit up when he made her smile. Giving up was not an option.
His cell rang, and he picked it up with that now-familiar hope that always quickly died. Again, it wasn’t her.
“Hey, Reggie.”
“So you’re answering your phone now. I hope this means you talked to her?”
He grunted. “Not yet. I haven’t called today. I figure she might cool down if I lay off a bit. Maybe tomorrow after work.”
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
“No, I’m sorry. I all but kicked you out yesterday, and you were only trying to help. I appreciate it, and I shouldn’t have been so rude.”
“It’s all right.” But she sounded pleased. “I just called to see if you wanted to hang out with some friends of mine tonight. I hate to think of you sitting there by yourself, watching the storm.”
A rueful grin quirked his mouth. “Lucky guess. But no thanks. I’m going for a jog when the storm lets up. I haven’t run for weeks, and my legs are all stiff. If I don’t watch it, I’ll get all flabby, and then who’d want me?”
She laughed, as he’d hoped. “The day Blade Savage doesn’t have a line of women swooning over him is the day I hang up my headset.”
“Perish the thought.” His grin faltered. “Thanks for calling, Reg. Really.”
“The offer’s open. I’m at the office until 5:00, so we were planning to meet at that new dance club at seven or so.”
“Why are you at the office? You don’t do weekends.”
“Lydia called in sick, and the new girl still can’t figure out the phones. Mr. Briggs himself called me, so I really couldn’t say no.”
“Poor thing. The whole office would fall apart without you.”
“Jerk. And how’s that help desk position working out for you?”
That earned a chuckle. “Touché. I do put in my fair share of overtime.”
“Remember: Enzo’s at seven.”
“Have fun.”
He hung up and tried to sit calmly. He even turned on the TV for a minute or two, but when all he found on ten different stations were commercials, he turned it back off and prowled over to the door again. He was too twitchy to stay inside. He felt like a caged animal, and, like an animal, the storm made him nervous.
Or maybe he was just tired of sitting by the phone, willing it to ring.
Suddenly disgusted, he headed for his room and changed into sweats and a T-shirt. A little rain wouldn’t hurt him, and the lightning had let up if the receding thunder was any indication. He needed to get out.
He paused on the way to the door, though, debating whether or not to take his phone with him. Frowning, he made himself leave without it. He was just going to the park across the street. She wouldn’t call anyway, and if she did, maybe it'd do her some good to be the one leaving the message for once.
Forcing a hard little grin, he ran down the stairs and into the storm.
“Directory assistance. What city?”
Gabe squinted, trying to see through the downpour and stay on the right side of the white line. “Kansas City, Missouri.”
“Listing?”
“Briggs’ Escort Service.”
“One moment, please.”
She bit her lip and wished she had both hands on the wheel as she blasted past a semi. Its backsplash covered her windshield for a heart-stopping moment before her wipers cleared the view again and she pulled fully past it. She shouldn’t be doing eighty in a storm this bad after drinking two glasses of wine, but she couldn’t seem to edge her foot off the gas pedal and felt as sober as she ever had. The last two hours had been agony. She’d called Jack three times, and while the number hadn’t been disconnected, he hadn’t answered. Was he ignoring her, or did he even still have his phone?
“The number you’ve requested is 8…1…6…”
She grunted and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for the stupid recording to tell her it could dial for her. She pushed the appropriate button when prompted, then waited for the call to connect. One ring. Two.
“Briggs’. Can I help you?”
“Yes, ma’am. Can you give me directions to your business?”
“Absolutely. Where are you coming from?”
“I’m on 71 Highway right now.”
“Do you have something to write with?”
A harried laugh escaped her. “Actually I’m driving. I’ll just have to remember. Shoot.”
The woman reeled off a series of exits, then proceeded to rights and lefts. Gabe repeated them to be sure she remembered. Not sparing time for chitchat, she thanked her and hung up. The city loomed ahead, and she set herself to remembering where the hell she was supposed to turn off.
After a single missed turn, she saw the Briggs’ sign and pulled into the parking lot. She hadn’t thought to grab an umbrella—it hadn't even been cloudy in Joplin when she’d left so suddenly—so she barreled out into the rain and ran for the door. She was drenched in an instant, and she couldn’t help but blush when she blundered inside with her T-shirt clinging to her breasts and her hair plastered to her face.
The receptionist raised an eyebrow, looking her over with cool blue eyes. “Can I help you, miss?”
Shivering in the sudden cold of air conditioning, she resisted the urge to run over to the desk and stayed on the rug just inside the door where her dripping wouldn’t cause a mess. “I don’t know, actually. I…”
She bit her lip. What had she planned to do here? Demand to know where Jack lived? Would they tell her even if they could? She was wasting time. She should be calling Mike. Surely, Mike would know how to get to Jack’s apartment.
“You…need a date?”
Blushing to the roots of her hair and banishing the shivers, she stood up straight. “No, I actually need an address. Do you…does anyone here know where Jack Savage lives?”
The receptionist’s eyes narrowed. “Jack Savage?”
Her blush de
epened. “I mean Blade. He used to work here. I was hoping…”
To her surprise, the receptionist all but leapt to her feet. “Are you her?”
“Her who?”
“Gabe? Are you Gabe Turner?”
Frowning, she stepped back against the door. The look on the woman’s face wasn’t very friendly. “Why? Who are you?”
“Jack’s friend, and I don’t want him hurt any worse than you’ve already managed.”
Brightening despite the hard words, she snapped her fingers a few times, trying to remember the name. “You’re…oh, damn, what’s your name? It’ll come to me…Regina!”
The woman pulled up at that, tugging at her snazzy suit jacket. “He talks about me?”
“Not much. I have to be kinda careful what I ask him. He doesn’t like to talk about himself, and I don’t…didn’t want him to think—” She cut herself off, now almost sweating with the intensity of her blush.
Regina studied her, eyes narrow, for a long moment. “You didn’t want him to think you cared for him, did you?”
Despite her resolve to drip only on the entry mat, she walked over to the counter and leaned her elbows on it. “I don’t know how much you know, but Jack says you’re one of his only friends, so I have to hope that he confided even a little of the…situation to you.” When the woman didn’t order her from the building, she reluctantly continued. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know he’d quit, and I didn’t want him to know because I didn’t want him to give up his job because of me.”
“So, why are you here?”
“I have to find him. My sister said he’s moving to California, and I don’t think I can bear it if he does. He’s not answering his phone. Please, please tell me were he lives.”
Regina’s face fell, her gaze dropping to her keyboard. “So he’s moving after all. I’d hoped…I mean, I didn’t think…”
“Regina, please.”
Cool blue eyes met her own, and she felt herself measured and found wanting. “You don’t deserve him, you know. He changed his whole life for you, and you kicked him out for it.”
My Gigolo: The Care and Feeding of a Male Prostitute Page 24
