“Fuck,” Vaughn muttered as he took a step after her.
“Hey, I didn’t get the impression she wants your company,” the asshole chimed in as he put a hand on Vaughn’s arm.
Vaughn’s gaze dropped to where the guy touched him, and his anger intensified fourfold. His hand itched to curl into a fist. The desire to feel flesh giving way beneath his bones was a living, breathing thing. His nostrils flared, and something in his eyes must have given him away, because the guy removed his hand and took a small step back.
“Look, I don’t know what I walked into, but until T.J. tells me to take a hike, I’m going to continue my evening with her.”
Vaughn just shook his head. “Yeah, you do that.” Then he turned and headed back toward the restrooms, suddenly even more desperate to find her.
When he arrived in the small dark hallway outside the bathrooms, there was no sign of T.J., but Jaycee was there, hip propped against the wall next to the women’s room.
“She’s in there.” She jabbed a thumb at the door. “You’re looking for T.J., right?”
Vaughn scratched his head, all kinds of awkward settling in now that he wasn’t watching T.J. with another man.
“Uh, yeah,” he answered.
“I figured. She looked upset, so I knew it had to involve you somehow.”
What the hell?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“Oh, come on, Vaughn. You know you drive her crazy. Hell, everybody in town knows you drive her crazy.”
Okay, he was not going to discuss the woman he loved with a woman he’d fucked. Something about that just seemed…wrong.
“Are you waiting for the bathroom?” he asked, his tone sharp and impatient.
Jaycee shrugged. “I was going to freshen up my lipstick.”
“Why don’t you use the men’s room, then. It has a mirror too.”
“But it’s so interesting right here.” Jaycee smirked, and Vaughn glared at her. “Fine,” she huffed, pushing off the wall and making sure to brush her chest against Vaughn’s as he stood there waiting for her to leave.
“But remember, my offer’s always open, hot stuff. All the personal Jaycee therapy you want. And I won’t pitch a fit and lock myself in the bathroom.” With a toss of her long auburn hair, she was gone, and Vaughn stepped to the bathroom door and leaned his head against it.
“T.?” He spoke into the wood of the door. “Will you please come out?”
He listened for a moment, hearing nothing, then knocked lightly. “T.J.? Come on. We need to talk.”
The door suddenly swung open, and he stumbled forward, his hands landing on T.J.’s waist as she glared at him with eyes that scorched him down to his very bones.
“Leave. Me. Alone,” she hissed, giving him an ineffectual shove.
“No,” he growled back, advancing and forcing her into the tiny bathroom. He reached behind him and shut the door, clicking the lock down, while keeping his other hand firmly planted on T.J. He had her trapped now, between a door, him, and a sink.
“Vaughn, I’m serious—”
“I know you are,” he said softly, watching her as her breath came in short, frustrated huffs. “And normally, I’d let you have your way, but not like this—not—”
“Not what?” she gritted out, her eyes flashing in the low light of the confined space.
And it was confined. A toilet, a sink, some tile. He could feel the heat from her body, smell the citrusy perfume that rose from her flushed skin. And he could hear every one of those little breaths, the kinds of breaths that he remembered she used to take when he was inside her, filling her, stretching her, driving her insane with want.
She made a noise, a squeak, and he saw her eyes flash with the same awareness he was having. It was T.J. and him, alone, touching, breathing each other’s air, feeling each other’s pain.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should never have said that to you the other day. I didn’t mean it. You’ve been the one thing that’s kept me going all these weeks, and I’ve fought you at every turn. You didn’t deserve it, and I promise I’m done being a dick.”
“You’re sorry for the other day?”
“I am.” His fingers dug into her hip just a fraction, and he saw her swallow.
“What else are you sorry for?”
Oh hell, something about that question sounded dangerous. He knew he had a lot to apologize for, but he needed to get the right thing or she’d have his balls for supper. He hadn’t seen T.J. this angry in a very long time.
“I’m sorry for all of it. Every angry word and asshole remark. I’m sorry for everything I’ve said and done around you since the accident.”
“Since the accident?” The pitch of her voice rose, and warning sirens went off in Vaughn’s head. “That’s great, Vaughn, because you’ve been a total asshole since the accident. But you know what? That I at least understood. That I could explain. You had something awful happen, and the rest of us can’t ever fully understand what that’s been like for you. But the thing is? That’s not what I need you to be sorry for.”
What? He shook his head slowly, trying to follow what she was telling him. But that damn perfume of hers was making it harder and harder to concentrate. His cock was aching, his head was swimming, and all he could focus on as she talked was her lips, not her words.
“What do you need me to be sorry for? Whatever it is, I am. But let’s go back to being us, T. You and me. Not some dipshit who thinks he can touch you on a dance floor when you’ve only just met.”
And that was when she slapped him.
The crack echoed around the tile surfaces of the room, and Vaughn’s hand went to his cheek in response. He saw a flash of pain cross her face, and then she shoved him away, squeezing around him as she went for the door.
“Fuck you, Vaughn. Seriously, fuck you. Go back to being us? You mean the us where you screw every woman within fifty miles and then text me afterwards? You mean the us where you run off every guy I try to date and lead me on with movie nights where we cuddle but never kiss, or dances where you hold me close before you leave with someone like Jaycee?”
Vaughn felt his face flush, and his gut roiled with nausea. Even though he’d been doing it for years, it had never seemed as heartless and sick in his own head as it did hearing it from her lips.
“You know what I want you to be sorry for? It’s not the last eight weeks. It’s the last six years. We were in love, Vaughn, do you remember that? Or has it completely slipped your weak, self-absorbed mind? We were in love until the day your parents died and then… You. Left. Me.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and his heart shriveled a little as he reached out to touch her again, trying to soothe her wounds, make her understand something that he himself could barely process.
“T…”
She gazed at him, and for just a moment, she opened up, let him see everything right there in her big, beautiful eyes, and it was like a hoof to the heart, something that punctured the shell he’d erected so many years ago.
“I want you to be sorry you broke my damn heart. And you never have been,” she told him sadly. “So I have to move on. And you have to let me. I’m lonely…and you’re never going to change.”
His hand fell to his side as she turned the knob, but she paused, her head cocked his direction, almost as if she were waiting to hear what he might say. But he only dropped his gaze, because he knew she was right. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. She deserved only the best, and no one as fucked up as him could give that to her. So now he needed to step aside and let her fly, whether it was with the asshole waiting outside, or some douche they’d all yet to meet. Either way, she’d be better off than she would be with him.
She shut the door quietly behind her as she left, and he stood there alone, in a cold, dark bathroom, what was left of his leg throbbing almost as painfully as his heart.
7
“Aren’t you worried about them spen
ding so much time together? They’re so young. What if they start—you know?”
“Grace, they’re kids, best friends, and only twelve. When they get to be teenagers, it’ll all change. They won’t want to hang out with each other when they can hang out with a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
T.J. stood outside her parents’ doorway and listened quietly, her breath coming in short puffs.
“I don’t think it’s that simple, Ted. There’s something between them—it’s more than just kid stuff.”
“Well, if you’re right, then at some point we’ll have to put an end to the sleepovers and campouts, but I don’t think it’s time yet.”
“Will you please talk to Rex about it anyway? He needs to have a heart-to-heart with Vaughn, and I’ll check in with T.J. Just to make sure we’re being responsible.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll make sure the boy gets the lecture. He’s a good kid, though, Grace. They both are.”
“I know. I just don’t want my baby to get her heart broken. She’s in love with him and isn’t old enough to realize it.”
T.J. slipped back down the hall to her room and crawled into bed, where she dreamed of horses and sunshine, and a boy who made everything in the world brighter and better.
T.J.’s phone dinged, and she slowly opened her eyes to bright sunlight and a cat on her chest.
“Randall,” she croaked at the gray Persian. “Can’t you go back to living with Mom and Dad?”
Big gold eyes blinked before sharp claws dug into her skin, and Randall launched himself off her torso and onto the floor.
“Ow! Shit, that hurt!” T.J. howled, rubbing at the skin under her flimsy tank top.
She rolled onto her side and picked up her phone, squinting at the screen.
Good morning. I have to go to San Luis Obispo today, but I’ll be back Tuesday. I’d like to see you.
Drew.
He’d been so understanding about her escape from the dance floor. Then he’d offered to give her a ride home and been a perfect gentleman, walking her to the door, giving her a sweet kiss on the cheek.
And she liked him, she did. He was polite, funny, good-looking. He was what she knew she needed. He just wasn’t Vaughn. And, of course, in Janelle’s view, that was his greatest recommendation.
She sighed, setting the phone back on the nightstand before rolling to her back and staring at the ceiling.
“Theodora Jayne!” A shrill voice came blasting through the quiet of the small house.
“Noooo,” T.J. mumbled as she threw one arm across her face.
“Theodora!” Her mother appeared at the doorway to her bedroom. “What are you doing still in bed?”
God, T.J. really needed to get a house that wasn’t on her parents’ property.
“Mom!” she snapped, sitting up. “You can’t just come barging into my house. What if I hadn’t been alone?”
Her mother’s hair had once been the same color as T.J.’s but was now sprinkled with salt amid the pepper. She kept it long, though, and today it was in its customary braid that hung midway down her back.
“Psshh!” Her mother flapped a hand in T.J.’s direction. “You’re always alone, dear.”
“Mom!”
Her mother looked around the room. “Maybe if you cleaned, you’d have more luck getting someone to come spend the night?”
“Aargh!” T.J. flopped back down and pulled the covers over her head.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Grace said, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting T.J.’s shoulder through the thick comforter. “What’s Vaughn done now?”
“Mmdunwighum.”
“What?”
T.J. pulled the covers off her face. “I said, I’m done with Vaughn.”
Her mother pursed her lips and looked at her sympathetically. “Okay.”
“I am!” T.J. sat up, brushing off her mother’s mothering. “I want a relationship, Mom. A real one, not some permanently stunted adolescent version of friends without any benefits.”
She climbed out of bed and headed to her closet, picking the nearest pair of sweats off the floor and stabbing her feet into the leg holes.
“He’s been through a lot in the last few months, sweetheart. Do you really think now is the time to abandon him?”
T.J.’s face flushed with heat. Her own damn mother. You’d think after everything Vaughn had put her through that her own damn mother would be on her side.
“Really, Mom? Have you forgotten all the tears I’ve cried over that man since I was sixteen?”
Grace stood and walked to face her, taking T.J.’s shoulders in her hands. “No, sweetheart. But I also haven’t forgotten that he’s a young man who’s lost his parents and his leg but has yet to lose his pride. Vaughn Jenkins is a proud young man, and the last person he wants to be vulnerable with is the girl he loves.”
T.J. felt the sting of tears behind her eyes, but she swallowed it back and shook her head. “I can’t anymore, Mom. He’s not ever going to get past it—whatever it is. He’s not going to come back to me. It broke him when they died. He’s double broken now, and I can’t fix him.”
Grace sighed, watching her daughter’s face, making T.J. feel as though she was a bug under a microscope.
“You know there’s no one I’d rather see you with?”
“I know,” T.J. answered softly.
“But you’re right.”
“I am?” T.J.’s heart sped up just a touch, and she stepped back from her mother’s touch.
“Yes,” Grace said, all business now. “You’re absolutely right. It’s time for you to move on. Go out, have fun, meet some other men. I love that boy, but I won’t have my daughter wasting anymore of her precious youth waiting on him.”
“Well, now that you mention it…”
“What? Did you meet someone?” Grace nearly bubbled over with excitement, causing T.J. to roll her eyes.
“Janelle introduced me to a nice guy last night, but don’t go nuts, it was a few dances. We hardly even had a chance to talk.”
“But you’re going to see him again?”
T.J. moved to the adjoining bathroom, leaving the door open as she put her contact lenses in. “He said he’d like to when he’s back in town. He’s a doctor and travels to different health clinics in this part of the state.”
“He sounds lovely, dear,” Grace answered distractedly as she moved around the bedroom, picking up T.J.’s clothes and folding them.
“Mom, don’t pick up after me. Why are you here, anyway?”
Grace stopped for a moment to consider. “Oh! Your father wants you to go out to the west acreage with him. Some of the herd needs to be brought in to the pens so they can get their spring checkups.”
T.J. sighed. It was one of the tasks she and Vaughn used to help her dad with. Vaughn was the son her parents had been missing. Somehow she doubted Dr. Drew knew how to herd cattle. Hell, he probably didn’t even know how to ride.
“Okay. Do I get breakfast out of the deal?”
“Yes, but hurry up. I was about to put it all away.”
T.J. brushed her teeth quickly, threw on a baseball cap over a ponytail, and followed her mother out the door of her little guesthouse. It was the first day of the rest of her life—a life without damaged cowboys who broke a girl’s heart.
It was a typical Central Coast afternoon—mist hung in the air, and the sun was still weak in the sky as T.J. rode along the fence line of her father’s southern acreage. Saturdays were the day she worked around the ranch, and after helping her father bring in the cattle that needed vaccinations, she’d promised to check out some fencing. Her parents’ spread was much smaller than the Jenkinses’, but they kept a herd of cattle as well as laying hens and horses. Combined with her mother’s trust fund, the ranch had always provided a comfortable living for the Briscos, and T.J. loved the land and helping out.
She’d majored in PT because she liked sports and helping athletes and it was a solid way to earn a living, but when she envisioned her future,
it had always been marriage, children, and taking over the ranch when her dad tired of the long days and physical labor. Of course, that fantasy had always included Vaughn in the position of husband and father of her children, as well as her partner running the family business.
She sighed as her horse skipped a step or two around a rock he didn’t like.
“Easy, Cupcake,” she crooned, leaning over his long neck and giving a reassuring pat. Cupcake whinnied and snorted, falling back into a comfortable pace.
T.J. kept her eyes on the fence line, watching for any indications that the wire and wood that ran along the entire southern boundary of her family’s property was in need of repair.
She could see some stragglers from the herd up ahead and started planning how she’d force them back to the main group about half a mile away straight north.
Then she noticed him, a man kneeling next to the fence between her and the cattle. He was obviously working on the fencing, his horse chomping grass nearby. He was wearing a baseball cap, so she couldn’t see what color hair he had, but she knew from the long legs and broad shoulders that it was one of the Jenkins men—and not the one she pined for.
The last thing she wanted was an awkward conversation with one of Vaughn’s brothers, so she pulled Cupcake up short, preparing to turn around and go back the way she came. But as the man stood and waved to her, she realized she was too late. She reluctantly waved back and moved forward, trotting to reach him, even though everything in her wanted to run hard the other way.
Ty took his hat off as she approached, and ran a hand through his mussed hair before he replaced the cap, smiling broadly at her.
“Hey there,” he said, holding up the hammer and wire clippers he held. “One of the guys saw that this section was coming down yesterday, so I thought I’d come take care of it before we had Brisco stock wandering our pristine organic land.”
T.J. rolled her eyes. Ever since the Jenkins brothers had taken their ranch organic, they spent a lot of time side-eyeing non-organic cattle.
Ty grinned. “What brings you out?”
“Just running this section of fence. Obviously, someone needed to.”
Vaughn's Pride: California Cowboys Page 5
